There’s no question that the spectacle of figure skating is enchanting, but given recent criticism of its methods– is it a sport?

A sport should require athleticism, of which figure skating has plenty.  Training for figure skating requires hours of strength training and conditioning. The skills executed in programs, from jumps to spins to spirals, are not easily acquired. Take away the glittery costumes and lilting music, and figure skating programs appear grittier and tougher.

But athleticism means nothing if there isn’t an objective and regimented manner to determine winners. At the moment, all competitions operated under the International Skating Union (including the Olympic Games) adhere to a scoring system that assigns points for the difficulty of skill and the quality of their execution.  But consider that in this year’s men’s singles division at the Olympics, Evan Lysacek captured the gold medal despite his failure to attempt any quadruple jumps (the most difficult skill to execute). Other skaters, including silver medalist Evgeny Plushenko, successfully landed quadruple jumps. Some argue that Lysacek’s win is fair, because artistry should be just as crucial to scoring as difficulty, while others believe the Olympic champion should be someone who performs to world-class standards, quad jumps and all.

Essentially, there are concerns about the validity of the scoring system for this very problem. The fact that a skater like Lysacek can go home with a gold medal without having performed the most technically difficult program sends a message to young skaters that you can train as hard as you can to be the most technically proficient as possible, but the subjective evaluations of the judges are the only key to gold.  The result is that figure skating rests precariously between sport (such as skiing) and art (such as ballet).  There is definitely a competitive and athletic component to figure skating, but it also has a subjective quality, one that emphasizes certain skaters at certain times for certain reasons.

Despite these concerns, figure skating is and will remain the marquee event of the Winter Olympics. There will always be something charming about girls who achieve celebrity and world-class validation before they are even old enough to drive. There are few among us who can’t relate to childhood dreams of becoming an Olympic (or Super Bowl, or World Series) champion, and the thrill of watching it happen in a visually pleasing manner is timeless. In the moment a young skater recieves her gold medal, the quarter-turns and point-deductions and quadruple jumps all melt away.

As such, figure skating may not be a sport–but does it matter?

Too bad we’re not good at anything. Well, anything that matters, anyway. It’s not like they’re going to be adding beer pong to the Summer Games anytime soon, or giving out golds for walking through the snow in heels. Both of which would surely earn us a medal and maybe even a Wheaties box.

And that got us thinking. If we were Olympians, what would we medal in? After all, if Curling can be considered a sport (isn’t that just Swiffering?), why not these:

Rachael – University of Miami: Definitely klutziness, socializing, and anything relating to rhetoric/debate. Clearly, athletics is not my strong point. . . .

Lauren H – The New School: My guy always says I’d take the gold in sleeping – I can nap anywhere, anytime, and I don’t drool or snore! Bring it on!

Jessica – Hofstra: I would get a gold medal for whining until I get my way, procrastinating, and shopping.

Sarabeth – University of Texas: I’d get a gold medal in baking. Not gonna lie, my low fat cheesecake is pretty much the shiz.

Melanie – Northeastern University: I’d take the gold in exaggerating and pounding Starbucks ice cream.

Megan – Penn State: What Michael Phelps is to swimming, I am to losing my phone.

Brittany – University of Saint Thomas: I would receive a gold metal in complaining about Minnesota weather, raising the roof, and a cereal (Cinnamon Toast Crunch, please) eating contest.

Jackelyn – San Francisco State University: Unfortunately, I’d get a gold medal in procrastination. It’s unbelievable how good I am at it!

Kari – Florida State: I’d go for the gold in saying incredibly awkward things and being productive while hungover.

Sara C – Fordham: If they were handing out medals for memorizing Seinfeld quotes, I’d have the gold all wrapped up!

Emmy-Loyola University Chicago: If being late were a sport, I would for sure be the world champion!

Cristina – Michigan State University: Sleeping hours past my alarm clock and being the only person I know who doesn’t gag when they smell straight vodka.

Kim – University of Delaware: Tripping/falling/waking up with bruises and having no idea where they came from.

Meg – University of Delaware: If I were an olympian, I’d definitely get gold in list making (with a sliver in checking things off), a gold in driving (too) fast and a gold in eating more than I should.

Kim – Stanford: I’d win a gold medal in kicking ass and taking names.

Carly – Grinnell: I often brag about how I would totally bag a gold for carrying groceries. I get a little carried away at the store and find myself walking home while balancing four huge paper bags and simultaneously fishing for my keys and unlocking the apartment door. YES! She nails it!!

Norah – Drake University: I’d take the gold in procrastination, snacking and knowing way too much about the Winter Olympics. I only care about sports for two weeks every four years, so I want to make it count! (Shameless self-promotion: check out my Olympics blog.)

Alex – Lakehead University: Going for the gold in wasting time. I can literally do nothing for an entire day.

Maddie – Tufts: I’d win a gold medal in painting nails… I always say it’s my fallback option for next year if I don’t get a job.

Jessica – FIT: I would have a gold medal in the art of tequila.

Brithny – Duke: If shopping were a sport, I’d be the Michael Phelps of SoHo.

Jessica – Delaware: I’d definitely get a gold medal in sarcasm and one-liners

Kelly – University of Iowa: Losing things. Honestly, if I’m carrying it in my hand I will lose it. Since college started I’ve lost my debit card 5 times, my credit card twice, and my student ID 4 times. And each are $20 to replace.

Julia – UC Berkeley: Text messaging.  I can craft any text for anybody in record time.

Hannah- Assumption College: I would score a gold medal in grocery shopping on a budget and rapping to Lil’ Wayne songs. Sometimes at the same time.

American snowboarded Shaun White had already won gold before his final run on the half-pipe.

His first attempt earned him the highest score of the competition, so White had nothing to lose. But the red-headed sensation gave it his all and performed his Double McTwist 1260, a move he perfected in secret on his own private half-pipe.

“This was unlike any season I’ve had,” White said after repeating as the Olympic champ. (He won gold in the 2006 Torino games as well.)

Didn’t see it? Watch the video (and insane flip) right here!

Even Quatchi wants to play!

Why do we love the Olympics? Is it the patriotism? Is it the two week long parade of international hotties? The never ending supply of Lifetime movie-worthy inspirational stories? The adrenaline rush of nonstop athletic competition?

If you’re like us at CollegeCandy, the answer is a big Y-E-S to to all of the above. But in case you’re an Olympic skeptic, we’ve got the perfect drinking game to get you in the spirit and have some fun with the ’round-the-clock coverage soon to take over a television set near you.  (Not like you needed an excuse to party every night for two weeks, right?)

What you’ll need:
A television set
A few copies of these rules
A bevy of your closest/rowdiest friends
Your drink of choice!

The Rules:
There are three categories for the game, which are self-explanatory and are as follows: Take a Drink, Take Two Drinks, and Finish Your Drink.

Take A Drink when:

* A competitor from your country takes the ice/slopes.
* Bob Costas appears.
* You hear the phrase, “[Insert athlete name here] is a superstar in his/her homeland.”
* You hear the phrase, “a truly inspirational story.”
* The camera pans to an athlete’s family members in the crowd.
* You hear the words “determination,” “focus,” “stamina,” “speed,” or “grace”
* Scenery from Vancouver is shown.
* There are flashbacks to Olympics of years past.
* It’s snowing.

Take Two Drinks when:

* A national anthem is played.
* A male figure skater’s costume has as much, if not more, sparkle than his female partner.
* A competitor scores a new record for his or her country.
* An athlete wins his or her second (or third, or fourth, etc.) Olympic medal. Take a third drink if it’s a multiple within this Olympiad.
* Any segment on Canadian/Vancouver culture is shown.
* Someone younger than you wins a medal.
* There’s a crash!
* There is a video montage of an athlete’s story of overcoming adversity (poverty, an injury, etc.)
* Any final is decided by less than a second (i.e. if a speedskater wins by 0.35 seconds) or less than a point.
* A skater lands a quadruple jump.

Finish Your Drink when:

* A world record is set.
* A competitor from your country wins gold.
* Anyone representing a “non-wintery” country (think: Jamaican bobsled team) wins a medal.
* Someone receives a perfect score.
* Curling is on (it’s the only way to get through it, really)

Most importantly, remember to drink responsibly!

We’re back with another edition of G.W.W.E. (Guys We Wanna Eff)!

Nothing beats a night of chillin’ with my boys (and girls), catching a b-ball game, and having a beer. Ok, I take that back. There is one thing that beats it and that is when the Denver Nuggets are playing and my eyes are trained on the moves of Carmelo Anthony.

This man could turn anyone into a basketball fan.

Right now, Melo‘s sitting pretty awaiting the start of the Western Conference NBA Semifinals, but he’s had an illustrious basketball career thus far. After leading the Syracuse Orangemen to an NCAA National Championship his freshman year in 2003, Melo went pro with the Nuggets. And though the small forward has helped Denver make the playoffs each year during his NBA career, this is the first season in which they’ve made it past the first round.

If things are heating up on the court, you know they will be in the bedroom…

Oh, and did I mention Melo is a two-time Olympic medalist?  He brought Team USA to the medal podium in Athens in 2004 (for a bronze) and last summer in Beijing when they won the gold. Are those Olympic medals in his pocket or his he just happy to see me?

It’s clear that Anthony has been really effin’ successful, so it’s no wonder he’s engaged to MTV VJ, La La. The two had a son in 2007, but they’ve apparently been engaged since 2004. After five years, what’s the wait? Maybe he’s sick of her courtside outbursts? Maybe he can ponder his options with a little road-game effing. Next time you’re playing the Knicks, Melo, give me a call!

[So, tell me. Who are some of the guys you wanna eff?]

We haven’t heard much from Michael Phelps since he won 8 gold medals, bombed on SNL, starred in some Rosetta Stone commercials, and got a stripper girlfriend. So here he is. In all his hot body glory. Because he’s so much hotter when he’s not talking. Or trying to act.

But, just because I don’t know how to dive off of a really high platform or do flips on some uneven bars doesn’t mean that I, too, am not the best at something. I have some talents too, and they should not be shunned just because I can’t bring them to Beijing.

So, I give you the 5 Sports I Would Win a Gold In (If They Were Included In The Olympics):

1. Cake Eating: With or without hands, I would totally take the cake (Ha!) in this event. I have a big mouth (to the chagrin of my mother and the glee of my men) that allows me to store massive quantities of cake and frosting goodness. I also happen to be able to seriously pack food away (which allowed me to excel in another sport: weight gain), so there is no stopping me in this competition.

2. Late Night Stiletto Run: While Michael Phelps was doin’ his thing in the pool, I was dedicating hours to perfecting this skill. I dare anyone to race me to the nearest pizza place in a pair of heels. You can even throw a few hurdles (girl passed out on sidewalk, traffic, or inclement weather) in my way and I will beat out all the competition. Yes, even the Chinese.

3. The Bargain Hunt: I have been practicing this one since I left the womb. Show me an item and I will find it for you cheaper. And I will do it fast.

4. That’s What She Said: I can turn anything into something sexual at a record breaking speed. (That’s what she said.) I don’t care how hard it is (that’s what she said), or how many people are involved (that’s what she said). I like to do it hard and do it fast (that’s what she said).

5. Bullsh*tting: I hate to toot my own horn (that’s what she said), but I am really good at making people think I care/like them/have any interest in what they have to say. My combination head nod, mixed with witty banter have fooled people for years and I have no doubt I would rock it in Beijing (even with the language barrier).

But then the games began (and Michael put on a swim cap/Speedo) and I began to see what everyone else was talking about. I mean – this guy was looking good. Really good. Like, “I kinda sorta (read: totally) wanna do him” good. He is pretty much as close to perfect as any man can get.

Don’t agree? Here are 5 Reasons Why I Want to Do The Breast Stroke (see how I made a swimming term into something sexual? Yeah, I’m that good) With Michael Phelps:

He’s Got Moves: Maybe it’s just me, but when I watch Phelps dive off the platform and do that little mermaid move….well, I can only think dirty, naughty things. He knows how to use his body well and I have a feeling that little move would work wonders both in and out of the pool.

He Loves His Mama: There is nothing more attractive than a guy who loves his mother. Not only is that the sweetest thing ever, but it means is going to respect you and treat you well, too.

Lots o Bling: I love gold and Phelps has more gold around his neck than 50 Cent… and that is saying a lot. Plus, he earned them the hard way (not simply by getting shot 50 times, writing some crappy rap song and buying a giant gold plate encrusted in diamonds to show off to the ladies).

Stamina: Have you ever tried to swim 400 meters against the fastest men in the world? Me either (I prefer to float…with a beer in the raft’s cup holder), but I bet it’s really effing hard. Not for Mikey; this dude has some serious stamina, and you know that will translate well into the bedroom. No, “Oops! I’m sorry…” here; Phelps is in it until the end.

He’s Not Afraid of Rubber/Latex: The guy wears a rubber cap for a living – he won’t have a problem wearing the other rubber cap in the bedroom.

Come to mama, Michael.

Yeah, I’ll say it: I laughed out loud. And it felt good.

And, being that last night’s episode was all about the Olympic games, I decided it was only fitting to choose an MVP. And, quite obviously, it is going to Blayne and his many hilaaaarious one-liners:

“Other people go to the gym. I go tanning.”

“The Olympics are HUMUNGOUS! SO big. Thousands and millions and billions of people. Heck yeah I’m going for the Gold!”

“In tanning, I’m an Olympic athlete. It only goes to Bronze medal.”

“I just don’t do the Beatles…Sorry Ringo.”

I know he seems to be melting due to his lack of tanning, but I think it makes me like him more. And he has all those bright 80’s Hyper Color t-shirts; he’ll get through it. Oh, and he is MVP purely for what he says. His design sucked.

The challenge this week was to design the outfits for Team USA to wear to the Opening Ceremonies of the 2008 Olympics. Not that they would actually be wearing them. Pshaw! Ralph Lauren designed that sh*t. But, Bravo (owned by NBC, which is running the games) needed to throw the plug in there somehow, so they did.

Anyways, Apolo Ohno explained the challenge to the designers and, in doing so, completely messed everyone up. Apolo, darling, you are cute but you are not too quick. When talking to designers (many of whom are GAY MEN WHO DON’T WATCH SPORTS), you cannot describe the opening ceremonies as, “a fashion show for the Olympics.” These designers do not watch the opening ceremonies and, no matter how many museums they go to, when they hear “fashion show” they will design for a fashion show. Not a sporting event.

And you saw the runway….do you not agree?

The stuff those designers walked down that runway was designed for 1 type of person: a model. I watched that show in horror wondering what those weightlifters/gymnasts would look like in that stuff. One word: AWFUL. These designers ALL missed the mark on this challenge. And it is Apolo’s fault.

In the end, the judges agree with me. (Does that make me REALLY smart, or was this just completely obvious?) Boring Jennifer with her grandma attire gets sent home and Korto takes home the Gold. Personally, I LOVED Terry’s outfit, but maybe the judges were worried about muscley arms fitting into that jacket? Whatever, I want it. Terry, call me!

It was an exciting and hilarious episode and I just hope this is a sign of things to come for the rest of the season. I just can’t f-ing wait for Stella to be called out by the judges/PETA for her constant use of leatha, for Suede to stop saying things are “Wackadoodle” and for Daniel to test his sexuality with Kenley. That would make my year, fo sho.