Labor day is all about spending the day thinking about how you don’t have work…if you’re a million years old. For those of us still in school, it’s all about going out hard on Sunday (ugh how strenuous was syllabus week, huh!?) and spending the day in your pajamas watching marathons all.day.long. And don’t even think about taking the effort to reach for that remote. Today is all about doing absolutely nothing. So that’s why we’ve put together this amazing list of every single marathon happening on Labor Day. Enjoy.

Oh and make sure not to get too many chip crumbs on your roomie’s Snuggie. She’ll never let you borrow it again.

Discovery Channel – Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe: So you’re feeling slightly depressed about your own job (or lack thereof) and you need the kind of “at least that’s not me” pick-me-up that can only come from watching a man crawl around in sewage for 8 hours. This is for you.

TLC – Little People, Big World: Need a change of scenery from your boring, ho hum life? How about looking at the world from 3 feet off the ground?

ABC Family – Secret Life of the American Teenager: Nothing says “Labor Day” quite like never ending teen pregnancy scares and fighting with your parents over curfew. For an entire day.

A & E – Hoarders: Honestly, I can’t imagine how anyone can watch more than 2 minutes of this show let alone an entire day’s worth. But if you like feeling nauseous and depressed, you’ll definitely want to keep your TV tuned in to A&E all day long.

Bravo – Real Housewives of New Jersey: If we needed a valid reason to watch this sh*tshow, it wouldn’t exist.

Disney – Suite Life on Deck: If you are feeling like you’re five again, why not check out Suite Life on Deck – and repeat after me, “I am still a grown up adult, I am still a grown up adult.”

Food Network – Semi-Homemade Cooking: Because the only way to get over the sting of not getting mom’s famous coleslaw is to watch food porn on the couch while munching on Chinese take-out.

FX – Two and a Half Men: Because there is no Jersey Shore marathon and apparently this show is funny.

Gameshow Network – Baggage: Stop worrying if your sext to your  T.A was inappropriate and focus on people who actually have real relationship issues. Like really real issues. They wouldn’t be on the Gameshow network if they were just messing around.

Hallmark – I Love Lucy: Sick of color TV? Craving the days when Snooki wasn’t being mentioned on every network? Well pull a Pleasantville and hunker down for a day of good old-fashioned fun. Old-fashioned being the key word. Lucy and Ricky manage to have a baby, yet never once talk about how that happened.

History – Pawn Stars: Throw the History Channel a bone. They’re trying so hard to be hip and fun and cool. It’s like watching your Mom log on to Facebook. You just can’t help but feel sorry for the old gal.

HGTV – House Hunters International: What’s that? You’ve seen every house in America! No worries, we’re going international!

Soap – Beverly Hills 90210: This is where it all began, people! Before Gossip Girl, The O.C. and the new (and crappy) 90210. Where we first learned how to deal with abusive boyfriends, cults, divorce, suicide, and what it’s like to be inexplicably rich and angsty. And, of course, there will be plenty of high waisted, acid washed jeans.

TBS – The Office: It wouldn’t be a long weekend without some major awkwardness (Michael Scott is on par with hooking up with someone on your floor) and some Scranton comedy.

TNT – Bones: If you have a slight craving for some modern Law & Order meets House (i.e. dark humor) and an excuse to feel like you uncovered a mystery per episode, tune into Bones.

Travel – Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations: Think Eat, Pray, Love + steroids – inhibitions and you have Anthony Bourdain’s food show. It’s revolting and appealing all at once. Not too much different than the thought of eating breakfast when you’re hungover.

TV Land – The Nanny: For the masochist in all of us.

U.S.A – N.C.I.S: The perfect show to flip to when your R.OT.C crush walks by the lounge. Other than that…we’re not sure why people under 50 turn this on.

VH1 – The T.O Show: Otherwise known as  “How NOT to Behave if you’re a human being.”

WE – Ghost Whisperer: Lost your Oujia board? No worries! Check out the show that’s making it possible for Jennifer Love Hewitt to keep her career.

We have all complained, at one time or another, on the quick spiralling freefall that is this season’s Grey’s Anatomy. Between the ghost sex and the impromptu training operations that would have no doubt been a felony in any other show, it all gives this writer pause. If these are the story lines that we saw, what are the plotlines that got turned down?

1. Having a ghost friend is a great idea. It worked for Ghost Whisperer, and Jennifer Love Hewitt is nowhere near as hot as Katherine Heigl. It only makes more sense that a hot ghost with a hot star = ratings galore. I think they missed out on an even bigger opportunity: Izzy is a ghost orgy with Denny and all the patients that ever died at Seattle Grace.

2. McDreamy is just perfect in every way: he’s sexy, he’s funny, and he’s the most talented surgeon ever to grace this planet. Too good to be true, right? Exactly. We never knew anything about Derek’s life before he came to Seattle Grace…until now. Turns out Derek used to be Dayna, a talented female surgeon in New York who was getting nowhere in her career thanks to the Glass Ceiling. Dayna was sick of being picked over in favor of male surgeons, so she decided to take matters into her own hands by performing gender reassignment surgery…on herself. Yes, she’s just that good. You didn’t think a man could have hair that good, did you?

3.  TV dramas love guest stars and Heidi Montag is a media whore – a match made in heaven. Speidi heads to Seattle for another posed photo shoot when Spencer decides that Heidi’s 92 pound frame is just too large. He can’t handle the ounce of fat on her thighs, so he convinces her to get lipo. While in recovery, the hospital is bombed and Heidi is responsible to perform life-saving surgury on all of the doctors at Seattle Grace. In a bikini. Which she then turns into a music video.

4. You’ve heard of Iron Chef – now check out Iron Doctors. The staff at Seattle Grace invite the doctors of County General (ER) for a test to see just which hospital is better. Tonight’s ingredient predicament: a bus full of geriatric S&M enthusiasts crashes into an airplane that had to make an emergency landing on the highway on their way to a convention. We’ll have to wait and see who can remove all the spikes, chains, gags and melted leather chaps and save the most people in 60 minutes.

5. Dr. Yang heads outside to wait for the next big case when an icicle falls off of the roof and stabs her in the side. Oh wait….