Closure. What does that term actually mean?

From conversations with my girl friends, I’ve deduced that “closure” is when you can finally move on from a failed relationship. My friends have described it as the feeling you get once you can finally put the relationship behind you and say goodbye to an ex for good.

But how do we get there? When does that come? And how do we know? Does closure really mean we have to say goodbye to move on? Does it imply that women must kick someone out of their lives to move on with their own?

Well if so, I’m screwed.

My ex-boyfriend and I have been broken up for years and he is still a sporadic fixture in my life. I met him in elementary school, fell in love with him when I was 16, and now I’m 21 and he is still around. He’s faded into the background a bit, but he’s most definitely still in the picture.

And despite having him around, I am honestly, 100% over him. After a few years of messy friendship and the occasionally stupid hook-up, I finally got over it (hallelujah!) and moved on. I slowly but surely pulled myself together and was happy being single and on my own. After that, I dated and even fell in love again. Read More »

Well ladies, since our lovely Dannia has been sharing her tales of the single life, I’m here to bring you the other half; the committed life. That’s right. I, Sarabeth, have a serious boyfriend while in college. Some may call me stupid, others crazy, but I like to think that I’m lucky.

Trust me, I’m not here to glamorize having a boyfriend or to make the single ladies feel bad. And believe me, I did NOT come to college for my MRS. degree. Quite the opposite, actually. I just feel that us long-term girlfriends seem to be a minority in college, and I’m here to give them a voice.

For one thing, having a college relationship is far from easy. My boyfriend, Matt, and I have been together for almost 2 years. There have been fights, sex droughts, upset friends, and jealous exes. But we’ve gone through a lot and I’m proud to say that he’s the one for me.

Sometimes I feel like I’m too young for this; like when I find out he’s been calling his mom to try to get his grandmother’s engagement ring and I’m on my couch watching reruns of Run’s House. Other times, I feel a million times older than my friends when I say I’m staying in to bake a casserole. But putting all that aside, what keeps me happy is knowing that we’re going to get through the tough stuff of our 20s together. Read More »

See, ladies; I told you this was a good idea.

There’s a great many things to do and places to see in this world of ours.  As humans, our lives are pretty short (and if you party like I do, it’s probably going to be even shorter).  So we have to prioritize!  We have brains for a reason and that reason is…reasoning (well, at least some of us use them for that purpose: see comment about partying above).  Let me be your voice of reason as I show you all the things you should be doing right here, right now.

Because I’m a totally mature and well-adjusted college student, I sometimes play games with my friends that involve saying awkward things at inappropriate times.  We do it for shock value and for the general entertainment of everyone involved (who doesn’t enjoy a good shouting match of “Penis!”?).  Recently, I tried to play a version of this game with my boyfriend while chatting innocently on AIM.  Here’s a basic outline of how it went:

Boyfriend: nap good?
Boyfriend: you got dinner soon right?
Me: if I were to have a threesome with you and one of your friends, it would so be Kenny
Boyfriend:first of all, wtf
Boyfriend:wtf wtf wtf wtf
Me: AHAHAHAAAA

This got me to thinking…about threesomes.  And about how I may have to tone down the randomness around the BF.  But mostly about the sex part.  Why not?  There are so many reasons to invite an extra player into your game (or even a couple extra players…the more the merrier, right?), especially if your boyfriend has hot friends.  Or your friends have some hot friends.  Or that guy opposite you at the bar has some hot friends.  You know, whoever floats your boat. Read More »

"So....maybe we could go out sometime?"

Sometimes I like to think I’m David Letterman, only with better teeth and less wrinkles. So, every week I write a top ten list of things that are super duper relevant and important. Like staying sober…and those celebs we love to hate.

This week, I’m breakin’ it down for the boys out there. Myself, and many CollegeCandies are not big fans of He’s Just Not That Into You. I do think the book has some valid points, but it’s way too over the top. So I’ve decided to write a rebuttal and tackle the ten signs that She’s Just Not That Into You.

Guys, take note! Read More »

When I tell people that my boyfriend is in the Army, I usually am met with the same response:

“Oooh really? I don’t know how you do it. I couldn’t be with someone in the military.”

I can understand why they feel that way. Being apart from the one you love for long periods of time gets really tough. Being in a military relationship is an emotional and patriotic combination of sacrifice and reward.

For all the time spent apart, the mind-racing anxieties, the minimal access to communication and the constant countdown to reunion, there are still the corresponding rewards that make it all worthwhile. After spending five months apart, with half the country’s states between us, we now get to finally live together. After worrying what it meant when I didn’t hear his voice for almost 12 days, I’ve learned how to be a stronger, independent individual. I know that in the Army, no news is good news. I have learned the importance of communication and how to maintain a strong connection through hand-written letters. Read More »

"I'm sorry, but all this crying is really a turn-off."

Okay, when it comes to relationships, we all know what not to do (despite the fact that when the time comes we often throw these notions out the window and become clingy, head over heels, I’m-going-to-talk-to-you-in-a-baby-voice, psycho GFs). And if we don’t, well, YourTango asked a guy to break it all down for us and explain just why guys dump us.

The list wasn’t groundbreaking (I mean, who wouldn’t break up with someone who never listens?), but it got me thinking about the reasons we ladies dump the dudes. Sure, everyone has their own specific reasons sometimes – like my friend who discovered her BF trying on her underwear… – but there are some pretty basic male tendencies that will get any guy kicked to the curb:  Read More »

When I first saw this video I LOLed.
In fact, I would have ROTFLed if my desk chair didn’t have armrests. And thank god it does, because my Swiffer broke and my floor looks and smells quite similar to a frat house right now.

Anyways, this collection of emails from a…confused….girlfriend is pretty classic. I’m not sure if I love it because this batsh*t crazy girl makes me look normal, or because it’s good knowing there are other girls out there who have crazy moments like me, but I do. I love it.

Tell me you can’t relate as this girl goes from love to deep (and drunken) loathing. Oh her poor boyf.

This Week’s Article: How To Trick Your Girlfriend Into Marrying You on ehow.com.

This week’s article explains how men can trick their girlfriend into marrying them. I think we can all agree tricking someone into marrying you is not a good idea, and I’m not sure why some guy needs to rope some chick into being his wife, but I never claimed to understand the mind of a man. If I did, well, we wouldn’t be here, would we?

Let’s see what these “men” have to say.

EHow says: “When you learn how to trick your girlfriend into marrying you, then you don’t have to stress going after the women of your dreams. Now all you have to do is find her and play the game until your wedding day.”

I say: Well, that explains it. Men need to trick women into marrying them so they don’t have to deal with being rejected by people they actually like. Awesome. Way to go, guys. I think it’s safe to say than any sane woman should never, ever marry someone who is “playing the game,” but some guys just play it oh. so. well. Especially thanks to guides like these ones. Read More »

Ah, the LDR . . . it’s one of the most talked-about relationship types ever, and for good reason—there’s just so much to say about it. Should you do it? Shouldn’t you? For some people, it’s not so bad, and for others, it’s absolutely never going to work. But if you find the right person and it just happens to be the wrong time in your life to physically be in the same place, is an LDR worthwhile? Here’s a breakdown of the pros and cons:

ADVANTAGES

Be a total pig: If you’re not exactly Mr. Clean, your significant other never needs to know unless he or she comes to visit, in which case you can do a total sweep of the house in time for the arrival. In fact, it’s easy to cover up a lot of bad habits if you’re in a long-distance relationship. As long as you can hold off pounding down the Cheetos or compulsively biting your nails for the short times when you do actually see the person you’re dating, you can otherwise freely indulge in your vices.

Time for yourself: This is a biggie. If you still like to hit up the bar with your friends or spend all your spare time watching college football games, there’s no boyfriend or girlfriend to stop you in an LDR. In a way, it’s the best of both worlds—you get to date a great person while still enjoying one of the biggest benefits of being single: time. Read More »

[Got a question?! Get an answer!! To be featured in Tuffy Luv’s weekly column, just shoot her a lil ol email at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and shiz.]

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Summer date ideas? Thanks, Tuffy!

Olivia

P.S. Cheap ones would be good because I’m still in college! Thanks!

Dear Olivia,

Do I have some ideas for you? Answer: Yes. Yes, I do.

(1) Go Swimming

Find out where the neighborhood pool is. (Even better if you can find a neighborhood beach!!) Slather each other with sunblock and head over for a guilt-free indulgence. Yeah, you’ll have to put up with all the neighborhood kids, but it’s so much cuter that way, anyway. At the end of the day, when you’re done splashing and sunbathing, take a cool nighttime walk home.

(2) Paint Each Other

Pick up some cheap supplies (don’t worry about quality here–this is just for fun) and paint pictures of each other. Laugh hysterically at what you each come up with–and compliment each other for seeing things other people would never have seen. Got a little messy? Shower’s this way…

(3) Have a Neighborhood Date

Do all the stuff you’d do if you were visiting your town. Do the local tourist attractions (no matter how lame). Look in the paper and find events. Spend the whole day like you were on vacation in your own town. Eat at the neighborhood favorite. And then go home and finish the vacation with dessert! (Winkyface.)

Read More »