"Dude, I have a 4.0 at Cannabis College"

If you’re like me, chances are you glanced at your calendar today and then did a double take, thinking, “It’s been December for a whole week? How the hell did that happen?” For every student, the pressure is on: finals are fast approaching, and we’ve all got about a million pages to read and two million more to write before we can reach the holy grail of winter break.

All that stress is enough to make a girl want to scream. But if you went to Med Grow Cannabis College, chances are that right about now, you’d be feeling a lot more mellow.

Yes, that’s right: Med Grow Cannabis College. As this article helpfully explains, at MGCC, “marijuana is the curriculum: the history, the horticulture and the legal how-to’s of Michigan’s new medical marijuana program.”

See, the Wolverines’ home state recently legalized medicinal pot, and now 24-year-old Nick Tennant has started a thriving business that teaches wannabe Nancy Botwins how to plant and nurture their very own strain of Mary Jane. Class time can also include a crash course in baking with weed (recipes include “crockpot cannabutter, chocolate canna-ganache and greenies (the cannabis alternative to brownies)”).

Okay, so MGCC isn’t really a school—it’s a six-week program that costs $485 to complete rather than a two- or four-year-long process that ends in a BA. But can you imagine what it would be like if Cannabis College was an actual institute of—if you’ll pardon the pun—higher learning?

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So in honor of 4/20 I’ve decided to share with you all a lesson that I learned about the pot:

Two years ago I was an occasional smoker, with friends who were quite the opposite. One day we went out to a field to smoke. Why did we choose a wide open field? I’m not sure, but I think it might have had something to do with the fun that comes from rolling in the grass while high.

After walking as far out into the field as we could, my friend rolled perhaps the largest blunt known to mankind. That thing was huge! (Editor’s Note: That’s what she said.) I, being a novice and far from avid smoker, perhaps should have taken the size issue into account. But alas, I did not. Instead, I smoked just as much as the other two. And that was a lot.

When we got up to walk back to the car my legs felt kinda funny. They were melting into the ground, I was sure of it. My friends, whose legs were not melting into the ground, kept stopping and telling told me to hurry up. I tried (even talking to my legs aloud) but there was something terribly wrong with me! My legs were melting! I couldn’t move quickly! Was I going to be like this forever!? Read More »