A week or so ago, my friend's boyfriend of three and a half years broke up with her citing that he "wanted to experience college and allow her to do the same." Every day last week consisted of her crying.
Humans are a curious breed, always seeking explanations to questions that don't have definitive answers: What's the meaning of life? Is there life outside our universe? Are we exclusive, or what? This week, what role do labels play in relationships?
Talking, courting and dating is all fine and dandy – until you try to put a label on whatever it is that you’re doing. In my limited scope of experience, I’ve found that the “What are we?” question can either make or break a relationship.
When it comes to love, I’d say that it’s a grey concept. In other words, love isn’t black and white. Yes, I suppose that you either love someone or not, but what's important to remember is that love comes in many forms. While taking a sociology class, I studied Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of love, which posits that there are four main types of love: intimate, committed, and passionate, and consummate love.
When I first got together with my girlfriend, I told her I'd only slept with one other girl and one guy. When we first got together, I thought it would just be a short-term thing, because we're in college and that's what you do. Well it turns out she and I really love each other...
What's the difference between long-term exclusive hooking up, and being in a relationship? No, that's not a rhetorical question, I'm seriously asking, because it seems like the exact same thing.
Dear Tuffy Luv, I'm supposed to plan a date for my new-ish boyfriend (2 months, holla!). Help!
Sometimes when I don't want to have sex my boyfriend says we have to because he gets blue balls. I always go along with it but what is it exactly and how can I keep him from getting it in the first place?
So, I hooked up with my best friend's little brother...
I have been friends with a guy for a while now, and we've always gotten along fine and hang out often with a bunch of other friends.
Is being friends with your ex even possible? I mean, you've seen each other naked many, many times. You've opened up to each other about some weird stuff. And you once didn't know how you could live without him. I’m still pretty much trying to figure out the real answer to that question, but I’d like to think that, yeah, sometimes you can be friends with your ex.
I find myself between a rock and a hard place. My ex-boyfriend and I have turned friends with benefits. Me and my ex had dated for a year and a half, about half of the time we were at college in different towns. We started dating right after I came out of a long-term relationship that ended badly. In hindsight it was too soon for me to date again, but I was just glad to be moving on.
Every week, Tuffettes, I read your emails and I wish wish WISH people didn't cheat. Sometimes, as in Angry Bitterness's case, it's the guy cheating, and sometimes it's the girl cheating. Either way, I just want to scream--BREAK THE FLOOP UP!!! Wouldn't that be easier than sneaking around behind each others' backs?!
He is making a fool out of you. I mean, how many times do you have to catch the guy before you get it through your thick skull that you are allowing him to cheat on you?! He obviously has no respect for you.
I never thought I'd be writing you, but I've been reading your advice for quite some time and I think you might be the only person I trust to give this kind of advice. To sum up my situation, I have a best friend who I've had since my first semester of freshman year. This best friend of mine, P, has a girlfriend that he has been with for over two years. She doesn't go to our school and I've only met her once.
I've been dating this guy for 4 months (Yeah not long, and I have problems ALREADY!?) Anyway. I just recently found out he's been messaging his ex the whole time we've been together! But that's not the best part, SHE HAS A BF TOO!
Dear Tuffy Luv, I apologize in advance for this being long and probably confusing. Okay. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a couple months, and it's really great. We've always had a long distance relationship; a couple weeks after we started dating, he moved 5 hours away for an internship.
Dear Tuffy Luv, I've never wanted a relationship. I mean, I'm 19 years old, why should I? Now, dating, that's where it's at. But I keep finding myself in sticky situations. I'll be seeing a guy and he'll bring up the "exclusive" conversation when, wait a second, weren't we diggin' this whole casual thing two dates ago?
I'm suffering from heartbreak. My boyfriend is leaving me. Sort of. But only after I left him. Sort of...I'm suffering from heartbreak. My boyfriend is leaving me. Sort of. But only after I left him. Sort of...Here is my situation, I have the much coveted/dreaded position of broke but oh so sexy older musician's girlfriend. (He's 26, I'm 20). My man is a drummer, and a very talented one at that. Before I met him, he toured with a band for a few months around Europe. When I started dating him a year and a half ago, he was (and still is) in a local garage band with a couple friends, playing local shows recording a demo, and not really going anywhere besides that.
Dear Tuffy Luv, It's my freshman year of college and I started spending a lot of time with this boy on my floor. By a lot I mean we stay up until 3 a.m almost every night talking and he comes over to my room unannounced just to hangout, he texts me on weekends after I've gone out to hangout, and he flirts with me on the regular. Needless to say, I like him. The only issue is he has a girlfriend.
Relationships are great, there's always someone to give you attention, to go eat with, to be your date to parties, and so many more activities (wink wink, nudge nudge)! But somewhere along the relationship journey, it's easy to forget that you have friends that can do (most of) the same things your significant other can.
Common wisdom should tell you that movies and clubs are great places to take a first date. don't take your first date to any of the following places. But sometimes where you are and what you're doing plays a key role in whether things go well or not. However if you want to start a potential relationship off on the right foot, don't take your date to any of the following places.
Dear Tuffy Luv, My boyfriend has recently gone on a study abroad trip for the rest of the summer. He's only been gone a week, and already I've noticed how drastically our relationship has changed. For the first half of the summer, he always called many times a day and we visited each other every few weeks because we live in different states. But now that he's overseas, between the time difference and his busy schedule, there is no time for me!
Okay, so Cosmo recently paired up with AskMen.com and conducted the survey to end all surveys. That’s right, they asked the questions you’ve always wanted answered, but were too embarrassed/afraid/clueless to ask.
So you meet this guy. Yay! He seems really cool, you guys can talk, joy of joys! Visions pop up in your head of you two enjoying a picnic in the park, holding hands walking to class, maybe even him standing outside your window after a fight holding up a boombox (it doesn't matter where he got a boombox, the point is that he has it) that's playing "In Your Eyes."