I’ve been dating this boy for about two months. He’s great, and so far things have been going really well. We spend a lot of time together without getting sick of each other, but haven’t meshed into a creepy and mushy single being like some couples are prone to. He makes me laugh, although it’s usually more at him than with him. He’s GREAT in bed. But best of all, I just feel comfortable with him. I’m not constantly paranoid about checking my makeup or trying to force witty conversation. I can be completely me, and he likes me more for it.

It’s perfect, right?
Not quite.

He has an ex-girlfriend. Not just any ex-girlfriend, THE ex-girlfriend. His first love, the only serious relationship he’s ever had, the girl he was with for his entire college life, the girl his parents thought he would marry. The girl who broke his heart and destroyed his life, but with all the best intentions. The girl who was such a big part of his life that they still talk almost every day. The girl whose mother still tells him he’s the son she never had. The girl he calls when he has a fight with me and needs to sort stuff out.

Of all the ex-girlfriends out there, this one is definitely the most intimidating. How do I compete with this girl who was so perfect? Is he over her? Why aren’t they still together? What if she doesn’t like me, or tries to sabotage this? Read More »

We all know that it’s horribly wrong to hook up with your friend’s boyfriend. Or the guy she likes. Or the guy she hooks up with every weekend. But when exactly does a guy from your friend’s past come back onto the market? It’s easy to say that exes are off limits, but in today’s relationship scene, where hooking up is more common than actual dating, it’s tough to draw exact boundaries.

I have a friend who “claims” guys. She sees him, she likes him, she claims him; and that’s it, no one else can ever touch him (even if nothing happened between them).  I have other friends who have all hooked up with the same guys and have no qualms about discussing it with each other. Both of these are extremes — but what makes girls think they have the right to “claim” a guy in the first place? Why should you be able to dictate who a guy you had no serious emotional connection to dates?

The truth is that girls (and guys to an extent) are just jealous of each other by nature. Read More »