[He Said/She Said is a series designed to help all our wonderfully confused readers figure out what he’s really thinking. So every week we’ll be throwing out a topic for debate…and unlike our fave dude, these guys won’t be sugar coating anything for you. But before you jump into their heads (which seriously will make you feel like you need to shower), check out what we think!]

When I dream about my perfect relationship, it always looks the same. My boyfriend is a Jewish Bradley Cooper look-alike with that sexy shaggy hair and the perfect blend of intelligence and wit. He’s constantly surprising me with over-the-top romantic gestures, from randomly bringing me chocolate chip granola pancakes in bed (“just because I love you”), to showing up at my house in the middle of the day because he “just had to see me.”

He’s always there when I need someone to lean on, but never around when I need an “eat cereal out of the box and watch 4 hours of ‘Say Yes to the Dress’” alone-time kinda night. He uses just the right amount of tongue when we’re kissing and always makes sure I’m satisfied between the sheets before he spoons me as we drift off to sleep.

And when we wake up, my hair has perfect waves, my breath is minty fresh and my eye makeup hasn’t slid down my face in a way that makes me look like Adam Lambert doing the walk of shame.

Yeah, I said it was a dream.
A very good (and sometimes naughty) dream.

Read More »

[The following post was written by dating coach, Kira Sabin, a keg of dating and relationship wisdom. She's been helping people find love for years so we thought we'd tap this keg and see what sort of brilliant advice she has for the CollegeCandy readers. Drink up!]

His name was Tyler.  He was the roommate of one of my good college friends and from the moment I met him I was smitten.  The witty banter was perfect and it took about 10 hours (and a few drinks) before we were hooking up.  After that near perfect weekend we walked to my car, kissed like we invented it and he said he was crazy about me.    It was a definite moment in time.  He was everything I was looking for.  He was ridiculously smart, cute, had a smile that made my toes curl and did I mention completely emotionally unavailable?

For the next few months or so Tyler and I did this little dance where we would have incredible moments and then I wouldn’t hear from him.  I would get vague emails breaking our plans and even when I visited him four hours away sometimes he gushed and sometimes he was cold.  I thought, “How could this be happening? Did I do something wrong?   Connections this incredible rarely come along and have to mean something, right?”

Excuse me conductor… are there any seats left on the crazy train?  Ticket for one, please. Read More »

[The following post was written by dating coach, Kira Sabin, a keg of dating and relationship wisdom. She's been helping people find love for years so we thought we'd tap this keg and see what sort of brilliant advice she has for the CollegeCandy readers. Drink up, ladies.]

When I was in high school one of my friends was the most sought-after girl in school.  I had other friends that were prettier, smarter and nicer but boys were crazy for her.

It took me a little while, but I finally figured out why she was constantly asked out, in a relationship or every guy’s dream girl.  She was approachable.

She was pretty but not beautiful.  She was smart, but not a know it all.  She was always friendly, smiling and nice.  Her secret:  Every guy thought they had a shot at her.   They always felt comfortable talking to her and she always made them feel great about themselves.  She is now married to a wonderful guy who is also the whole package.

What is the point of this story?  To let you know that just because you are beautiful, smart, funny or successful doesn’t mean that finding the right people to date is going to be easy.  In fact it may even be harder.  Does that suck?  Maybe, but it is true.

Many times the douchey guys who are approaching you are in for a challenge and once they conquered that challenge they will find a new one.  The better bet for good relationships are the healthy, great guys who just need a little encouragement to know that if they come up to you, they are not going to be making a complete ass of themselves.

In case you haven’t noticed, men are fragile souls.  Many times more fragile than we are.  If they think for any reason they are going to be rejected, they are not climbing aboard that train.  It’s going to take a little work from you. Read More »

You know those couples that make you believe in love? Like grandparents well past their 50th anniversary and still making each other laugh, or like Brad and Jen (granted I was, like, a toddler when they dated, but I’m sure I still thought they were cute then…) Well, I had a golden couple in my own life. They are two years older than me, and they’ve been dating for something ridiculous like four years. The girl is one of my good friends, and when we were moving, her boyfriend was an angel to have around. He moved my desk and futon, and did all of the handy man stuff we didn’t know how to do. We always joked that they were my college parents because they took such good care of me.

Well they just broke up yesterday.

To say I was surprised and upset is a gross understatement. When she came up to me sobbing, I wanted to sob right there with her. Of course I feel beyond awful for her and it hurts me to watch her hurt so badly, but it’s more than just the two of them that’s got me so emotional. My faith in love is shaken. What could have possibly happened to such a perfect couple that after 4 years he just decides to call it quits? And if these two people with so much history, so many inside jokes, who have survived so much together, can’t make it, how the hell is anyone else supposed to?

Even more, all this break up sadness has me thinking back to my own break up. Exactly one year ago, I was  the girl crying after the boy I’d dated for more than three years broke my heart. I was part of the ex golden couple. I was the broken half of a once-perfect pairing. And being reminded of how vulnerable, how upset, how disoriented I was… It makes me not want to ever be back in that place ever again. Read More »

I have a best friend. You know the kind of friendship where you finish each other’s sentences, annoy people with your inside jokes, and get into way too much trouble together at parties? Yeah, we’re that kind of close. And I love her to death.

Right now this best friend is lucky enough to be at the start of what we can all tell is going to be a great relationship with one of the few guys who might be worthy of her. I am as excited about it as she is. After months of squealing with her and analyzing every text he sent, they are officially dating and it is so exciting!

As happy as I am for her – and I really, truly am beyond thrilled – watching her get dolled up for dates and hear her giggling through the wall when he spends the night makes me miss being in a relationship myself. I’ve really enjoyed the time I’ve spent single this year – let’s face it: the twin beds in college dorm rooms were not meant to fit two people – but seeing someone else enjoying the bliss that comes at the beginning of a relationship is making me a bit, well, jealous.

Now don’t get me wrong – my momentary pangs of jealousy are nothing compared to my overall glee for my dear friend, but the jealousy is definitely there. When he brings her candy at the library, when he sends her a goodnight text, when they cuddle on the futon to watch TV; it all makes me nostalgic for the good things about being in a relationship, which are suddenly the only things I can think about. Even with my old boyfriends that were, in general, all schmucks. Read More »

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"Here's the thing about us women..."

There are so many things I’ve wanted to say to guys over the years.

Things that would no doubt make my life (and the life of the girl who came along after me) so much easier…and pleasure-filled. Or things that I never got the chance to say because the boy decided to break up with me via email instead of growing some balls and saying it to my face and I didn’t want to look like the crazy bitch who can’t handle a break up and then sends back an angry email talking about how bad he was in bed and how he’s clearly over-compensating in his life for his lack of package.

Sorry. Little bit angry right now.

The point is, if I’ve learned anything from all my he said/she said-ing, it’s that communication is key when it comes to the relationship between men and women. They can’t read our minds and we can’t read theirs.  So I started thinking about all the things I’ve wanted to say to boys over the years – everything they need to know when it comes to us ladies – and I asked my guy to do the same.

Hopefully this will clear things up for all of us and we can all live happily ever after.
Now where’s my Nobel Prize? Read More »

“My Boyfriend” is a phrase many of us single ladies would like to add to our vocabulary.

Some of us are the Charlottes who are happy knowing at the end of the day there is a guy that will be thinking about us before we fall asleep. Some of us are the Samanthas who are happy knowing we have a guy we can shag before we fall asleep. Ahh, and then there are those in between-ers like myself. We want someone to love and shag us before we tuck in for the night.

Whichever category you fall into, it’s no wonder we’re all looking for that special person to “complete” us.

Having a boyfriend brings about a sense of pride and accomplishment. It gives us all feelings of worth, self esteem and validation. Oh, and a serious case of the butterflies.

As sad as that may be, it’s the truth. Sure, the powerful and independent woman can find all of that on her own, but the fact is we’ve been taught our whole lives to want a boyfriend. Case in point: romantic movies. Those friggin’ things don’t do jack sh!t for a single girl besides motivate those starry-eyed expectations of how the majority of real guys act. Homegirl, I’m not talkin’ only about movies along the lines of “The Notebook” either. Those Disney Princess movies of carpet rides and glass slippers laced our childhood hopes of boyfriends with metaphorical crack before we got our training wheels off.

So yes, I want a boyfriend! You want a boyfriend! Your dog wants a boyfriend! Read More »

This time of year is notoriously spent looking forward and making resolutions for the upcoming year. I have never really been a resolution kinda gal – I don’t wait until the New Year to make the important changes in my life – so I often spend the weeks leading up to New Year’s looking back.

Not so much on changes I’ve made or how far I’ve come; more at the ridiculous situations I have found myself in over the past 365 days.

My 2007 can probably be summed up as a year of dating. Not relationships. Dating. I made a lot of drastic changes this year – online dating, getting setup, handing out my phone number – and it definitely made for a lot of first dates, one quasi-good relationship, and some amazing stories.

Looking back on everything, there was one particularly amazing story that I think everyone can enjoy.

Right before moving home from New York last year, I met a boy online. He seemed really interesting and funny through IM’s so we started talking on the phone and eventually planned a date.

“I want to take you out for drinks and dinner,” he told me.

We decided to meet at a central location, grab a drink and then head downtown to a cute little hole in the wall Chinese restaurant he and his dad had been eating at for years. I am not usually a fan of multiple locations (or even dinner!) on the first date, but he seemed so excited that I really couldn’t resist. Read More »