Dear Mom,

Let me start this by saying you’re the best mother around. Seriously.

Going to college helped our relationship immensely. Distance made our hearts grow fonder us stop arguing about nit picky text messages, my apparent attitude problem, and a seriously unfair curfew. But it hasn’t dissipated your tendency to worry about every last thing and while I may never “understand until I have kids”, I still think you can try and address this issue.

I have come to learn your severe overprotective nature is only out of love. In elementary school when I took a spill during the soccer match you didn’t care about running onto the field and stopping the game to check on your baby, even though I would just shrug it off. I remember when my dates would come pick me up in high school you insist that they come in and talk to you every time, no matter how badly I protested. And driving my friends around before the 6 months rule had passed after receiving my license? Forget about it.

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Question?! Answer. TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I have a dilemma. Currently I’m (only) 17 and a junior in high school, though I would like to think that I seem ‘beyond my years.’ At 5’11″, it is not uncommon for adults to think I am older, which can be fun when I’m out on the town with my girls and older guys spark up convos. Lately though, this whole maturity thing has seemed like more of a burden than a blessing. I’m tired of high school; the way teachers still view me as ‘a kid’, the petty drama, and as you can probably guess–the boys.

I have a great group of girl friends who I love so much, and we always manage to cook up some crazy nights out. When I go out with my friends to meet up with guys, they always expect me to get with whoever hits on me. This usually puts me in the awkward situation of being left alone with a Bieber look-alike, trying to form the best pickup line he can muster.

I know that I’m intimidating. I know that I am one of the ‘hot bitch girls who thinks she’s better than everyone.’ But the truth is that I feel so done with it. Most of the guys at my school seem so young, and aren’t very…intellectual. I really love to have actual conversations, no matter how wasted I am, which makes me seem stand-offish to guys who are trying to hook up. The guys who I find interesting are usually people I see being friends with, not hooking up with. At this point I just want to get to know older men, though I am seriously wondering if I might be gay, because I have no interest at all in the guys my age. I am so confused right now, so sorry if this doesn’t make sense. I just don’t see why my friends, who are gorgeous and intelligent, can be open to hooking up with tons of boys, whereas I have to be the one closed off to boys that don’t fit my ‘criteria.’ I would love to be the girl who left all inhibitions at the door, guy-wise. Advice would be great, or just reassurance that this is just a phase.

XOXO,
Men Not Boys Read More »

I’m living in an obnoxiously clean room and my days consist of waking up at 2 pm and then eating for the next 12 hours. It could only mean one thing: break time!

I’ve decided recently, while lying naked in my bed after a shower (try it—it might just be the greatest thing about being home) that this break is 5% nostalgia, 25% catching some Z’s, 20% eating and 50% flat out weird.

While it’s great to see old friends and talk about that one girl in our class who got married in a hush hush courtroom wedding, or to share in on the somberness and tears of the death of our classmates’ family members, such events are not just fodder for ladies’ “let’s catch up!” sessions. More than that, they mark a tangible milestone of the passing of our high school years and the reclamation of something a bit more personal.

I’ve always held my life motto to be that I don’t take myself too seriously—and yet, maybe, taking yourself seriously is what going to college is all about. But in a different sense than what I’d ever thought about.
My good guy pal (who also decided to go to school out of state) attended our high school basketball game last weekend. To him, it was weird sitting in the college section, seeing all the high school girls clad in Ugg boots, visibly clinging to any tentacle of popularity, and all the high school guys standing chests puffed and arms crossed, the picture of hetero manliness. It was weird seeing all these doppelgangers of ourselves past adhering to the unwritten standards of our mainstream Midwest conservative high school. It was weird realizing that we were those people, just a year ago. And it was most disconcerting of all to recognize that we no longer are. Read More »

Student loans have turned me into a Grinch this Christmas.

Even though Christmas is on Saturday, I honestly couldn’t care less this year. With everyone around me so happy and festive, I feel like the odd-woman-out. However, I think I have a decent excuse. Instead of “Jingle Bell Rock” in my head and busy days spent shopping at the mall, I’m singing the Student Loan Blues while staring at my empty bank account.

Ugh. Student loans.

If you graduated last spring and have student loans, you probably feel the same way I do right now considering our loan repayment grace period is over: in over your head! Although I knew this reality was coming, I guess I never thought it would hit me this hard and scare me this much. And I’ll be the first to say, I’m scared that these loans I had to take out to go to college will ruin the rest of my life.

Maybe I’m exaggerating a bit much, but right now, they certainly feel like they are taking hold of my entire life. In order to make payments so I’m in good standing with the lenders, I had to dish out the cash this month to get my payment record off to a good start. And boy, has it hurt. Christmas presents? Yeah … no one I know will be getting one from me. Not even the homemade variety. Will I be getting to see my boyfriend anytime soon? Nope, I don’t have the cash to pay for a plane ticket (ugh, another lovely benefit of being in a long-distance relationship). I can’t help but wonder “Will I ever have money again?”

Now, I probably sound like a Debbie downer, but it’s easy to feel downtrodden and stressed when it seems like you have a whole life ahead of you … centered around owing someone a ton of money. However, I do keep telling myself that one day my college degree will pay off … so maybe it wasn’t a terrible thing after all? Maybe?

This is where I keep my fingers crossed. Read More »

Candy canes, hot chocolate and crowded libraries, they’re all synonymous with one thing–finals season is in the air (or for some at least, it’s already done with and they’re busy tanning their backsides in Barbados). Between writing papers (ew) and eating so much junk food that Cheetos dust is running through my bloodstream, I’ve had some time to reflect over semester one of my college experience. I made some errors, I had some fun, and I figured out that 9 am classes aren’t such a bad thing (if you have a good professor).

So besides information I now know about the international criminal court and how to conjugate Spanish verbs, here is some life knowledge that I’ve gained:

Do not bring a lot of t-shirts from high school: This is more of a personal issue. I have so many Class of 2010/National Honor Society/Cross Country t-shirts that I don’t know what to do with them. After assessing my clothes situation the other day, I realized that I don’t even wear those shirts since they’re irrelevant and instead, I could fill that closet space with better clothes.

If you hook up with a guy that you know, make sure you see him the next day to avoid future awkwardness: This is a tried and true method, my friends. If you don’t see him the next day, the awkwardness and overanalysis of the previous confrontation just builds up and then explodes in your face later on. By seeing him, you re-establish a chill connection immediately after the hookup and it doesn’t give you (or him) time to overanalyze and freak out.

Take fruit from the dining halls: Guys, scurvy isn’t a joke. Neither is cookie addiction. If all you have in your room is junk food, that’s all you will eat at night. However, if you have some carefully and sneakily procured fruit on your desk, you could add a little bit of healthy vitamin C to your night-snacking diet. Read More »

It's the moment of truth, little lady.

We’re well into another new school year and to honor that, we at CollegeCandy are bringing back the fan-favorite series, “We’ve All Been There.”  (We tried to get another national holiday/long weekend for you guys but it’s way harder than we thought so this will have to do.) Every week, Lauren from the University of Michigan will comment on the common experiences all college women share – like class registration, the dreaded muffin top or, everyone’s favorite activity, procrastinating. Read, relate, cringe and enjoy.

Your boxes are unpacked, your bed is made, and your parents have left the building. You are officially a college student.

Woohoo! No more living under their rules. You are a free adult livin’ the dorm life. It takes a few days of getting used to, but you’re finally feeling settled. You’ve even sorta mastered the cafeteria slop. This whole college thing isn’t so hard after all.

That is, until you need to do a little #2 in the public bathroom down the hall. The one every other girl on the hall also frequents to shower, wash up, dry her hair, and do her business. Girls you don’t know. Girls you want to befriend. Feeling the stage fright, you’ve been unable to go for days and, between the cafeteria salad bar (roughage!) and the frat party jungle juice, it’s been rather difficult. Read More »

Halloween in college is a big deal.  Major, really.  You may have thought you hit your trick-or-treating peak in the 3^rd grade when you wrapped yourself in tinfoil and went out as leftovers, but think again.  Unlike Christmas, the 4^th of July, and Thanksgiving, everyone’s on campus for this most hallowed of evenings and the booze will absolutely be flowing (perhaps in cauldrons).

From fog machines to technicolor jello shots, there’s a lot of stimuli to process and as a freshman it’s easy to get overwhelmed.  But novice or otherwise, you’ve got to keep your head, wigged or otherwise, in the game.  Here’s what you can expect as your favorite bars and frat houses become unrecognizable with silly string…

A General Lack of Pants
From dozens of Risky Business-era Tom Cruises to sexy cats/bees/fairies/mice, there will be maximum leggage come October 31^st.  I’m not sure what it is about “everyone dress up crazy” that translates to things being purely pants-optional, but it’s a fact: ass cheeks will show, cellulite will be on parade, hairy man thighs will make a one-night-only appearance.

Dry Ice
Is it edible?  Will it kill you?  Why did those stupid pledges have to go stick it in the jungle juice and ruin a perfectly good concoction?  No, it doesn’t look like witches’ brew.  And the fact that he’s 22 and just drew that connection makes you question his sanity.

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[Meet Margaret, a freshman at Yale. We've been checking in with her every week to see what she's doing, who she's meeting and what new college surprises she's tackling (or freaking out about) as she embarks on the journey we call college. Or as I like to call it, the best thing since Trader Joe's Honey Greek Yogurt. That is, until midterms season hits, of course.]

So I’m new at this whole midterms thing. The idea that I’ve been more or less lounging around for the past 6 weeks and then – wham! – I’m hit with a test that’s worth 40% of my grade…that’s kind of crazy.

Needless to say, this past week has been an acne-inducing, sleep-lacking, chocolate-eating cram week. But, terrible as it was for my complexion and caloric intake, I have to say that this week has definitely taught me some things about studying.

First, it’s much easier to not stress about midterms if you actually know what’s going on in class. I’ve been going to class, but this was definitely problematic for a lot of my classmates. In a lecture of 400 people about something as non-stimulating as econ, it’s easy to doze off. But unfortunately, while you are dreaming about your next Halloween costume, your professor is actually saying important things. Even though my professor puts his notes online, so many of his notes are things where you have to fill in graphs and equations that you learn about in class. Bottom line, try your best not to fall asleep in class and then have to teach yourself everything the week before the exam. Read More »

[Meet Margaret, a freshman at Yale. We've been checking in with her every week to see what she's doing, who she's meeting, and what new college surprises she's tackling (or freaking out about) as she embarks on the journey we call college. Or as I like to call it, the best thing since Trader Joe's Honey Greek Yogurt.]

Okay, so I am completely not a hippie. Let me just get that out there. Incense makes me sneeze, middle-of-the-forehead headbands make me look like an awkward boy and I own nothing made of hemp.

All that being said, I really do value the idea of finding inner peace and the feeling of “chillness.” So much so that one of my favorite teachers pegged me as the type who would go off to college and become one of those offbeat Bohemian types. Like Ashley Olsen.

And I clung to that idea—the idea that college would be a time for lots of self-pondering, free of nagging parents and 7 hour school days. I would ideally sit underneath a tree reading Whitman surrounded by perpetually tan Frisbee players and crooning guitar boys singing love songs aimed indirectly at me. And I would feel self-actualized and understand the deeper version of myself and be eternally fulfilled.

Well this little fantasy has turned out to be flat out false. Read More »

[Meet Margaret, a freshman at Yale. We've been checking in with her every week to see what she's doing, who she's meeting, and what new college surprises she's tackling (or freaking out about) as she embarks on the journey we call college. Or as I like to call it, the best thing since Trader Joe's Honey Greek Yogurt.]

In high school, I had a clear label. I was Ms. Student Government, Ms. Good Grades, Ms. Overachiever. And even though all of our years of primary schooling have told us that labels are totally, totally terrible and that we should define people by their true selves and inner lights, etcetera, Oprah wisdom, etcetera, Oprah wisdom, I’m just going to say this: I heart labels.

Because for some reason, rather than being stifled and held down by my defined structural cocoon of a label, I ultimately felt freer to be anyone I wanted to be. Completely ridiculous, right? Yeah.

By being known as the Smart Girl, I no longer had to prove that part of myself. It was like, I could be flexible. I could get a B on a paper, I could forget to do my homework, I could bomb an English test, but I would still be known as the Smart Girl. I mean, I guess it’s kinda like how Paris Hilton could potentially save puppies and ace an LSAT, but she always has that Party Girl image. Except, the opposite, you know?

It’s like, when you have a defined label, all you need to do is be like, “But wait, that label is not all that defines me.” And wham, you can do whatever you want and you surprise people because obviously Real You is so much more interesting than Labeled You. Read More »