So, today is a pretty crappy day in the real world. Three major companies fired a lot of people: MTV, AT&T and NBC. Yeah, pretty big deal, especially if you are a college senior hoping, pleading, praying, and considering trading in some “favors,” for a job for next year.

Needless to say, it’s not a happy day out there. Not that you have it any better; you are probably holed up in a library somewhere cramming for a crappy final that doesn’t matter anyway now that there are no jobs to be had. Awesome.

Well, how about a little laughter? It is the best medicine (besides Valium, Pot and Vodka), right? This video always makes us laugh, so we thought we’d share it. So watch it and perk up, kids. At least the Big 3 Auto Makers are still doin’ alright.

Oh. Wait…

Well, at least it’s National Cookie Day. Go buy yourself a package of Oreos and “celebrate.”

According to several tech sites, Republican VP nominee Sarah Palin reportedly had her Yahoo email acount hacked into earlier today, with screencaps leaked onto Wikileaks by a “hacking group” known as Anonymous.

From itWorld.com: “Governor Palin has come under criticism for using private email accounts to conduct government business and in the process avoid transparency laws,” Wikileaks wrote in a note accompanying the material. “The list of correspondence, together with the account name, appears to re-enforce the criticism.”"

This post from Gawker has a ton of screencaps of the supposed emails, as well as a few family pictures and a ton of email addresses — should you weirdly wish to punk any of Palin’s pals.

Thank God nobody cares enough to hack my email…there’d be a whole lot more than some possibly incriminating business correspondences in my gmail trash, and I’d really like to keep that trial subscription to Playgirl (RIP!) a secret.

Recently, I read an article that centered on a Harvard professor’s anger after a recent grad whom he taught (Jared Kushner, the son of realllly powerful real estate developer) went out and bought the New York Observer — and then slashed the paychecks of the Observer’s freelancers, one of whom was the Harvard professor himself. The professor was pissed that Kushner, who most likely gave him attitude in the classroom, had the money and the audacity to do something that monumental, while the professor was making around $15,500 a year.

“When intellectuals act as clerks and students act as clients, how do college teachers differ from corporate accountants?” the professor angrily writes. “…the sedulous banality of the rich degrades teaching into a service-class preoccupation whose chief duty is preparing clients for monied careers.”

Big words (I mean, he teaches at Harvard. I think it’s a prerequisite), but what the guy is basically saying that rich students make him feel like he’s not doing anything except helping them learn how to grow up and screw the little guys. Rich kids make this guy feel like he’s nothing more than a stepping stone toward big conglomerate world domination.

He’s sort of got a point, but it’s a moot one, because…I mean…duh.

A lot of insanely rich kids grow up believing most of the human race is there to serve them. I attended undergrad at a private liberal arts college where Gucci purses and Prada shoes were perfectly in place at 8:30 in the morning, and you better believe there were some kids with major attitude in class. A degree was something they simply had to tolerate before Daddy or Mommy or Uncle Dearest would set them up in some prime position at whatever giant company their family owned. Read More »

Okay. This needs to be said. The time has come.

Lindsay Lohan is not a lesbian.

I repeat: Lindsay Lohan is not a lesbian.

Yesterday, Gawker (a site usually so snarky and cynical they probably wear American Apparel clothes just to be ironic), posted an article about how the Lilo / Ronson lesbian affair might really be the real thing, and listed all these points that kind of prove the two are in a relationship. Their biggest piece of evidence? A picture on Sam’s MySpace page that shows her and Lindsay “kissing”.

See how I put the word kissing in quotes? That’s because the picture is pretty much the weakest thing I’ve ever seen. I have more passionate kisses with my Christian Bale poster that’s been in my bedroom since 8th grade. There’s more heat in a handshake than in that picture.

Lindsay Lohan is not a lesbian.

What she is, is media savvy. Read More »

Breaking News: George Clooney is still the perfect man

Ladies, this guy understands romance

10 fun Robert Downey Jr facts–#11 is that he’s my future baby daddy

Turn that frown upside down…with semen!

Why wouldn’t you want to watch a mini-van talk show?

How the mighty have fallen–Fantasia got fired!

Jackson family to fill the void in TV industry

Apparently, teen girls are more impressionable than we thought

…which might explain the trend of Baby Stilletos

Blackberry,

I have been so busy and my life has been so hard. No one understands how hard it is to be me. Every1 is so jealous of me that they have to find ways to bring me down. Especially now that Nicole has that dumb, stupid baby.

Like last week – I had a superhot photo shoot to do and I had a smarty idea. The smartyest – like, you know how I always look hot in all of the picshurs that I take. Like every single one. Well, I was thinking like how can I make myself like an even gooder model. And geniousosity – the only thing that could make a picture of me more better would be a PUPPY!

So I pulled over right away to buy one and the store WOULDN’T LET ME. Something about how I don’t feed them or whatever – but like, I hug my puppies when I feel like it and, sometimes, I bring them out to the clubs with me like a good puppy mommy. And if I don’t put them in my closet, then where else would they go? Besides, if I don’t need to eat a lot and I’m so tall, they don’t need to eat either because they’re so tiny and preshus. Read More »

Did you know the Daytime Emmy’s happened? Yeah, us either. But Ellen Degeneres did.

We can’t stop laughing. Just look.

Not sure which is more disturbing about this story; being contestants on American Gladiator, or being the mother of your own grandchildren.

Apparently, Boys Like Girls like girls. In other news: girls also like boys.

Porn isn’t just for boys, anymore. Even a good girl can learn a few things…

This just in: the real world isn’t as fun as college.

[Warning to the reader: Story line and contents of this episode are discussed below].

Bret and Jemaine have moved to NYC from New Zealand. This first episode – the pilot – is my favorite, as FOC packs in a number of songs, allowing the viewer to get a real sense of what their act is all about. (The other episodes, I’ve found, don’t include as many songs as this first one).

With a full introduction to Bret and Jemaine, the show also highlights all the side characters. There’s Mel (Kristen Schaal), the “fan” (viz. a stalker); Murray (Rhys Darby), their incompetent “agent,” who is, as I mentioned in my previous piece, also a representative for the New Zealand consulate; and Dave (Rick Shroeder), their uneducated, coarse American friend.

THE PREMISE

Although Bret and Jemaine are trying to get gigs, there’s another issue – the two musicians are both on the look out for “hot girls,” and long to have a real girlfriend. As it turns out, when one or the other dates a girl, problems ensue, and the hilarity of these situations is a delightful highlight. In this case, the main love interest, for Jemaine, is a woman named Sally (Rachel Blanchard).

Jemaine first sees Sally at Dave’s party. She is in a spotlight, her make-up is impeccable, and her hair is blowing around her face. When Jemaine sees Sally from across the room, he begins to belt out a song, called “Part-Time Model.” As the first song for FOC, it demonstrates their ability to weave tunes into the story line – its seamlessness is nothing short of impressive. (Incidentally, all references to songs hereafter will be listed below each recap, and if you want to read the actual lyrics, HBO provides a useful page for that). Read More »

So, have you heard about Josh Stein and Emily Gould?

Don’t worry. You will. And soon.

The New York Times Magazine is running a cover piece by Gould this Sunday. It’s ostensibly about “the dangers of oversharing on the Internet,” and is actually the culmination of a breakup sadder and less significant than anyone could possibly imagine. The story goes like this:

Josh blogged. Emily blogged. They blogged together on Gawker. They screwed. She blogged about them screwing. He read her blog about them screwing. He wrote an article about her blogging about them screwing. She wrote an article about his article about her blogging about them screwing. Gawker blogged about her article about his article about her blogging about them screwing, and so the whole universe devoured

itself, as in the end of Southland Tales when the two Seann William Scotts finally meet, thereby creating a rift in the time/space continuum.

This, by the way, is why my boyfriend is not allowed to read CollegeCandy. Read More »

It’s Barack O’MANIA!!

George Clooney’s inner dialogue

You know, sometimes I wonder what Amy Winehouse’s thoughts would sound like

Living Lohan preview. ‘Nough said.

SO. READY. FOR. INDIANA JONES.

Celebrity couples update: because I’m totally alone

Beer Pong 2.0–Gawker vs. CollegeHumor vs Facebook

I love everything that Richard Simmons stands for

Protect your banana–and tell your boyfriend to do the same!