Hey Dude,

I’ve done the Friends With Benefits thing, and, to say the least, I’m not cut out for it.  Now I have this amazing guy in my life who I consider my best friend, but I’m confused over how I’m supposed to know if he likes me as in a relationship sense or if he just wants to sleep with me.

He texts me quite often, even if just to say hi or to see what I’m up to, or make sure I’m feeling better when I’m sick.  We’ve gone out before with mutual friends and had a blast.  We’re both more of homebodies, so he comes over to my place now regularly and we hang out.  We’ve made out, but I end it before it goes any further because I don’t want the Friends With Benefits thing to happen.

So, how do I know?!

Thanks,
Confused Read More »

"I love beer....er... I mean you. I love you."

It’s pretty obvious that couples who share interests get along better. But what about vices? Does a love of trashy reality TV or boozing it up on the weekends make for a stronger pair? Yes, according to a study done by the University of Buffalo. In fact, the happiest couples of all are those with a shared love of hitting the bottle.

Basically, the couple who boozes together, cruises together.

That’s great news to us college students who love drinking almost as much as dating (okay, maybe we love it a little more). But now combining the two is a good thing? This is heaven to our horny, drunk ears. And, when you think about it, it all makes perfect sense:

Alcohol eases tension. What do we all do when we’re having a bad day/fuming mad? Yes, we pour ourselves a drink (then eat a brownie) and suddenly everything feels better. So obviously fights go away quicker in relationships when both couples love a little booze. You start fighting, you start drinking and soon no one remembers what you were fighting about in the first place.

Alcohol makes us tolerant. People are 50 times less annoying when we have a buzz on. The way he chomps on his food may drive you up the wall normally, but with some alcohol in our systems, those little pet peeves aren’t nearly as annoying. They might even be kinda cute (see #5 below). Read More »

I had him. And I pushed him away.

I moved to New York City for an internship a few months ago, completely unattached for the first time in what felt like forever. I was so happy to be living in one of the most exhilarating places on earth, independent and ready to have the best time of my life. I didn’t come to the city looking for anyone or anything, just to experience NYC in it’s fullest. I had no intention of dating. In fact, after the year I’d had, it was the last thing on my mind.

Of course, it’s always when you’re not looking that you find someone.

He was ideal in every way. Ivy league grad, held a great job, sweet, very athletic, great looking and he even liked decent music. Not to mention he took me out on real dates (not just guest swiping me into a dining hall), tried to kiss me in public, held my hand… he did everything right. Hell, he even extended his texting plan because I told him I preferred texting to phone calls.

But no matter what, I just couldn’t put my guard down. I flinched when he tried to kiss me in front of people and cringed when he started referring to us as “in a relationship.” I was still single on Facebook; didn’t that mean anything?

The more time we spent together, the further I pulled away. Maybe it was a function of our age difference, but I started to question if there was something wrong with me. I liked spending time with him and everything, but I wasn’t ready to be his girlfriend. After all the a-holes I’d been with who cheated on me, lied to me, used and under-appreciated me, you’d think I’d be jumping for joy for this guy. On the contrary, I was terrified. I didn’t and do not want a boyfriend and I’m not interested in experiencing committal at age 21. Words like “girlfriend” and “relationship” strike fear into my heart. Read More »

Closure. What does that term actually mean?

From conversations with my girl friends, I’ve deduced that “closure” is when you can finally move on from a failed relationship. My friends have described it as the feeling you get once you can finally put the relationship behind you and say goodbye to an ex for good.

But how do we get there? When does that come? And how do we know? Does closure really mean we have to say goodbye to move on? Does it imply that women must kick someone out of their lives to move on with their own?

Well if so, I’m screwed.

My ex-boyfriend and I have been broken up for years and he is still a sporadic fixture in my life. I met him in elementary school, fell in love with him when I was 16, and now I’m 21 and he is still around. He’s faded into the background a bit, but he’s most definitely still in the picture.

And despite having him around, I am honestly, 100% over him. After a few years of messy friendship and the occasionally stupid hook-up, I finally got over it (hallelujah!) and moved on. I slowly but surely pulled myself together and was happy being single and on my own. After that, I dated and even fell in love again. Read More »

Well ladies, since our lovely Dannia has been sharing her tales of the single life, I’m here to bring you the other half; the committed life. That’s right. I, Sarabeth, have a serious boyfriend while in college. Some may call me stupid, others crazy, but I like to think that I’m lucky.

Trust me, I’m not here to glamorize having a boyfriend or to make the single ladies feel bad. And believe me, I did NOT come to college for my MRS. degree. Quite the opposite, actually. I just feel that us long-term girlfriends seem to be a minority in college, and I’m here to give them a voice.

For one thing, having a college relationship is far from easy. My boyfriend, Matt, and I have been together for almost 2 years. There have been fights, sex droughts, upset friends, and jealous exes. But we’ve gone through a lot and I’m proud to say that he’s the one for me.

Sometimes I feel like I’m too young for this; like when I find out he’s been calling his mom to try to get his grandmother’s engagement ring and I’m on my couch watching reruns of Run’s House. Other times, I feel a million times older than my friends when I say I’m staying in to bake a casserole. But putting all that aside, what keeps me happy is knowing that we’re going to get through the tough stuff of our 20s together. Read More »

See, ladies; I told you this was a good idea.

There’s a great many things to do and places to see in this world of ours.  As humans, our lives are pretty short (and if you party like I do, it’s probably going to be even shorter).  So we have to prioritize!  We have brains for a reason and that reason is…reasoning (well, at least some of us use them for that purpose: see comment about partying above).  Let me be your voice of reason as I show you all the things you should be doing right here, right now.

Because I’m a totally mature and well-adjusted college student, I sometimes play games with my friends that involve saying awkward things at inappropriate times.  We do it for shock value and for the general entertainment of everyone involved (who doesn’t enjoy a good shouting match of “Penis!”?).  Recently, I tried to play a version of this game with my boyfriend while chatting innocently on AIM.  Here’s a basic outline of how it went:

Boyfriend: nap good?
Boyfriend: you got dinner soon right?
Me: if I were to have a threesome with you and one of your friends, it would so be Kenny
Boyfriend:first of all, wtf
Boyfriend:wtf wtf wtf wtf
Me: AHAHAHAAAA

This got me to thinking…about threesomes.  And about how I may have to tone down the randomness around the BF.  But mostly about the sex part.  Why not?  There are so many reasons to invite an extra player into your game (or even a couple extra players…the more the merrier, right?), especially if your boyfriend has hot friends.  Or your friends have some hot friends.  Or that guy opposite you at the bar has some hot friends.  You know, whoever floats your boat. Read More »

"So....maybe we could go out sometime?"

Sometimes I like to think I’m David Letterman, only with better teeth and less wrinkles. So, every week I write a top ten list of things that are super duper relevant and important. Like staying sober…and those celebs we love to hate.

This week, I’m breakin’ it down for the boys out there. Myself, and many CollegeCandies are not big fans of He’s Just Not That Into You. I do think the book has some valid points, but it’s way too over the top. So I’ve decided to write a rebuttal and tackle the ten signs that She’s Just Not That Into You.

Guys, take note! Read More »

When I tell people that my boyfriend is in the Army, I usually am met with the same response:

“Oooh really? I don’t know how you do it. I couldn’t be with someone in the military.”

I can understand why they feel that way. Being apart from the one you love for long periods of time gets really tough. Being in a military relationship is an emotional and patriotic combination of sacrifice and reward.

For all the time spent apart, the mind-racing anxieties, the minimal access to communication and the constant countdown to reunion, there are still the corresponding rewards that make it all worthwhile. After spending five months apart, with half the country’s states between us, we now get to finally live together. After worrying what it meant when I didn’t hear his voice for almost 12 days, I’ve learned how to be a stronger, independent individual. I know that in the Army, no news is good news. I have learned the importance of communication and how to maintain a strong connection through hand-written letters. Read More »

"I'm sorry, but all this crying is really a turn-off."

Okay, when it comes to relationships, we all know what not to do (despite the fact that when the time comes we often throw these notions out the window and become clingy, head over heels, I’m-going-to-talk-to-you-in-a-baby-voice, psycho GFs). And if we don’t, well, YourTango asked a guy to break it all down for us and explain just why guys dump us.

The list wasn’t groundbreaking (I mean, who wouldn’t break up with someone who never listens?), but it got me thinking about the reasons we ladies dump the dudes. Sure, everyone has their own specific reasons sometimes – like my friend who discovered her BF trying on her underwear… – but there are some pretty basic male tendencies that will get any guy kicked to the curb:  Read More »

When I first saw this video I LOLed.
In fact, I would have ROTFLed if my desk chair didn’t have armrests. And thank god it does, because my Swiffer broke and my floor looks and smells quite similar to a frat house right now.

Anyways, this collection of emails from a…confused….girlfriend is pretty classic. I’m not sure if I love it because this batsh*t crazy girl makes me look normal, or because it’s good knowing there are other girls out there who have crazy moments like me, but I do. I love it.

Tell me you can’t relate as this girl goes from love to deep (and drunken) loathing. Oh her poor boyf.