Did you know that there is a Wikipedia entry for “celebrity sex tapes”? Well, there is. There are actually so many celeb sex tapes that there is an entry on Wikipedia explaining what a celeb sex tape is and the strange ways that sex tapes have made people more famous. And while stars like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian managed to use their sex tapes to extend their 15 minutes of fame, there are countless B, C and D-list celebs whose amateur videos earned nothing more than a “WTF?!” Here are 18 celebs who have not-so-secret sex tapes.

[Lead image via Dariush M./Shutterstock]

Ego and rock’n'roll usually go hand in hand, but there are certain artists who defy expectations in the douchebag department. Certain rockers who just can’t keep their mouths shut — whether there’s a stage mic or a report’s mic in front of them. Certain dudes who make our top 5 Cockiest Rocker Dbags.

5) Noel Gallagher

Remember this douche? Yah. Not many people do. For some reason Oasis is still making music, but the only thing we ever heard when we looked at them were the words “ugly” and “all-our-songs-sound-the-same“

4) Gene Simmons

A few months ago, Simmons recorded a sex tape that made just about everyone I know puke up their lunch. Sure, KISS was a good band, but saying things like “every other band should be wiping my ass” is just pure Dbag material — especially if you look like your face is made of wax that’s melting.

3) Little Richard

Little Richard and his tiny moustache made some good music in his day, but you wouldn’t exactly consider him “the architect of rock ‘n’ roll,” would you? The architect of tacky sequined jackets? Sure! The architect of upper lip hair? Yup! Well, it doesn’t matter what you’d consider, because Little Richard knows.

2) Kanye

No lie, Kanye knows music — or at least his kind of music. He’s got a certain genre pretty much covered, but that doesn’t mean that he’s the most popular rocker of all time. I mean, if he was, my mom would know who he is…and I’m pretty sure if I said Kanye to to my mom, she’d asked if that was a type of take-out I can only get in NYC.

1) John Lennon

He has to be #1. Because he tried to take on Jesus. And look…you just don’t take on Jesus. I mean, can you walk on water, buddy? I don’t think so. That guy is totally in the popular clique of the Cosmos.

Any other rocker Dbags we should know about?

What made Bo’s mom show off her Gene Simmon’s tongue and hit on Tila in front of a 10 year old? Poor thing is getting the education that he never wanted from his mom.

Next up is Tila in Westchester, NY, visiting Kristy. They start at the ice rink. Kristy must have been the junior ice champion at one point. They go on to Kristy’s house to meet the family and I cringe when they all start dancing to the show’s theme song. Does Tila sing this crap? No one should be “freaking” on anyone right now. My mom would have died 4.7 seconds into this mess.

Off to San Diego to visit Brittany. I anticipate a boring visit but Brittany comes out of this looking really cool to me. She’s really thoughtful, her friends seem cool and her dad is a nice guy. These are the conclusions that I’ve made based on 90 seconds of footage, but I’m sure that I’m right.

And last is the visit that I’m dreading. Jersey Jay in Jersey. No one else in his family looks like Corey Haim. The dinner devolved rather quickly and I wonder if this is a regular occurrence with Mom and Step Mom showing breasts and kissing. This family is so freaky, Tila could have shown her vagina and they would have called it cute. Tila must have magic musk pheromones to make everyone hit on her everywhere she goes.

Why would Jay suggest going in the hot tub? I can’t pick my mouth up from the floor watching this hot tub orgy. If I were filming this, I would have quit my job during dinner and my family would have to starve for my choice.

Everyone reconvenes at the mansion where I finally see the stupid gigantic purple bed that hasn’t been slept on since the third day. Brittany and Bo are worried because Jay’s family was wild and Tila might like that more than their normal visits – yeah, um, don’t worry. I can’t even imagine why Jay was proud of his visit. He’s totally going home.

Eliminations!

Kristy gets the first key, Bo gets the second and…

YES!!! Jay is GOING HOME!! Tila says that he’s not her type. Haaa.

Jay, give it up, you LOSER. Don’t even call Tila a ho. And you can call Bo a bitch all you want – you are going to go home to hold your limpness in your hand while you watch your moms make out and cry over your dumb tattoo. Bo is really way too cool to stoop to your level and acknowledge your bitch-assness.

Next episode: Cancun. I’m too angry at Jay to add any detail to this.

Oh hells to the no!

Not sure if you have heard or seen, but Gene Simmons is the next in a long line of celebrity sex-tape stars. The video, which I watched segments of, could be THE most awkward piece of video I have seen since Zack Efron started kissing girls on film.

I will set the scene for you (why? Because I’m evil like that):

Imagine some aspiring 20 year old blonde model wearing a bustier. Now, give her big sloppy boobs and have her wear the bustier incorrectly – ok…done. As for Gene, have him wear a t-shirt and jeans. Now, make his d**k shorter than his tongue, put his pants around his ankles and leave the t-shirt on. Alrighty, the characters are in place.

I am not a tiger in the sack by any stretch of the imagination, but if I were video taping it – I would put on a show. Gene and his little gene have come up with the most boring sexual escapade imaginable.

At certain points, I thought the dude was going to pass out from the minimal exertion he was doing. There are a couple of points where the young lady “performer” is on top, maneuvering herself so she is putting no weight on him at all. Look Gene, if a girl is going to give you the ego boost to jump in bed with you, the least you can do is let her rest some weight on your tired ass! I mean really, this poor chick was working at making this happen, and Grandpa Kiss was just there to watch.

The whole thing made me wonder – when will this whole sex tape fad end? At the very least, when can we get some A-listers to start joining in? When Brad and Angelina decide to make a tape, I will buy a ticket, popcorn and some sour patch kids because that will be a show. Two of the most beautiful people on the planet getting it on; I am in.

If you want to watch two no-names have sex, that’s easy enough to find on almost any website or porn shop, but if you are a D-list actor/actress grasping onto your obscurity – why in the hell would you go through the sex tape process?

(If you are still morbidly curious, you can check out the Gene Simmons Sex Tape here- Caution NSFW)