Advice can often be a tricky thing. You want to listen to your mother when she tells you pleat-front khakis are becoming of a young lady. You want to listen to your best friend when she tells you you should definitely text your crush again because, like, maybe the last one didn’t go through. You want to listen to your older sister when she tells you not to mix Malibu, Natty Ice and 2 a.m. leftover pizza.

Like I said. You want to. But should you? Well, probably in the case of your dear ol’ sis. But pleat front khakis? Unacceptable!

And when it comes to matters of the heart…that sh*t cray! But one Hollywood celeb dishes out her words of wisdom, and you know what? She pretty much hits the nail on the head.

While searching for bad advice articles for this week’s column, I came (teehee) across one article that I loved so much I had to share it with all of you. The article is about female orgasm and it packages some of the best sex advice men can get into a relatively short and easy-to-read article. While this article gives me hope that guys might be learning something out there in the big world of men’s mags, it also worries me that those same guys will internalize everything they catch on these sites.

But, what can I do about it? If dudes are learning how to please a lady, who am I to argue?
Ladies, read this article with your partner!!

This Week’s Article: 10 Lessons About The Female Orgasm by Men’s Health.

Some highlights:

Men’s Health Says:“Just as you’re concerned about lasting longer, many women are so self-conscious about taking too long that they end up faking orgasm or deciding to go without.”
I Say: YES! This is one of my biggest insecurities during sex, but I didn’t realize it was so common!

Men’s Health Says: “Talent—more than rugged good looks or a chiseled midsection—is a powerful aphrodisiac, according to research by my colleagues at The Kinsey Institute.”
I Say: This is so true. A passionate, talented man is SO much more attractive to me than a blonde model-boy.

Men’s Health Says: “During foreplay, gently brush the tops, bottoms, and sides of her breasts; these areas are actually more sensitive than an unaroused areola and nipple.“
I Say: I HATE when boys go straight to the nipples and start pinching and twisting. I’m not a radio that needs tuning! Please, focus on the entire boob. Both of them!

Men’s Health Says: “Lie next to her, lightly bracing the heel of one hand just above her clitoris. Now run your ring and middle fingers along the length of her outer lips. Graze the skin at first, adding pressure as the tension builds. Cup the area around her clitoris with your palm to add indirect stimulation—most women are too sensitive to receive direct contact early on…”
I Say: Yes, yes, and yes…

Men’s Health Says: “We love it when you try new things, and it’s important to vary your technique, but once you’ve found a winner, stick with it until she crosses the finish line.”
I Say: There is nothing more frustrating then being RIGHT THERE and having you change the rhythm or angle and losing it completely. Of course guys only have the best intentions, but if the lady is enjoying herself it’s always good to stick with what works until we initiate a change.

Men’s Health Says: “A woman’s orgasm threshold drops after her first one, so it’s often easier to bring her to climax through penetration after she’s already had one. How does that sound for an encore?”
I Say: I didn’t know this but I’m glad I do now. Bring on the multiples!

There are even more great tips in the article, so get your ass over to Men’s Health and read it!

Do you ladies have any more suggestions for pleasing a woman in bed?

Stuff you should not bring to the dorms.

1 – Your $20,000 stereo system.

Yes, I know its got ‘mad subs’ and is both bangin’ and bumpin’ but here’s the reality of the situation. We hate your music. I don’t care who you are and how diverse your tastes are, there are people who hate what you listen to and don’t want to hear it. Additionally, even if your musical taste is somehow Christ-like in its openness, there are times where people don’t want to hear music of any type, and these times may not coincide with your own. Your giant stereo shares noise with all ears, everywhere, and that isn’t necessary. Learn to use headphones and leave you’re cribs-esque sh*t at home.

2 – Frivolous Kitchen Stuff

Here are the following items I have personally seen people bring that have pissed other people off: a popcorn maker, a cotton candy machine, a full sized wok, a 12 speed blender…the list goes on. Do not bring kitchen sh*t you have either no intention of using or have no idea how to operate. The popcorn and cotton candy guy buzz killed every party, the Wok guy set fire to our paper towels, and the 12 speed blender kid supplied samples for everyone at a high velocity. Also, you are a freshman and you are godd*mn filthy. You never clean your sh*t, and the more sh*t you have, the less clean you are overall. Something else to consider: as soon as people get drunk this stuff is getting abused. The wok was used as a sled. Which was cool, but broken now.

3 – Your drum kit

But bro, I want to jam with my mans and them! Every time I see someone unloading a drum kit on move-in day I simultaneously create a scenario where their roommates try to kill them using snakes. If you bring your drum kit to the dorms, you are that kid that everyone hates. The dorms are not your apartment, they are where people sleep and study. Every music college ever has practice rooms with drum sets and no one at a non-music college needs a drum kit. If you bring a set with you but don’t practice in the dorms, fine, whatever. If you have a sweet electronic drum kit with headphones, awesome. If you have a bitchin’ jazz fusion kit that totally surrounds you, that is so cool and I bet your band is sweet but setting that sh*t up in a forced triple is a complete mistake. You will regret it.

4 – Exercise Equipment

Exerbike, treadmill, bowflex, etc. There are noisy and absurd and when I saw my roommate loading one in I rubbed my eyes in complete disbelief. Here is the solution to the problems I’m sure these people are having about getting this stuff up the stairs or in the car. It’s called a gym. Your school has one. Or, join the YMCA. It’s cheap and mostly clean. Also, like cooking sh*t, exercise equipment and drunkenness is a recipe for disaster, as anyone who has tried to see how fast exactly a treadmill can go will tell you.