My Roots of Feminism class recently read The Myth of Vaginal Orgasm by Anne Koedt, an essay from 1970 that talks about the idealization of vaginal orgasms when the main source of sexual pleasure for women has been proven to be the clitoris. (She goes much more into depth in her essay about how the “myth of vaginal orgasm” came about, if you want to read it.)

In 2009, we seem to have finally recognized the clitoris as the important sexual organ it is. Any Cosmo article will tell you that many women don’t have vaginal orgasms and clitoral stimulation is an important part of sex.  But despite recognizing the important of the clitoris, our basic, standard sex position remains missionary, one of the worst positions for clitoral stimulation!

Perhaps this is why 75% of women have never had an orgasm from sex; they’re going about it all wrong!

Well, people, it’s time to move past missionary and into the land of pleasure. Out with the boring and in with the orgasmic! Below are some new positions to try out that are sure to bring both you and your partner some serious pleasure.

You can thank me later. Read More »

Q: My boyfriend wants me to get on top during sex, and I want to, but I feel too self-conscious about my body! I just feel like like I’ll be on display, with all of my flaws in his face. Any words of wisdom?

A: You will be on display–and your boyfriend will be loving every minute of it. Part of the reason the girl on top position is often requested by guys is because it’s hot! And not just because it feels good or because sometimes guys want to just lay there–a lot of the appeal is that he gets to see you. All of you. And I can’t stress this enough–he wants to.

And it seems like you want to also. If you had written to me to say that he wants you on top but there’s nothing you hate more, then I might have told you that there’s no reason you need to do something in bed that you don’t like. But it seems like something you’re curious about, and you very may well like.

My advice: just do it. Read More »

As we slowly transition into fall, there’s a ton of things we can do to warm ourselves up during this chilly season. Some like to throw on a comfortable hoodie, others grab a warm mug of cider. My own secret for staying warm? Trying out a couple hot sex positions.

There’s a few positions my boytoy and I absolutely looove that guarantee to keep our body heat blazing during those cold fall nights.

One great position that’ll get your temperatures rising is the spoon. This is perfect for when the two of you are just cuddling away under the blankets but still feel like getting frisky. While Cosmo recommends the dude half-kneel behind you, my guy and I like to just stay side by side with one of his hands on my waist to keep the rhythm. The guy lifting your top leg is optional too. If you don’t feel like having your leg dangling in the air, keep your legs down but knees slightly apart for a tighter fit. Instant warmth, no hot chocolate needed.

Still chilly? Time to heat things up with some shower sex! Sex in the shower is fun but a little tricky since there’s always the chance of one somebody slipping. The right position for this small space is debatable, but I found the best way is for the girl to be bent over with her hands on the walls for support while the guy stands behind her. You can also try with the girl’s back against the wall and one of her legs wrapped around the guy’s waist, but its harder for her to keep her balance. Any way you want to try, shower sex makes for a steaming hot time. With this combo of hot water and sweet lovin’, anyone can forget that fall is rolling on in. Read More »