It’s extremely fitting that the first official Glamour issue of 2012 (and the last one to hit newsstands in 2011) features the Kardashian sisters. Could they have been any more overexposed this year? The answer is probably yes, but I must admit that the Kardashian ladies are my not-so-secret, not-so-guilty pleasure. I am loving this vintage photo of the sisters. Khloe’s hair is out of this world, and it’s nice to see all of them look refreshingly silly and vibrant.
This month’s issue had even less substance than usual, which I’m totally cool with. Sometimes all you need in life is photos of pretty clothes and some interesting insight into what guys consider their dating deal breakers… Read More »

Kristen Stewart almost looks like she has an expression on this month’s cover of Glamour. I don’t know how to feel about this. Sullen works for her, but I can’t begrudge her any attempts to look happy or engaged.

This month’s issue is pretty inoffensive. There was a strong emphasis on health, which I appreciate. And I was reminded that Mercury retrograde falls over Thanksgiving this year, so I’m already mentally preparing for a hot mess holiday of ridiculous proportions. Even the relationship section was less horrific than usual. There was an articled on “How to be a Man-Magnet” that had some good pieces of advice (don’t insult other women, be proud of your ambitions, don’t expect every guy to be marriage material…), though some gems were a little less constructive. Read More »

Jen Aniston, Demi Moore, and a very photoshopped Alicia Keys grace this month’s cover of Glamour. And what, pray tell, brought these three women together? No, they didn’t all date the same guy, they’ve bonded over breast cancer advocacy. While breast cancer is, of course, a truly significant cause, can we talk about the fact that heart disease is actually the number one killer of women? Six times as many women die from a heart attack or another heart-related ailment than breast cancer. I didn’t know this myself until a  few months ago, and ever since I found out, I’ve been pretty perturbed about the way that breast cancer has become “the” disease for women to advocate for…but that’s a whole other subject for a completely different time.
But on to less heavy topics of conversation…
This month, Glamour’s resident gentleman has decided to enlighten us with four fashion choices that totally turn guys off.

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We all know amazing women. Your mom, who pushed you out of her vajay for 18 hours (and tells the excruciating story every year on your birthday). Your philosophy TA, who imparts the perfect dose of gritty life wisdom and existential enlightenment each class. Your freshman year roommate…the fact that homegirl never reported your crazy ass to campus security for your wide array of wild shenanigans has secured her a place in heaven for sure.

Admittedly, some amazing women are more worthy of an award than others. Think more along the lines of your sorority sister who organizes the beyond spectacular philanthropy events each year, not the girl who can masterfully dance on the bar in a mini dress without having a Brit slip.

Well, Glamour is looking for you to brag about all the truly amazing women in your life.

Here’s what they have to say:

Brag Time: Tell Us Why You’re Amazing

Glamour is looking for young women—age 25 or under—who are doing big things in their community. Tell us how you’re changing the world and you could be one of two lucky winners we’ll bring to Glamour’s Women of the Year Awards at New York City’s Carnegie Hall on November 7.

So…wanna come? Nominate yourself (or a friend!) by going to glamour.com (link to: https://secure.glamour.com/magazine/sweeps/woyy_2011/entry/long/)—and attach a pic. Then check back in two months to meet the five finalists and vote for your favorites.

Well, what are you waiting for? Nominate someone! (Not sure who to nominate, CollegeCandy editors are always looking for a little love….just kidding…not really)

Aw, look at Blake Lively on the cover of this month’s Glamour, all sun-kissed and flawless and fully clothed (why she denied those nudes were hers will forever perplex me – those are the most elegant bathroom photos I’ve ever seen). As you can tell by the headlines of this month’s issue, Glamour is reveling in summer superficiality – tips on battling humidity hair, finding the best shorts for your body and a little bit of unnecessary warm-weather specific slut shaming are all present in this issue (apparently if you’re topless at the beach, you’re asking for creepers to take photos of you..silly me, I thought those women were just trying to avoid ugly tan lines).

Of course, the best part of the issue is the insight into how males feel when they’re naked.

Glamour says: 21 percent of men suck in their stomach the first time a woman sees them naked.
Jasmine says: I suppose this could be another distraction to prevent premature ejaculation. But seriously, I wish we could all just be secure in our bodies and stop waiting for people to chastise us because we have more than 1.6 ounces of body fat. Our society’s fixation on the idea that “perfection = thinness” is not helpful to anyone. Read More »

Dear SATC gods:

We city dwellers and big-city hopefuls would greatly appreciate it if you didn’t create another Sex & The City movie. Ever heard the term “three’s a crowd?” Yeah, well, however cliché it may sound, it’s incredibly appropriate for your dreams of a potentially disastrous third movie. So, since we’ve been hearing rumors that it’s a possibility, we thought it was a good time to sit down and talk.

Let me begin by saying: I am a huge SATC fan. I am Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda all balled into one and my obsession with their extravagant vacays, condo-sized closets and flagrantly glam’d up lifestyles is downright dangerous. Yet I think I speak for many SATC fans when I say that you have fulfilled your duty — let the six seasons and two movies live on. Where else could you possibly go with the storyline?

Carrie & Mr. Big are finally married, and no, we don’t see any kids in the future. Imagine Carrie Bradshaw with kids! Oh that’s right, you can’t.

Miranda & Steve have finally settled their differences and they are happy together. A third installment to the SATC series would only take us on another Stiranda (that’s when Steve and Miranda’s relationship gets all stirred up. It makes sense, just go with it. ) rollercoaster that we’re not willing to ride.

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This issue of Glamour was made for summer. It featured three separate cover girls – Frieda Pinto, Emma Stone, and Ashley Greene – all rocking gorgeous beach-inspired looks. The pages were filled with beautiful bathing suits, feminine pastels, and an obscene (but totally acceptable) amount of floral prints.

Naturally, while I was flipping through it, my area was under a freaking tornado watch, so the first half of this issue was great for escapism purposes. It was light on text and heavy on the pretty, although I could have done without the 5 pages of Royal Wedding coverage. I’m not generally one to be swoon over celebrity weddings, but my indifference intensifies when the celebrities are as boring as Will and Kate. Seriously, beyond their hair (what happened to his? How is hers always so shiny?), they are the least fascinating celebs ever. Hit me up when Kim Kardashian finally finds a husband.

But anyway, moving into the second half of the magazine, as per usual, Glamour hits us with the more substantial articles – ones about female teachers being falsely accused of having sex with students (pro tip: if you ever become a high school teacher, never text your students), the scary toxins that are wrecking our hormonal balances (everything. Build thyself a plastic bubble), and an “expose” on strip clubs (some guys want to have sex with strippers and some guys don’t…durr).

Obviously, the goldmine of this issue was The Ultimate Penis Guide, which consists of 6 items all guys wish we ladies knew. So let’s get learning, shall we? Read More »

Diane Kruger is a certified, regulation, top-tier hottie. I mean, she is ethereal enough to have been cast as Helen of Troy. She is currently boning and betrothed to wed Joshua Jackson (PACEY!) and she somehow managed to make stilted sexyface look alluring and hot on this month’s cover of Glamour. And I’m absolutely gagging (in the best possible way) over her cover ensemble. Sigh. Hot women in amazeball clothes – Glamour knows how to speak to my soul so deeply.

Unfortunately, once Glamour starts trying to use words to enrich our lives, it all goes downhill.

As usual, the “Men, Sex, and Love” section is an utter disaster. When the best piece of advice is offered by a 9-year-old, you know this shiz is dire. (The 9-year-old was asked if men should pay on the first day. Her answer; “No, because then he’ll think you’re spoiled. You should volunteer.” Debate over.)

There’s an article by a 28-year-old woman who planned to save her virginity for her husband…and then didn’t (didn’t most of us have that “I’m waiting until marriage…oops, there’s a p in my v” moment at some point? Yawn.) There is an article about communication by some dude who apparently feels that guys need women to tell them that joking about their moms is not okay (I know etiquette is kind of a lost concept these days, but seriously?) And apparently dudes think about sports during sex (remember when these magazines said they were thinking about supermodels? I’m not sure if sports are an up- or a downgrade). But it’s the obligatory sexting article that made me roll my eyes so hard I’m pretty sure I saw my brain.

Let me explain why. Read More »

January’s Glamour cover claims that it’s the happy issue. Coincidentally, this is one of the lightest mags I’ve ever picked up. I found this issue uninspired at worst and bland at best. It felt like a compilation of articles that were (understandably) scrapped for previous issues, but then last month rolled around and everyone decided that finding the perfect gifts was way more important than writing decent(ly mockable) material.

Even the article that had the most potential (“What Do You Call Your Genitalia”) is just pathetic – one woman’s boyfriend actually said “all men have iPads and women are just their charging docks.” And no, she didn’t dump him. Conveniently, two pages after this charming anecdote is “In Defense of Jerks,” a piece written by Glamour’s resident guy (obvs inferior to Our Dude) who writes a few hundred words basically pleading for us to forgive guys for being clueless and socially inept. No thank you.

I must admit, I was tickled by this totally bro-tastic piece surveying guys asking them to share their sexytime New Year’s Resolutions. Hilarity ensues.

Glamour bro says: Tantric sex.
Jasmine says: I will never understand the appeal of a never ending (8 hours) sex session. I mean, I like f*cking as much as the next girl, but who has the attention span these days? Tantric sex seems to be a relic of the old days, pre iPhones and DVDs.

Glamour bro says: No more drama.
Jasmine says: When a dude says no drama, it’s code for “I don’t want a girl who will call me out on my shenanigans.”

Read More »

Around the holidays there are a lot of reasons to dress up, and I’m not talking about putting on anything but sweats (which in college might feel like dressing up). I’m talking up getting all dolled up for a special occasion. Whether you have a sorority formal, a fancy party to go to with the family, or need something special for New Years Eve, now is a good time to start scoping out looks. Though people are starting to get their Christmas shopping in, it’s not quite the rush yet, meaning there will be a slightly shorter line for the changing room than a few weeks from now.

Any girl who’s been to the mall in the past 2 years knows that there are a ton of dresses to choose from out there. That means it’s easy to find one appropriate for every occasion possible, but also hard to choose the very best one. (I’ve never been good with options.) Just remember these 3 key things:

1. Choose what works best for your body, not whatever cut is trendiest. We can’t all wear sparkly shift dress, you know.
2. What you’re wearing to impress your high school crush on New Years Eve may not be the same thing you want to wear to a Christmas party with your parents’ friends. Choose a slightly longer length (you should be able to sit down comfortably in it, without covering your lap with a napkin) and more chest coverage for events you’re going to for work or with your family.
3. Go all out. Ruffles, sparkles, cut-outs – all’s fair in love, war and party dresses. Read More »