When the God Rocker thing didn’t work out, Katy decided to go in a completely different direction.  Her pseudo-lesbian song, combined with lots of boob shots, has put Katy Perry on the cover of Blender magazine as well as on the pages of gossip blogs everywhere.

So what are we to learn from this transformation?  Boobs trump God?  Image is everything?  A catchy beat can make you a star?

One thing we do know is that no matter how much Perry wears them, high waisted booty shorts are never finding a place in our wardrobe.

Ew. January. So cold, so gray, so….ugh. You’ve been back in school for a few weeks now and there is no vacation in sight. Just days upon days of reading, writing and cramming. Not the most exciting outlook.You have probably already gotten to the point where you will do anything to avoid heading to the library: your room is spotless, you have emailed every member of your family to update them on your daily life and have changed your Facebook profile pic. Twice.

What else is there to do? How else can you put off studying now that lying out in the sun or taking a long walk are soooo out of the question?

And what about all those hours spent in lecture? How on earth can you pass the time until you’re back on your couch, cozily bundled and watching movies with the roomies?

Being a “real person” (meaning out of college and trying to survive the working world) I have learned a thing or two about passing time. I sit at a desk ten hours a day. Ten hours is a looong time to be looking at Excel spreadsheets and employee files, so I have had many a-opportunity to find some other things to pass the days.

So, being the generous person that I am, I will share with you some top-notch websites to pass time, avoid studying and just make your day.

Hotchickswithdouchebags.com: I just came across this site recently and it truly is one of the best things on the internet right now. The guy who runs the site finds pictures of, well, hot chicks with douchbags and posts them. New pics (and commentary) are being posted daily – along with a large archive – so this will keep you entertained forever.

Gofugyourself.com: Once you read this site you will want the Fug Girls to be your best friends. Instead of ripping apart celebs for speaking in British accents or heading to rehab, these ladies rip them apart for their fashion indiscretions. These girls are seriously funny. I have spent entire days flipping through their archives and it never gets old.

Thesuperficial.com: If you think Perez Hilton is funny it’s because you haven’t experienced true celeb-blogging hilarity. I am not sure who writes this site, but he is a genius. And he doesn’t ruin photos with white squiggly marks. Perez has nothing on this dude.

Addictinggames.com: Remember back in middle school when you had to memorize the U.S. map? Well, this game tests your knowledge. I know putting states on a map seems un-fun, but something about it is totally addicting. I can’t stop!

Craigslist.com: CL isn’t just for people looking for a couch. There are so many freaks on there looking for love, for wild sex and for that special someone that they didn’t have the courage to approach in person. They even have a “Best Of” section that is to die for. Best part: you have hundreds of cities to look through, so the fun never ends.

Got any other time wasters we should all know about?

But let’s get started, shall we?

Episode one is almost aptly named ‘Back on the Horse.’ Certain gossip blogs were kind of enough to post pictures of the contestants before the show’s premiere. Neigh. Is that the sound that horses make? It’s been a long time since pre-school.

I must admit that I was pulling for Brett in the first season. Despite the fact that Poison sucked and that he at times looks like a transvestite when he removes the bandana, I thought among the strippers in the house he’d find one with a heart of gold. Well, he did, but I digress…

In the beginning of the episode, Brett pulls up to the mansion and his hair looks like it was made in the Mattel factory. The girls don’t notice how unnaturally long or synthetic it is and cheer upon his arrival.

First girl I notice: Daisy. Her face reminds me of a blow up doll with those crazy injected ‘O’ lips. Brett gets down to business and singles out four of the twenty girls; the remaining 16 enter the house and immediately start drinking. You know it’s not even 11 a.m. up in that biznatch.

The four girls who were selected were seemingly up for dismissal, but it is a new season, my friends, and it turns out that they are VIP girls, with their own special VIP room and VIP gifts and VIP time later on with Brett on a make-out couch. Don’t even ask me about the other three VIP chicks because Daisy’s busted face is the ultimate diversion. The only thing that pulls my attention away from that mess of face is her announcement that she and the other three are ‘very important p****.’ If that’s not class personified…

Brett photographs the girls a la season one. It’s pretty standard until the French Angelique is up. Trantastique!, I say. Upon seeing the pool Angelique states, “I am going to have sex wis Brett in zis pool.”

My favorite girl is Kristy Joe because she has a “germ issue” and wiped Brett’s mouth before giving him a small kiss and I high five her in my head. She’s beautiful, so Brett overlooks her very rational fear. But really, KJ, WTF are you doing on Rock of Love if you’re germ phobic? Didn’t you watch the first season? Or see Brett’s Pam Anderson sex tape?

(I wish that Nick Lachey had done one of these shows after he and Jessica split up. It could have been called “98 Degrees of My Heart” or something like that and I so would have tried to be on that because he’s hot and I bet you $5 that you don’t need to bathe him in Clorox before you kiss him.)

VIP time and Megan is first. She’s a model. I’ll be sure to look for her on 3wisheslingerie.com after this. Destiney made a random bandana for Brett, which I’m sure he’ll never wear. You know that he couldn’t put it on in front of her because that would be exposing weave tracks.

Erin, my favorite VIP girl, is the last one to get her time. Erin is a super adorable rocker looking chick who could potentially be the Jes of this season. And then she talks. I don’t understand how Brett could be so bored listening to someone wax philosophical about how myspace taught her about the world.

After VIP time, it’s a free for all. Girls are kissing Brett; I think that some are kissing each other and I want to hose them down with penicillin. Out of the skank pit emerges Catherine, a 45 year old mother of two, who is so sweet that the people at VH1 who edited this episode dropped in some nice guitar music in the background while she speaks.

Finally, elimination time arrives– five are going home. Brett comes out wearing a ton of bronzer and laments that eliminations are so hard and blah blah.

After choosing 14 girls, only one pass remains. It looks like it’s between Erin and Jackeye (hurry up, Brett, I’ve got a paper that I’m neglecting).

Unfortunately, Erin and rock star hair must leave. I’m sure she’lll find solace and even more education in myspace.

My super early prediction is that germphobe Kristy Joe and Daisy the Blowfish will be the final two. Until the next episode, when the girls are challenged to do a peep show and my eyes get gonorrhea.