Regardless of your relationship status, there will be situations and the people that stir them up, who at any point in time, will have you questioning what’s really important in life. It just so happens, though, that probability of that sort of drama infiltrating your life spikes when you’re single. There are some people who take the dating game a little too seriously, who extract meanings from things everybody else thinks are harmless, and more often than not, those people are looking for someone to blame. Luckily, the Single Girl Society has you covered with a general rule of thumb on how to deal with people who don’t always have your best interest in heart, or for that matter, don’t even really have a heart.

Lesson #47: When it comes to people: If they’re toxic, cut them out, and if they’re people you wish you could be more like, hold them tight.

There really only are two kinds of people in our lives: life ruiners — those that make you wonder how you’ll get by; and life savers — those who you wouldn’t be able to get through the hardship without. Read More »

Friends are important. They’re there for you, no matter what. They’re there to make you laugh. They’re there to let you cry. They’re there for nights out and nights in and cram sessions and outfit emergencies. They let you rant about boys and books and bars and beer.  You can talk for hours and text all night long. And they will never complain. They make your life a little bit easier, and a lot more entertaining.

And its only right that we return the favor, treat them equally awesome in all areas of friendship. But even with the best of intentions, it’s easy to get sidetracked. Life is busy and staying touch is hard. And scheduling time in for her panic attacks as well as your own can get kind of tricky.

Maybe CollegeCandy can make that a little easier?
Here are five easy ways to be a good friend.

1. Make time to chat. Like I said, life is busy. And whether you and your bestie live down the hall or across the country staying in touch is never easy. But if you don’t know what’s going on in her life how will you know when to start in on rules 2-5. Skype or Facebook message. Text or e-mail. Take a coffee break or do dinner. But make time to chat. She’ll appreciate that you care enough to care about her life.

2. Listen before you speak. It’s important to give advice (see rule number 3) but before you do that you need to know what’s going on. Okay fine, so maybe you know that the guy she’s crying over is so not worth her tears. But she obviously doesn’t think so. Find out why. Don’t speak over her and don’t give your opinion before she’s given hers. Know the situation, understand where she’s coming from, and then… Read More »

I was studying for my Calc midterm with one of my sorority sisters last night, and like good students (hey, we were studying on a Thursday night, cut us some slack) we were soon off the topic of derivatives and onto to the topic of boys. Anna and I were trying to figure out the strange tapestry of relationships that make up our lives, venting that life would be a hell of a lot easier if there were less gray areas in relationships and more “Okay, we are officially exclusively dating” talks.

You know, your typical late night girl talk.

When I finally packed up my books and left the library, the conversation stuck with me. Anna, who is currently single and never really dated anyone in high school, was telling me about how she had never understood all of the things that some girls put up with to be in a relationship.  “I just don’t understand why such amazing girls settle for some losers. There is nothing scary about being single until the right person comes along.”

Now, obviously, there are lots of great guys out there that she was not referring to. And, obviously, a lot of girls out there are single and enjoying it. Yet, Anna really made me think, and I realized that when I first got out of my crazy long-term relationship, it took months before I would let people call me single. Months! I was so scared of the term, of what it implied and of actually being single. Now I realize that Anna is right – that there is nothing bad about being single and nothing missing, either. Read More »

I have been in college for almost a month, and so far my biggest problem is something I’ve done quite easily — making friends.

During Orientation, people began to cling together because, in truth, all of us were friendless. So my group of friends developed depending on with whom I ate lunch one day, who also got lost trying to return to my dorm after a party, or who was sitting next to me at one of the many assemblies. I am not complaining about my friends — they are all genuinely nice people – but I wonder: if we had gone to school from pre-K to twelfth grade, would they even give me a second glace? Would I give them?

I feel like making these friends so hastily isn’t really making any true connections. Maybe this is because I’ve never moved away, and so have known all my high school friends for years. I know them inside and out, and I am really grateful for them. Now I have plenty more people programmed into my cell phone than I did in last fall. I can call over ten girls to go eat lunch, or procrastinate by watching a movie. I can say hello to at least five friends every time I walk somewhere.

But what kind of claim is that, when I don’t know anything about them other than the generic five questions I have asked and been asked for the last few weeks. 1) What’s your name? 2) What dorm do you live in? 3) What are you interested in studying? 4) Where are you from? 5) Do you want to exchange cell phone numbers?

There is no number 6: What is it about you that would make us good friends? Read More »

Dear Friend On A Diet,

I am so proud of you for making such a positive, health conscious change in your life. Also, you look hot. However, that does not mean that I want to know the calorie/fat/transfat content of the food I am CURRENTLY EATING.

I am trying to be very supportive of you, not asking you to share an order of nachos, not pushing you to match me beer for whatever low-carb crap you are drinking. This is what good friends do. And for this I am rewarded with a play by play of your diet and exercise habits, including handy tips for me! Ahem. There are several things I would like you to understand before I continue:

1. I understand. I have been a very successful dieter in the past, and I know how your every thought becomes consumed with what you will eat in the next meal, day, week. Been there, obsessed over that.

2. A follow up to #1: I KNOW all this. I have been a dieter. A good one. A well-researched one. What do I say when you tell me the fiber content of a cereal that I already know?! I don’t need to one up you, but if I express polite interest (“oh, really? Fascinating.”) it will only encourage you and make things worse for me, the disinterested yet diplomatic friend. Please, appreciate my situation, and help me avoid it. Read More »

One of my good friends finished college. Three cheers for her, I say! Way to get it done in four years.

Last night, though, this same good friend also got engaged to her boyfriend of two years. Um. Congratulations?

Yeah, yeah, so they’re in love, whatever. I get it.

I was in love once. I never actually talked to the guy, but it was there. I’m still a little baffled by her annoucement of love and commitment at such a tender age as 22. Maybe it’s me, but a lot of the time, I still feel 14. I just have so much to learn about myself before I can conceive of taking the black – and – white plunge.

And before she started dating her boyfriend — oops, i mean her fiance — my friend was right there with me, braiding my hair in the photobooth with an economy bag of fun – size Snickers and a stack of trashy magazines.

Now, she has the Big Job, the Big Ring, the Big Life, and I’m wondering what to do with all these issues of Jane and feeling like I should take the training wheels of my bike. Read More »