I never got a private lesson (no matter how many emails my boyfriend sent begging her), but I found her fool proof tips tucked away on page 108 of her autobiography, How To Make Love Like A Porn Star. It’s actually a really interesting read (especially compared to the 18th Century Lit I’ve been reading) and I recommend you go out and buy it. But for now, I’ll just share with you a few of her 10 Commandments for giving “killer head he’ll never forget.”

Come on – who doesn’t want to know that?

Eye Contact.
Jenna says: “When you’re going down on him, keep your hair out of your face and look up at him with big doe eyes.”

I say: Great, but we’re not all porn stars, and it strains your neck to make eye contact the whole time. Just make sure you look up occasionally and try to make some sexy “I really love what I’m doing” eyes while you do.

Use Your Hands Wisely.
Jenna says: “In addition to stroking him, try tickling his balls a little.”

I say: “Mind the stepchildren” is something all guys want us to do. Fine. But even if that area isn’t really your thing, using your hands is also a great way to make things easier on you (read: give that jaw a break) and make things better for him (read: a little added pressure).  Just make sure to use plenty of saliva to keep things smooth.

Use Your Tongue
Jenna Says: “When he’s in your mouth, stick your tongue out as far as it will go. Then wiggle your tongue on the underside.”

I say: This drives my boyfriend absolutely crazy, but it’s not the most comfortable move. Don’t expect to keep doin’ this one for awhile.

Shield Your Teeth
Jenna says: “Shield your bottom teeth with your tongue, then open your mouth as wide as possible so that your top teeth stay clear.”

I say: This is much more comfortable than wrapping your lips around your teeth, for you and him.

Experiment with Facials.
Jenna says: “A facial is when a guy finishes on your face, and there’s no man I know who isn’t turned on by them.”

I say: I don’t want to know the men you know. It may be a turn on, Jemma, but the semen hardens in your hair and makes your skin feel nasty. No thank you.

So there you go: the perfect porn-star blow job. I left a few of the less important commandments out, so if you want to read the rest get yourself to a Barnes and Noble. Or maybe just order the book online so you don’t have to get the look of death and disappointment from the old lady working the register.

What special tips or tricks do you use down there?

In college, oral sex was the thing to do. Girls willing to give blow-jobs were a dime-a-dozen, and even as early as freshman year, any moderately good looking guy could walk into any frat and find at least one girl willing to go down on him that night. But now? Almost every girl I’ve dated since leaving college has been far more apt to get right to the nitty-gritty than take the time to pleasure me for a while. Even when I willingly and often eagerly take the time to go down on the girl, I’ve found that she’s only very rarely willing to reciprocate.

So what gives? Most girls in their mid-20s that I’ve talked to about this phenomenon tell me that giving head is “too personal,” and that they only go down on guys whom they know, like, and feel comfortable with. And I understand that, except that I was brought up to believe that that’s how you’re supposed to feel about sleeping with people.

I mean, oral sex was abundant in college, and there’s no way that every girl who was generous enough to go down on me felt comfortable with me. At least a few didn’t like me at all! And yet, in the years since, I can’t seen to buy a blow-job. And yet I have no problem getting laid. It’s almost as if you girls all go through this awesome metamorphosis in the summer after graduation: you enter the summer as oral-sex loving caterpillars, and emerge as beautiful butterflies ready and willing to spread your wings (read: legs) while intent on keeping your mouths closed.

Here’s the crazy thing: most guys, if given the option, will take a great blow-job over good sex any day of the week and twice on Thursdays, but I’m not sure girls realize this. Girls seem to assume that guys just want to get laid, that sex is the be-all end-all for every single guy, rendering the importance of foreplay totally moot.WRONG! We love oral sex. Nay, we need it. And in the absence of it, many guys will seek it out elsewhere.

I’m not saying that you need to go down on every guy that comes around, or even every guy that you get a little freaky with. But if there’s a guy you think you might like, don’t make him wait too long. Because he won’t.