I’m 23…and Getting Married

I’m definitely aware that, in regards to getting engaged, I’m not a special snowflake. There are lots of 23-year-olds who are engaged and getting married. There is nothing really magical about my story or my engagement or my life. I’m just a chick who likes to write and happened to find a dude who likes to write. And we ended up dating and getting engaged.

I guess what makes my story different to most people was that I never planned on getting married. In fact, before I dated my fiance, I had never had an official boyfriend before. I had had little flings — imagine me telling someone, “Me and that guy had about half-a-thing,” which basically sums up my love life until the age of 22. I was non-committal and mostly uninterested. Whenever I went on dates, I secretly wished I was at home watching Disney movies and eating cookies instead.

I hated the process of dating, the amount of money spent, the tension over the check, the sitting in a dark movie theater trying not to fall asleep because I got up at 5am to work out. And, more than that, I hated the idea that I was supposed to be dependent on someone. Maybe it was my rebellious nature, but I really rejected the notion that unless I had a boyfriend, I appeared abnormal. I knew I was intelligent, attractive and generally pretty fun (I do a really great Zooey Deschanel impression). I didn’t need a dude to tell me this. I was The Girl Who Didn’t Need Reassurance. Read More »


Candy Dish: So Many Ringbearers

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My Life As… A Married College Student

While every college girl shares many of the same college experiences (selling books, sexiled, one shot too many), she also carves her own path and has her own unique adventure. Have you ever wondered what it’s like for other girls? What it’s like to go to an all-girls school? To go to fashion school? To double major? Well wonder no more. Our one-of-a-kind CollegeCandy writers (and readers!) are sharing their unique experiences and opening our eyes to different college worlds.

Are you doing something spectacular/different/interesting that you want to share? Send your ideas over and perhaps you could be telling your story right here.

I guess I haven’t had what most people would call a normal college career.  I’ve definitely had my share of the normal college experience – dumb freshmen antics, frat parties, enough beer pong to last a lifetime, all-nighters, roommate drama, last minute papers, and really great friends – but there is one thing that makes me different.

On July 10th, 2010, a few months before my senior year, I will be a wife.

Yeah, check that. Read it over once more.  I expect more than a few WTF’s on that one.  I certainly received them when I casually went over wedding details with friends last spring in several of my classes.  For the people that know me really well, it didn’t come as much as a surprise.  I’ve had my wedding planned since I was about eight years old, wanted to be a mom when I grew up with the aspiration to pop out about twelve kids.  But after I entered college never-been-kissed and jumped into a world of man trouble that led me to some severe man-hating, I didn’t think it was going to happen.  So on New Year’s 2008, when I had firmly resolved to swear off men all together to foster greater focus and better grades, God or fate or whatever decided that it was time I meet “the one.” Read More »


Tuffy Luv Is Engaged…in Conversation About Being Engaged

Question for Tuffski?! Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and perhaps get an answerino.

Dear Tuffy Luv,
My best friend got engaged on Valentine’s Day. I want to be excited for her big moment, but I can’t help but feel like she’s making a gigantic mistake. She’s only known him since November (he was a mutual friend of the guy she was sleeping with at the time) and has a long history of rushing into relationships with really sketchy guys. Every relationship she gets into, she seems to fall head-over-heels for the guy and turns a blind eye to all of his problems until after he breaks up with her, at which point she realizes what a jerk he was for cheating/abusing her/lying/etc.

Her fiance has never abused or cheated on her, but a couple of months ago they had a pregnancy scare and he threatened to kill himself. I don’t think either of them are mature enough to get married, and if they do, I think it will end in divorce. They plan to get married in Summer 2013 after she gets her bachelor’s degree, so there’s time for her to realize it won’t work on her own, but I don’t think she will. Should I raise the issue with her? I love her and just want her to be happy, but she’s so ecstatic about the engagement and the guy that I’m afraid speaking up could end our friendship.

–Friendo Read More »


Coupled. And Getting Older (Together)

For those of you who don’t know me and for some reason wish you knew more, my 21st birthday is Friday. That means no more sitting at home while my friends go to Austin’s famed 6th street, no more waiting in the car while my boyfriend buys booze, etc. It’s time for me to face it, I’m getting slightly older. With this lovely realization makes me realize that I’m not just growing old, I’m growing old with my boyfriend, Matt.

So far we’ve spent 2 birthdays each with one another, and with every year our relationship seems to get much more permanent. I know this shouldn’t just be dawning on me now, but if all goes to plan I’m going to be spending all of my birthdays with Matt. It’s a really comforting thought, but it’s also a bit scary.

On the one side, it’s really comforting because, well, let’s face it, nobody wants to die alone. I sleep better at night knowing that there’s somebody who’s going to love me when I’m old and wrinkly. On the other side, it’s kinda scary because, while I’m getting older, I still feel really young. Trust me when I say there are a lot of people who think I’m crazy for being committed to someone in my very early twenties. What if they’re right? Read More »


Bad Advice Women Get: Settle Down. Now.

This will make you happy.

Meet Lori Gottlieb. She’s a 40-year-old single mother—she got artificially inseminated because she wanted to have a baby but didn’t have a boyfriend—who has discovered the secret to why more women aren’t married: their standards aren’t low enough.

No, seriously. Gottlieb recently expanded this 2008 article from the Atlantic into a full-length book called Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough. Her basic premise? Modern women all have “checklists” for their potential life partners, and we’re too quick to dismiss guys who don’t necessarily satisfy all of those requirements. So in order to avoid being single and, therefore, miserable in our 40s, women in their 20s like you and me should forget searching for Mr. Right and, instead, make do with Mr. Good Enough.

Don’t worry if this advice sounds ridiculously retro—Gottlieb freely admits that she’s telling women to ignore modern ideas about male/female relations because, as she says at the beginning of her book’s third chapter, “feminism has completely f*cked up my love life.” All that talk about “freedom” and “choice”—yes, she actually puts those words in quotation marks—is a bunch of hooey because, as opposed to what Gloria Steinem and Betty Friedan would have you believe, women really do need to get married and have lots of babies in order to be fulfilled: “The truth was, every one of my single friends wanted to be married, but none of us would admit how badly we craved it for fear of sounding weak or needy or, God forbid, antifeminist,” Gottlieb writes.

Excuse me for just a minute—AAAARRRRGGGGG!!! This crap is so ludicrous that I can only express my anger in capital letters and multiple exclamation points. I can immediately think of about fifty things that are totally wrong with Gottlieb’s thought process, but I’ll spare all of you and just mention what I think are her most glaring errors: Read More »


There’s a Time and A Place for Facebooking

Everyone has that one friend who is a habitual Facebook status updater. Their life is an open book for all of their cyber friends to read. As if people care that you are at the gym right now or cleaning out your earwax. There are some things better left un-updated. And there are some places and times when it’s not OK to update either. Such as at your wedding. During the ceremony. Before you’ve even kissed the bride.

Read More »


Single. And Walking Down the Aisle.

Wedding_aisle_decorated1

I thought I would be at least 25 before this became an issue. I’m a bridesmaid. Yes, blah blah, happy occasion, etc, etc. But let’s get down to the nitty gritty.

First, I have to lose enough weight that the size 4 dress I ordered actually fits (I got a little overzealous after my skinny pants fit.) Second, I am the only bridesmaid who does not have a long term boyfriend. Meaning I either attend several wedding functions as the only solo gal, or I shell out some major cash dollaz for one of my guy friends to fly out to the wedding with me. Both options are giving me ulcers. Third, I’m jealous. Not that my friend is happy (because I’m amazingly glad she is) or because I want a husband (oh no, no, absolutely not), but because she has her whole life figured out…and I’m still deciding which kegger to go to tomorrow night.

I guess she’s an adult. And while my Harry Potter posters and cupboard full of Lucky Charms would have you believe otherwise, I guess I’m sort of, kind of an adult too. And if this is the beginning of adulthood, I’m so far really bad at it. One of my best friends from high school is getting married. My other two best friends (the other lovely bridesmaids) are at least in relationships that will give them the emotional skills to one day be married. I’m busy trying to casually find out if the hot guy I work with is single so that I can maybe flirt with him. Read More »


Miss Manners: The DL on Weddings

WeddingParty

[I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the epitome of prim and proper- heck, who really is nowadays? But looking around at the misguided youths of today *ahem drinking buddies*, I’m starting to think that Miss Manners might have been onto something.

While you may never need to know how to greet a duke or how to tell which fork is REALLY the oyster fork, knowing how to deal with people whom owe you money, how much to tip, and how to address the ever annoying licorice-in-teeth conundrum without being rude might actually come in handy in the real world. I'm not trying to be your mother - oh goodness, no - I'm just here to help you out of those little etiquette dilemmas. So here goes: a quick lesson in etiquette. The sh*t you might actually need to know]

One of my oldest childhood friends is getting married this Saturday and, quite frankly, I am horrified by the thought of attending his wedding. Not that I have anything against the lovebirds; on the contrary, I’m glad he’s happy. It’s just, well… I never know how to act at weddings. There are just too many unspoken rules, too many unanswered questions: What do I wear? Black? White? Should I go casual or dressy? What do I bring? Who do I bring? Can I bring someone? And so on.

It’s enough to keep you from going to the blasted wedding at all. Well, I’m here to speak those rules and answer those questions. Buckle up my lovelies…

Dress code:
Can I wear white? NO! Never, ever wear white to a wedding.

What about black? Yes, black is perfectly acceptable at weddings. In fact, most people do. As long as you keep from looking like part of a funeral procession, you should be fine. Read More »


The Hills: Heidi and Spencer Duke it Out

heidi montag spencer prattI know what will be on my Hanukkah List this year: a few private sessions with Whitney, Lauren and Audrina’s trainer. Not that I find him attractive – I usually don’t go for beefy dudes in tight t-shirts who like to “cheers!” to everything.

No, I want to train with a guy who makes people go for a walk, do five jumping jacks, punch a little bit in the air, grab a few cocktails and end up looking like Whitney. Could her legs be more ridiculous?

Seriously, I don’t think this dude is a real trainer. I think he hangs out at the gym pretending to be one in order to lure hot girls into his giant beefy arms. And, clearly, it worked! He snagged one of L.A.’s hottest and managed to get a deal training some hot new music stars. Perhaps they – like me – saw Whitney and fell for his training charade.

I can also tell you what I don’t want for Hanukkah this year. And that is Spencer Pratt. First of all, that blonde haired/blue eyed freak could never pass for a Jew (and my papa wouldn’t approve). But second, and most important, Spencer makes me ill.

Not like “annoyed” ill. More like “I hate and judge a lot of people but you totally take the cake to the point that you make me lose my appetite for cake. Which is one of my favorite things” ill. Read More »