It’s that time of year again: back to (freaking) school!

Ok, so not quite yet; technically, you can’t move into your place for another week or two, but you’re so excited to get back to campus that you’ve started to prepare a bit early.

With only a few more days (and by “days” I mean “meal opportunities on the parentals”), you start mapping out your schedule until you head back. You know you have to eat mom’s famous meatloaf at least 3 times, not to mention her Challah French toast (which, now that you think about it, would make terrific drunk food. Perhaps she can freeze one and send it with you….). You also need to fit in your favorite sushi spot, Chinese restaurant, and hit up the local diner/greasy spoon as much as possible.

Also on the schedule? A major trip the mall with mom, duh. You know good and well that this week in August is the last time you’ll have one-on-one time with her (read: her credit limit) until Thanksgiving and you plan on taking full advantage. Plus, it’s major bonding time for you and mama and she’s going to need that seeing as you’re outta there in 6 days, 23 hours and 42 minutes.

But who’s counting? Read More »

Whenever you tell someone you’re going back to college, or going for the first time, they are full of useful info. Bring sandals for the shower, get a baggie for the shower stuff you’re planning on bringing, grab a foreman grill, whatever. Unfortunately, with all their good advice, it seems most people don’t really tell you what NOT to bring to school. Good thing I’m here.

Stuff you should not bring to the dorms.

1 – Your $20,000 stereo system.

Yes, I know its got ‘mad subs’ and is both bangin’ and bumpin’ but here’s the reality of the situation. We hate your music. I don’t care who you are and how diverse your tastes are, there are people who hate what you listen to and don’t want to hear it. Additionally, even if your musical taste is somehow Christ-like in its openness, there are times where people don’t want to hear music of any type, and these times may not coincide with your own. Your giant stereo shares noise with all ears, everywhere, and that isn’t necessary. Learn to use headphones and leave you’re cribs-esque sh*t at home.

2 – Frivolous Kitchen Stuff

Here are the following items I have personally seen people bring that have pissed other people off: a popcorn maker, a cotton candy machine, a full sized wok, a 12 speed blender…the list goes on. Do not bring kitchen sh*t you have either no intention of using or have no idea how to operate. The popcorn and cotton candy guy buzz killed every party, the Wok guy set fire to our paper towels, and the 12 speed blender kid supplied samples for everyone at a high velocity. Also, you are a freshman and you are godd*mn filthy. Read More »