How to purge your closet

In case you didn’t know Good Morning America was dying for ratings

Great, now sex can be deadly

NO! The answer to this is NO!

Celeb’s then and now school photos

12-year-old boy to prove Einstein wrong

One pop star. Two babies. I’m in love.

Wait…how did Kanye manage to snag a girlfriend?

So Diet Coke is now sporting designer bottles. They look cool!

What do you think of Selena’s outfit?

Was it specifically the whipped cream that scarred Mrs. Perry?

Sheen’s recent tirades also beg the question: “Is he bipolar?” (Seriously, watch the video. It’s quite disturbing.)

During a recent interview with ABC News, Sheen seemed to be on an entirely different level, or realm, than the interviewer or audience. His behaviors were wired and his words were erratic. When questioned about his alleged sobriety, Charlie said this: “I am on a drug, it’s called ‘Charlie Sheen.’ It’s not available cuz if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off and children will weep over your exploded body,” said Sheen.

….Yeah.

Though he claims to not remember when was the last time he used drugs, he also boasted that when he was using, he “exposed people to magic. I exposed them to something that they otherwise would not see in their boring, normal lives. And I gave that to them!”

And after that, he claimed he will never relapse because of a “click in his brain” that has him moved on from his partying days. Because that’s all it takes. People close to him are worried. And so are we, much like we were when Lindsay Lohan hit the Britney-head-shaving level of rock bottom.

Charlie Sheen needs some serious help, and fast. Otherwise, it’s only a matter of time until we all watch him spiral out of control toward a tragic ending.

In the early decade, America was swarmed with teen pop (and R&B) stars. After all the greats had grown up and moved on to better things, we were left starless. Destiny’s Child had become Destiny’s Woman. Brittany Spears had gone from a teen cutie to a sexy bombshell that you had to convince your parent was still making albums with no parental advisory. Backstreet Boys turned to Backstreet Men. N’Sync turned to…Justin.

And then – voila!- there was Aaron Carter, Lil Bow Wow, B2K, Lil Romeo, 3LW, Ciara, Jo-Jo, Jesse McCartney, and yes, even our occasional Disney Actors “ternt sangas” (as T-Pain would say). But where were the breakthrough stars?

Then, we met Chris Brown and Rihanna.

Where do I begin? Robyn “Rihanna” Fenty met us fresh out of high school with island sounds and a pretty face. America hadn’t seen anything this hot since Beyonce went solo. She was sexy, had a cute bohemian accent and best of all, she was young. I won’t say she had a voice like Whitney, but with her island themed club bangers and heartbreaking lyrics, she appealed to the industry and slowly but surely became a household name. Finally, after the release and re-release of her third and most sought after album of 2007 “Good Girl Gone Bad,” we knew she was just getting started. She became the face of Def Jam, Covergirl and the tabloids all in one year. Where did she hang out? What was she wearing? Who was she dating? In 2008, we found out.

Chris Brown. A singing, dancing phenomenon who was thought by some to be “the second coming” of the King of Pop himself, Michael Jackson. His first album featured the traditional heartbreak and high school love affairs that we all loved, but there was something more. He was a pretty boy; girls LOVED him, old and young. We wanted to know where he’d come from with such fluid moves and a voice that could make us melt. He was a hybrid star; the LeBron of the music world. He managed to dance his way to two double platinum albums, countless sold-out concerts and even made a few movies.

So when we figured out that RiRi and Chris were together, we were nothing but excited. Sure they weren’t some hip-hop billionaires like Beyonce and Jay-Z, but they were young and cute and you just wanted to see them succeed.

And then everything changed. One night we were watching the Grammy’s and the next thing we knew Rihanna’s face was plastered all over TMZ with captions like “Chris beats RIhanna to a pulp,” and “Couple believed to be Rihanna and Chris Brown have domestic dispute gone bad.”

I’m not here to go into details of the fight. I don’t care what sort of extreme nagging Rihanna did, whether Chris was texting another girl, or if Rihanna gave Chris an STD (as this was all speculated at some point). I don’t even care if Rihanna hit him first. Chris Brown, a 250lb, 6’3”, 5^th degree belt had no right to strike Rihanna.

But this isn’t about him hitting her. He said he was sorry. He said it on TV, he said it online, he said it on the radio with songs like Crawl and Changed Man. He apologized to his fans, to his family and, most of all, to Rihanna. He let Larry King rake him over the coals. Both were seen together at Diddy’s house just days after the incident, yet, even after all of this, the media continued to berate only Brown. Both artists had scheduled tour dates thy had to rearrange, both had new albums they’d been working on, both had fans that suffered.

So why does it seem like our culture can’t see through the publicity stunt that Rihanna used to sell her albums?  She told Diane Swayer, “If I didn’t have little girls looking up to me, I’d have stayed with him.” Uh, really? She can say that, but we can’t let Chris Brown perform on GMA?

Lest we forget that a few weeks ago, when asked what she wanted for Thanksgiving, Rihanna said “Food and Sex.” Her new album seems to be following along the lines of Disturbia, with songs like Russian Roulette that have dark lyrics about death, love and sex. In another interview she said that her next boyfriend “better be well endowed, because size matters.”

Am I the only one who heard that? Are we missing something here?

Lately, it seems like we’re punishing the wrong person. Chris went to court, admitted to his wrong-doings, was fined, charged, and shunned. He wasn’t even allowed to go to Michael Jackson’s Memorial to pay tribute to the man who singlehandedly influenced his entire career. Don’t get me wrong – he should’ve been punished, but when will it be over?

All I’m suggesting is that when Whoopi Goldberg said the media – specifically GMA – was being unfair to Chris Brown when choosing not to give him a concert during their holiday concert series, I agreed. He did his time, he made his amends. Let’s move on.

And while we’re at it, why not let Adam Lambert swing by? Crotch snorkeling can’t be worse than anything else we’ve seen on TV. Especially at the American Music Awards.

DROOL.

Is LiLo getting a reality show?!

WTF is Rihanna wearing?

Good Morning America gives Adam Lambert the boot.

Well, this is one effed up family.

Paula Deen gets up close and personal with a pig.

So, Michael Jackson still hasn’t been buried. Ew?

Scrub that body!

I’ve never been more grateful to be a woman in America.

Why is Lily Allen crying?

Get the most out of those workouts.

Props to B. Palin for that brilliant realization (and for basically admitting being a mom sucks), but since, as she said herself just weeks ago, “abstinence is unrealistic,” why don’t we figure out a more-um-successful way to stay child-free, while still satisfying our libidos.

Enter: Birth Control!!

Crazy, right? This stuff comes in all sorts of forms: patches, IUDs, condoms, looking at teen mothers trying to care for their kids and realizing how much less fun life would be with a child… Oh, and the pill, which, when taken correctly (not a difficult feat to accomplish if you can swallow a pill), is 99.9% effective. Certainly more effective than preaching abstinence…and then having unprotected sex with your hockey playing boyfriend in the middle of the Alaskan wilderness. And most of the pills now come in pretty packaging! (Yaz has a tidy blue suede case with fun stickers that help you stay on track and turn birth control into a fun craft project).

Of course, we all (should) know that hormonal contraception doesn’t prevent against narsty STDs, so, unless you and your sex-bud have been tested and are exclusively hookin’ up, please use condoms too! I can tell you from looking at some pretty graphic books that Syphilis ain’t pretty. Neither is abandoning your education to raise a child on welfare and food stamps. So instead of shooting moose, go get yourself some nooky. Because, like Ms. Bristol once said, not getting any is just “unrealistic.”

Just remember to pop that very important pill first.

So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortunate road rage incident, I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Let it all hang out. I feel you.]

Long Lost Friends: You know the best friend who truly defined the term BFF for you? Well you can scribble out that last F now that you two have drifted apart. You never thought you’d see the day when it had been 2 years since your last sleepover/margarita marathon/ trip to Forever 21 together, but that day has sadly arrived.

You catch yourself reminiscing over long forgotten Facebook albums; some of the pictures are even—gasp—detagged! You find yourself determined to reunite and catch up, what with you both returning home from different schools on Spring Break. What a coincidence, you’re not going to Mexico, and she won’t be joining the Senor Frog with all of her schoolmates. With nothing else to do in the boring suburbs, you assume that you two will def hang out (mostly because you texted her “we will def hang out”). But sure enough, you and homegirl don’t get together. You don’t even hang out. Not even a Starbucks run together…and the worst part is? She lives a block away from you.

Overdraft “Protection” Fees: A complete misnomer, if you ask me, because the overdraft fees I encounter almost every month on my bank statement in no way protecting me from the additional $35 tacked onto the overdraft charges. Is this my fault? Entirely. Should I re-evaluate my maturity level to decide if I’m responsible enough to operate a simple checking account? Most likely. But paying an extra $45 for a Redbull that should have cost me 4 bucks is beyond painful when I can barely afford to fill my tank (and Good Morning America has not found a way to solve this issue in any of their Recessionista segments as of yet). So yes, I reserve the right to get angry at someone else for my irresponsibility, and I most definitely reserve the right to blame the manager of Circle K who feels the need to process transactions two weeks after they take place…Those text message account balances can only get me so far.

Spring Break Homework: Let me just say that papers due the first class after Spring Break put the ass in assignment. I was fully looking forward to a week of doing absolutely nothing academic until the last class before Spring Break, when my T.A. thought a surprise 10 page paper was the perfect way to wish us Bon Voyage! So instead of vegging by my parents’ pool with nothing to worry about besides what Rooney song will play next on shuffle, the shadow of a term paper is blocking my tanning light. Thank you, T.A.-with-something-to-prove, for ensuring that I have to battle the glare of sunlight to read my computer screen. I blame you, and only you, for the fact that I have to pass on the maragaritas being passed around, because if there’s one thing that doesn’t mix well with tequila (besides vodka), it’s post 1800 American Literature.

Watchmen: I never read the graphic novel, so perhaps some of the epic effect of the movie was lost on me. Nonetheless, I was very excited to check out the latest superhero flick last weekend, mostly because I am a Sci-fi addict. All I can say is that I want my $12.50 back because the movie was pretty much a waste of 2 hours and 41 minutes of my life. The snippets of backstory confused the sh** out of me, I didn’t understand what that thing on Mars was (or when Dr. M had time to build it), and how that cool tiger/antelope creature came into play in Antarctica. The blood and guts were great, but still didn’t provide enough action that I expect from men in tights kicking the living crap out of each other. The Nixon role looked more like a caricature and Malin Akerman’s greatest contribution to the team was a rubber one-piece and smoky eyes. The silver lining? My Chemical Romance’s Desolation Row, but it was all pretty much downhill from there. Fanboys and Girls, your rebuttal?

Divorce rates aren’t as high as we all thought. Hooray!

I think this might be the hottest gift of the season.

Britney’s GMA performance was big.

Pop culture phenomena we hope don’t return in ’09.

8 tips for frugal fitness.

Lindsay Lohan loves blogging (and is more than welcome to joing the CollegeCandy team! Linds, call us!)

Someone’s stalking Kirsten Dunst.

Penn State students love two things: football and sex.

The best tips for acing finals.

Beautify yourself and support the AIDS cause at the same time.

This morning I tried to watch Good Morning America while I got ready for work, but no such luck whe it came to my diet restrictions. The first commercial break assaulted me with a Hershey’s Kiss commercial displaying a cute couple within the first millisecond and sent me sprinting for the TV to turn it off.

But on an exciting note, (and yes, I realize the following is really not that exciting to a normal person) I stumbled across a Miles Davis CD, and more lucky for me Miles is a man of few words — or rather no words, in his music anyway, so I have safely extend my musical selection to another six songs. Yes.

But here I am in day three of my love-free week, and I am wondering if upon my entrance back into that world with rom-coms, love songs (well, any songs with words really…) sitcoms and their amusing and enviable relationships, along with happily ever after endings will send me into a romantic overload? Here’s to hoping it won’t (obviously you can’t see my raised wine glass, but it’s there. Believe me).

I am starting to feel though, as I look at the flowers I picked for myself and listen to the news in the background (my perpetual background these last few days), that maybe life isn’t as hopeful without the perspective of that romance I have come to love with every TV episode, song, movie and story. Is there really something so wrong with hoping for passionate, unshakeable, indestructible romance?

While I’m starting to realize it’s not as prevalent as it may seem in entertainment, it’s a little disappointing to consider an existance where love is completely out of the question.

Maybe it is just about re-defining the idea of romance…

You know, I can understand being an angst ridden teenager. I can also understand being angry with someone who might have been provoking me on a social networking site-like Myspace. On top of that, I can understand being jealous of all of the totally rad videos on YouTube that get tons of plays and I can relate to the desire to create something that becomes incredibly popular.

BUT, beating the sh*t out of a cheerleader in your class who MIGHT have been (nothing has been proven) provoking you on Myspace is NOT COOL.

Eight teenage girls in Florida recently did something so disgusting that even angry outcasts would have cringe. They lured Victoria Lindsey, a pretty cheerleader, back to one of their homes. They had a video camera set up and then they proceeded to beat her for 35 minutes. They beat her so terribly that she was knocked unconscious and then dragged off into a car. Once in the car, she was driven to a second location and told that if she ran to the police… she would receive an even worse beating.

All eight teens have been arrested, and thank god that they have because this is some really gross horse sh*t.

I don’t care how angry you are at someone else. I don’t care how pissed you are that someone left a nasty comment about you on your Myspace page. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, excuses this kind of animal behavior.

I’ve been thoroughly sickened by this story ever since I heard about it a few days ago and the nausea is spreading like wildfire, but I don’t think it’s fair to blame Myspace or YouTube for this. These girls are just bratty kids who wanted to beat the hell out of someone and doing it for the world via video was the icing on the cake. Tons of people out there use Myspace for the right reasons. Tons of people out there who want popular videos on YouTube just videotape their kid…laughing…or something.

THIS video, however, is embarrassing and gross.

What do you think about how these girls behaved? How do you feel about the fact that they used YouTube to exploit this horrific act?