For the first time all season, last night’s episode of The Hills was action packed! I was actually not that surprised, because of course everything would go down as soon as LC left town. Remember how everything changed when she went to Paris?

But still – it was intense. Things happened. And, more importantly, really deep conversations were had.

Like this doozy between Audrina and Lo as they ate lunch during their (forced) week of bonding:

“I have 2 knives,” says Audrina, confused.

“I have 2 forks,” responds Lo. “TRADE!!”

Ah, that is true friendship. They really are getting along – at least until the BIGGEST DRAMA EVER happens: Audrina starts chatting Heidi up at the bar and then meets up with Heidi (who happened to be wearing a lot of leather) and Spencer at the X-games party. And not only does she meet up with them, she starts getting all huggy and lovey with Heidi about their friendship and how they used to be BFF.

“We’re grownups now!”

“Praise Jesus I am not involved in that!”

Not that we can blame her because you and I both know we’ve been there before; the alcohol is flowing and things start to get a little hazy. Before you know it you are telling everyone how much you love them, how you “totally need to hang out!” and how you really miss them. Really.

Audrina even tells Heidi about the Stephanie and Doug situation, to which Heidi responds with my second favorite line of the night: “That was, like, her Doug.” I get what she is going for here – Stephanie is a backstabbing bitch – but Heidi couldn’t come up with anything better than using Doug’s name to describe Doug?

That’s the best you can do, MTV Heidi?

But all that is only half of the sh*t that happened last night. Obviously, we watched as the real Stephanie Pratt started coming out. And the real Stephanie Pratt is horny and wants to do Doug now.

I have no problem with Pratt going on a date with Doug; after all, LC broke things off with him, which should mean he is fair game for everyone else. And the kid has a freaking PLANE – someone needs to date him.

My problem with Stephanie is that she is deliberately plotting (with Spencer, no less!) to go behind Lauren’s back with the boy. Even though she shouldn’t technically have to, Stephanie can wait a few more days to tell LC before going on the date. Yes, it is annoying, but it is in the Girl Code, and girls are annoying. Especially LC. She even told Spencer that she and Doug will just tell people they are only friends.

Because there is NO WAY anyone would ever find out. It is not like there are cameras constantly following them around, or that any of this will ever end up on TV.

Lauren eventually comes home from Italy, A.K.A. a giant construction site, and is updated on all the happenings while she was gone. She gives Audrina an angry look when she finds out she was hangin’ with Heidi, calls Doug “my Doug” when hearing about the Stephanie sitch and then goes to dinner with Brody where he gives her a big, fat, “I told you so.”

And you could cut the sexual tension with a knife.

Then the episode ended. And my guy friend who was watching with me (and, no, I did not force him to!) looked exhausted.

“Were our lives ever that dramatic?”

“Nope! And that’s why no one ever wanted to watch us.”

Can’t wait for the Stephanie/LC sh*tstorm next week!

Him: A good friend (we’ll call him Fred) I’ve had a thing for, for years. He just got back from studying abroad and the ocean air and warm weather treated him very well.

I kind of thought our first encounter in the bedroom was a one-time occurrence. A tipsy romp between the sheets that was very memorable, but a sexual outlier…that is until it happened again the next night.

And again two nights later.

To the untrained eye, nothing is different. No awkward conversations, no weirdness whatsoever and the sex is nothing short of mind blowing. So where’s the problem?

He is my best friend’s ex-boyfriend.

Hear me out. They dated for two years, mostly long distance, during college. The three of us would hang out together whenever he came to town. Their relationship was good but they weren’t exactly Jack and Rose. They didn’t have many common interests and they only got to see one another once or twice a month. The relationship finally ended last summer when they decided it just wasn’t working anymore. Because the break-up was relatively mutual, I got to stay friends with Fred and we got together frequently.

Fred and Ruby (yes, we’re calling my best friend Ruby) both found new significant others within a few weeks time.

He got back to America after studying abroad and looked smoking hot. We drank, we flirted, yada, yada, yada; I walked him to the door the next morning.

Later that day, I talked to Ruby about it (crazy maybe, but I didn’t want to lie about it) and she sounded a bit…shocked. Not mad, not overjoyed, just…dazed. She thanked me for being honest and telling her first. We exchanged a few pleasantries and hung up. I haven’t talked to her since, but I think she’s coming around.

I told a few other friends this story and they thought otherwise. Half thought I broke the first rule of best-friends: “Hands (and every other body part) away from the Ex.” The rest gave me the go-ahead, “They broke up. She moved on. No harm, no foul.”

But what do you think, CC faithful? She is my best friend and – broken up or not – many would argue that her exes are forever off limits. But is that fair? Shouldn’t there be a statute of limitations on this kind of thing? Do I have to avert my gaze forever, or is there truly no wiggle room in the girl code?

[Photo: TraciNoel.Blogspot.Com]