I met him my first night of college. Although not the fairytale every girl imagines, we hit it off in the basement of a fraternity house. It was a passionate, whirlwind love affair that lasted about a month. Long story short, we don’t speak any more. I took it as a learning experience about relationships and the healing process was not easy.

It was an early morning over winter break when I got the call from my gynecologist. I was expecting the phone call and was prepared for her to tell me that I was perfectly normal and she’ll see me in a year for a checkup. She was reading through the list of diseases saying they all came back negative, until she said, “But, your HPV test came back positive. You have what’s called high risk HPV.” I couldn’t think of anything other than getting out of hearing range of everybody in the house. So, I ran into the kitchen and asked, “What do I do now?” She seemed so calm about the whole situation and just insisted that I make sure to come back in three months for a follow-up appointment, and to call her if I had any questions.

As I hung up the phone my whole first semester flashed through my mind. My birthday, Halloween, my best friends’ birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas… I had this disease the entire time. The girl down the hall had supposedly reached the double digit mark for people she had slept with, and I had only been with one person the whole semester. I kept thinking, “Why me?”  But, I already knew the answer. The girl down the hall probably used a condom every time. I remembered all those times when I brushed off the need for a condom because I was on birth control. An 18-year-old would never be able to get an STD, I told myself, especially when she only chooses to have sex with the “good” guys. But, it happened and I realized that I was not invincible, like I thought I was.

Let’s face it: we all make stupid decisions. Like choosing a fifth over a review session, or bringing that guy home…who stole our iPod in the morning. That’s part of college life… and a big part of what makes it so memorable. But there are some choices that have longer lasting repercussions; things we do now that will haunt us later.

So here are the 11 things from your 20’s you will most definitely regret when you’re 40.

11. Risque Internet Photos: What’s the point of having technology if you can’t use it to send a naughty pre-shower photo to your BF? Nothing will turn him on quite like a naked photo popping up in his inbox while he’s brushing up on his Stats knowledge. You trust him, so what’s the worst that could happen? How about a break up? Or the “forward” button? No matter what you think, those photos are going to come back and bite you in the (naked-with-a-spot-of-cellulite) ass. Just show him the real thing and let him turn to his imagination (or internet porn) for a mid-class pick me up.

10. Trendy Tats: You totally love butterflies/stars/unicorns now, but I can bet money that you won’t want them plastered on the top of your foot or your lower back forever. No one wants to see a mom with a rose tattoo on her left shoulder, so think before you ink.

9. Choosing guys over your girls: You get caught up in your relationship sometimes and blow off the girls. Fine, we get it. But when sometimes turns into “What the hell ever happened to Mary?” there is a problem. Especially when Mr. Douche Bag finally breaks up with you and you come crawling back to the girls with a tub of Edy’s and a box of tissues and they aren’t there to wipe the snot from your cheek. Do you really want to spend the rest of your days holed up in a dirty apartment watching your man play Rock Band and chug Natty Light? Learn the balance, honey.

8. Getting married too young: I’ve seen it too many times – people graduate, freak out and hold onto whatever they can of their youth. And they get married.  And become super lame married people. It may be pure bliss now (and lots and lots of kitchen-ware), but just think about all the awesome stuff you will miss by being tied down in your twenties, all that freedom: to travel when you want, to take a job wherever you want, to sleep with whomever you want, to party as late as you want, to discover yourself, to sleep with whomever you want…. Plus, do you really want pictures of your friends doing keg stands in your wedding album? I thought not.

7. Smoking: Mmmm tobacco. It feels so good when it hits (and consequently blackens) your lungs. Especially after you’ve had a few Rum and Diets. And you look so cool doing it. But you know what doesn’t feel good? Chemo. And you know what doesn’t look cool? Your wrinkley face or your kids stealing the pack from your tobacco stained purse and trying it for the first time. When they are 6. This sh*t will kill you, so stop it. Right now! Seriously, put down that Marlboro Light, sister.

6. Not traveling enough: Trust me on this one – you will never have the time, money or freedom to travel like you do now.  Pretty soon you’ll be working late nights and counting down the minutes until the that will be chock full of grocery runs and Bed, Bath and Beyond trips. Try finding time in that busy schedule to jet-set to Europe and “find yourself.” Pack your bags and see the world now, before you’re too old to experiment with drugs in Amsterdam and enjoy a ping pong show in Bangkok.  Pick up a travel book and start planning!

5. Bad Credit: You can’t live without that Coach bag right now. You just have to have that DVF dress for the date party. Everyone else has an iPhone and you want one too. You’ll just charge it and worry about it later, right? Wrong, bitches. Ruining your credit now on stupid stuff (yes, I am telling you that bag is a stupid investment) will totally eff things up for you in the future. Things like getting a house, a car, a boyfriend (bad credit is a total turn-off) and sometimes even a job. Spend wisely, ladies. That bag is going to be out of style in .25 seconds anyway.

4. Not finishing school: Do we really even need to mention this one? Could you think of anything you’d regret more when you are 40 and working the checkout lane at your neighborhood Wal-mart? That is, assuming, you can even get that job in this economy.

3. Pre-vacation tanning: You tell yourself that you just want to get a base tan before Spring Break in Cabo. Sure, you will look fiiiine in that white shift dress for the 6 days after you return, but that wrinkley, skin cancer-ed mess is not going to look so hot when you’re 40 and you look like a Sharpei.

2. Stilettos: Part of becoming a woman is rockin’ the hottest pair of the highest heels. They make your legs look sick (that’s a good thing), make the men beg, and your jeans are too long to wear with anything lower. Why wouldn’t you wear them? I’ve got one hyphenated word for you: hammer-toes. You want to spend the later part of your life looking at that in a sandal?  Make your Feet Happy with these ultra comfy and cute socks..

(Editor’s note: I was going to put a picture of a gross foot here, but you Google “gross feet in sandals” and tell me how it makes you feel.)

1. “It feels better without condoms” sex: You’ll probably regret this one right off the bat as you spend your senior year chasing a kid around the dorms, but you’ll seriously regret it later when you look back at your life and realize how much you missed out on because you were busy changing diapers and bouncing a kid on your knee. Oh, and no one likes a woman with a bumpy vagina. I’m just sayin’; those genital warts will never go away.

Q: I am 23-years-old and have been with my boyfriend for 6 years. I got the Gardasil shot last year and my paps have been fine until I got my last Gardasil shot. The doctor told me my pap was abnormal a couple months after my 3rd shot. Was the shot what caused the adnormal pap? The other doctor took a look and did not find anything so she did not do a biospy.

I went back 8 months later and she found a small wart and removed it. I do not know what to do or how to feel? Should I worry now that I have HPV? Should I stop having sex? My boyfriend has not had any problem and I heard that they can not be tested anyway. What can I do to prevent getting warts? Sorry to ask, but we have been having oral sex as well does that mean we both have it in our mouth? I just do not understand what I did wrong. I have been on birth control as well. PLEASE HELP… I only been having sex with one person for 6 years but I feel so helpless.

A: I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with an abnormal Pap smear and HPV. But believe me- you’re not alone. Up to 80% of us will contract HPV at some point in our life, and HPV vaccination isn’t perfect. Gardasil only guards against the four most common strains of HPV, but there are many more.

No, the vaccine didn’t give you HPV or cause your abnormal Pap smear. It doesn’t work that way. It may simply have been given too late.  You may have contracted HPV before you received the full series of vaccinations and the virus is just wreaking havoc now. There’s no way to know whether you already had HPV or whether you just caught it, but it’s a strain the vaccine doesn’t cover.

As for how you feel, feel whatever it is you genuinely feel. Don’t beat yourself up about it. You’re one of many who deals with this every day. But I certainly understand if you feel embarrassed, ashamed, betrayed, or bummed out.  Contracting a sexually transmitted infection has a way of making you feel about two inches tall. (I know. I caught HPV too. It can happen to anyone.)

Should you stop having sex? That’s a personal decision. It’s entirely possible that your boyfriend gave you the HPV in the first place since you’ve only had sex with one person. When I was diagnosed with an abnormal Pap smear for the first time and told the guy who is now my husband, he said, “That’s so weird! All of my girlfriends have had abnormal Pap smear.” Duh, dude. It’s you! So your guy probably already has it and most likely gave it to you.

You certainly should tell him about your diagnosis. And condoms can help protect you from transmitting it if you wind up in future relationships. But even condoms aren’t perfect, since infectious vulvar skin can still touch exposed scrotal or perineal skin, putting you at risk. To some degree, you just have to do the best you can and surrender the rest to the Universe.

Can it cause oral warts? Yes. Very rarely, HPV can cause warts on the larynx, but these are extremely uncommon.

Remember, you did nothing wrong, sweetie. You got the vaccination, have been careful to select a partner, and care enough to ask these questions. You should be proud of yourself for being so aware, so conscientious, and so health-conscious. I’m sorry you’re in this situation and I understand that you feel helpless, but I know you’re going to be okay.

Find out more about HPV here.

Wishing you peace and health,
Dr. Lissa

- Dr. Lissa Rankin’s book, What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend, will be published by St. Martin’s Press in Fall 2010. She invites you to join her Pink online community (www.owningpink.com/forum) or read more of her writing at Owning Pink (www.owningpink.com).

Got a health question? Don’t trust those “Doctors” at the University Health Center? Are you scared of Web M.D. because it always tells you you’re gonna die? Ask a real doctor, like our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin. She’s here every Thursday to answer whatever you throw at her – like post-sex soreness – so ask away. Leave your question in the comments or send it over to us. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: I found out that I have HPV. So, having sex with my boyfriend, does that mean he has HPV too? And if either of us perform oral sex – can the warts then be transferred to our mouths? Will this lead to cancer? On the paper I got back from the doctor it said to come back in 12 months for another pap smear; will it get worse by then? I’m nervous.

A: HPV can be a sneaky bastard. Unlike sexually transmitted infections like gonorrhea and chlamydia, HPV can hang around, unexpressed and asymptomatic, then suddenly rear its ugly head with little warning. Chances are that your partner also has HPV. In fact, chances are good that your boyfriend gave it to you. But it’s possible you could have contracted it from a prior partner and that he doesn’t have it. No way to know for certain, so the best strategy is to behave as if he doesn’t have it, just to protect him.

It’s unclear to me whether you have warts already or whether your HPV just came up on a pap smear. If it’s just a pap smear, chances are good that you carry the type of HPV that causes abnormal paps and cervical cancer, but not genital warts. The good news about this for your partner is that these strains of HPV tend to cause nothing in guys (which is why guys are passing it around like candy. They don’t even know they have it).

If you do have warts, you’ll want to be a bit more careful.  While condoms can help reduce the chance of transmitting warts, they can’t protect you completely. Because the condom only covers the shaft of the penis, it leaves vulnerable scrotal skin in contact with potentially infections coochie skin, so it’s important for him to realize that he may still wind up with warts.

As for oral sex, yes, laryngeal warts (warts in the larynx) have been reported. But they’re very rare. HPV tends to prefer the genitals and the anal area, so oral sex is relatively safe. If you want to be uber careful, you can use a dental dam to protect your boyfriend when he’s going down on you, and if you’re worried, have him wear a condom. (I know, it’s not sexy, but it is safe).

If your doc told you to wait a year to repeat your pap smear, I would wait a year. While abnormalities on paps can get worse, they change very slowly, and as long as you don’t miss a pap, you should be fine. Most of all, though, don’t worry. HPV is more of a nuisance than a life-threatening disease, as long as you listen to what your doctor recommends. I know it can be scary and embarrassing, but I commend you for trying to get the information straight. Take a deep breath. Now, let go of any anger, frustration, or shame you feel around this. And let it go. Stressing about HPV only makes it worse. You’ll be fine, sweetie.

For more about HPV, visit my website Owning Pink

- Dr. Lissa Rankin’s book, What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend, will be published by St. Martin’s Press in Fall 2010. She invites you to join her Pink online community (www.owningpink.com/forum) or read more of her writing at Owning Pink (www.owningpink.com).

We thought we’d help and every Thursday our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin will be answering your questions. The ones you couldn’t ask your doctor in person. Just leave your questions in the comments, or send em over to us. (We’ll keep it all anonymous for you.) Dr. Lissa will answer anything – really, anything – about sex and other lady things. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: I recently found out that I have HPV. I was so shocked and upset by the news that I couldn’t really think of anything to ask my doctor. So, I was wondering what I should do. This was the first time I’ve ever been tested, so do I have to tell every guy I’ve ever been with (even those I didn’t actually have sex with)? And do I have to tell all future partners?

A: First of all, I’m sorry you have Human PapillomaVirus (HPV). If it makes you feel any better, I have had it too. You didn’t say whether your HPV is the type that causes genital warts or abnormal pap smears (they tend to be different strains but may travel together). But I’d be happy to educate you about HPV in general, since you were too freaked out to ask your doc.

What is HPV?

HPV is the most common sexually transmitted disease, and it will infect 75% of young women before the age of 50, if they don’t get vaccinated.  What is HPV? It’s the virus that causes genital and anal warts, abnormal pap smears, and cervical cancer. How do you get it? Sex mostly, but even virgins can get it from skin to skin contact while fooling around. And condoms don’t necessarily protect you, since your labia can touch the skin around your partner’s genitals, even with a condom on. All it takes is intimate genital touching between you and your partner.

To make matters worse, the strains of HPV that tend to cause abnormal pap smears and cervical cancer don’t cause any problems in men. SO THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW THEY HAVE IT! Which means they’re passing it around from woman to woman, like a beach ball. You gotta wonder when the guy says, “Oh, that’s so weird. ALL my girlfriends have had abnormal pap smears.” Duh, dude. It’s you!

Even if you’re a virgin when you hook up with a guy, you can end up with HPV- even if he has only slept with one other girl. This is not a disease of freaks and hoochies. (If it is, then I’m one of those hoochies, since I got it from my husband.  Poor guy.  He feels bad.) Even if you’re really careful, you can still get it, and next thing you know, you’ve got genital warts and cervical cancer. To make matters worse, because HPV is a virus, there’s no real cure, the way there is for most bacteria.  Natural treatments aimed at supporting the immune system can help you clear the virus, but ultimately, you’re at the mercy of your immune system.  So if you get HPV, you may have it for years.

What Should You Tell Your Partners?

To keep your karma clean, it’s not a bad idea to tell your past and future sexual partners. Chances are, more than half of them have already been exposed, and one of them was the one who gave it to you.  Because many strains of HPV do not cause problems for the guy, he may not even know he has it. But technically, anyone who may have been infected by you should tell future sexual partners that they may carry HPV and may be able to transmit it. It gets very complicated, because your immune system may clear you of HPV forever at some point. So will you still be infectious five years from now? Probably not. But maybe. This is why it’s such a big problem. Some women seem to clear HPV, only to have it show up again when their immune system is suppressed, as it normally is during pregnancy.

So What Can You Do About It?

Not a whole lot. If you have access to an integrative medicine doctor or naturopath, they  may be able to help you with some herbs and supplements that can stimulate your natural immune response. But otherwise, it’s all about treating any problems the HPV causes. For example, warts can be frozen off or treated with acid or medication. Abnormal pap smears need follow up and sometimes treatment. But there’s no magic pill that can cure your HPV.

Okay, ladies, it’s time for a sneak peak behind closed exam-room doors. Outside, we are bombarded with the constant message that sex is all about fun, excitement, and personal empowerment – our bodies, our choice. Inside, however, we see a disconnect between these choices and unexpected consequences. People like “us”- whether that’s preppy Greeks, computer geeks, scholarship athletes, nurturing elementary ed majors, intense pre-law or pre-med majors, or any other student – these aren’t the kind of people who would be at risk of carrying a sexually transmitted disease, right?

WRONG!

As a private practice family physician located near a major university, I’m here to give you the REAL scoop about the STDs we diagnose every day, in women just like you.

The majority of my patients have had fewer sexual partners than they can count on one hand, and yet my colleagues and I diagnose genital herpes, chlamydia, and HPV (either obvious genital warts or abnormal Pap smears) like crazy! To be honest, one of the most common things we hear when we diagnose someone with genital herpes is “but there’s NO WAY I can have herpes, because I haven’t even had sex yet!” Of course, they’ve had oral sex, but they didn’t realize that cold sores = Herpes and cold sores in the mouth + genitals = Herpes down low.

Today’s statistics show that 1 in 5 Americans over the age of 12 have genital herpes (as determined by blood antibody testing), but only 10% are aware that they have it! HPV (the virus that causes genital warts and cervical cancer) is so common that it’s estimated that 50-75% of sexually active 15-59 year olds will become infected. Look around your next class and do the math to realize how many of your peers might share these diseases.

Chlamydia is silent in 50% of guys, and 75% of women – no wonder it gets passed around so easily! If you catch chlamydia (or gonorrhea) and it gets diagnosed EARLY, it is treated very simply with a short course of antibiotics for you and your partner. If, however, you bury your head in the sand and pretend that because you have no symptoms and you haven’t slept with anyone “yucky” that you’re not at risk, (and therefore, conveniently choose not to be tested), both chlamydia and gonorrhea can sit around and silently scar your reproductive tract potentially leaving you infertile down the road. While I’m sure most of you have no desire to be pregnant now, I’d bet most of you would like to have that option in the future.

So, take a good look in the mirror and ask that wonderful woman staring back at you, “Have you had ANY sexual partners (including oral, anal, or vaginal) since you were last tested?” If the answer is YES, go schedule an appointment to get checked out. This is not about being “good” or “bad,” and no medical provider is there to judge you. Trust me, you’ve done nothing any experienced doctor hasn’t heard or seen before, and our goal is simply to maximize your health, both now and for the future.

Don’t lie to yourself or hide from the truth. The best way to protect your body and future health is to get up and find out the truth. Stop worrying about sitting on public toilet seats and start realizing where the real risks for STDs are lurking!

For more information and STD facts, check out JillGrimesMD.com. If you’ve had enough dry facts in your statistics class and are looking for a more engaging way to learn, grab Jill’s book, Seductive Delusions: How Everyday People Catch STDs, which reads like episodes of Grey’s Anatomy and highlights accurate facts throughout the dialogue.

Then I found out that two of the eight girls living in my house (25%) had contracted an STD. These two girls weren’t promscuous – one was a virgin! – and the other was always safe. And that was when I realized just how serious STDs were for all women on college campuses.

The problem with STDs is that people don’t talk about them. We all think that by practicing safe sex – using a condom – we are safe from everything and because we have this false sense of safety, many of us never get tested. And that is why 1 in 4 college students currently have an STD.

April is STD Awareness Month and in conjuction with that, we at CollegeCandy decided to stop regular posting and turn today into STD Awareness Day. We have teamed with with many experts in the field – doctors, nurses, STD specialists, etc. – to bring you the information you need to protect yourself and start a necessary dialogue on a serious issue.

We urge you to learn a little bit and make an appointment to get tested!

Below are some pretty serious and scary facts about STDs that we never knew. Chances are, you don’t know about them either and that is dangerous. Knowledge is power and when it comes to STDs, it is the power to protect youself:

• Sexually transmitted diseases are among the most common infectious diseases in the U.S. today, especially among our youth. The CDC estimates there are approximately 19 million new cases of STDs each year, almost half of them among young people ages 15 to 24.

• Women are 6-7 times more likely to acquire Herpes than men are.

• Over 80% of women will be exposed to HPV.

• Many women have STDs without ever knowing it — 70% of women with chlamydia and up to 50% with gonorrhea never get symptoms.

• It’s possible to get infected, recover, and never find out, but even these invisible infections could cause infertility: about 30 to 40% of women with untreated chlamydia get pelvic inflammatory disease which sometimes causes fertility issues later in life.

• A person who has never had a symptom can have an STD, and is therefore still able to transmit STDs.

• Younger people are more vulnerable to chlamydia and HPV (the two most common STDs in the US) than older people.

• 20% of all Americans over age 12 test positive for genital herpes virus in their blood.

• Women who have sex with women are at risk for many of the same STDs as women who have sex with men. Women may transmit bacterial and parasitic infections of the vagina to other women and there is also evidence of HIV transmission. In theory, women who have sex with women may also transmit HPV and may transmit oral herpes to the genitals.

• Even if you’ve been tested for STDs and told you’re disease-free, you may still be at risk: STD testing practices vary by doctor, and doctors often choose which STDs to test for based on the patient’s sexual history. Therefore, it’s important to be honest with your doctor when getting tested.

• CDC estimates that there are approximately 2.8 million new cases of chlamydia in the United States each year, and more than half of new cases remain undiagnosed and unreported.

• Most syphilis cases occur in persons 20 to 39 years of age.  In 2006, The incidence of syphilis was highest in women 20 to 24 years of age and in men 35 to 39 years of age.

• Having syphilis (or most other curable STDs) once does not protect a person from getting it again. Following successful treatment, people can still be susceptible to re-infection.

• Gonorrhea can spread to the blood or joints. This condition can be life threatening.

• Having nearly any STD can increase your risk of contracting HIV.

• Most people get genital herpes by having sex (or merely contact) with someone who is shedding the herpes virus, either during an outbreak or during a period with no symptoms. People who do not know they have herpes play an important role in transmission.

• More than 100 different types of HPV exist, most of which are harmless. About 30 types are spread through sexual contact and are classified as either low risk or high risk.

• Symptoms to STDs, such as the genital warts associated with HPV, may appear within several weeks after sexual relations with an infected person, take months to appear, or they may never appear. This makes it hard to know exactly when or from whom you got the virus.

I am one of the many college girls that sees no problem in being young and enjoying a little (or a lot) sex every once in a while. But as thousands of college freshmen are planning on partaking in some type of sexual activity once arriving on campus, many of them will forget about the most important thing: being safe.

On a recent outing with some girlfriends, we encountered a group of men on a street corner belting out bible verses and holding large signs displaying all the things God supposedly hates (pre-marital sex, homosexuality, drunkeness and so on). As one of the men saw us walking by, he stopped mid-verse, turned to us and said “Did you know that 1 in 4 teen girls will catch in STD?” We all looked at him in disgust and walked away (the nerve!), but secretly I wanted to hang my head in shame, because I was the one girl he was referring to.

Before I left for college I never really thought much about hooking up in college. I had just broken up with my high school sweetheart and had no interest in seeing any other boys. I just laughed as my mother handed me a box of generic condoms, told me to be safe and kissed me goodbye.

Things started out pretty normal at school, until one night. I was in the middle of a pretty intense hookup with Derrick*, a laid back fellow freshman who was the complete polar opposite of my arrogant and popular ex. A friend of a friend, we constantly found ourselves at the same parties and happened to find ourselves alone one night. After some chatting and a couple of beers we decided to go back to his place. He was great in bed and had no problem with wearing a condom, except for oral sex.

So we continued to hook up on a regular basis. And everything was fine, until I visited my gyno during Winter Break only to find out that I had contracted HPV.

I was so hurt, ashamed and angry that I couldn’t bring myself to cry. When I called to Derrick to inform him, he told me that he was fine (many guys assume this since many of them don’t show symptoms) and that I was just another dirty slut. I felt depressed all the time and even thought about suicide; I felt that I didn’t deserve to live any more because I made such a stupid mistake and had became just another teen statistic, something I told myself would never happen.

After keeping my situation to myself for so long, I finally had to courage to tell my best friend what happened. Between comforting me and quieting my sobs, she told me that 1. My life wasn’t over and 2. If I just took care of myself I would be fine.

Today I’m doing somewhat better. I’ve been eating healthy and exercising to regulate my immune system, but I’m still coping with the fact I’ll have to live with the virus forever, unless someone miraculously finds a cure. Months after my diagnosis I find it very difficult to approach guys. I’m not sure how or if I will tell a guy about it, should we decide to have sex. I constantly find myself wondering how I could have gotten this, despite my efforts to be safe. I try to live my life like a normal teen, but every time I think about sex my HPV status stays in my head as a constant reminder.

So go ahead and call me every demoralizing name possible, but your harsh words are nothing compared to the numerous mental beatings I’ve put myself through. I hope that every fellow girl reading this will realize that you are not invincible, and that by not protecting yourself my story could easily be yours. So please , wear a condom every time you have sex (including oral and anal) and don’t be afraid to talk to you doctor about getting tested for STDs every couple of months. It’s important to truly consider who you want to have sex with, since HPV can be transmitted, even with the use a of condom.

(For more info on HPV/Genital Warts click here)

A: Don’t get yourself too worked up over it, but yes, you should get tested. Really, you should get tested after every new sexual partner (yes, oral sex counts). I’ll preface this by saying that I’m not a doctor–which is especially why you should see one–but I do strongly urge you to go get tested, for your health and more so, your peace of mind.

The greater the quantity of infected semen you’re exposed to, the greater the chances are that you may have something–of course, that’s assuming in the first place that the guy even has an STD. Since he didn’t ejaculate, you were at most, only exposed to pre-cum–so yes, it’s technically possible you caught something if he was infected, but the risk is low.

For something like HIV or hepatitis B, which is passed through the bloodstream, you would have to have had abrasions or cuts in your mouth (from a dental visit or biting your tongue, for example.) The same isn’t true for genital warts or herpes, which can spread through contact with the lesion. Even if you inspected his package with a microscope before going downtown, and you’re sure you didn’t see anything suspicious, remember that it’s still possible (but not super likely) to catch something even if there is no active, visible outbreak.

Haven’t convinced you yet? Let’s put it this way–even if you do end up testing positive, it’s not a death sentence. But not getting tested at all can be. We all know how HIV ends, but there are other STDs, like HPV and clamydia (both of which often have no symptoms at all), which if left untreated, can lead to cervical cancer or infertility. I’m assuming you plan on having sex at some point again the in the future. Something like chlamydia can be easily treated, but if you don’ t know you have it, you’ll just end up passing it back and forth with your partner, until it may be too late.

The purpose of all that was not to scare you, but I think having the facts reminds us how easy it is to spread infections to others, and how important it is to use protection and get tested regularly. So make an appointment and get tested–when it comes to your health, ignorance is not bliss.