I’ve been looking back on my sexual history lately and I’ve realized that I’m pretty lucky. Minus one or two “off” times, I can’t say I’ve had a lot of bad sex. While I try my best not to do a lot of comparing, I think I’ve found the difference between the good times and the not-so-good times – communication.

It blows my mind how many people have sex without ever communicating to their partners about their likes and dislikes. As much as we might will it to happen, our partners aren’t mind readers. Chances are they’re going off of what worked for them in the past, what they wish you would do to them in return, or what they’ve seen in porn. While you might get lucky and it’ll do the trick, most people need a few pointers in order to really get what works for you

I know, I know, talking explicitly about sex can be a little awkward sometimes (well, I would assume it is for some people… I do it on a weekly basis so I’m kinda used to it). Not to be too blunt, but if you can’t talk about what you’re going to do, you shouldn’t be doing it. That said, I want all my readers to be getting the satisfying sex they deserve, so here’s some pointers on how to communicate effectively what you like without sounding like a dominatrix:

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Last week I gave some pointers about how we girls can kick ass in the bedroom. This week, it’s the boys’ turn. My boyfriend is, by far, the best sex/oral I’ve ever had, and for a while I was actually freaked out that he would spoil me for life. To solve that issue, I had him write a guide on how to please to a woman (that I could assign as homework to any future boyfriends).

Since I don’t see myself dating anyone else any time soon (this Natasha Bedingfield song is totally my life right now), I’ve decided to share it with all of you so that someone will benefit from all this hard work.. So here it is, courtesy of Mr. Amazing himself, and edited with some careful consideration by yours truly.

Lesson One: Oral Stimulation

Kelly Says: Oral stimulation is ALL about the clitoris. Know it, love it, lavish it.

The Boy’s Guide:

1. Stimulate the area with your tongue, but do not apply direct contact to the magic spot until the end. Most women are too sensitive for direct contact right away, and the longer you tease her, the better she will feel in the end.

2. IMPORTANT: feel out what she likes. Pay attention to her bodily responses to various types of strokes and methods. It’s really not that difficult if you focus on her pleasure, rather than waiting for your own. Read More »

I’m just gonna say it, I’m good in bed. I might be a little arrogant about it, but a big part of good sex is confidence, so I think it’s OK to be a bit smug. A lot of girls are insecure about their performance in the bedroom, but there’s really no reason to be. Being good in bed is much simpler then you think. Here are some tips from an expert:

Enjoy Yourself. If it’s good for you, it’ll be good for your partner. Knowing what you like and how to ask for it takes the stress of figuring it out off your partner so you’re both free to relax and enjoy. Don’t know what you like? Start masturbating.

Try New Things. It’s always good to break the routine. Trying new positions, places, toys, etc. might help you both discover a new favorite.

Be Dirty. Don’t hold back and don’t worry about your manners. Read More »