Yeah, that's me. As Octomom. Never. Having. Sex. Again.
I have a good life: a job I love, a closet full of fantastic clothes, and some pretty rad friends and family. But even with all that I am always wondering what it would be like to trade places with someone else for a day.
Like my friend Amy – I’ve always wanted to know what it is like to have big boobs and a teeny, tiny waist. Or Octomom – spending a single day with 14 kids will teach me not to skip the condom when I’m in the heat of the moment. Or pretty much any celebrity with oodles of money and people bowing down to them wherever they go.
I’m pretty sure everyone – no matter how content – would give anything (even that coveted slice of drunken late-night pizza) to be someone else for one day. So this week I asked the CollegeCandy writers which celebrity they’d want to trade places with.
Who do you wanna be?
Thu – USC: I’d be Oprah and give away houses this time.
Kayla – California State University, Sacramento: Maybe I would be Heidi Montag. It might be nice to not have to use my brain for one day.
Kathryn – University of Wisconsin-Madison: I would want to trade places with Renee Zellweger. ONLY because she’s reportedly dating Bradley Cooper. Yum.
Elizabeth – UC Berkeley: Jennifer Aniston. She’s hot and, let’s face it, everybody secretly roots for Team Aniston. Read More »
Since the 5th grade, when I began my dating career and had my first closed-mouth kiss, I have been developing some pretty serious opinions about guys and the things they should and shouldn’t do. From fashion choices to their decisions about personal hygiene, it seems that some members of the male sex are still confused and clueless when it comes to putting themselves together. Below are six common mistakes guys make when trying to bring on the sex appeal that only end up looking, well, really unappealing. Take note, guys.
Chewing/Spitting Tobacco:
In the timeless film “Clueless,” Cher explains that drawing attention to your mouth is the number one way to draw the attention of a member of the opposite sex. I would agree, for the most part, unless we’re talking about chewing tobacco. When I see a guy spit that horrific brown goo into an empty Poland Springs bottle, or pack that junk into his lower lip, I want to vomit. If you must give in to your oral fixation, chew some gum or suck on a lollipop. Turquoise Orbit is my favorite, if you’re interested.
Wife beaters and too-tight muscle T’s:
I totally understand that guys work hard in the gym, grunting and groaning and pumping iron until they are ready to pop a blood vessel, and that they are proud to show their goods off. But wearing regular clothing can be equally revealing. Wife beaters belong at the Jersey Shore, or in bed if you don’t feel like hitting the sheets shirtless. And too-tight muscle T’s are just a recipe for bad sweat stains. Steer clear of both. Read More »
As a kid, I was never really a fan of shorts. Unless they were my brothers mesh Umbro’s or later, the – who knows why they were trendy but they were – mesh bulldog shorts.
I found shorts to ride up, leaving me constantly trying to pick a wedgie when no one was looking (yet someone always managed to see). And let’s face it- unless you have legs like Gisele Bundchen walking around on a summer day can be more than quite uncomfortable in a pair of short shorts.
But these past few season’s shorts have been unavoidable. They have been everywhere and they have been CUTE. With heels? Cute. With sandals? Also cute!
Much like that annoying tag-along friend of yours, shorts have found their way into every occasion. From bars to the beach shorts have become appropriate (and trendy) attire.
So it would only be appropriate that before it gets too cold (although I’m sure some freshman girl will be wearing them to the bar- in January- with no coat and you will obviously spend at least five mintues talking about how ridiculous she looks before you realize that you did that too) that I bring you:
Celebrity Chic on the Cheap: YOU Wear Short Shorts!
High Waisted jean shorts- High-waisted shorts make your legs look like they go on forever. Not to mention these are so super affordable! So ladies- start NAIR-ing! (Seriously when was the last time you thought about Nair?!) Read More »
During this week’s blog, I torture the Bro with fashion questions, ask what he thinks of couture outfits (and the models wearing them), and force him play stream-of-consciousness.
Ah, just like being in the backseat of a car on our way to Grandma’s.
Me: Alright, well, you might not have known that it was fashion week last week in New York. First off…do you have any idea who Anna Wintour is?
The Bro: nope
Me: She’s basically this 50ish year old woman who wears giant sunglasses and thinks she is the most fashion forward person on the planet
Me: here is a picture of her: (she’s in the middle) Thoughts?
The Bro: She doesn’t look as old as meryl streep does in that movie
If it’s at all possible, I feel really bad for Bridget Moynahan. Not only is she mostly known as the chick who got royally screwed over by Mr. Big after he cheated and destroyed their marriage, but her real life sucks, too. She was dating football stud Tom Brady, who dumped her for Gisele Bundchen. Yea. He does pretty well for himself.
But before Tom could enjoy a lifetime of sweet, supermodel sex…..oops! Bridget was pregnant with Tom’s baby, and he still didn’t want her back.
If that’s not enough of a slap in the face, Gisele broke out the fangs and claws and sent Bridget really expensive baby clothes – specifically “a onesie with the word ’supermodel’ written across it.”
Damn!
I’m not the only who is noticing this passive aggressive move. It’s pretty bold and pretty bitchy, as there is nothing worse than pulling a “Heyyyy, maaaaan, everything’s cool, I’m just gonna use this obnoxious tactic to try and solve our little problem here, but really, it’s just gonna piss you off even more and you’re going to resent me and want to punch me in the face. No biggie!” Ugh. Sooooo annoying (although sarcasm is always appreciated).
PassiveAggressiveNotes.com – a hilarious peek into the world of annoying post-its, notes, emails and signs people have actually written to their co-workers, roommates and fellow citizens that do anything but fix the problems at hand. You’ll see what I mean. Read More »
Memorial Day has come and gone, but Bikini Season is officially in session. With a little help from InStyle.com, we have compiled some hot celebrity bikini looks for your viewing pleasure. If you find a look you like, click over to InStyle.com- they’ve got a great list of look-a-likes and where to buy.
Since the 5th grade, when I began my dating career and had my first closed-mouth kiss, I have been developing some pretty serious opinions about guys and the things they should and shouldn’t do. From fashion choices to their decisions about personal hygiene, it seems that some members of the male sex are still confused and clueless when it comes to putting themselves together. Below are six common mistakes guys make when trying to bring on the sex appeal that only end up looking, well, really unappealing. Take note, guys.
Move over Brangelina; there is a new
As a kid, I was never really a fan of shorts. Unless they were my brothers 
If it’s at all possible, I feel really bad for 
Memorial Day has come and gone, but Bikini Season is officially in session. With a little help from 
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