Anyone who tells you dating isn’t one big game is, if I may be blunt, completely full of sh*t. Dating is absolutely a game and, if you don’t play your cards right, you’re going to be striking out quite a bit. Luckily, there are rules in place to keep you from looking like a crazy desperado. And most of them sprout from common sense…which means that, with a little self-restrain and a fair amount of good judgment, they’re pretty easy to follow. I’ve rounded up a few of the most basic and important rules right here for you to get you on your merry dating way.

Texting…do it in moderation. I get so mad at my friends when, after trading numbers with a guy, they proceed to text him. That night. Literally five minutes after we left the bar. Three minutes after we left the dude in question. It’s not just a friendly, “Hey, had a great time tonight! It was fun meeting you!” It’s a cry of desperation that says you haven’t gotten laid in six months. Wait for him to break the initial post-meeting silence and, once he does, don’t act like a Stage Five Clinger. Texting him every five minutes and expecting an immediate reply is not attractive. Read More »

That whole drunk confession thing…it’s not just me, right? Give me a couple (dozen) drinks, and the next thing you know I’m baring my soul to my best friend, the awkward girl from work, my ex-boyfriend, the bouncer and anyone else willing to listen. Now, you see, this wouldn’t be a problem, but I have a habit of sharing things I should really be keeping to myself.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? Take a look at what I mean. And if you’re guilty of making these drunk confessions too, raise your glass in solidarity! Read More »

There is a first time for everything. And since I’ve graduated, I’ve been waiting for the first time my college ID would no longer work for a discount at the bar. My mixed feelings of excitement and reduced pride lingered, but I was confident most of the students wouldn’t even know who I was. That means, for one Thursday night, I could play pretend and listen to the slutty little angel sitting on my shoulder.

Me and a few girlfriends put on our highest heels and tightest jeans, teased out our hair, chugged a glass of wine and strut our stuff downtown. For the first time, I felt a hint of cougar status brew in my insides. I was only a year older than most of the people in the bar…aside from the 18-year-old freshman busting in with fake IDs. But we all promised ourselves that this was only an experiment — to hands-on discover how much we’d grown up in the past year. Right? Read More »

Love/hate relationships aren’t just reserved for you and that hot-but-arrogant dude in your study group.  It’s a sometimes-sad truth that frenemies can be found anywhere: on the latest episode of Gossip Girl, at home when your sister borrows your favorite dress and rips it, in Starbucks when the longest line in history stands between you and your morning caffeine fix…heck, even on campus you’re often left feeling a bit bipolar.

If you think I’m exaggerating, you’re probably still enjoying the honeymoon phase of your friendship with the dorm’s biggest partier or that amazing professor who teaches the most boring subject matter.  Take a look at these top offenders and see where you weigh in… Read More »

It wouldn’t be a Friday night if you weren’t incredibly inebriated and on the verge of getting a record-breaking 10th DUI. But how did you get from your desk in the library to this high-speed car chase? We’ve  cracked the code to figuring out how you went from slowly sipping a beer to walking around the bar drinking the bar’s signature tornado-tini out of a cowboy boot.

Sober
All you wanted to do tonight was go home, catch up on your NSFW links, and fall asleep. But your stupid friends dragged you out to happy hour. But seriously, you’re just having one drink and going home. And your friends are crazy if they think you’re going to laugh at their jokes and engage in polite conversation.

Buzzed
You know what? It’s Friday night and it’s kinda stupid to leave the bar now that your beer goggles are just getting into focus. Why not order a few more beers, take a couple shots, and find out just how drunk you have to be to willingly take home your morbidly obese T.A from last semester. Read More »

In the summer, there is nothing I love more than laying on the beach with a cold drink and a good book. One of my favorite genres for summer reading is biography and for some odd reason, I tend to gravitate to memoirs of alcohol and drug abuse. Don’t ask me why, but I love to read memoirs of addicts. Maybe it’s the grittiness of the story or that they usually are somewhat recovered by the time they write the book, but I can’t get enough of them! So when I came across “Nice Recovery” by Susan Juby, I didn’t even think twice about digging in.

You may recognize Susan Juby’s name; that’s because she is a best-selling teen fiction author. She is also a recovered alcoholic. Juby’s memoir begins with her first, very insignificant drink at a wedding, but her alcoholism actually starts when she is 13. Always considered a bright, capable student and gifted writer, she decides to start hanging out with the wrong crowd (or the people her mother refers to as “bad news”) and gets heavy into partying. After being sent to live with various relatives all over British Columbia and somehow managing to graduate high school, Juby moves on to fashion design school in Toronto. Once there, she continues to drink herself silly and, eventually, out of school. During her time as a student, she out-drinks everyone she meets and begins to see a bigger and bigger divide forming between her and her peers when it comes to drinking. Then, she gets a couple wake-up calls and decides to sober up at the ripe old age of 20, just when most people begin their drinking career.

I found that I was really able to relate to Susan’s story. I myself was a pretty big partier in high school and have since considerably settled down. I’m not sober, but I haven’t been drunk in over a year, and I kind of like it that way. People can never believe how little I drink and that I have no desire to get hammered. I’m constantly being pressured by friends, but honestly, drinking effects me way too much and the night out is never worth the hangover (at least in my case!). Anyways, my feelings aside, the book is so refreshing and definitely stands out amongst the alcoholic-memoirs I’ve read. It’s poignant, funny and above all, totally real. Read More »

"Dude, we're not drinking this....we're gonna eyeball it, brah!"

If you’ve ever dreamed of a vodka IV on those nights where you just can’t seem to throw back that very last much needed shot of Belvedere Popov, some sickos (read: exceptionally inebriated college guys in some dirty, smelly frat basement) have devised a new method of intoxication that comes awfully close.

This absurd mode of alcohol ingestion is being called ‘vodka eyeballing,’ which is as gross/disturbing/effed up as it sounds. In a nutshell, you shoot vodka through your eye. The drinking trend is said to be making its way from Britain to the U.S., specifically in Vegas nightclubs. (Because when you spend $200 on a bottle of Skyy, it only makes sense not to waste it in your mouth….)

Those who carry out this horrific idea claim it helps you get drunk faster, however experts (Editor’s Note: What does it take to be a Vodka Eyeballing expert?!) are rather skeptical. They say this method would, in fact, allow very little alcohol to be absorbed and also warn about serious consequences from this, such as clotting of the blood vessels, constantly watering eyes and even deterioration of eyesight. Or the most obvious: looking like a total moron. Read More »

It wouldn’t be a Friday night if you weren’t incredibly inebriated and on the verge of getting a record-breaking 10th DUI. But how did you get from your desk in the library to this high-speed car chase? We’ve  cracked the code to figuring out how you went from slowly sipping a beer to walking around the bar drinking the bar’s signature tornado-tini out of a cowboy boot.

Sober- All you wanted to do tonight was go home, catch up on your NSFW links, and fall asleep. But your stupid friends dragged you out to happy hour. But seriously, you’re just having one drink and going home. And your friends are crazy if they think you’re going to laugh at their jokes and engage in polite conversation.

Buzzed- You know what? It’s Friday night and it’s kinda stupid to leave the bar now that your beer goggles are just getting into focus. Why not order a few more beers, take a couple shots, and find out just how drunk you have to be to willingly take home your morbidly obese T.A from last semester.

Drunk- Sometime between that last round of shots and dancing on the bar, you’ve become a stand-up comedian and a first-rate politician. When did your jokes start getting so funny and since when did you become so into illegal immigration reform? You’re going to do some great and timely Molly Shannon impressions as soon as you get back from peeing outside the bar. Read More »

So now you’re back on campus, away from the ‘rents, and you can go out and drink as much as you want. In moderation, of course. (At least that’s what you tell your parents…)

Need a reason to drink? Need some motivation? Too young to get into the bars?

These three games are sure-fire ways to get drunk and have fun without ever having to leave the house/dorm. Or simply as a little fun before the main event. Whatever. They are fun. Play them.

Beer Pong: This is the ultimate drinking game. If you don’t like beer, replace it with cider or Smirnoff or Bacardi (not straight up, please…you may die) or anything else tasty. Side note: In my recent travels abroad, I discovered that we Americans take this game very, very seriously. Do not attempt to cheat during a beer pong game. You will be seriously heckled and possibly thrown out. Unless everyone’s too drunk to notice (which is entirely possible).

Flip Cup: The first time I played this, I didn’t realize that the entire team had to flip their cups over. I thought the contest was over after the first pair. And everyone was just looking, and looking, and looking at me…

Kings: I couldn’t find a satisfactory link to rules, so here they are as I play it. (Which is the best way.): Read More »

Some guys just don’t quit.

You know the guys I’m talking about.

They’re your friends from elementary school. They’re your roomies who you like to pretend don’t have penises. They’re your colleagues, family friends, they’re a large percentage of all of the guys you know. And here is what they all have in common: THEY DON’T KNOW HOW TO GIVE UP.

Maybe you know in the back of your mind somewhere that this guy would totally sleep with you if you gave him the opportunity. He’s a guy, after all. But you’ve made it clear you don’t want to take things there and he’s acted like he understands.

Until it’s time for a dirty joke.

Or until he’s drunk.

Or until you start getting serious with another guy. Read More »