My Roots of Feminism class recently read The Myth of Vaginal Orgasm by Anne Koedt, an essay from 1970 that talks about the idealization of vaginal orgasms when the main source of sexual pleasure for women has been proven to be the clitoris. (She goes much more into depth in her essay about how the “myth of vaginal orgasm” came about, if you want to read it.)

In 2009, we seem to have finally recognized the clitoris as the important sexual organ it is. Any Cosmo article will tell you that many women don’t have vaginal orgasms and clitoral stimulation is an important part of sex.  But despite recognizing the important of the clitoris, our basic, standard sex position remains missionary, one of the worst positions for clitoral stimulation!

Perhaps this is why 75% of women have never had an orgasm from sex; they’re going about it all wrong!

Well, people, it’s time to move past missionary and into the land of pleasure. Out with the boring and in with the orgasmic! Below are some new positions to try out that are sure to bring both you and your partner some serious pleasure.

You can thank me later.

69
Oral sex is by far the best source of clitoral stimulation for women, and with 69, both partners (of any gender) are enjoying themselves.

CAT
A modified version of missionary position, the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT) is a position specifically designed to give women clitoral stimulation during sex. From Wikipedia: “The penetrating partner lies above the receiving partner as in the missionary position, but moves upward along the woman’s body, so that the base of the male’s penis provides stimulation to her clitoris. The receiving partner may also wrap her legs around his. Sexual movement is focused in the pelvises, without leverage from the arms or legs. The rocking upward stroke (receiving partner leads) and downward stroke (penetrating partner leads) of sexual movement builds arousal that partners let develop and peak naturally.” Yeah it all sounds sorta technical, but in the end you’ll be happy you put the effort in.

Girl on Top
When you climb aboard you can control the depth and speed of penetration, thus doing what makes you feel best. Plus, his hands are free to offer extra stimulation. Win-win!

Doggy Style With Paws
Doggy style is a great angle for G-spot stimulation. To make it even better for you, ask your man to use his hand (or just grab it and show him) to stimulate your clitoris at the same time.

You, Me, and the Machine
Find a small, easy to grib vibrator and take it to bed with you. I promise you, your partner will enjoy it just as much as you. You won’t be sorry!

What’s your favorite position?

A: You will be on display–and your boyfriend will be loving every minute of it. Part of the reason the girl on top position is often requested by guys is because it’s hot! And not just because it feels good or because sometimes guys want to just lay there–a lot of the appeal is that he gets to see you. All of you. And I can’t stress this enough–he wants to.

And it seems like you want to also. If you had written to me to say that he wants you on top but there’s nothing you hate more, then I might have told you that there’s no reason you need to do something in bed that you don’t like. But it seems like something you’re curious about, and you very may well like.

My advice: just do it.

First off, assuming you’ve had sex in any position, he’s seen pretty much all there is to see of you. You getting on top isn’t going to contort your body in such a way that he doesn’t recognize the hot body he loves. You can stand on your head, stand on his head, whatever–it’s still your body. Just like you won’t transform into Heidi Klum if you shag with him on top, you also won’t transform into an Unf**kable the moment you saddle up on top of him.

So saddle up already! There’s no amount of fretting about this that will make it easier. The great part about that is, once you get on top of him, five seconds later–that’s it, you’ve done it. You’re on top, and he’s seeing it all, and you never have to go through that “first time I get on top” scary feeling ever again. If you want to ease into it, wear some sexy, lacy, heart-stopping lingerie and keep it on when you first hop on top (this won’t work with a large t-shirt). And once you’re up there, I beg you, no strategic angling of your body and no hands over the tummy. If you’re going to do it, then do it 100% — don’t cheat yourself out of what may very well turn into your favorite position!

Readers–how do you ease into a body-baring position? Leave your tips in the comments!

Got a question for Pillow Talk? Email pillow.talk.cc@gmail.com and we’ll tackle it next Tuesday!

[Image via Reader's Digest]

There’s a few positions my boytoy and I absolutely looove that guarantee to keep our body heat blazing during those cold fall nights.

One great position that’ll get your temperatures rising is the spoon. This is perfect for when the two of you are just cuddling away under the blankets but still feel like getting frisky. While Cosmo recommends the dude half-kneel behind you, my guy and I like to just stay side by side with one of his hands on my waist to keep the rhythm. The guy lifting your top leg is optional too. If you don’t feel like having your leg dangling in the air, keep your legs down but knees slightly apart for a tighter fit. Instant warmth, no hot chocolate needed.

Still chilly? Time to heat things up with some shower sex! Sex in the shower is fun but a little tricky since there’s always the chance of one somebody slipping. The right position for this small space is debatable, but I found the best way is for the girl to be bent over with her hands on the walls for support while the guy stands behind her. You can also try with the girl’s back against the wall and one of her legs wrapped around the guy’s waist, but its harder for her to keep her balance. Any way you want to try, shower sex makes for a steaming hot time. With this combo of hot water and sweet lovin’, anyone can forget that fall is rolling on in.

When a cold night strikes, a little body heat can go a long way. Trying girl-on-top, with a twist, creates the perfect friction to keep you two toasty all night long. Instead of the girl sitting straight up, she can move so she is horizontally laying over the guy. Adding a blanket over the top creates a nice warm cave for the two of you, but with the heat of your bodies you might not even need it. Another variation is to have the man do most of the work by slightly raising his knees while the girl on top leans over him. No matter how your rubbing, you two will be creating your own fire in no time.

Just because its getting colder out doesn’t mean you have to stop the heat from your sex life! Go grab your boy and start warming up.