When it’s over, is it over forever? Can’t there be a way to forgive and forget? Forgive and move forward? There’s no question that a lot of people do attempt to cultivate a second, third…twenty-fifth, chance with an ex, but it never seems to work out. This isn’t rocket science (though I’ll bet rocket scientists would have a hard time identifying all the variables in this equation), whatever the problem, so there has to be a way to solve it. Well, dear readers, I give you a bit of a cautionary — yet hopeful — guide to the risks and rewards of getting back with your ex.

Motivation. The why. Before you’re rushing back in, you’ve got to look at what’s got you so eager. If it’s loneliness, don’t. If it’s fear of being alone, don’t. If it’s because you’ve got nothing better on your plate, don’t. You broke up for a good reason, perhaps several. What’s changed since? 99 times out of 100 you can’t, and shouldn’t, jump back to the place you left things, after all it was the place you left things…the bad place. No one wants to go to the bad place! There was something you wanted and didn’t get, or something you needed that you hadn’t had, and the question is whether or not you’ve gotten it on your own and can move forward, or you’ve compromised on how to attempt to fill those voids for each other. Read More »

If there is one thing I have learned in life, it’s that you always want what you can’t have. The grass is always greener. There will always be someone with a better wardrobe, a hotter ride and a more impressive resume. Such is life.

So, this weekend I decided that I was going to get a little taste of the other side – the other side of my ex-boyfriend’s door, that is.

I blame it on being a Scorpio. Word on the street is that we know exactly how to work our sexy Scorpion magic: We will sit back and wait, silently, passively – no matter how vehemently we really desire something- for the right moment to attack our poor, vulnerable prey (which was, in this case, my unsuspecting, man-whore of an ex).

See, after I broke up with the sleaze (and felt absolutely miserable about it and watched him act like he probably couldn’t have cared less) – I waited. And waited. And waited. Even though we hang out with the same group of drunk, dreadlocked, alcoholic idiots and saw each other at least once every two weeks, I kept my mouth (and legs) shut. Read More »

Judging from last week’s CC poll, a lot of you feel confused about your exes.

Join the club.

I think a lot of us fear that there might be something wrong if we still have feelings for an ex, even years later.

Society tells us that we’re supposed to kick it and move on, that we should say “tough luck” if somebody dumps us, and that we should never again be tempted to kiss somebody we’ve ended a relationship with.

…For real?

Even though I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost two and a half years, and I can’t imagine any scenario in which I would break up with him, I still feel a little wishy-washy about a few of my exes. Doesn’t everybody? Sure, there are a couple I’d just as soon never talk to again, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think about them every week or two (even if it is just in passing). Read More »