So I don’t know if you ladies have heard or not, but everyone’s favorite heart-throb Hugh Hefner is settling down…again. And this time with 24-year-old Crystal Harris. PopEater tells us that two are getting closer and closer to making it official now that they’ve set a date for the big day. (Read more about that here!) And while Hugh’s ex, Holly Madison, worries about what would happen to Hugh if the two were to divorce I can’t help but wonder what will happen to Crystal if they don’t!

Think about it. Hugh is 84 years old. Crystal is 24 years old. The are 60 years apart! How could this possibly work? Crystal may be thinking of all the things (read: money) she’ll be gaining by marrying Hugh, but maybe she should stop to consider all she’ll be giving up. Marrying an 84-year-old means her life will not be like the average 24-year-old girl’s life, and here’s why.

Your cell phone alarm is going off in your ear to the tune off She Bangs by Ricky Martin, inducing the hangover you worked so hard for last night (note to self: change to something MJ immediately). Your body pillow is the most obliging (and loyal) bed partner you’ve had in months, and the monsoon outside is actually starting to lull you back to sleep. So what’s going to keep you from repeatedly hitting the snooze button and subsequently infuriating your roommates and failing out of school?

The oh so delicious piece of man meat awaiting you at that 9 am roll call.

Now, there’s not going to be a prince charming lurking behind every door, but we came up with a class schedule that is sure to make the grade. Read More »

Last weekend I spent a full day catching up on the happenings of The Millionaire Matchmaker. (Don’t judge…) In one episode, ball-buster Patti Stanger duked it out with Rabbi Something-or-Other-Stein on the topic of morality in regards to her infamous club.

The Rabbi’s argument was that Patti’s club is superficial and that if it is exclusive to millionaires, then those who join the club are essentially marrying for money, and not for any of the “right” reasons.  Patti defended herself insisting that her services provide men with the tools they need to have a successful relationship, and provide women with the comfort of knowing that their potential mate will be able to give them a safe and secure life if a match is made.

My first thought: If only this were the topic of discussion on the Bimah at my own Bat Mitzvah, I may have been able to stay awake.
My second thought: Wait a second, Rabbi may have a point.
My third thought: Uh oh, does this make me a crazy feminist?

Well I’m not ready to stop shaving my armpits quite yet, but I do think The Bearded One has a point. Read More »

Want some options? Try an engineering class. Lots. of. men.

Your cell phone alarm is going off in your ear to the tune off She Bangs by Ricky Martin, inducing the hangover you worked so hard for last night (note to self: change to something MJ immediately). Your body pillow is the most obliging (and loyal) bed partner you’ve had in months, and the monsoon outside is actually starting to lull you back to sleep. So what’s going to keep you from repeatedly hitting the snooze button and subsequently infuriating your roommates and failing out of school?

The oh so delicious piece of man meat awaiting you at that 9 am roll call.

Now, there’s not going to be a prince charming lurking behind every door, but we came up with a class schedule that is sure to make the grade. Read More »

Life would be a whole lot easier if money weren’t an issue, right? You wouldn’t have to worry about those pesky bills, you could travel the world in style, enjoy daily shopping trips at your favorite boutiques…

Whoa. Sorry – zoned out there for a minute.

Anywho, even if people don’t want to admit it, marrying someone with money would be pretty fan-effing-tastic, no?  Just look at all those Real Housewives – their lives aren’t too shabby. Who wouldn’t want to have all that (minus the ridiculous dramz, of course)?

So, is there anything wrong with trying to find a wealthy man to sweep you off your feet? And does looking for a man with a cushy bank account make you a – how did my friend put it? – prostitute? There’s a fine line between liking someone with money and liking someone for money, but, at the end of the day, is either one really ok?

See both sides below, then weigh in on the topic in the comment section! Read More »

Last night’s Tough Love episode made me realize a few things. First, I need to move to L.A. to marry Steve Ward. Second, OMFG, I love Steve Ward. And third, judging a guy based on his footwear is not cute. It’s crazy.

In an effort to show the ladies of the house that there are some things they do that are just not OK to share (or to take part in at all), Steve set up a game show where he shared the girls’ secrets and asked guys what they thought. Turns out letting your cats choose your BF is weird (no way!), but having a giant tattoo around your vagina is not (huh?).

Now, I get the purpose behind this test, and I agree with the guys for the most part (wearing a tiara in your apartment is indeed weird), but did you see the type of dude making up that audience? It looked like Steve Ward hijacked an L.A. Ink tour bus and dumped them in the “Cute or Crazy” studio. What do these guys really know about women?

After getting torn apart by a group of burly men, the women were set up on dates and given another test: to share a secret. Well, everyone but Jessa, who ended up on a date with Steve (that lucky bitch) strapped to a lie detector test. And, well, I guess she shared a secret, too: that she doesn’t like Steve.

WHAT?! Read More »

After last week’s Tough Love ended with a “To Be Continued….” I was counting down the days until I’d get to see it again. So I was mega-excited when I turned on VH1 at the gym yesterday and caught a secret premier of the ep long before its 10 P.M. showtime.

I watched the drama unfold a full 11 hours early and stayed on the elliptical an extra 30 minutes to catch the end. Cha ching!

I realized (after watching the show on a TV that other people could see by simply walking behind me) that this show is ridiculous and sorta trashy, but I am really obsessed with it. And is it so bad to learn a thing or two from a reality show? I’m still single – maybe Steve can clue me in as to why!

Anyways, here’s what happened. Well, at least the important stuff: Read More »

It was Sunday night, which meant a spread of Diet Root Beer, a chopped green apple, a turkey sandwich and my TV tuned to VH1′s Tough Love. Heaven.

Last night we saw Steve challenge the girls to be low maintenance. According to him, if these women want to snag a man, they’ll need to prove they can hang with the boys and not worry about breaking a nail or looking less than picture perfect. I totally get that – whiney girls are unattractive to everyone…even me – but this specific challenge did seem a bit much for me. Why do the girls have to do all the changing? Why can’t guys just accept the delicate flower that is their manicure-loving lady? Read More »

It’s your BFF. You’ve known her since you were five. And yeah, you just spent a whole paycheck on housing, but you still need her to hang out. But still, you’re both broke, college students. So who’s taking the brunt, financially? If you feel like you are controlling your spending, but still can’t figure out where your cash is going… I hate to say it, but it might be your friends. Read More »

As if it wasn’t hard enough to weed out all the sketchies at the bar already, we now have something else to be suspicious of. His phone number.Well, not the actual number, but what he writes it on.

There’s no doubt in my mind that the creator of these Custom Fake Receipts must be some, graduated college in nine years Van-Wilder-type frat boy living off Daddy’s money ‘til he struck it rich thanks to the desperate-for-female-attention market he once was so proudly a part of. (You know those guys that will do absolutely anything to get in your pants?)

These counterfeit ATM slips have an agonizingly pathetic purpose. The gameplan? Mr. I-Used-Four-Bottles-of-Gel-to-Get-My-Hair-Like-This actually succeeds in buying some innocent girl enough drinks to get her nice and sloppy, and just when her beer goggles have set in just right, (he looks more like James Marsden than James Gandolfini all of a sudden) he whips out one of these slips. Read More »