The phone rings, you see it’s your best friend calling. Expecting a hilarious story about the drunken memory you two had forgotten from the night before, you answer ecstatically. But instead she’s crying—blubbering, over her boyfriend and you realize where this conversation is going. We’ve all been there, on the crying end or the comforting end. While both positions are awful, there is something especially dire about telling your best friend that he didn’t call you back because he clearly has Aspergers. Or likes other guys. With this burden in mind let’s review some of the classic “what I say and what I really mean” lines we all tell our best friends.

“He’s just really, really busy right now!”

Why anyone believes us when we say these things is beyond me, but I guess we all just hear what we want to hear. When someone says that to you it obviously means that he doesn’t like you, he’s not calling you back and maybe you shouldn’t have introduced him to your parents three dates in.

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Lesson #35 – Girl Talk can kill your dating life

Sometimes as a single girl in college it feels like your dating life is split in two halves—one spent actually dating guys and the other spent in coffee shops with your girlfriends talking about dating said guys. So if half of our dating world is actually spent dating, what exactly is the other half spent on? I’d say probably too many lattes and not enough sensible advice. I’m as guilty as the next girl. I say I don’t want to talk about something and sure enough 20 minutes later, my friends have pulled it out of me and now I’ve somehow connected something as minute as my guy not noticing my new slingbacks to his daddy issues that I’ve now taken the liberty of convincing myself he has, even though he clearly doesn’t. So girls analyze their love lives, what’s new, right?

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With all the free time and sunshine that summer brings, there’s no better time to pile in the car with your friends and take a road trip. And there’s no better destination than a 3-day music festival. Is there anything better than lounging on a blanket, soaking up the sun and listening to your favorite songs!? I think not.

If you’ve got a little extra time on your hands this summer (or if you are desperate to get away from the overbearing parental units), there are plenty of music festivals you can hit up. All are awesome, all are chock full of some pretty great music, and all are a great way to reconnect with your college friends you had to leave behind when finals ended. Read More »

I’m new to writing this column, but I have to admit that I  already adore it. I’ve always loved being able to be open and honest about sex – sharing a bit of opinion and a bit of fact about what makes us tick sexually. But this week I’ve hit a snag. You see, pretty much everyone I know reads this column – my dad (hi dad!), his journalist friends, my family, my friends, and because I post links on my Facebook, there’s the potential for past teachers, my boyfriend’s family and family friends to read it too.

Of course, any kind of exposure is great, and I’m grateful that so many people are interested in reading my work, but then I realize – what am I comfortable with sharing? The short answer is really everything; I’m more than comfortable with my sexual proclivities.  But I keep remembering something my sex-columnist-hero, Dan Savage, has said many-a-time: there are some things that parents, teachers, and family friends have a right not to know. Read More »

Normally for the Weekly 10, I find myself counting down things that piss me off. You know, like phrases that suck and uninspired Halloween costumes. So I’ve decided to give you a mix tape for putting up with me airing my grievances Letterman-style.

However, this mixtape is extra mixy. I present to you: my top ten favorite mashups. Wikipedia defines a mashup as, “a song or composition created by blending two or more songs, usually by overlaying the vocal track of one song seamlessly over the music track of another.”  Basically smushing two songs together to make an even cooler one.

Yeah, I was inspired by last week’s episode of Glee; how could you not be? That show is so. damn. good.

Let me know if I missed any other greatness. Read More »

We’ve all played the typical card-related party games: Kings, F*** the Dealer, Up and Down the River. We’ve also played games that require plastic Solo cups and a lot of clean-up: Flip Cup, Beer Pong, Beirut. But there is still a world of party entertainment out there that remains in the shadows of these Drinking Game Giants.

Sure, you can play football, baseball, or basketball while under the influence, but you might find yourself missing the ball and falling over. The following are some tried and tested drinking games that will let you unleash your inner child… even though your ID reads 21+.

Jenga

Drinking Jenga, that is. Write some rules on each block, e.g. “Drink two,” “Pass out three,” or “Categories,” (feel free to hi-jack your favorite rules from Kings and its counterparts), and see how long it takes for your balance and your vision to be so blurred you can’t help but topple the tower. What makes this one so much fun? Place a yard cup in the center of the table, and invite everyone to pour their drinks in at their leisure, especially if everyone’s drinking something different. Whoever ends the game has to drink the alcohol soup in the cup.

Girl Talk

Dust off your seventh grade slumber party favorite and try playing it with booze. Instead of zit stickers, take a drink. You’ll be surprised how entertaining the “future cards” can be now that you’re all grown up…and half in the bag. If the GT dares aren’t thrilling enough, have everyone write down a few of their own dares and play. This one is great to play while leisurely sipping fruity cocktails. Read More »

It seems like just yesterday that I was anxiously twirling around in pink tights and a princess crown through some dirty frat house with my best friend Fiona dancing to “Everybody Dance Now,” eating chocolate mousse cake, and throwing my Steve Maddens at the boy who I didn’t know at the time would soon become my boyfriend, all in the name of my 20th birthday.

And now, a year has nearly passed, and I am about to turn the big 2-1. It is the day I can not only legally buy alcohol, but the day that all college students look forward to as their last passage into adulthood on campus (at least before senior year). It is the day that I can no longer get sent to student conduct council for underage drinking. The day I can walk up to the bar and order a mojito, legally. I no longer will have to worry about being carded when trying to order a drink somewhere. The day that I turn into a real adult – whatever that means – as decided by the world.

But really, how do I spend this occasion?

In my dream world, I would hire Girl Talk to do live mash-ups of Elton John, Britney Spears, and Guns N Roses while I dance alongside my best friends in dresses that aren’t just from H&M and Forever 21 in some sparkly New York City bar where we throw back pink cocktails in between cupcakes. But I don’t live in a dream world. In fact, I live in Roanoke, Virginia – which is as far from my dream world as I can get for my birthday, especially since there isn’t even a Forever21 of H&M for 60+ miles.

Although the reality of my 21st birthday may not sparkle in a New York City kinda way (however, my nails probably will in a cheap-nailpolish-glittery-concoction type of way), I am not going to let that stop me from having one of the best nights of my college experience. The question of how to do it, though – and not just do it, but do it well – plagues me. Read More »

2008 was a fabulous year in music. Which means it will also be a fabulous Christmas (or Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivous) for you if you know what to ask for. Here are the top 5 CDs I hope to find under my tree on Christmas morning…or, since it is 2008, the CDs I’ll buy with my iTunes gift card that’s in my Christmas stocking. Read More »

It’s summer.

Translation: I’m not doing sh*t.

Actually, that’s a huge lie. Instead of lounging like I would like to be, I’m working my ass off at a menial job making minimum wage. Hours upon hours of filing, sitting in front of a super-slow, super-irritating computer and returning home to do the same (with the addition of the roommates watching endless Friends re-runs as background noise) has turned me into a bit of a mindless drone. I have felt myself becoming lazier, smellier, dumber and well, wider.

My gym shoes have collected dust by the front door, right next to at least three garbage bags full of Keystone cans, Bud Light bottles and the occasional box of Carlo. My once-amazing gym habits (3x a week, alternating between running and the elliptical) have become practically non-existent. I even have a sweet new workout mix created on my iPod, but this has still not motivated me to actually go exercise.

But, I figure that there is always a bright side to every situation. Since I can’t actually find the energy to drag myself halfway across town to the gym, I decided that I can bring the exercise to me. But, with little cash and little-to-no motivation, what can a girl do to stay in shape? Read More »

Straight to Hell: The Clash

Does this song sound familiar? If you are a fan of MIA (and who isn’t these days?) then it should–she samples this, my favorite song of all time, on her catchy single Paper Planes. Straight to Hell most deftly and beautifully represents everything that makes the Clash so singular and so influential, mixing Joe Strummer’s rusty voice with clever world music instrumentation, wit, and a political message.

Once Again: Girl Talk

The music of Girl Talk reminds me of cheerleading remixes on crack, and I mean that in the very best way. If you aren’t familiar with Girl Talk, it’s basically a DJ named Greg Gillis who mixes, to unexpected delight, any number of seemingly disparate songs together to create a sort of fun, danceable Frankenstein. My favorite part? Mixing The Whisper Song with the Verve’s Bittersweet Symphony. Brilliant.

Machine Gun: Portishead

After 11 years, Trip Hop pioneers Portishead have finally come out with a new album, Third. Portishead was one of my favorite bands growing up, so I was absolutely delighted when they released a new album after so long and even happier when the album turned out to be really, really good.

For me, the band was most successful when they were at their heaviest and darkest, and Third is full of that density. The first single off of the album is the relentless track Machine Gun, which juxtaposes lead singer Beth Gibbons’ rich lilt with persistent and ominous synthesizers. It’s a mixture of hard and soft sounds that is Portishead’s trademark and its done to beautiful, poignant effect in Machine Gun. Read More »