Hey Dude,

I recently (as in a few days ago) had sex for the first time, with the guy that I am dating. It really hurt, but he was patient with me. Round two the next morning felt better, but still hurt a bit.

But that’s not my problem. What’s kinda worrying me is that he’s so quiet during sex, and during foreplay. Even when I go down on him!

It’s not what I was expecting, his breathing doesn’t seem to get heavier during the deed, unless he’s just about to come. I’m not expecting him to be moaning at the top of his lungs or anything, but a bit of feedback would certainly help me to know that I’m getting the hang of things. And considering he said I’m really good at going down on him, is it fair to expect some noise?

I’m trying to make sure we tell each other what we want and what we’re willing to do, because I think that’s really important (and if there’s anything College Candy blogs have taught me, its that communication with your partner makes things easier and better). So I tried to talk to him about it in a light-hearted way, telling him its okay to make a bit of noise and that no one’s going to hear him (I live in a shared house with friends), and that I find it hot when guys lose a bit of control and let go, and he just said he’s a quiet guy and pretty much dropped the subject.

So, does it sound like its him, or me?? I don’t want to make him feel uncomfortable, but as this is all new to me I don’t want to feel insecure either. How can I approach this subject (again) with him?

Sincerely,

Newbie

Read More »

Fact: There is nothing more intimate than having sex with another person. After all, you’re completely naked and vulnerable, and everything is out in plain sight. So unless you’re that old, beer-bellied guy that is always alone and naked at the nude beach, that level of intimacy is going to make you a little nervous.

And then there’s the whole “performance” aspect (Are you doing it right? Does it feel right? Is that face sexy or creepy?), which gets enhanced ten-fold when oral sex is involved. Oral is pretty uncomfortable for everyone (mentally, hopefully not physically), but can get extremely nerve-wracking for most women. I get it; who wouldn’t be self conscious and wonder what her guy is thinking when he is up close and personal with her most private of areas? But all that thinking can really ruin a marvelous experience, and what’s the point of us putting in all that work if you’re not going to enjoy it?

Read More »

Go behind the scenes with College Candy!

So you don’t like going down…there

7 signs you’re not ready to date again

I love Michelle Obama, but it’s time she spoke up

Pull off Pippa’s classic look!

Take that Charlie Sheen

I’m sorry, but do people really think he’s hot???

Are you a relationship runner?

Pull off some awesome Harry Potter fashions

Ke$ha does blow

[He Said/She Said is a series designed to help all our wonderfully confused readers figure out what he’s really thinking. So every week we’ll be throwing out a topic for debate…and unlike our fave dude, these guys won’t be sugar coating anything for you. But before you jump into their heads (which seriously will make you feel like you need to shower), check out what we think!]

My best friend and I have a lot in common. We both love baked ziti, shoes, Robin Williams movies and playing with makeup. But as much as we can talk for hours and hours about the beauty of a designer stiletto or the genius that is Mrs. Doubtfire, there’s one thing we can’t seem to agree on:

Oral sex.

She’s obsessed with it. LOVES it. And I’m not talking about gettin’ it; I’m talkin’ about giving it. Just mention oral sex (or anything that has the word ‘oral’ in it), and she gets all hot and bothered, touting off the many joys of a good blow job. “You have total control,” she explains. “And it feels so good to know that you’re making that person feel really good.” She also constantly reminds us all to mind the stepchildren and giggles at the mere thought of “how fun balls are!” (Note: This type of conversation gets awkward when it is spurred by someone talking about their oral surgery.) Read More »

Questio? Answio: Ask TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com.

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I’ve been with my boyfriend for a month now, and he’s the best boyfriend I’ve ever had. He’s respectful, funny, handsome, super smart and comprehensive. Things couldn’t be better. Because of the way I was raised and my personal beliefs, I want to wait until I get married to have sex. He says he respects my decision and that he’ll wait.

The other night he got all serious and he said he wanted to give me an orgasm, and we talked about it. I’ve had orgasms when I masturbate, but I’ve never let a guy touch me down there before, but I really want to. So we gave it a try. He’s a older than me, so he has a lot more experience, and he knows how it’s done. The problem is, I don’t. I had no idea of what to do and I got all nervous. I can give a handjob or get down on him, but I have no idea of what to do when I’m the one on the receiving end. At first I was really turned on and everything was going fine but suddenly, poof! I didn’t feel anything anymore. He said I should tell him what I like and how I like it, but I don’t know how to explain myself, and also, I’m a bit shy.

How do I stop getting nervous and self-conscious? How do I learn how to tell him what to do to me? I’m tired of being such a prude!

Sincerely,
Horny Virgin Read More »

He Said/She Said is a new series designed to help all our wonderfully confused readers figure out what he’s really thinking. So every week we’ll be throwing out a topic for debate…and unlike our fave dude, these guys won’t be sugar coating anything for you. But before you jump into their heads (which seriously will make you feel like you need to shower), check out what we think!]

In the economics of relationships, things seem relatively simple. You invest parts of you in hopes of getting something in return, be it love, affection, respect or in some cases of a Tiffany’s princess cut. The same applies to the economics of sex. When things are getting down and dirty you’re hoping at the end of all of it, you aren’t left down and out. Returning the favor is simple economics – what you get should equal (if not, surpass) what you put in.

At the risk of sounding anti-feminist, returning the favor (while it is not always something a girl looks forward to…especially after a guy’s had 10 vodka Red Bulls) is only fair. Strictly speaking in terms of giving and receiving, reciprocation makes sense because it balances the scale. Returning the favor is not necessary, but it is considerate. The guy just worked his tongue off to rock your world, after all, it’s only fair you do the same.

But, and there’s always a but, every rule carries with it a list of exceptions. Here are just a few of mine: Read More »

I have spent 8 years (not continuously) with my mouth between a dude’s legs, and while I finally know that I’m good at it (one fine young man – whose name I do not know – exclaimed, “Wow! That was good!”), I still don’t love all the work is involved. It kills my jaw, my neck, and I’d rather let the guy handle things on his own than risk lock jaw on a sweaty appendage.

And do I get paid back? Not often. Lots of guys I know and have “interacted” with really aren’t into making the trip downtown on a lady. “It’s so hard!” they say. “You don’t know what we’re dealing with down there!”

Um, excuse me? They think they have it hard (pun totes not intended)?

I decided to take this issue on myself with my favorite IMing male to see if we could work through our problems and come to some sort of truce for men and women everywhere. Will this entice more men to venture South? We can only hope. Read More »

[We ladies spend a lot of time wondering what guys are thinking, most often over stiff drinks or soupy ice cream. Unfortunately, besides The Dude, we don't often get the chance to really find out. So we continue speculating, wondering and growing more and more self-conscious by the minute. Not anymore. CollegeCandy's got a new guy in town who is going to open up his man brain and enlighten us as to what exactly goes on in there. Prepare yourselves, girls; I have a feeling this is going to be an interesting ride.]

Fact: There is nothing more intimate than having sex with another person. After all, you’re completely naked and vulnerable, and everything is out in plain sight. So unless you’re that old, beer-bellied guy that is always alone and naked at the nude beach, that level of intimacy is going to make you a little nervous.

And then there’s the whole “performance” aspect (Are you doing it right? Does it feel right? Is that face sexy or creepy?), which gets enhanced ten-fold when oral sex is involved. Oral is pretty uncomfortable for everyone (mentally, hopefully not physically), but can get extremely nerve-wracking for most women. I get it; who wouldn’t be self conscious and wonder what her guy is thinking when he is up close and personal with her most private of areas? But all that thinking can really ruin a marvelous experience, and what’s the point of us putting in all that work if you’re not going to enjoy it?

So let’s take a moment to find out what your guy is thinking while he’s orally fixated on you so you can stop thinking and start having some fun. Read More »

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. We love a strong woman (unless she happens to be charging at us with her fists raised), so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like colleges giving out condoms!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

We all have our own definitions of what does and doesn’t count as sex. There’s the classic, “just the tip doesn’t count” or the frat party anthem, “if I can’t remember it, it doesn’t count” or, my personal favorite, “he didn’t get off so it doesn’t count.” But apparently there’s a whole new level of not counting at college – according to a survey at the University of Kentucky, only 20% of students think oral sex counts as sex.

On one side, I get where they’re coming from. Truth be told, I’ve never really thought of oral on the same level as “real” sex (aka penetration), and most of the girls I know wouldn’t include a guy in their “number” if they had only given/received head. Whenever schools or parents or after-school specials talked about sex, they always meant horizontal mambo, baby-making sex; I don’t think I even knew oral existed until all of the guys started snickering about it in middle school. And once you got old enough to actually be doing dirty deeds, getting an Australian kiss always seemed more like foreplay than actual legit sex. After all, we were always taught that sex was about emotions and how it was an expression of love, which, I guess shoving your head between someone’s legs kind of is, but it was never the romantic sort of thing that movies and TV shows call sex, so why should it count? Read More »

We’ve always heard that it is far better to give than to receive, but does that hold up in the bedroom? Is it really better to give a little lovin’ than to get it!?

Sure, I like the power I have over a man when I venture south for the evening and the knowledge that I made him very (verrry) happy, but that doesn’t mean I don’t expect a little somethin’ somethin’ in return. Is it really fair to take (and, in some cases, demand in the form of pushing) and never to reciprocate? And why do so many damn guys do that?

Man up, dudes!

Let’s see what my boy friend (notice the space there, ladies) had to say. Read More »