"I'm 22, dammit!"

I look very young for my age. If scientists took a lunch break from developing anti-aging creams and instead studied my delayed aging process they could figure out how to make everyone look eleven years younger (I had to one-up the TLC show).

When I tell people I just graduated from school they automatically assume middle school and tell me that I’ll  grow out of my awkward teen years soon. And when they find out that I’m actually 22 they reassure me that once I’m older I’ll appreciate looking younger. Like, great, when I’m 78 I’ll look 75. I’ll really impress all the men then; they’ll be wetting their Depends just to get with a young broad like me.

Throughout this whole summer I’ve tried to casually walk into bars only to be stopped by massive bouncers looking for an ID. They stare at them for hours trying to figure out how I got such a good fake and if I had to sneak out of my house to be there. They always reluctantly hand it back to me as if it ruined their night that I’m actually of age. By the time the bouncers are done scanning my ID for all possible forgeries, my friends are six pitchers deep and I’m shamed into actually feeling like I used a fake.

It’s like some sick joke that I’m technically too old to go back to college yet I don’t look old enough to be out without parental supervision. Read More »

I’ve learned a lot about myself in these months since I’ve graduated. Most importantly I’ve learned that I have severe and occasionally life-threatening problem with jealously. I like my friends, some more than others, and I want them to do well. However I don’t want them to do well until I’m doing well. That’s fair, right?

It takes enormous amounts of effort for me to congratulate a friend upon hearing they got a job. Literally, I have to type one letter at a time while I suffer from a self-induced panic attack. I practically have to have Xanax on hand 24/7 in case I get one of those excited voice mails (I no longer answer the phone, too risky having to fake enthusiasm) telling me that someone got offered a job. Read More »

So your beer guzzling, frat hopping days are over. And to top it off, you moved back home to live with your parents cuz there are no jobs out there in the big, bad, real world these days, right?

Wrong!

There are. You might just not be looking in the right places. And no, we aren’t saying you have to be flippin’ burgers at Micky D’s or prostituting yourself on a corner somewhere (really, not recommended). We’re talking about good jobs with even greater benefits. And we know for a fact (from some savvy internet research) that these places are looking for a few new hires!

Starbucks
Not only will you get a free pound of coffee to take home weekly (that’s enough to get me filling out an application) but working 20 hours a week guarantees you comprehensive health coverage, access to a 401(k) plan and a chance to buy company stock at a discount.

But wait, there’s more: After only a year of working, you can also qualify for tuition reimbursement AND a paid vacation. Pretty sweet, huh? You can earn up to a 12% merit increase within the first year of working if you become one baller barista! And with 11,466 U.S. locations, you wont have trouble finding a place nearby to get started. Read More »

Yesterday we published this story about some high-profile individuals who lost their jobs because of some unruly Facebook activity. If you’re thinking to yourself, “uh-oh, I love partying and taking pictures to post on Facebook, but I kind of want to have a job one day,” relax. You can have your cake and eat it, too.  Just make sure you’re utilizing all the appropriate privacy settings.  There are several steps to take to ensure your safety online, so just follow these tips!

1. Make all of your photos “Friends Only”

Tempting as it may be to leave photos up, it’s much safer to make them “Friends Only.” That way you know for certain who has access to your pictures. To do this, go here and under the option “Photos tagged of you,” click the drop-down menu and select “Only Friends.” Read More »