How many times a week a day do you Google yourself? An embarrassing amount, right? Almost as embarrassing as the amount of time I spend diagnosing myself with fatal diseases on WebMD. But when we’re not googling our own name and Facebook stalking our frenemies, we’re googling (and ogling) guys. Like, a lot. So we wanted to do a totally scientific study (please note that we did this research while also doing research on the effects of Four Loko on a professional work day) on the most googled guys on the internet. And we were SHOCKED by the results. Like apparently no one else is as into Barry Manilow as I am. But a lot of people are really into Ne-Yo. Who knew?! Now you do!

You are only a few hours away from a three day holiday weekend, ladies! Can I get a “what what”?! Memorial Day Weekend is the official kick-off to summer, which means only one thing: it’s time to get a bikini wax the inevitable family BBQ.

Truth: You love hot dogs off the grill.
Truth: Your family is ridiculous and you’d much rather spend the time with people who don’t make inappropriate jokes about hot dogs. Or at least people who make funny inappropriate jokes about hot dogs. And are under the age of 65.
Solution: CollegeCandy’s Memorial Day Family BBQ Drinking Game

Because Great Uncle Bert’s war stories (a war which he was not in) are easier to listen to when you’ve got Bud Light coursing through your veins. The best part? You can play alone and, being that you leave the BBQ with a killer buzz, you always end up the winner.

What you will need:
A case of domestic beer (we’re celebrating America, aren’t we?)
Various other alcoholic beverages
Your drinking hat

Let’s Play:
- Chug your first beer if you are the only single person there (over the age of 16)/chug your first beer if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, but they are playing this game at their own family BBQ

- Take a shot every time someone asks you if you are dating someone.

- Take another if they don’t at least feign surprise when you say you are not.

- Take a double shot every time someone asks what you’re studying and/or what you plan to do now that you’ve graduated.

- Mix and drink a screwdriver every time your mother nags about your lack of job or job prospects (“What are you going to do with a Communications degree!?”). You’re screwed in this market, anyway.

- Take a Kamikaze shot every time grandpa mentions his time in WW2.

- Pour one for our fallen heroes if anyone even mentions the real purpose of Memorial Day.

- Bring out the beer bong if someone starts talking about ‘Ole Dubya (George W. Bush), John McCain or the “glory days before Obama.”

- Take a drink every time someone says something that could be taken sexually and someone immature (i.e. you) giggles/responds with “that’s what she said.”

- Have a shot of whiskey every time your father/uncle/grandfather/brother almost burns off their eyebrows or arm hair with the grill.

- Take a sip every time your father/uncle/grandfather/brother talks about how he is the master of the grill and no one can grill up meat like him.

- Assign three drinks to anyone who says they are on a diet and only want salad.

- Put down your drink and start crying if someone comments on how much you are eating/how you should be on a diet.

- Polish off whatever is open and not finished if grandma/some other woman in your family leaves a big, wet lipstick print on your cheek when she says goodbye.

By the end of the night, your family should be bearable and your legs should feel like Jell-0. A Memorial Day BBQ victory!

[Photo courtesy of jfizz 79 on Flickr. Thanks!]

In other depressing news, mail delivery may get cut back to 5 days a week.

Lookalike couples: cute or totally creepy?

Jessica Simpson may be smarter than we thought…

I don’t know weather to lay in this bed or take a bite out of the side.

Bowling Green basketball doesn’t let a little snow get in their way.

Joaquin Phoenix really needs to shave that beard and go away. But really – shave the beard, man.

This may actually make me want to do some Yoga. 

Is George Bush afraid of feminists?

Lady Gaga officially ruined. Thanks, Paris!

Laundry at OSU costs 120 calories…

I know you’re just moments away from being inaugurated, but in my opinion, the Bush era has been dead for awhile now, and you have been the prez since the results were announced. I figured out how to fill out an absentee ballot for you, Mr. Obama, and I can’t even handle bills that come in paper statements, so that’s saying something. The day you were elected, Mr. Obama, my roommate and I screamed and jumped up and down on our futon like we’d just watched a really hot episode of Gossip Girl. One of my friends from the bloody United Kingdom texted me to congratulate me on our country’s finally making a good decision, even though it was about 4 a.m. in his time zone.

There’s a lot riding on your presidency, Mr. Obama, and while I have enough faith in you to fill out that freaking absentee ballot, I would also like to give you some tips, so you take the same downtrodden path that so many of our past leaders have taken.

Please do not raise federal liquor taxes in an attempt to cover the costs of war, a la Ulysses S. Grant. We poor college students cannot afford to pay more than state sales tax and the $.05 deposit per can on our Natty Lights. If you do feel a need to hike up the taxes, please don’t make it worse by accepting bribes from distillers to receive tax stamps at a fraction of the cost, because that’s just plain mean. Do feel free to sponsor a National Holiday where school and work is cancelled so we may get over our hangovers, however.

Gas prices have finally dropped after an excruciating few months of paying over $3 or $4 per gallon to fill our tanks.  Please do not transfer oil responsibilities to corrupt secretaries, who will exploit this power for their own gain.  Ask ex-prez Warren Harding how Teapot Dome turned out. Oh, wait; he died before he could be convicted.  Mr. Obama, you’re in your prime, so chances are, you’re going to have to sit through any investigations that might come your way.

If all goes well during your stint in the White House, Mr. Obama, please don’t resort to wiretapping, burglary, and trespassing in an effort to be re-elected when 2012 rolls around.  We really don’t need Kirsten Dunst to make another film routed in political satire.

While you are working in the Oval Office, Mr. Obama, please keep your relationships with your coworkers, and especially interns, strictly professional.  And don’t mingle with the ho’s, either.  Hell, your wife Michelle is beautiful, and your girls are totally adorable.  So there’s no reason to be shacking up with Obama Girl. These days, the media is always looking to exploit an irrational decision – always remember that.

Please, Mr. Obama, hire an educated speech reader, and then practice your speeches.  I want books to be written about how great you are, rather than seeing compilations of the stupid sh*t you’ve said on sale at Amazon. If you meet a single mother of three, please don’t tell her, “You work three jobs? … Uniquely American, isn’t it? I mean, that is fantastic that you’re doing that.“  And please don’t address our current economic crisis as thus: “So I analyzed that and decided I didn’t want to be the president during a depression greater than the Great Depression, or the beginning of a depression greater than the Great Depression.“  

Mr. Obama, to be frank, I wouldn’t have the balls to step in right now and try to fix our country.  But we’re counting on you.  So, if you could refrain from making some of the errors of our forefathers, that would be great.  And if you have some spare time, if you could fix the economy, pull our troops out of Iraq, legalize same sex marriage, and be such a good president that you are remembered as a great president, rather than simply the first black president (because really, I would vote for a Fuchsia leader he or she would turn the USA back around), I would be most grateful, and would probably take the time to fill out yet another absentee ballot in four years.

Thank you for your time, and welcome to the friggin’ White House!

As millions flock to Washington for the inauguration, many of us prefer (or were forced) to stay at home and not be part of the mad rush of people that will surely cause all of the highways around D.C. and the surrounding states to be jam-packed with people and cars (I’ve had enough with the crowding during the Olympics to last a lifetime). But just because you’re not on the scene doesn’t mean you can’t be with the scene!

There are plenty of other people around who didn’t make the trek to D.C., so have a party! It may be last minute, but there is still plenty of time to gather your friends and a little patriotism together for a killer Proud to be An American bash.

Here are some fun ways for you to celebrate being in American – red, white, and blue style.

Decorate: Now is the perfect time to whip out your old Fourth of July gear and host the best inauguration-watching party ever! Turn your living room into an American flag: blow up balloons, hang  flags on the wall, spread a red tablecloth and set out little blue napkins.

Costumes: Aren’t costume parties the best? Encourage your guests to dress up as their favorite political figure and award to the best-dressed and best-impersonation (cigar, anyone?) with an American favorite: a 30 pack of cheap beer.

FOOD! You can take the easy route with some red, white and blue foods, like watermelon, blueberries and cottage cheese, or you can whip up something patriotic:

• Name foods after fun themes such as “Campaign Trail Mix,” “Sloppy Joe Bidens,” “Barack of Ribs,” “Chicken Right Wings,” or, my personal favorite, “Lipstick Pigs In A Blanket.”
• Make some RW&B Popsicles. Just get any type of juice in all three colors (I like using kool-aid) and some dixie cups and popsicle sticks. Pour the red juice into each cup to about 1/3 full, then freeze until it’s almost frozen but still a little slushy. Insert a popsicle stick into the middle, then pour the white juice in until it’s 2/3 full. Freeze it again, then add the blue juice. Freeze one more time, peel the cups off, and – voila! – patriotism on a stick.
• Want to be more like Obama? Make chili, one of his favorite foods!

Play Some Games: Baseball isn’t called America’s pastime for nothing. Go outside (bundled in scarves and thick jackets, I hope) and toss a few around. I’m sure you could figure out a way to turn that into a drinking game. If baseball isn’t your thing, go shoot some hoops. Instead of playing Horse, though, make it a game of Donkey. Or Obama. Or See Ya Later, Bush! Or, if it’s too cold out, just play a game of  Obama Speech Bingo. Our bet’s on the word “change” getting the most chips.

American Karaoke: Sure, karaoke is usually reserved for Meatloaf and The Outfield, but this is a God Bless America party! Break out the old American faves like Yankee Doodle and God Bless America. Beyonce may have had to perform in front of billions of people, including the president, but you just have to sing in front of your friends, so belt it out shamelessly.

Watch a Movie: Throw in an old American action flick, like The Patriot, Saving Private Ryan, or Black Hawk Down. (Because nothing says I Love America quite like Josh Hartnett. Mmmm.) Or, if you want laughter instead of tears, watch some hilarious youtube videos of past presidents. Shoes not included.

Be proud and celebrate being an American on this great day in U.S. history. You betcha I sure am.

The Inauguration of our 44th president is on tomorrow, and frankly I can’t remember anyone ever really caring about this ceremonial aspect of an election. Until this year.

And, wow, do they care.

D.C is “poppin’ off,” as the kids say. People have been partying all week, and will continue all week. What seems like the entire world is flocking to DC and my campus is on security lock-down, since GW is only 4 blocks from the White House. A huge, free concert with everyone from Bruce Springsteen to Beyonce to Bono was held on the National Mall on yesterday to celebrate. There are legit balls, as in Cinderella balls, to honor this man. Even the Metro tickets have Obama on them. Signs, posters, and more port-o-potties than you can fathom are popping up all over the city. This is big.

It is all strangely reminiscent of the scene in the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy accidentally crushes the Wicked Witch with her house, and all the little munchkins are crazy happy. Ding, Dong, the witch is dead Bush is gone!

As much as I like partying (and Bruce Springsteen!), as much as I want to see Bush retreat to Crawford and stay there forever, this event is really about Obama. Not too long ago, only about 40 years back, Martin Luther King Jr. spoke to a sea of people (down the street from my dorm building!) about a dream he had, in which his children would be judged “not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” This was a time, as we all know, when a black person was given less rights than a white person. A black person would not be allowed to eat in certain segregated restaurants, let alone become the leader of the free world. And just one hundred years before that, that same person would not have even had freedom. I know these are heavy issues, but it is so amazing that Dr. King’s prophecy has literally fulfilled itself in the same city of his famous dream’s inception.

Whether or not you voted for Obama (or own multiple Obama tees from Urban, like me), you can appreciate that this year America did something absolutely incredible. People with a belief, a cause and a whole lot of hope, rallied behind a single man and accomplished something I honestly did not think could happen.

During this Inauguration time, I encourage you to celebrate and party hard or whatever, because this is a great time to be an American, but also take this day to seriously reflect on the nation in which you live and what it is capable of. I am proud, and I think it is safe to assume Martin Luther King Junior would agree.

I had cold pizza for lunch. Alone. Barack Obama’s lunch was a little more exciting.

What does Brad Pitt have to say about Jennifer?

Uh oh. Another Salmonella outbreak…

Why do we love the bad boys?

Obama chooses Chief Performance Officer.

Biggest Loser Michelle is engaged. What? He didn’t love her before she lost all the weight?

Lily Vanderwoodson (Ok, Kelly Rutherford) is headed to Splitsville.

Better get the Nair ready – short shorts are coming!

Isla Fisher looking fantastic on cover of In Style.

Howard Stern vs. Jay Leno: The Battle is On.

Well, after that killer hangover from last night subsides.

We at CollegeCandy are psyched for the new year. We can’t wait for our favorite TV shows to come back (seriously, we have had nothing to watch for weeks!), and are super psyched to get started on all those resolutions we made. Except the ones we made late last night when we were huddled over the toilet watching our dinner come back up. Who else would resolve to give up drinking in 2009?

Anyways, we think 2009 is going to be a great year. New president, new fashion trends (down with fringe!) and new relationships are coming and we are super pumped to see what the year brings. Especially if 2009 is the year we finally get a better remedy for this pounding headache.

What are you most excited for in 2009?

Condoleezza Rice wants us to thank President Bush.

Tracy Morgan and Oprah having a baby?

This is the most disturbing facial hair I’ve ever seen.

Pete Wentz has a white Christmas.

Christmas then and now.

Umbrellas aren’t just for rainy days anymore.

Hot new accessories available NOW at Target!

Simon Cowell and Marie Osmond?

The City premieres tonight! Wahoooo!

Cutest family ever.

Where did he go? Where has he been since the entire economy started collapsing?

I know! I forgot about him too. Well, he finally made an appearance outside the White House over the weekend and boy did everyone miss him! So much so that they gave him an extra warm welcome at a press conference in Iraq. Throwing shoes at someone’s head is a warm welcome, isn’t it?

Good thing Georgie has some quick reflexes. And that it wasn’t a woman lobbing a stiletto at his face. Poor guy never would have had a chance.