Today, July 1st, Canadians and the people who love them (yes, lots of people love Canadians!) are celebrating Canada Day, an annual federal holiday commemorating Canada’s “birthday” in 1867. Since then, Canada has contributed a whole lot to the world in the realms of science, hotties, entertainment, hotties, cuisine, hotties, pop culture, and more (hotties). Here is but a brief list of things to love from our northern neighbor. Enjoy it, eh? Read More »

Listen to me: your mom is not coming with you to college.

There is not going to be anyone there to feed you soup when you have a cold or hand you band-aids when you’ve had too much to drink, fall, and cut yourself on glass. There is only the student health center and they don’t want to hear about your minor ailments; they’ve got a whole campus worth of people with real problems. Like broken limbs… and broken condoms.

Because of this you have to be prepared to take care of yourself when it comes to the minor things: the tummy aches, the colds, the bumps and bruises. And you have to be prepared.

Below is a handy dandy list of things you’ll need to build your very own medicine cabinet. No more unnecessary trips to the Health Center (where they probably can’t help you anyway), or crying to your mom on the phone. Well, you can still cry on the phone, but at least you won’t have to leave the house to get some Pepto.

1) A container

First things first – you’re going to need a place to store your medical supplies. This can be an under-the-bed plastic tub or a cool toolbox you decorate with stickers. Anything you want really, as long as it’s storable. And make sure that whatever you pick can hold a few 20 oz and cans.

2) Band-Aids and Bandages

This is the most basic part of your kit; the thing that you will probably be using most of all. You should stock up on band-aids of all sizes. You never know what you might need one for: blisters, shaving nicks, paper cuts, drunken falls. Also keep a few ace bandages handy. Thanks to the combination of stilettos and alcohol, sprained ankles and wrists are inevitable. Read More »

We pick up where last week’s episode left off, with Ali drilling Jeremy for an explanation for his bizarre online interview. The argument sounds like thousands I’ve heard my drunk friends have with their long distance boyfriends via cell phone. I listen to Ali and Jeremy run around in circles until Ali reads something of interest from the article: “I wanna marry Lindsay”…I want to marry your sister. Ali says that Jeremy has told her this in person as well. Um, and that didn’t tip you off that he was USING YOU?!?!

Whatever, Ali’s pissed because Jeremy has a crush on Lindsay and not her. Jeremy’s probably pissed because Lindsay has a crush on Samantha Ronson and not him.

Their fight concludes (or is postponed) freaking finally. Ali says she doesn’t trust anyone but her family anymore (not what you said last week.) And goes to her wise and showbiz weary mother for advice.

Dina explains that “we all make mistakes” (especially her–although I don’t know if you can consider raising trainwrecks mere mistakes). She gives a small lesson in Tabloid Manipulation 101 and tells Ali that “they’ll just have to educate him,” which sounds very creepy Scientologist.

Jeremy enters the house while Dina and Ali chat in the kitchen. He doesn’t knock or anything, just breezes right in. Dina then begins to mediate Ali and Jeremy’s argument. Read More »

It’s Friday! As soon as the clock strikes 5 (or 6…or whenever you’re finished with class…) it’s time to let your hair down and get going with what the weekend is made for: getting waaaaasted!

Which sounds awesome…until you wake up in the morning with the worst hangover of all time. After running to the bathroom to puke a twice and promising God that you will never drink again if He lets you make it through this pain, you return to your bed and contemplate just what will make this horrible feeling end.

Unfortunately, you are fresh out of Vicodin.

Lucky for you, there are other ways to get rid of the spins/headache/dry mouth/sore muscles/anything else that comes along with a hangover (besides the smokey smell in your hair and ugly dude lying next to you). Read More »