I have been in college for almost a month, and so far my biggest problem is something I’ve done quite easily — making friends.

During Orientation, people began to cling together because, in truth, all of us were friendless. So my group of friends developed depending on with whom I ate lunch one day, who also got lost trying to return to my dorm after a party, or who was sitting next to me at one of the many assemblies. I am not complaining about my friends — they are all genuinely nice people – but I wonder: if we had gone to school from pre-K to twelfth grade, would they even give me a second glace? Would I give them?

I feel like making these friends so hastily isn’t really making any true connections. Maybe this is because I’ve never moved away, and so have known all my high school friends for years. I know them inside and out, and I am really grateful for them. Now I have plenty more people programmed into my cell phone than I did in last fall. I can call over ten girls to go eat lunch, or procrastinate by watching a movie. I can say hello to at least five friends every time I walk somewhere.

But what kind of claim is that, when I don’t know anything about them other than the generic five questions I have asked and been asked for the last few weeks. 1) What’s your name? 2) What dorm do you live in? 3) What are you interested in studying? 4) Where are you from? 5) Do you want to exchange cell phone numbers?

There is no number 6: What is it about you that would make us good friends? Read More »

Dear Friend On A Diet,

I am so proud of you for making such a positive, health conscious change in your life. Also, you look hot. However, that does not mean that I want to know the calorie/fat/transfat content of the food I am CURRENTLY EATING.

I am trying to be very supportive of you, not asking you to share an order of nachos, not pushing you to match me beer for whatever low-carb crap you are drinking. This is what good friends do. And for this I am rewarded with a play by play of your diet and exercise habits, including handy tips for me! Ahem. There are several things I would like you to understand before I continue:

1. I understand. I have been a very successful dieter in the past, and I know how your every thought becomes consumed with what you will eat in the next meal, day, week. Been there, obsessed over that.

2. A follow up to #1: I KNOW all this. I have been a dieter. A good one. A well-researched one. What do I say when you tell me the fiber content of a cereal that I already know?! I don’t need to one up you, but if I express polite interest (“oh, really? Fascinating.”) it will only encourage you and make things worse for me, the disinterested yet diplomatic friend. Please, appreciate my situation, and help me avoid it. Read More »

One of my good friends finished college. Three cheers for her, I say! Way to get it done in four years.

Last night, though, this same good friend also got engaged to her boyfriend of two years. Um. Congratulations?

Yeah, yeah, so they’re in love, whatever. I get it.

I was in love once. I never actually talked to the guy, but it was there. I’m still a little baffled by her annoucement of love and commitment at such a tender age as 22. Maybe it’s me, but a lot of the time, I still feel 14. I just have so much to learn about myself before I can conceive of taking the black – and – white plunge.

And before she started dating her boyfriend — oops, i mean her fiance — my friend was right there with me, braiding my hair in the photobooth with an economy bag of fun – size Snickers and a stack of trashy magazines.

Now, she has the Big Job, the Big Ring, the Big Life, and I’m wondering what to do with all these issues of Jane and feeling like I should take the training wheels of my bike. Read More »