Alright, let’s dig into this stereotype that men don’t show their emotions as much as women. True? False. Men do. Men do in lots of ways. Just not always smart, rational, or legal ways (but why only condemn men for that, right?) One of the ways that men have been, in certain cases, brought up to believe is unacceptable is crying. My grandfather and my father both were instilled with the belief that crying doesn’t solve anything, therefore it serves no purpose. Now, that’s bullsh*t but unfortunately there is still some guys out there who have that kind of mentality. They can whine and yell and throw tantrums and complain and become utter stone faces under the sun but crying makes them look weak. Well, let me tell you all something, crying doesn’t make you weak and no matter how hard guys might try, there are certain times when all you can do is cry, cry, cry…

initiating the gallery...

Dear Rebound Guy,

I would like to take this time to 1) say thank you, and 2) apologize for using you at my own discretion.

You see, there comes a time in every girl’s life when she gets dumped. Dumped so hard she can only listen to Bon Iver, curl up in a ball in her bed and turn off all the lights. Oh yes, and sob, did I mention that? But there also comes a time when it’s Friday night and her best friends drag her out of bed, put her in a killer push-up bra, a mini-skirt and take her to the most populated bar in town. And that, my friend, is where you came in.

To begin, I’d like to thank you for approaching me…or rather the alcohol induced, suddenly-confident-yet-secretly-broken version of me. Right now you think I’m this great girl who you were so lucky to stumble upon and, sure, I may seem completely level-headed and down-for-whatever, but you have no idea what you’ve just gotten yourself into. So, after a few sloppy dances and sweaty hugs, my friends finally find me and let me know you are, in fact, not as attractive as I had thought, and I depart. Without you. (Tease move number one). But not before you whip out your iPhone4 and I shout my number over the music. And that’s how it always begins. Read More »

Lesson 31: You May Not Be Better Off Without Him…But You Will Be.

No girl is “better off” heartbroken. And yet when you find yourself newly single attending your first mostly-couples party disappointingly sober, the frenemy you wish was just your enemy drops her not-so-consoling version of a consolation for your breakup – “You’re better off without him,” she says and you cant help but want to punch her.

Too often women tell other women they are better off without the man who they’ve recently split from and every time, I can’t help but wonder if they’d still say that if the man who’d just left me had cured cancer or spent his free time saving baby animals from oil spills. Out of habit we tell our girlfriends that they’re better off without their exes not really considering what a statement like that means.

Good intentions aside, something about hearing “you’re better off without him” never really makes you believe it. Unless your ex was a drug-dealing, lying-and-cheating, animal-hating hoodlum, chances are there were parts of your relationship with him that made you happy. Give yourself some credit by giving him some credit. Hearing the words “you’re better off” feels anything but warm when the guy you’re no longer with is actually an amazing person. Maybe your relationship made you a better person and it seems unfitting that you would take away from all that you cherished in the relationship to give in to this whole “better off without him” theory. Not to mention, you’ve got to wonder if there’s someone out there telling your ex that he’s better off without you.

It’s hard to believe you truly are better off without a guy when you’re spending your first few days post-breakup wearing one of his button-down shirts you refuse to give back, unable to leave the comfort of your bed’s comforter. You don’t have to be “better off” to get over a breakup.

There’s nothing eloquent about a breakup so naturally there’s no eloquent way to describe them – breakups suck, period. We’ll tell ourselves anything and everything to get over them but how much of what we try to believe really makes a difference? Why not instead just accept that you won’t feel better off and that you’ll just have to mourn what used to be for a while? Since not all great relationships have great endings, make your own.

Instead of telling you “you’re better off without him,” your friends (or frenemies) should be telling you “it’ll get better in time.” Focus your post-breakup days on healing as opposed to being “better off.” Don’t burden yourself with the daunting task of trying to ignore that you were ever part of a relationship, that you ever shared your life with a guy who decided he didn’t want to be a part of it anymore. Somehow trying to forget something reminds you of it more so if you miss him, accept it and understand that missing someone, while bothersome, is not enough to put your life on hold.

As flattering as it is to believe the women in our lives when they take our sides, saying we’re better off without the men who left us, that they were no good anyway, is simply illogical. Our exes can be our exes and still be good people and more importantly, we can, in time, learn to live without them. Take the parts you love and miss of the relationship, whether it’s fairly life-changing like a sunnier disposition or something as small as remembering to turn the lights off when you leave a room, and each day make an effort to incorporate them in your newly single life.

Got it? Feel empowered? Good. Now get the first 30 rules of the Single Girl Society

There’s no easy was to breakup with someone. It’s just an innately uncomfortable situation. Inevitably there will be some harsh words and ugly cry faces. Someone will shamefully grovel and plea, either for forgiveness or to be taken back. Maybe a vase will be thrown, a picture frame smashed. And that’s only if things get exciting. Most times you just sit there with someone else not saying much, but miraculously knowing exactly what’s going on anyway.

Well, prepare to have your world rocked, because the art of the breakup has finally been perfected. Some nameless little genius went out and penned himself the letter to end all letters. Take a look above and see for yourself. Did you just read the words “tet-tets” and “crip?” Yes. Yes, you did.

Asysna, how ever could you let this winner go?

Are Sofia Vergara’s boobs getting commission?

Adam Lambert is looking CREEPTASTIC

8 signs he’s about to dump you

Kurt from Glee has certainly been busy

Fashion challenge: wear a hippie headband

Remember your childhood?

4 things every man wants in a woman

Would you rather…

CC says: Sign up for Bloglovin

Emma Robert’s little sis is super cute

I got fired. It came out of nowhere, like a ton of bricks on my head. I was called in for a meeting with my supervisor and the head of the company on a Thursday morning, and everyone (myself included) actually thought I was getting promoted! I had been doing so well, and my supervisor had just told me the day before how well I was handling the work.

And then? Bam. Fired. Jobless. Let go only 2 months into my very first full-time salary-and-benefits job out of college.

What I didn’t realize about being fired is that it feels exactly like a breakup.

I went home and curled up under my duvet in the middle of the afternoon, and all I could do is replay the breakup in my head. Instead of “I think we should see other people” it was “We are going to have to terminate you, effective immediately”. I could picture my boss’s face in my head, and it brought me to tears each time. Just like a breakup, I couldn’t eat or sleep or think about anything else. In vain I tried to distract myself by downloading and watching episodes of Gossip Girl.

A few days later, when I finally dragged myself out of bed, I came to realize that I probably wouldn’t see most of my ex-coworkers again, kind of like how you never get to see your ex-boyfriend’s cool friends after the breakup. Too awkward. But I loved my co-workers! I can’t believe I don’t get to hang out with any more! And of course I wouldn’t be able to hang out in the neighborhood where my old office was, for fear of running into my ex-boss, or just being overwhelmed with negative memories. This thought affected me so much I almost broke down in tears again just thinking about how I wouldn’t be able to go to the local DELI again. The deli! I was clearly losing it. Read More »

We’ve all been there…right?? Getting dumped? It’s happened to us all? Yes?

…please say yes, so I don’t feel horribly sh*tty.

My mom told me over the phone today that everybody goes through the process of being totally rejected by the person you’ve been in a relationship with and were totally into. Breaking up. It’s normal. It happens.

Maybe so, mom, but it still SUCKS.

After breaking up with my FSU boyfriend of over three years (2+ years in college, 1+ year long distance – don’t do it, ever EVER ever) I had some flings, a rebound or two, and fell into a new, New York City relationship after only knowing this new guy for three teeny tiny weeks.

Big mistake.

I was totally into him, totally infatuated, and mistook that googly-eyed “OMG, he’s so hot and dreamy” feeling for the L-Word.

Not this L Word. The other one.

Anyway, I jumped in way too fast and fell way too hard before actually getting to know the guy and being able to make a fully thought-out decision. Again – BIG mistake.

The first month or so was sweet, sweet bliss. We were becoming closer, you know…buddies, confidants, lovaaaaaahs…it was so exciting and fresh and wonderful, as the beginning of any relationship should be. Read More »

“Hey! Sorry it took me so long to respond! I had a good time too last Saturday! I won’t be around this weekend, but if you still want together, we should totally try!”

I mean, does it sound as fake to you as it does to me?

This little gem popped up in my email a few days ago. After reading it three times, I decided I was angry. Not because I had apparently been blown off by someone, but because I didn’t even like that someone to begin with!

Oh, the ironic sting of being rejected by someone you never wanted in the first place.

Has this ever happened to you? For some reason you agree to meet someone. Maybe it’s a blind date. Maybe it’s an internet thing. Maybe your mom has set you up in fear that you will never find a straight man to love again on your own (hypothetically…of course). Read More »