Hey Dude,

I’ve done the Friends With Benefits thing, and, to say the least, I’m not cut out for it.  Now I have this amazing guy in my life who I consider my best friend, but I’m confused over how I’m supposed to know if he likes me as in a relationship sense or if he just wants to sleep with me.

He texts me quite often, even if just to say hi or to see what I’m up to, or make sure I’m feeling better when I’m sick.  We’ve gone out before with mutual friends and had a blast.  We’re both more of homebodies, so he comes over to my place now regularly and we hang out.  We’ve made out, but I end it before it goes any further because I don’t want the Friends With Benefits thing to happen.

So, how do I know?!

Thanks,
Confused

Hey Hey Confused,

Tricky situation, but let me Nancy Drew this mystery and break down the facts. First off, the guy wouldn’t text you or care if you’re sick if he just wants to sleep with you. Although texting might seem like a cop-out, in this day and age it’s a perfect vehicle for chatting someone up. Who even uses AIM anymore? Remember those days?

Secondly, it’s really great that you’re not putting out right away. Props. Not only are you protecting yourself and your feelings, but that also proves that he wants something more if he’s sticking around. This has clearly been running it’s course for a while; if he just wanted to get laid he’d have gotten frustrated and given up a long time ago. Guys are simple that way. Sure, we’ll pursue something that we can’t have, but if we’re just looking for a quick lay, there’s not a chance that we’ll text incessantly and baby you if you’re sick.

That sounds like he wants girlfriend material, not a few humps in a twin extra long. And throw a few bonus points to the relationship column if he’s hanging out with you and your friends.

No need to be confused, Confused. It sounds like homeboy is just a bit shy. Maybe you should help him step it up a notch and move the hang-out sessions to your favorite sushi spot instead of your dorm room futon. Or, if he’s not into the whole raw fish thing, you could just have “the talk.” I’m pretty confident he’s feeling the same way you are.

Hope that helps!

– El Dude

[Got a question for Mr. Dude? (And, no, that doesn't include asking him out; homeboy is taken!) Ask it: askthedude@collegecandy.com. He won't sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. He'll be 100% real dude, 100% of the time. So bring it on, ladies.]

"I love beer....er... I mean you. I love you."

It’s pretty obvious that couples who share interests get along better. But what about vices? Does a love of trashy reality TV or boozing it up on the weekends make for a stronger pair? Yes, according to a study done by the University of Buffalo. In fact, the happiest couples of all are those with a shared love of hitting the bottle.

Basically, the couple who boozes together, cruises together.

That’s great news to us college students who love drinking almost as much as dating (okay, maybe we love it a little more). But now combining the two is a good thing? This is heaven to our horny, drunk ears. And, when you think about it, it all makes perfect sense:

Alcohol eases tension. What do we all do when we’re having a bad day/fuming mad? Yes, we pour ourselves a drink (then eat a brownie) and suddenly everything feels better. So obviously fights go away quicker in relationships when both couples love a little booze. You start fighting, you start drinking and soon no one remembers what you were fighting about in the first place.

Alcohol makes us tolerant. People are 50 times less annoying when we have a buzz on. The way he chomps on his food may drive you up the wall normally, but with some alcohol in our systems, those little pet peeves aren’t nearly as annoying. They might even be kinda cute (see #5 below).

Alcohol lets us kick back. It’s a known fact that happy couples have to take time to enjoy each other. When the couple is our age we do it a little more often than married couples, but it doesn’t make it any less important. Being able to let loose and have fun together is a vital part of any relationship, and what’s more fun than Jager bombs and a little Miley Cyrus dance party at the bar?

Alcohol makes us friendly. When you’re with someone, you’re with more than just them. And it’s not always easy to get along with everyone in your sig other’s life. But when alcohol’s involved, it’s smooth (drunken) sailing. You love anyone and everyone when you’ve had a few drinks and that includes his annoying fratty friends, his mother, his ex-girlfriend who doesn’t stop calling, and him (even after he forgot your birthday…for the 2nd year in a row).

Alcohol makes us horny. Alcohol not only increases libido, but it increases stamina, too. That means longer and more passionate sex. And that means a much happier couple. Duh.

I had him. And I pushed him away.

I moved to New York City for an internship a few months ago, completely unattached for the first time in what felt like forever. I was so happy to be living in one of the most exhilarating places on earth, independent and ready to have the best time of my life. I didn’t come to the city looking for anyone or anything, just to experience NYC in it’s fullest. I had no intention of dating. In fact, after the year I’d had, it was the last thing on my mind.

Of course, it’s always when you’re not looking that you find someone.

He was ideal in every way. Ivy league grad, held a great job, sweet, very athletic, great looking and he even liked decent music. Not to mention he took me out on real dates (not just guest swiping me into a dining hall), tried to kiss me in public, held my hand… he did everything right. Hell, he even extended his texting plan because I told him I preferred texting to phone calls.

But no matter what, I just couldn’t put my guard down. I flinched when he tried to kiss me in front of people and cringed when he started referring to us as “in a relationship.” I was still single on Facebook; didn’t that mean anything?

The more time we spent together, the further I pulled away. Maybe it was a function of our age difference, but I started to question if there was something wrong with me. I liked spending time with him and everything, but I wasn’t ready to be his girlfriend. After all the a-holes I’d been with who cheated on me, lied to me, used and under-appreciated me, you’d think I’d be jumping for joy for this guy. On the contrary, I was terrified. I didn’t and do not want a boyfriend and I’m not interested in experiencing committal at age 21. Words like “girlfriend” and “relationship” strike fear into my heart.

A few months of dating and he began to notice that I wasn’t breaking down and tried to convince me to be more “mushy.” I’m not mushy. I’m a sweet girl, I laugh and smile a lot. I love hugging people and I enjoy doing nice things. However, I’m far from romantic at this juncture in my life. Even the flowers he got me made me barf a little in my mouth.  He continued to refer to us being “in a relationship” and implying that we were boyfriend/girlfriend.

Finally, after realizing that I was simply leading this poor guy on, we had the talk. And it was weird. Not only because we did it at my favorite bar while sipping on overpriced martinis (that he paid for), but because it was total role reversal. I was telling him things that guys normally tell girls when they want them to stop being clingy or assume that they’re girlfriend material. I told him I wasn’t ready for a commitment, I wasn’t looking to be a girlfriend and I wanted to slow down and maybe make things on a more “as needed” basis. You know, the “we can still be friends…I’m emotionally challenged” speech. I’m sure you’ve heard it before, lord knows I have.

He said he wanted to think about it, that he wasn’t sure if a laid back thing was in his best interests. He left me a note in the morning on my bed (yes, I stupidly brought him home with me…) detailing that “dating without romance doesn’t come naturally to me” and that he was more interested in a relationship. Goodbye. Good luck. Etc.

And there I was, alone in my bed, totally confused.

Did I seriously just end things with an awesome guy just because he wanted to be romantic and be my boyfriend? Isn’t that what I’ve always wanted – someone who liked me and wasn’t afraid of showing it?

What’s wrong with me? How could I pass up something great? Am I shell-shocked from the ghost of relationships past? Am I destined to die completely alone (not even as a crazy cat lady because I just hate cats way too much)? Did I just pass on the last good guy on earth? And what do I do now?

How do I fix this?

Closure. What does that term actually mean?

From conversations with my girl friends, I’ve deduced that “closure” is when you can finally move on from a failed relationship. My friends have described it as the feeling you get once you can finally put the relationship behind you and say goodbye to an ex for good.

But how do we get there? When does that come? And how do we know? Does closure really mean we have to say goodbye to move on? Does it imply that women must kick someone out of their lives to move on with their own?

Well if so, I’m screwed.

My ex-boyfriend and I have been broken up for years and he is still a sporadic fixture in my life. I met him in elementary school, fell in love with him when I was 16, and now I’m 21 and he is still around. He’s faded into the background a bit, but he’s most definitely still in the picture.

And despite having him around, I am honestly, 100% over him. After a few years of messy friendship and the occasionally stupid hook-up, I finally got over it (hallelujah!) and moved on. I slowly but surely pulled myself together and was happy being single and on my own. After that, I dated and even fell in love again.

However, according to the unwritten Laws of Closure, I am not over him because he is still in my life. My friends are constantly worrying that he’s just trying to get me back and that I need to be rid of him to be truly over him, but that doesn’t seem right or fair to me.

I mean, come on, ladies – can’t we be strong enough to move on from a past relationship without disregarding the ex?

After all, we all learn from every relationship, good or bad, and in some ways are changed by it. It is impossible to be so open with and connected to someone without it altering us. Should we dismiss someone who helps shape who we become? And just because a relationship doesn’t work out, does that mean that no relationship with that person can? Being a boyfriend is a lot different than being a friend; why can’t we get closure and still hold onto the friend?

I’m sure that it’s a whole lot easier to pick up the pieces and move on after a break up without the other person around, but I am proof that it’s possible to move on and have your closure without banishing your ex to the island of failed relationships.

What do you think? What does it take to get a little closure around here?

Well ladies, since our lovely Dannia has been sharing her tales of the single life, I’m here to bring you the other half; the committed life. That’s right. I, Sarabeth, have a serious boyfriend while in college. Some may call me stupid, others crazy, but I like to think that I’m lucky.

Trust me, I’m not here to glamorize having a boyfriend or to make the single ladies feel bad. And believe me, I did NOT come to college for my MRS. degree. Quite the opposite, actually. I just feel that us long-term girlfriends seem to be a minority in college, and I’m here to give them a voice.

For one thing, having a college relationship is far from easy. My boyfriend, Matt, and I have been together for almost 2 years. There have been fights, sex droughts, upset friends, and jealous exes. But we’ve gone through a lot and I’m proud to say that he’s the one for me.

Sometimes I feel like I’m too young for this; like when I find out he’s been calling his mom to try to get his grandmother’s engagement ring and I’m on my couch watching reruns of Run’s House. Other times, I feel a million times older than my friends when I say I’m staying in to bake a casserole. But putting all that aside, what keeps me happy is knowing that we’re going to get through the tough stuff of our 20s together.

And there’s nothing wrong with finding your man in college. Despite being called a “disgrace to feminists everywhere” just because I’m not ashamed to admit that I love my boyfriend and will make decisions with him in mind,  I don’t see our relationship as “setting me back decades.” I invest heavily into my future career and have my own personal life with friends IN ADDITION  to making my man as happy as I can. Just for the record, I DO go out with my girlfriends on a regular basis, I DO take part in many on-campus activities, and I DO consider myself to be a very independent woman.

So, for as long as I have stories to tell, I will share my experiences with you all, because I know there are many of you who can relate with the ups, the downs and the changes that come in a long term relationship.

For you non-believers and nay- sayers, you can see that it really is possible to make it work!

See, ladies; I told you this was a good idea.

There’s a great many things to do and places to see in this world of ours.  As humans, our lives are pretty short (and if you party like I do, it’s probably going to be even shorter).  So we have to prioritize!  We have brains for a reason and that reason is…reasoning (well, at least some of us use them for that purpose: see comment about partying above).  Let me be your voice of reason as I show you all the things you should be doing right here, right now.

Because I’m a totally mature and well-adjusted college student, I sometimes play games with my friends that involve saying awkward things at inappropriate times.  We do it for shock value and for the general entertainment of everyone involved (who doesn’t enjoy a good shouting match of “Penis!”?).  Recently, I tried to play a version of this game with my boyfriend while chatting innocently on AIM.  Here’s a basic outline of how it went:

Boyfriend: nap good?
Boyfriend: you got dinner soon right?
Me: if I were to have a threesome with you and one of your friends, it would so be Kenny
Boyfriend:first of all, wtf
Boyfriend:wtf wtf wtf wtf
Me: AHAHAHAAAA

This got me to thinking…about threesomes.  And about how I may have to tone down the randomness around the BF.  But mostly about the sex part.  Why not?  There are so many reasons to invite an extra player into your game (or even a couple extra players…the more the merrier, right?), especially if your boyfriend has hot friends.  Or your friends have some hot friends.  Or that guy opposite you at the bar has some hot friends.  You know, whoever floats your boat.

At any rate, having tried the whole two-peen-for-the-price-of-one deal, I’d have to encourage you to get wild and try it out yourself.  There are no height requirements on this ride, my friends, so jump on (although you may want to stretch or something beforehand).  Here’s why you should be buying a king-sized mattress and planning an adult a sleepover:

Dorm Cred – If you live in a dormitory, you’re probably used to the Sunday morning exchange of stories from your wild weekends.  Well, what could top a great story about group sex?  Nothing, my friend.  Not even that story your roommate told about making out with her prof to bump that 3.5 to a 4.0.  If you’re a college-aged woman (or dude), then epic stories about parties, drinking, and sex are your currency.  And your story about your amazing threesome?  That’s pretty much like throwing down a crisp hundo while your friends are digging for dimes.

Experience - College is the time where you gain experience and knowledge you can use and build upon for the rest of your adult life.  Drinking and sex are also counted in this skill set.  In fact, I can’t think of any other skills that are more useful in life.  Having a group sex experience will definitely bump up your experience points.  Even if you’re awkward and immature in the bedroom at the best of times, after a threesome (or two), you’ll be walking with a new swagger (probably from a pulled muscle from all that sex, but whatever…it’s worth it) that you can carry with you past graduation.

Test Your Relationship – If you’re in a relationship and have the opportunity to share a threesome with your partner, then this is what could be called a “test of your relationship.”  It usually goes one of two ways:  you can become closer and cement your bond…or you might fall apart.  Sometimes a threesome is just a way for your partner to cheat on you while you’re in the room (or vice-versa).  Try to keep group sex as a tool for expanding your sexual horizons and spicing up your sex life, rather than an easy way out of a relationship.  At any rate, I promise you that you’ll learn something about your partner when there’s another naked person in bed with you.

Annoy/Confuse Your Roommate -  Now that fall semester has started and everyone has (mostly) settled into the rhythms of college life, some of you may be regretting your roommate decision.  What better way to annoy or confuse them than a rousing night of group sex?  Whether or not they are invited, I’m sure they’ll be adequately affected by the situation to make your point (dirty laundry goes in the hamper, not on the floor in front of my desk!).  Your sexual antics will also provide a memorable story for them to tell their next roommate…or your RA.  Good times.

More Flexibility – Trying to get everyone into position without spraining any genitalia is a task in itself during a threesome.  I could have used some pilates or yoga classes before I jumped into that situation.  Add more people and I can only imagine the flexibility needed to pull it all off.  However, after a couple of times bumping uglies with your homies, you’ll be bending and twisting like a Russian gymnast.  This will make traditional two-person encounters all the more exciting (especially for your lucky partner).

Increased Sexiness – Let’s face it:  group sex is an opulant, excessive taboo.  Threesomes are the things of which pornos and wet dreams are made.  Once you have an experience like that, you’re changed.  You’ve suddenly got a smoldering sexiness and increased confidence.  People will be drawn to you like moths to a sexy leg lamp.  Having a threesome is the equivalent of getting a mani/pedi, a cut and style, an amazing new LBD, and fabulous new shoes all in the same day:  you’ll feel amazing.  Who knew that you could save hundreds of dollars by just having more sex?

It’s Fun – Seriously…just do it.  You’ll see.

"So....maybe we could go out sometime?"

Sometimes I like to think I’m David Letterman, only with better teeth and less wrinkles. So, every week I write a top ten list of things that are super duper relevant and important. Like staying sober…and those celebs we love to hate.

This week, I’m breakin’ it down for the boys out there. Myself, and many CollegeCandies are not big fans of He’s Just Not That Into You. I do think the book has some valid points, but it’s way too over the top. So I’ve decided to write a rebuttal and tackle the ten signs that She’s Just Not That Into You.

Guys, take note!

10. She stops texting back.
No, my phone isn’t off. It’s never off. I mean, how else would I get Facebook updates 24/7? Not to mention my solitaire addiction. Unless you’re with a girl who doesn’t have a texting plan, she got your text message. If a girl likes you she will answer your text message, guaranteed. She also spent a good twenty minutes thinking up her forty character response.

If she’s just not that into you? You’ll get no response or “lol yeah” for an answer. For the record? “Lol yeah” is the kiss of death, homeboy. Please don’t text three times back to back. It’s desperate. No, I don’t want to hang out with you, and NO I don’t really have a boyfriend – I just said that because I didn’t want to tell you the harsh truth: you’re a straight up creeper and you’re in my address book as “Weirdo Scumbag.” Get the hint.

9. She avoids physical contact at all costs.
PDA is gross. Hand holding can be stupid. If we are rejecting even kisses on the cheek or flinch when your leg brushes against us? Yeah, it’s hairy and kinda gross, but there’s something more: you’re in the “friend zone.” 

8. She’s. Not. Amused.
If we like you, no matter how stupid and corny your jokes are, we’ll laugh. Oh yeah, we will. Even if we just giggle and say, “that’s cheesy,” girls will still make a point to smile, even at the corniest of jokes.
EXAMPLE:
Boy-toy: How do you keep a rhinocerous from charging?
Girl: I don’t know, how?
Boy-toy: You take away his credit card!
Girl (over-enthusiastically): HAHAHA omigod you have such a good sense of humor!
Boy-toy (thinking): I know, right? Ugh I am the MAN! That joke is effin’ hilarious!

7. She talks about other cute boys, crushes and dates in front of you.
No brainer. Enjoy hearing, “No, he’s just my good friend.”

6. You don’t know if her family/friends like you.

Here are some tip-offs:

- She hasn’t introduced you to her circle of friends or family.
- She hasn’t brought you home.
- She doesn’t talk about you to her mom.
- She doesn’t talk about you to anyone.
- Even her beloved pekingese puppy (who she tells everything to) hasn’t heard your name.

She’s just not that into you. Neither is her fluffy pooch.

5. She doesn’t freak out about things.
You’re going out with another girl. Go ahead! You think her best friend’s hot? She asks if you want her number. You didn’t call her back because you thought you were playing “hard to get”? She doesn’t even mention it. Didn’t remember her birthday? Big deal, it’s just a birthday. You blew her off last minute for a formal? Awesome, because you were the fifth person she asked and that hottie in Chem 101 just became available. You’re a last resort, sorry!

4. She talks openly about bodily functions.
She doesn’t try and cover up the nasty noises that come out of her after eating too many two dollar tacos. She challenges you to burping contests. You’re more familiar with her digestive tract than your own. Gross. She’s not that into you….but she should be into some Pepto-bismol.

3. She’s got a boyfriend/fiancée/husband/ex that she’s sleeping with.
She’s attached. Odds are high that she won’t dump Mr. Whoever for you. She might even be lying about a boyfriend to get rid of you. Not that I’ve used that line before… or like… this morning. Oops.

2. She’s really busy with school/work/feeding her goldfish.
If a girl likes you, she will always make the time for you, every damn day. There is not one single chica on this planet who can’t carve out a measly five minutes of her day to contact you in some shape or form. You deserve better, don’t be last on her “to-do list” right under “re-organize all the Tupperware in my apt.”

1. She doesn’t Facebook you back.
Might sound stupid, but this is HUGE. With the way technology is today, Facebook is as available to everyone as text messaging. Not to mention, girls LOVE Facebook. If she can take the time to become a fan of Brody Jenner, she can take the time to write on your wall, message you back or poke you in a timely manner. And if she hearts you, she will want everyone on FB to know.

When I tell people that my boyfriend is in the Army, I usually am met with the same response:

“Oooh really? I don’t know how you do it. I couldn’t be with someone in the military.”

I can understand why they feel that way. Being apart from the one you love for long periods of time gets really tough. Being in a military relationship is an emotional and patriotic combination of sacrifice and reward.

For all the time spent apart, the mind-racing anxieties, the minimal access to communication and the constant countdown to reunion, there are still the corresponding rewards that make it all worthwhile. After spending five months apart, with half the country’s states between us, we now get to finally live together. After worrying what it meant when I didn’t hear his voice for almost 12 days, I’ve learned how to be a stronger, independent individual. I know that in the Army, no news is good news. I have learned the importance of communication and how to maintain a strong connection through hand-written letters.

By investing time and energy into such a challenging situation, I have come out the other side with a newly earned title. I am an Army Girlfriend. I serve alongside my man by staying strong and carrying on. I do things on my own, for myself, with no one’s help. Are all the difficulties of a military relationship worth it, you ask? I say, if it’s the right person, then you would do whatever it takes. It’s like sacrificing an hour on the treadmill so that you can enjoy an Apple Fritter from Starbucks. Sure, that hour on the treadmill is challenging, sometimes painful, seemingly never-ending and you always end up staring at the display to watch the minutes slowly tick by. But when you do finally get off, you’re so much stronger and proud of yourself for not giving up…and now you get your reward.

Yes, I just likened my boyfriend to an Apple Fritter.

So, with that said, I could not be more proud to be with a military man. His trials, tribulations, challenges and sacrifices inspire me every day to be a better person and a more confidant woman. Next time you see a man in uniform, don’t just ogle at how great his ass looks in those ACUs. Feel free to approach him and thank him for his service. Or pay for the latte that the soldier behind you in line at Starbucks is waiting to order. Show your appreciation for our men and they will fight for you in return. Believe me, those little gestures can mean the world. And if a military man asks you out on a date, don’t run away for fear of falling in love with someone that you may have to part with. Do yourself, and America, a favor and dive right on in.

Besides, the treadmill may suck at times, but at least you will always fit into your favorite pair of camo boy shorts.

Yes, I just likened my relationship to fitting into a pair of shorts. But why not? They both make me feel really, really good.

"I'm sorry, but all this crying is really a turn-off."

Okay, when it comes to relationships, we all know what not to do (despite the fact that when the time comes we often throw these notions out the window and become clingy, head over heels, I’m-going-to-talk-to-you-in-a-baby-voice, psycho GFs). And if we don’t, well, YourTango asked a guy to break it all down for us and explain just why guys dump us.

The list wasn’t groundbreaking (I mean, who wouldn’t break up with someone who never listens?), but it got me thinking about the reasons we ladies dump the dudes. Sure, everyone has their own specific reasons sometimes – like my friend who discovered her BF trying on her underwear… – but there are some pretty basic male tendencies that will get any guy kicked to the curb: 

1. Our Friends Don’t Like You
Sorry, but our BFF’s opinions reign supreme to even our parents, and their approval means everything to us. If our friends think you’re ugly, weird, or have the personality of “a wet noodle” (of course no one has ever said this about someone I’ve dated…), you’re a goner for sure.  We may be blinded by lust, but that’s why we keep the girls around.

2. We Are Bored
Dinner is nice, so is a movie. But the same dates weekend after weekend get old….fast. We’re college students for God’s sake, not a married couple with a 10PM bedtime and a babysitter at home! If you can’t continue to show us a good time, there’s a campus full of cuties around who will. Maybe we’ll call in ten years when a glass of wine and an episode of “Friends” turn us on.

3. “Who Are You Texting?!”
We had a life before you, and life will go on after you. We are not going to delete our whole address book or stop hanging with other people just because we are dating someone. Insecurity is a huge turn-off to us girls, so trust us or you’re gonna end up alone.

4. You Turn into the Hulk Around Your Friends
We get you have a male ego to maintain, but when you bring us around your friends we don’t automatically morph into a beer guzzling frat boy. Dirty jokes? Acceptable. Pong tournaments? If we can play and kick your ass. But when you start slapping our backs, getting wasted and hanging all over the blonde on the couch, that’s where we draw the line. We can hang with the guys, but we still want to be treated like the girlfriend that we are. Holding the door and offering to get us another drink wouldn’t be a bad idea either.

5. You Cry After Sex, During Sad Movies, When You See Road Kill…
A little sensitivity is a great quality, and by that we mean a hug when we bomb our midterm, some flowers when our childhood pet passes away, and a massage after a week of hell at work. What we don’t mean is tears. And snot. And weeping. It might be perpetuating the “macho man” stereotype, but, sorry, that’s what we want in a guy.

6. You Turn Into Our Dad When We Go Out
Yes, I am going to have another martini. I am going to dance on the bar if I want to. And no this skirt isn’t too short. If I wanted my every move monitored I would have invited my dad out for drinks! Nothing is more annoying than a clingy boyfriend who tries to outfit you in a penguin suit and have you sent off to the convent when you start dating. As long as we aren’t in serious danger, let us live a little. If you tighten that chain too much, we’ll suffocate, and by that we mean dump you!

7. We Feel Unappreciated

We hate (more than you even know) to sound like our mothers, but its inherent in our nature. When we cook dinner for you, we want to know how good it is. When we go out in our new little black dress, we want to know how good it looks. And when we call you at the end of the day, we want to know how much you miss us (in a manly, macho, take charge kind of way). If we don’t feel appreciated, we are going to look elsewhere for the gratification, like the rugged rugby player who always notices the way we smell in class….

What other things do boys do that have them scratched right off your date-worthy list?

When I first saw this video I LOLed.
In fact, I would have ROTFLed if my desk chair didn’t have armrests. And thank god it does, because my Swiffer broke and my floor looks and smells quite similar to a frat house right now.

Anyways, this collection of emails from a…confused….girlfriend is pretty classic. I’m not sure if I love it because this batsh*t crazy girl makes me look normal, or because it’s good knowing there are other girls out there who have crazy moments like me, but I do. I love it.

Tell me you can’t relate as this girl goes from love to deep (and drunken) loathing. Oh her poor boyf.