There’s nothing like a good old-fashioned American holiday to make you realize how alone you are in this world. Everything’s been going pretty well (according to my new post-college standards of pretty well) and I thought that for the most part I was building up quite the little social network of friends who would make me not feel quite so isolated. We would Gchat at work, grab Pinkberry here and there, perhaps even attend the occasional happy hour.

But apparently that social network of friends was a pure figment of my imagination.

July 4th came out of nowhere and everyone (people I’ve never spoken to) kept asking me what I was planning on doing. On the outside I remained calm and collected and responded with dignity; I’ll figure it out. But on the inside I was panicking like it was Halloween eve and my only available costume was sexy bunny. I would casually bring it up to my “friends” and they all would respond with excitement about boat trips with friends, annual family BBQ’s, and lake houses in states I thought were made-up. Then they would ask me what I was doing and I would mumble something about fireworks and hot dogs and anti-terrorism laws.

I started to tell myself that it would be fun to spend the day alone. I don’t even own an American flag and hot dogs give me stomach problems. This holiday really isn’t for me, anyways. But then like an 11:59 new years eve kiss potential coming out of nowhere, a former camper called me and said she wanted to do something. Sure she’s 18 and sure I had to hand pick her up from the train because her mom said so, but now at least I could say I was doing something.

Unfortunately, once I made those plans no one even asked me my plans anymore. So I went to dinner with the former camper and we talked prom and summer and being so over high school friends (except I really am because hers still call her to do things). The whole night made me feel youthful again and wise with advice for her pre-college ears. And also hostile because tourists were heading for the fireworks 8 hours early and barreling their fold-up lawn chairs into everyone on the subway.

But I can’t complain, because at least I found someone who wanted to spend the holiday with me.

I guess I better start booking my Labor Day weekend ASAP. Step 1: make real friends in NYC.

Alright it’s just another internship. I’m not stressed. But I actually need this internship to lead to something. I must make a good impression. Now I’m stressed. Is that my subway line? Is it safe? Am I the only girl on here? Is this going to be the first scene in my lifetime movie of a internship gone horribly wrong?

Okay, okay the subway ride wasn’t so bad and I’m only an hour early. Too early. Could I look more overeager? I’ll go sit in the Dunkin Donut’s for awhile and get a coffee. Okay drinking that coffee took five minutes. No one is responding to my texts. Maybe I have no cell service in Brooklyn. Yeah that’s it. Alright 9:41, that’s a good time, I look professionally early. I hope my hair is still straight.

Yeah I’ll smile for my  ID badge but that camera seems to be at quite the awkward angle.  Oh my god this is my ID for the whole summer? I look horrible and my hair is curling. Hand flatten my hair, hand flatten, oh my god that’s my boss remove hand from hair casually.

Alright this is easy, I’m settling in. The computer’s nice, a little slow, a lot slow, why is it freezing on my screen full of gchats. Please don’t let anyone look over here. Should I be doing something, was there something they gave me to do that I forgot? They’re going to think I’m an idiot if I ask.

Oh it’s time for tour; that’s great I love tours. I want to be a professional tour guide. Did I say that out loud? I did. Great now they think I want to be a professional tour guide, I’m going to be showing people around all summer.  Is my dress riding up? It’s riding up high, pull it down and keep walking calmly.

Everyone’s so nice here. Oh is that chocolate? Thanks, I love chocolate. Regret that decision to eat that, I bet I have it on my teeth, I can feel it all over my teeth. Is there a mirror anywhere? No but that picture frame is shiny, can I see my teeth in it? Check. Continue talking calmly.

Oh it’s 5:00 already. That was easy today. No stress. But tomorrow I’ll have real work, I bet it’s hard. Is the subway safe at this time of night?

Finding your place in this next phase of your life isn’t always easy. In fact, as I’ve said before, it’s really freaking tiring.  But there are some tools out there to help you hold onto the familiar and survive the scary unknown. Here are your soon-to-be post grad BFFs:

1.   Skype: Oprah’s obsessed with it and for good reason. All you need is a computer (clearly, you’ve got one since you’re reading this), a webcam (there are cheap ones available on Amazon or at Wal-mart) and some internet (which you can jack from any of your new neighbors who aren’t smart enough to lock that sh*t down). You download the program for free and then talk to any of your friends in the world for free, face to face. So, if you’ve got one friend teaching English in Korea and one friend doin’ the political thang in DC and you’re sitting at your parents’ trying to find a job, you can still “get together” weekly for some old time recaps.

2.    Twitter: I’ll be honest; it’s incredibly difficult to keep in touch with people after college. Everyone is busy doin’ their own thang: making friends, impressing their new bosses, passing out at 7pm after happy hour… Even if you do get some time every other week to talk, phone calls or emails aren’t enough to stay totally connected. Enter Twitter. I know, I know – who the hell would ever want to know what you are doing all the time? Uh, how about your friends? They knew every detail of your life in college, so why wouldn’t they be interested now? Get over your resistance to Twitter addicts and hop on the bandwagon. Set up an account and have your friends do the same. You can all follow one another and really stay connected on the day to day happenings. That’s the stuff that really keeps people together, after all.

3.    GChat: Unless you work for an awesome company like this one, most offices block AIM at work. And let me tell you – when it’s your first year out of college and you are doing some really. boring. sh*t at work, IMing your friends is the only thing to get you by. Good thing most offices keep Gmail available. You can keep that open all day and use Gchat to IM your friends (and they even allow you to login to your AIM!). It’s genius, really. (And if your office does block Gchat – those bastards – try meebo.com, where you can login to AIM, MSN messenger, Gchat, etc.)

4.   2 Buck Chuck: Adjusting to the whole 9-5 lifestyle is stressful. When was the last time you were in the same place for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week? More likely, your classes were scattered, your start times varied, and you could always skip lecture in favor of a hangover. Best way to ease the stress? A drink. Especially a cheap one. Don’t waste your money on $6 beers at the bar – you should be saving that stuff! Instead, load up on Charles Shaw wine (available at Trader Joe’s). It’s cheap ($2-3), tasty, and the perfect way to relax on your couch after a really long day at a computer. And, yes, it’s perfectly acceptable to have a glass of wine alone. (Right?)

5.    DVR: Life after college doesn’t look like SATC or The Hills for most people. What it really looks like is this: wake up, go to work, come home from work, go to the gym, come home and eat a bowl of cereal on the couch in front of the TV. Go to sleep. Do it again. Being that most of your out-of-office time will be spent in front of the TV, the DVR will be your best friend. You can catch all that “quality” programming that plays while you’re at the office (after all, you haven’t missed an ep of the Price is Right in 4 years!), and then have plenty to watch when you get home and your brain hurts too much to do anything else.

It’s the merry month of May and that means the school year is coming to a close and many a student will be happily accepting their diplomas.  Ok, maybe not-so happily.

While you are probably busy drinking your face off and burning your books with your friends, there is a larger task that needs to be finished (and you are going to want to do this sober): figuring out what to wear to graduation!

You may be from the “I’m wearing a gown so who cares what happens under it” school of thought, but, trust me, it matters. Photos from your graduation day will be a part of your life forever, so dressing up (not throwing up) should be on the top of your graduation morning agenda.

The proper attire for graduations/convocations is basically what you’d wear to church/temple on a holiday.  You want to look dressed up, but without toeing the line to slutsville. So, leave the sex kitten at home – no short skirts, no low-cut tops and, for the love of god, no going naked. Those gowns don’t have a lining in them, and who knows what could happen if the wind blows….

Here are some ideas for cute ensembles. Just click on the item to get some more info!

Black and white is super popular this spring, so a colorblocked or printed B&W dress is a great way to go. And when graduation is over, you can take off that robe and head right to that delicious celebration dinner in style.

You can’t go wrong with a cute pair of black peep toes (classic), but oftentimes ceremonies take place on grass, meaning you will be digging holes with every step. Best alternative: the wedge. It is very in right now and totally comfortable. It’s also a great excuse to milk the parents for one more shoe purchase before you’re on your own in the real world.

If black and white isn’t really your style, celebrate this occasion with some bright florals. The brights in the dresses below will give you a much needed pop of color to balance out that tired little face of yours from a long night of graduation parties (or a long morning of weeping with your friends over the end of the best time of your life).

Going with a neutral skirt or pair of slacks and a bright blouse is also a good way to incorporate this trend. Bonus: these pieces are all essentials for any office job you may get post graduation, so these looks can work double duty.

For those evening ceremonies don’t forget a cardigan or wrap in case it gets chilly. Oh, and be sure whatever you wear has lots of pocketspace for those tissues. A girl’s gotta be prepared.

Now get out there and make your mama proud!

Life after college…it can be hard to fathom actually getting to the diploma, no matter how many years you’ve been in school. But what happens after graduation? Most of your peers will be joining the work force, but a decent percentage will move on to even higher education and pursue master’s degrees, PhDs, or professional certifications. While the job application process is hard, getting into and completing a post-graduate degree is even harder. Having experienced the trials and tribulations firsthand, I’m here to share some tips so you can decide whether moving on to even MORE school is the right choice for you.

Towards the end of my junior year of undergrad, I realized that I had to start thinking of a post-college plan. I was finishing a Bachelor’s in English, had no clue what career path I wanted to pursue, and was having way too much fun on Thirsty Thursdays to want to give up my laid-back student lifestyle. So, I decided to elongate my college experience by going to grad school. Boy, did I get a rude awakening.

Once you’ve finished your Bachelor’s degree, choosing a path for the future should be taken very seriously. If you are considering moving on to graduate or doctorate work, don’t make the same mistakes I made.

The first thing you need before you begin applying to graduate schools is TIME. I decided to get a masters on a whim a few weeks into the fall semester of my senior year. I found myself trying to balance fifteen credit hours, two part-time jobs, and an active social life with preparing for the application process. I didn’t anticipate simply applying to schools to be so much work, so in my mind, I had plenty of time to apply to and choose a school, while fighting a major case of senioritis (in the form of an unyielding craving for margaritas).

Before you even decide to start looking at schools, you need to ask yourself: Am I willing to set aside the time?

Plan to spend a considerable amount of time on each of the following: letters of reference; searching for schools; choosing a program; taking the required tests and collecting writing samples or other materials; and making the final decision.

1. Letters of Reference

In high school, you work much more closely with teachers than you do with the majority of your college professors. You might have aced your psychology lecture freshman year, but chances are, a TA who has since moved on to publishing articles was the one grading your exams, and your professor has no clue who you are. Or perhaps you did do well in smaller sized classes, but it was a graduate student who taught the class. That being said, it took me a while just to weed out three solid references out of 60 or so credit hours.

Oh, and even after I chose my three references, I had one professor decline my request. FYI: If you can’t handle being rejected for a reference, grad school probably isn’t for you anyway. I totally understood the teacher’s reason; I asked her for a reference because she was the only professor I’d taken more than one class with, but I had gotten a B in one class and an A in the other. She felt that the “B” in the first class didn’t demonstrate graduate level scholarship. Looking back, I’m sure she was swamped with reference request from kids who had gotten flying A’s in every course she taught. But that still meant I had to find one more reference.

Once you’ve solidified your refs, they will probably want to meet with you to discuss your reasons for wanting to go to grad school, your ultimate career goals, and your basic interests outside of their class. Be prepared to answer these questions! It’s not a bad idea to make up a folder or packet for your references that includes a list of each of your prospective schools and application deadlines, a copy of your resume (so the professor can acknowledge your accomplishments both in and out of the classroom), and samples of the work you did for their class. Since I was an English major, I gave each of my references a copy of the best paper I wrote in each of their respective classes, because after reading hundreds of essays per semester, chances are, they’d forgotten the thesis statement of my final paper.

As you can see, simply getting people to refer you to a graduate program is a lot of work, and requires a variety of efforts: writing professional, polished emails to ask for a reference, organizing packets for each reference, and meeting one on one with your professors (which will be at THEIR leisure, of course, not when it’s most convenient for you). The good news is, if you can’t even get past this step, at least you haven’t wasted too much time in the first place. If you can muddle through the references-debacle, you’re one step closer to becoming a grad student…but there will be many more obstacles along the way.

Come back next Tuesday for more grad school tips.