Newt Gingrich thinks Brad Pitt should play him in a movie.

Do teen girls need more “protection“?

Miley Cyrus bought a new car… with cash.

Look cute while watching the Superbowl.

7 perfect V-day gifts!

Are your psychological problems determined by your favorite princess?

Movies girls love!

How does stress effect your skin… and your confidence?

We’ve seen them all: Sh*t Girls Say, Sh*t Black Girls Say, Sh*t Gay Guys Say, etc. There a have been tons and tons of videos uploaded to YouTube in the past couple of weeks that have truly made us laugh, and mainly because they are so relatable (my favorite being Sh*t Single Girls Say). But what goes up, must come down, and I think it might be overkill now. I don’t know about you, but it’s getting a little tired, and I think it’s time to put these videos to rest. So I have complied the best, the worst, the funniest, the stupidest, the hilarious, and the completely inaccurate all into one post. Get it all out now, guys. This is your final binge on Sh*t ____ Says videos. Enjoy!

Katie is finishing up her undergrad at North Central College in Naperville, Illinois. She enjoys wasting hours on Facebook and tweeting things no one cares about. When asked the question, “Do you do marathons?” She promptly responds, “Of course! Which show?” Follow her @KatieGarrity!

Then we turn to our best friend for advice, and of course she proceeds to ask you the very same questions you asked yourself. As the cycle of self-incrimination continues, we realize we’ve taken the guessing game way too far, far to a point where we almost don’t even remember what the guy in question even looks like anymore.

Then one day, I got sick and tired of the blame game and decided to come up with my own reasons for why guys don’t call us back.

1. You know what they say, girls mature faster than guys do. So in this case, he prematurely assumed that I was looking for a wedding ring and an indefinite life commitment that sent him running scared.

2. He’s a jerk.

Okay so maybe my list is a bit premature. This guy seems to have all the answers though! He’s a dating and relationship coach who has finally revealed all the reasons why guys fall flat on the communication tip. With all of us girls playing Guesstures all the time, it’s refreshing to hear what a guy has to say about why they won’t call back. Read his thoughts here.

I mean, what is not to love about Halloween? It is a night of pure debauchery devoted to stuffing your face with Twix’s and candy corn without guilt, wearing the sluttiest of slutty costumes without shame, and inevitably hooking up (a man in a mask? yum.) without judgment due to all the socially acceptable scantily clad outfits.

Halloween is basically one long session of foreplay. Only bummer about the best day of October is the walk of the shame the next morning. Maybe you thought the Lady Gaga costume was a good idea for the 31st, but you may not think so while you’re walking home the next morning in a bright blue pantless body suit with smeared eyeliner and glitter all over your face.

So to avoid being the solo slut this Hallow’s Eve, dress up in a group costume with your friends so you can walk home together.

Group costumes are interactive, more creative than the insert Sexy in front of anything costume, (ex: sexy nurse, sexy teacher, sexy plumber, sexy firefighter, sexy scuba diver, sexy nun?), and ideal for a quality Facebook profile pic.

So here are our top ideas for this year:

The Cast of the Jersey Shore
This one is just obvious. Someone could dress up solely as Snooki’s guidette puff or Situation’s abs, but all you really need for this epic coed group costume is some self tanner, douchetastic tshirts (for tshirt timeeee) or a boobtastic dress and some high quality hair gel or a bump-it. Put it all together and you’re officially descendants of everyone’s favorite shore. If you really want to go the extra mile, you can actually buy Snooki, Pauly D, and The Situation costumes from Ricky’s or Spirit Halloween. And if you’re already a self-proclaimed guido or guidette, just go as you are and fist pump the night away. (Just make sure to GTL before you go, of course.) And lastly, if you’re Pauly D… then well all know you’ll be dressed up as yourself dressed up.

Beer Pong Game/Team
Interactive, relateable, and full of balls. Sounds perfect, right? Buy the costume or make your own, but a beer pong team is the perfect drinking focused group costume. You need many people to make this costume a reality: refs, red cups, ping pong balls, drunk frat guys and sorority girls, and obviously… beer.

Katy Perry and her California Gurls
This song and music video made every guy’s fantasy come true as soon as whipped cream flew out of Katy Perry’s boobs. You don’t even have to be from California to pull off this Candyland-inspired costume. All you and your group of gals need are sparkly daisy dukes, cupcake bras, and bright wigs. Extra points if you find a guy man enough to wear a suit of candy and carry a pimp cane like Snoop.

Alcoholic Beverages
The possibilities are endless. This may just be the best DIY group costume out there.
Margarita/Corona= A feisty Spanish costume! Grab a sombrero and you’re good to go. Stay focused and only drink tequila all night.
Bloody Mary = Traditional catholic school girl outfit meets serial killer. Dress up in the cliché costume but add fake blood and wounds all over.
Red Headed Slut = Find your closest ginger friend, cause this one is all hers.
White Russian = White dress, snow boots, and a Russian white toggle hat. Anything Soviet related works.
Lemon Drop = Easy. Yellow dress. Maybe carry a lemon or two.
Manhattan = I <3 NY shirt. Done. Or dress up as one of the Sex & The City girls.
Kamikaze = Wear a pilot costume or air force costume and just run into people all night long.
Skinny Bitch = If you’re skinny and a bitch, then you pretty much have this one wrapped up. You know who you are.
Pink Panty Dropper = Wear leggings and a bright pink thong over them around your knees all night. Be careful though, this costume tends to stop being a costume after a while… and just starts being real life.
Champagne = Wear the flashiest dress you can find and put on a New Year’s hat. Toast all night long. Pop them bottles with pride.
Captain Morgan = Pirate costume and the pose. Plus, you get to carry a sword.
Shirley Temple = make the biggest alcoholic in the group dress up like the 4-year-old actress

Disney Princesses
I don’t know how such sweet fairy tales got turned into every guy’s fantasy, but I like it. There is a Disney princess for basically every type of girl. Who knew Walt was so dirty?

Holidays
Celebrate the best holiday by dressing up as all the other holidays!
Christmas = Mrs. Clause, an elf, or wrap a box in wrapping paper, cut out arm holes, and be a present!
Fourth of July = For the true American girl. Wear an American flag bandana, daisy dukes, and cowboy boots….or just go as Sarah Palin. Cause what is more American than her?
St. Patrick’s Day = Dress up as a leprechaun or just drink more aggressively than every other person all night. Irish car bombs should be your drink of choice.
New Years: Put on your best party dress and a New Years hat!
Valentine’s day = Cupid costume. A bow and arrow is clearly necessary.
Easter = For the girl who secretly really wants to wear that sexy playboy bunny costume.
Mardi Gras = Put on a masquerade mask, wear feathers, a purple or green boa and you’re set.
Earth Day = For the hippie/bohemian of the group. Dress like you’re at Woodstock. Wear tie-dye, a headband, and hold up the peace sign all night.
Cinco de Mayo = same as the Margarita costume from above!

Need some more inspiration? We got you covered.

What are your awesome group costume ideas? From sexy to slutty to funny, we want to hear them!

Ever feel like you’re the only one sitting on the couch, mindlessly staring at the TV with no idea what’s going on? Are phrases like “point conversion”, “fumble” and “fourth down” completely foreign to you? Well have no fear, here are a few simple things to keep in mind so that you can keep your head afloat during College Football Saturdays. Grab the chips and dip, and prep yourself for kickoff!

To start off, here are some fun facts about football. The field is measured in yards, 100 yards long, but 120 including both end-zones. The Pittsburgh Steelers have won more Super Bowls than another other team in the history of the NFL. The ’72 Miami Dolphins are the only team to achieve a “perfect season” (meaning no losses throughout the entire time), though the New England Patriots had a perfect regular season (their only game loss was in the Super Bowl itself) in 2007. It began based on the rules of rugby and soccer combined, but the first real football game (the way we know football now in the USA) was played between Princeton and Rutgers in 1869 (Rutgers has since commemorated the game field by making it a big, beautiful… parking lot). I could go on and on with boring stats and scores that are floating in my head, but I promise that I’ll spare you.

Unfortunately, there isn’t any technology to translate exactly what John Madden is muttering about while he comments on the game, but if you’re lucky enough that he lets someone else get a word in edgewise, here are some basic terms that can help you navigate the game like a pro.

Coin Toss: This is a literal coin toss used to decide which team starts on which side of the field. The home team captain gets to call head or tails and they can pick whether or not they would like possession of the ball first or whether they want to have a choice on their side of the field.

Kickoff: This occurs (at a minimum) twice throughout the game, once after the coin toss and once after half time. Each team brings out their special team and kicker to begin the half of the game. It also occurs after touchdowns or field goals are scored.

Touchdown: A touchdown occurs when a player carries the ball over the end line into the end zone. It is worth 6 points without a conversion.

Point Conversion: A point conversion occurs after a touchdown is scored. The team who just scored has one play to either kick the ball into the uprights (for an additional point) or run the ball over the end line again for an additional two points.

Interception: When one team is throwing a pass to one of their teammates and someone from the opposite team snatches it instead.

Fumble: No, it’s not what your boyfriend does when he’s drunk and trying to find the bathroom (well, at least in this instance). It’s when somebody drops a pass they just caught or when the ball isn’t in “reasonable control.” This can result in an incomplete pass or an interception.

Foul: There are many types of fouls in football, so I’m not going to try to even explain. Just know that most fouls are created to keep the game safe and fair. Most penalties just mean that the football needs to be moved back a certain amount of yards (determined by the ref). Penalties like “offsides” or “out-of-bounds” are the most common.

End Zone: The ten yards of glory at the end of each field. Everyone wants to get there and have their ten seconds of fame (or ten decades if you’re Brett Favre).

Down: A down is kind of like an attempt. When you hear the words “first down!” or “second down” it means that it’s the teams first/second/third/fourth attempt to move the ball in the direction in which they’re trying to score. It can get a little bit complicated, but based on where the team starts with the ball, they need to move ten yards from that spot in four tries (or “downs”) in order to keep possession.

Offense/Defense: Like any other sport, the offense is trying to score and the defense is trying to make sure they don’t!

Punt: The difference between a punt and a kick is that a punt is when a player drops the ball and kicks it while a kick if off of a stand.

Upright: The big metal poles in each End Zone. Field goals and kicked point conversions are scored through these.

Field Goal: A kicker is brought onto the field in order to score a field goal. Each field goal is worth three points.

Positions: Everyone’s got their specialty; a quarterback throws, runningback runs with the ball, linebacker blocks for the quarterback, a kicker kicks, a punter punts, a receiver receives catches and so on… There are a few more but those are some of the key spots.

There are many, many, many complicated rules to football (and even more for attending a college football game). There are a bajillion types of fouls (okay, that might be an exaggeration) and lots of complicated details about each position, but you’ve got a basic grasp. Now that you’re prepared to be Tony Romo’s or Tom Brady’s next side-line girlfriend, share your knowledge with your friends!

Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so get to it. We’ll throw them in a future post!

(Girl, on the phone.)

Girl: Lil Wayne was in my dream last night! Yeah. He had a farm. No, I mostly just made fun of his voice a lot. “Hey, girl, who knew we’d have so much in common?” And I was like “Lil Wayne, I had no idea!”

(Professor, heard from outside a chemistry lecture hall.)

Prof: Okay. Now, imagine you’re all molecules. Good. But I hate molecules! Uh-oh, really bad!

(Two girls, talking at a library study table.)

Girl 1: Were they at least cute?
Girl 2: The girl was a cute Latina woman, but the guy had a scum-stache. I had to turn up my Walkman to drown out the squelching noises.

(English professor, in a small lecture.)

Prof: Government needs hospitals and other utilities to run smoothly. Something like the Starship Enterprise.
Student: ExCUSE me?
Prof: What?
Student: Have you … have you ever even seen an episode of Star Trek?

(Guy, girl, talking in the Music building.)

Guy: Did you see the tree-lighting ceremony that year?
Girl: No, was it good?
Guy: Yeah. Josh Groban got so turned on, he ate the microphone.

(Guy, at a bus stop.)

Guy: It’s November. I’m rolling. I’m all by myself. I’m rolling, and I think I’m gonna write a Christmas song.

(Two girls, coming out of an exam.)

Girl 1: Bombed it. That was terrible.
Girl 2: I think I did okay, actually.
Girl 1: And – damnit! And I forgot to water my veggies in FarmVille!

(Guys, coming out of the gym locker room.)

Guy 1: Miley Cyrus or Taylor Swift?
Guy 2: Probably Miley Cyrus. Taylor Swift looks like a cat that got hit by a makeup train.

(Guys, in the Student Union cafe.)

Guy 1: Dizzy Bat, flip cup, pong. What else.  Need some more.
Guy 2: Forty-hands?
Guy 1: Maybe.
Guy 3: Pitcher drink?
Guy 1: What’s that?
Guy 3: You drink until you pass out.

(Guy, waiting at  a Starbucks.)

Guy: Listen, if I’m gonna date a girl, I’m just saying, she’s gotta respect my ass. I got a pretty big ass. It demands a lot of respect.

When I was a sophomore I lived in a quad in my sorority house. That meant 4 girls, 45 pairs of jeans and over 100 pairs of shoes stuffed into a very tiny space. With bunk beds. The close quarters were an issue when any sort of studying had to get done (“Can’t you wait until after 90210 is over to start that paper?!”) or heavy drinking was going down (“Dude, there is not enough room in here for you to do the worm…”) but we made it work most of the time.

And then we had a date party.

For those of you who don’t know, a sorority date party consists of asking guys to join you at a bar where everyone gets very, very drunk. Kind of like any other night of the week but with dresses and a photographer.

Anyways, needless to say, my roommates and I got quite intoxicated. Upon returning to the sorority house, everyone proceeded to leave their men outside and completely pass out fully clothed. I was pretty much dead to the world when I suddenly woke up out of my sleep; something smelled really bad. It took me awhile to figure out where I was, why I was still wearing heels, and why there was a slice of pizza in my hand, but when I finally came to I realized that my roommate (whose bottom bunk was a mere 4 inches away from mine) was also sniffing the air with a not-so-happy look on her face.

“Dude, what is that smell?” she asked me, sniffing the air like a puppy in heat. I began looking around the room, trying to figure out what was going on. Considering the small size of my living quarters, it took only a second to find the culprit: at 5:30 in the morning, wearing a beautiful black BCBG dress, my roommate was squatting over the bottom drawer (MY DRAWER!) of the dresser…having a bowel movement.

“SUSIE*!!” I screamed. She looked up at me. “What the hell are you doing in my underwear drawer!?”

“What?” She responded, confused. “Why are you in the bathroom stall with me?”

“You are not in the bathroom, you moron, you are in our bedroom…taking a crap in my underwear drawer!” I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or throw up all over myself. A moment later, I was ready to do all three.

Susie finally looked around and realized what she was doing.

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I’m so sorry. I’ll fix it.” Susie stood up, pulled up her underwear, fixed her hair in the mirror and started to clean up her mess. It was a noble thing to do (and that girl better clean up that sh*t), but Susie was still quite drunk and a little wobbly on her feet. She bent down, gathered whatever was in the drawer and walked towards the communal bathroom in the hall…..leaving a trail of poo poo along the wall as she went. It was like Hansel and Gretel’s trail. Only grosser.

I couldn’t help but scream. And kick. And cry. And throw up a little in my mouth.

Soon the entire sorority was awake and screaming along with me. Eventually our house mother showed up, shooed us all out to a neighboring house to get some sleep and closed down our house for some major Clorox action. Upon returning, my room became a lovely, spacious triple and Susie got a single.

Was it fair that she got a single to herself? No, but no one wanted to live with the pooper.

But the same can be said for women. And I’m talking about more than landscaping.

There are some aspects of the manly lifestyle that we women should embrace. Mindsets and activities that will make us happier, healthier (well, mentally at least) ladies. So here are just a few ways that channeling our inner macho man can enhance our daily lives.

Boys night.
There has to be a reason why guys are always so relaxed, and why your boyfriend calls you after a guy’s night and doesn’t have aching arches and raccoon eyes. While we all love girl’s night out, and the stiletto dancing that comes with it, we could all use a more relaxing night once in a while. Get the girls together and head out to a bar, order a bucket of wings and some beers, and chat the night away. You might be surprised how much bonding (and relaxing) can be done in a big booth in the back of a dive bar.

Let em’ roll.
Things really get to us. When we hear that our friend commented on how ugly our dress was after we left, we give her the silent treatment for a week. When we get dumped, we hole up in our bed with a pint of ice cream and a box of tissues claiming we will never love again. Perhaps once in a while we should just let things roll off our backs like the male population. If they get dumped, they are out the next night on the prowl with the boys. And they could care less if Tony said their shirt was ugly; it’s just a shirt. Taking a cue from the guys: don’t sweat the small stuff.

Make him wait.
You text that guy you’re totally into from class and then spend the entire night checking your phone and justifying to your friends why he’s probably super busy and hasn’t had time to respond. Us girls are way too over eager – waiting more than ten minutes to answer him back is torture – but once in a while it might be a smart move to wait a day. Your heart skips a beat when you finally see a message in your inbox from him and, chances are, if you make him wait a couple days his heart will flutter too. Take a cue from the guys and make him sit by the phone waiting for your next call. Then – hook, line and sinker – you’ll be playing tonsil hockey by Friday.

Think with your genitals.
Women are emotional; it’s not our fault, it’s our genetic programming. But not everything has to be so complicated. Face it, you’re not going to marry the hookup from Saturday night’s party, so do as men do and enjoy it for what it is: a little physical pleasure. Even if you’re seriously dating someone, it doesn’t always have to be so serious. Drop the fight about him not calling last night and just invite him over for a quickie before class.

Just do it.
Men are impulsive. They’ll randomly go for a pizza at 4 am and they’ll drop their textbook to meet the guys for a beer. Many women, on the other hand, plan everything down to the minute. Of course we can’t meet a friend for some dinner in the caf. in 5 minutes – we’re studying from five to seven and then going to the gym. Take a heads up from the guys and drop what you’re doing once in a while. A little impulsivity makes life a lot more interesting and lot less stressful.

Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so get to it. We’ll throw them in a future post!

(Two girls in the dining hall.)

Girl 1: God, I am seriously the best wing man ever!

Girl 2: Well, who’s your wing man?

Girl 1: (Pointing to her breasts and shimmying) I’ve got two.

(Man, woman, waiting in the lobby of a hair salon.)

Man (looking in mirror): What do you think? It worked for Wolverine, you know.

Woman: No. It wouldn’t work for you.

Man: It’s … it’s working already.

(Two guys, in a dorm community kitchen.)

Guy 1: What the f—?

Guy 2:  I can’ t cook these. These are like, Russian Nesting Kielbasas or something.

(Guys talking over dinner at the dining hall.)

Guy: I wouldn’t want to kick any girl filled with toffee. She can keep it.

(Guys, girl, talking in a dorm hallway.)

Guy 1: God. So itchy. I hate Beardvember.

Guy 2: I think it’s Novembeard, right?

Guy 3: I’m used to hearing “No Shave November.”

Girl: I always just called it “30 days of pubes.”

(Girl, serving herself food, looking quizzically at the pasta.)

Girl: Who stole the insides of these?

(Two girls and a guy, in the library.)

Girl 1: I wish all the lights were tanning bulbs.

Girl 2: I know! We’d be so tan, we could just pretend it’s summer. No one would know. It would be amazing.

Guy: Yeah, or we’d all burn to a crisp after our eyeballs fall out. It would be like “‘attack of the sick overworked bacon students in the library.”

Girl 1:  Way to bring me down. Debbie friggin’ Downer. Now I want a breakfast sandwich.

Girl 2: Ooh, with bacon?

Guy: I hate you both.

(Girl, on the phone.)

Girl: It’s not that. It’s that I never believe you any more. I don’t … no! I can’t trust you! I just can’t! Listen, I can’t do this right now. Can I hang up and just text you instead?

(Girl and guy, walking past yelling girl on campus thoroughfare.)

Girl 1 (yelling): Who wants some free koofers?

Girl 2: What’s a koofer?

Guy: It’s a sensation you get down in your nethers.

(Two girls, on computers in the library.)

Girl 1: All these guys are such crap.

Girl 2: Yeah, I want to date the good guys. I want the good guys with the right moves.

OK, not necessarily bad per se. But definitely looked down upon, like we’re being foolish for not wanting to experience “the pleasures of life” you non-virgins always talk about.

You may not think we know, but we know. We know those looks you give us when we’re all hanging out together and we start talking about guys. And by “you,” I mean the one who goes out, gets drunk, and hooks up. After you go on and on about the guy (not the boyfriend, but the guy of the moment) you met last night and how good he was in bed, you all of a sudden cast us a very familiar look. That patronizing, pity-filled, I-can’t-believe-you’re-not-doing-it-you-don’t-know-what-you’re-missing look. The eyebrows scrunch a little and the lips pout a little, and maybe the arms reach out to give us a little hug. The consoling eyes seem to say, “It’s OK, sweetie. You’ll find someone someday!”

Well, maybe I don’t want to find someone. At least, not in that way. Not for just the night. Not for just sex.

You might think I’m crazy, but I know that until I have found the one I’m going to spend the rest of my life with, I’m not going to settle. I don’t just want to pick up some random guy at the club, spend a meaningless night together and have my final image of him be his back heading out the door.

I don’t mean to completely admonish and criticize those girls that do live that sort of life. I have plenty of girlfriends who go through guys like they’re the flavor of the week. And I’m totally fine with you living that lifestyle; I wasn’t born in the 18th century. I understand that times have changed and it’s the new millennium. All I want is for you to not look down on me like I’m missing out on something. Because I don’t think I am; I love everything about my life, and wouldn’t live it any other way.

I’m not giving you any looks, so next time we’re hanging out, please don’t give one to me. There’s nothing here to pity, girlfriend.