Isn’t that a scary thing? The “Real World”. And no, I’m not talking about the television show, although they did hold a casting in Tuscaloosa that I almost went to. I, like many of you, graduated this past weekend. Some of you have another week or two left, some of you will graduate in August or December. I was fortunate enough to finish in four years (read: the parentals said you get four years) but I tell you, I wish it wasn’t over.

I’m truly excited to start the next chapter of my life, it’s just so strange that it happened so quickly. I remember being a tiny freshman at this huge university and not knowing what to do with myself. Let me tell you all a little bit about my experience at Alabama.

My heart wasn’t set on UA when I went there. It was the best school to pursue telecommunications and broadcast journalism out of the schools I applied to. I almost went to Clemson. I was almost a cheerleader at Presbyterian College. I got a scholarship to LSU. Vanderbilt didn’t want me, and I was crushed. But it was such a blessing. I settled on Alabama because it was close to home, and they had a great program. Within my first month of college I went through a horrible breakup, was dealing with a lot of anxiety, and was overwhelmed with the hugeness of Alabama as I graduated high school with a class of 102. I started applications to transfer my second semester. My parents told me I had to stick it out for a year. Well, I almost didn’t survive after my first semester after suffering a pulmonary embolism.

I had never wanted to be at Alabama more during that week I spent in the hospital. I missed my friends and my school. I had come to terms with being there, and I loved it. I technically wasn’t supposed to go back for the semester in my condition, but I wouldn’t take no for an answer. I had to be in Tuscaloosa because it was home.

I realized how much Tuscaloosa and the university meant to me then, but that feeling of belonging was amplified during the April 27, 2011 tornado. The end of my junior year was abrupt, but the sense of community was something incredible. Walking around with my fellow students, my Alabama family and crying for our home made it all the more difficult to leave. Returning for senior year was tough because Tuscaloosa wasn’t the same. It was still missing pieces, still hurting, but being there with our community felt right.

During the thirty or so seconds that I walked across the stage, received my “we owe you a diploma” case, and did a John Bender-esque Breakfast Club fist pump to my family, my whole college career flashed before my eyes. I was filled with excitement and pride, thrilled that I completed college in four years (as a double major, too!) and had an amazing time in the process. I felt accomplished and old, but most of all, I felt ready. The University of Alabama convinced me that I am prepared for anything.

I can fight my way through any crowd after going to four years of Alabama Crimson Tide football games. I can get from point A to point B in fifteen minutes after running across the Quad to get to class. I can live on less than five hours of sleep a night after staying up to study or going out on a Wednesday. I can be patient after having to wait on the train to get to campus. I can survive physical and natural disasters after nearly dying twice. I can complete any kind of assignment after passing Media Law. I can lift a decent amount of weight after moving four times. I’m pretty sure I can do anything now.

So today when I drove home with Bryant-Denny Stadium and my sorority house in my rearview mirror, I felt good. I mean, I was sobbing and looked like a complete mess, but I felt good about my time spent there. Leaving college is sad because we’re leaving behind our best friends and our memories, but it’s a happy time too. We’re on our way to being real people in society. We’ve joined the club of esteemed college graduates which can be scary, but we’re prepared. We’re going to have jobs, be productive, and do something great with our lives. The “Real World” is about to get quite the treat.

Did you graduate this weekend? How do you feel? Are you ready for the “Real World”?

Caitlin is a graduate of the University of Alabama who has an obsession with cupcakes, coffee, and Harry Potter. She always has random fun facts on reserve and aspires to be a professional blogger, social media bug, and/or James Franco’s assistant. Follow her fabulous life @caitlincorsetti. You’re welcome!

If you want to go to graduate school

Great. Now let’s say you do need to take it. Unlike the ACT/SAT, which a lot of people didn’t bother studying for back in the day, the GRE tests you on what Educational Testing Services think graduate students should know before grad school. This means you will actually have to study. Remember probability, slope-intercept form, and all those equations from math you thought you were done with years ago? Remember analogies and memorizing flash cards and five paragraph essays? You better hope so, because the GRE brings it all back with a vengeance.

There’s four sections on this bad boy:

1. Verbal – Vocab. Lots and lots of vocab. Go buy some flash cards right now – they will be your best friends soon.
2. Quantitative – Not calculus, thank gosh. But they’re talking all the way back to math you learned in middle school. This includes arithmetic, algebra, geometry, and quantitative comparison.
3. Analytical Writing – Haven’t taken a writing class since freshman year? You may want to refresh your writing skills because you’ll have to write two essays in one sitting: one argumentative and one issue.
4. Experimental (maybe) – This experimental section might show up on your GRE exam, but it won’t count toward your score. ETS wants to do research on future questions on you, and they unfortunately do not let you know. So basically, you might end up taking two Verbal sections and not knowing which was the random experimental part that didn’t count. I was devastated to hear that I would be wasting my time in this manner, but there’s really nothing we can do about it.

Deciding which study materials to use is entirely up to personal preference. I bought three books to study with because I hate math, I need a great score on verbal, and I didn’t want to shell out the extra cash for a Princeton Review or Kaplan prep course. The reviews on Amazon really helped me understand how effective a book would be or how boring it might be before buying it – some are definitely easier to read than others. If it’s not your learning style, you obviously won’t learn as much. Oh, and make sure you’re buying a NEW book if they promise access to free online practice tests, or else the codes might not work!

In terms of freebies, all Windows users out there can also take advantage of free PowerPrep software from ETS. You should start reading the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, or sign up for Merriam-Webster’s Word of the Day emails to help expand your vocabulary. You can always do prep classes if you want to spend more money and if you need a more structured study schedule, but with a calendar and some willpower you should be fine!

One of the most important things you should do is familiarize yourself with how the GRE works. It’s a Computer Adaptive Test, which means that the difficulty of the questions change as you answer questions correctly or incorrectly. To get a feel for the test, you should do as many electronic practice tests as you can! For example, you need to be more cautious at the beginning of the test because those early questions have greater weight in terms of your score.

In terms of scheduling, you should know a few important facts:

• Most test prep materials recommend 1-2 months to study a few hours everyday
• Remember that you can’t take the GRE more than once a month
• On average, it takes about 4-6 weeks for scores to get to the grad school of your choice
• Your GRE scores are valid for five years after taking the test

Once you’ve got the test scheduled and you’re prepared, here are some tips for actually taking the GRE:

• Arrive to the testing site early and bring a legit photo ID
• Know which schools you want to send your scores to (the first four schools are free!)
• Bring a snack – four hours is a long time to go without food when your brain is working that hard
• Be careful on the early questions!
• Pay attention to time
• Answer EVERY question – on the GRE, guessing is always better than nothing
• Use your scratch paper wisely

Most importantly, don’t stress – they’re testing how well you can take a GRE, not how smart you are or how successful you will be in a master’s program. Grad schools realize this, and typically take your GRE score into account along with your GPA, resume experience, and personal statement.

Hope this helps you get ready for the GRE! What’s helping you study?

I have three finals, two papers, and one draft of my senior thesis keeping me from my winter break. Not a walk in the park, but also not an all time high as far finals week frenzies go.  But yet, here I sit, far too enamored in this week’s episode of What Not to Wear to even think about getting any of this work done.

This is not stuff worth procrastinating. It requires no freak outs, no massive amounts of brain power. These papers are not worth the all-nighters they will result in if I leave the researching and the writing until the last minute. They are not worth the caffeine induced frenzy I will face the morning after just to get through classes. I should focus, and buckle down, and power through so that I can be done with it. But yet, here I sit, watching Stacy London argue for wedges over flip flops.

It’s time to face the facts: I have senioritis.

I remember the symptoms from the last trimester of senior year in high school. Lack of motivation. An unwillingness to go to class. The desire to sleep through every single one of my professor’s well intentioned lectures. Reading for classes is a nuisance. Getting up in time for class is a struggle. I have no desire to accomplish anything ever…

Okay, so maybe most of those symptoms aren’t exactly restricted to senioritis.  But right now, they’re amplified. Procrastination is a part of every student’s life, but lately I’ve made it into an art form. I know that I should do these papers, go to class, finish out the semester, graduate, but right now I’m just having trouble seeing the point of it all.  Because frankly, I really, really don’t want to. With graduation comes responsibility, real life, a weekend that doesn’t include Friday’s off, and days that don’t include time slots for naps and Facebook stalking. So I should embrace the chance to be irresponsible while I can, right?

Right.

I mean, I am a senior. Shouldn’t I be exempt from all of this? Shouldn’t I be guaranteed good grades and allowed to sleep in because I won’t be able to for much longer? Shouldn’t I be rewarded for making it through the past three years alive?

I wish.

But no. As nice as that would be (a girl can dream, can’t she?) that’s not exactly how it works. I still need to finish out the semester.  And even then I’m not exactly done. I still have to go back in January and take classes. Again. I still need to finish my thesis. And my major. And that means one more semester of papers and professors and procrastination.

So I need to figure out a way to focus. I need to not end up cleaning my keyboard or Windexing my computer screen every time I start to type. I need to figure out how I end up reading celebrity gossip every time I turn on my laptop. Yesterday, I sat down to type out an outline for my senior thesis and ended up on zappos.com looking at shoes I cannot afford. And that was after I spent an hour sifting through Facebook photos from years past. But not before complaining via text about the fact that I even had to write the paper at all.

I just need to focus. Sign out of Facebook. Shut the television. Put my phone on silent.  Concentrate. I can do this. Because I need to. I need to kick this habit. And I need to kick it now.

In fact I think I’ll go start researching for that paper.

Oh wait…is that a Gossip Girl rerun?

But at least CollegeCandy has been here for me this week, keeping me entertained and informed during my study sessions bouts of procrastination in the library. It’s been a hectic week – settling into a new year for college, working out all things financial and somewhere in there managing to put together a futon (it doesn’t convert into a bed because we skipped a step somewhere, but oh well). But CC’s here to guide me along.

And here are a few things that got me through the week:

- When you graduate in the midst of this economic tornado (we’ve left Kansas, but haven’t touched down in Oz), things seem hopeless. Sometimes, though, you just have to learn to take a break and let it happen.

- Get some extra dough for important expenses (water guns, shot glasses, etc.) with the guide to on-campus jobs.

- New cup, new cup. Move down! Wrong tea party. Get cultured and learn some more about the Tea Party political movement. You could impress that cutie in the Young Democrats Club.

- New standards for sexy. A few extra pounds don’t make you fat, just look at Jessica Simpson still rockin’ her bod.

- Don’t be a fashion faux-pas this season. Get the quick facts on all of the trends that hit Fashion Week. Which ones will you dare to don?

- Favorite this for future use during finals. WakeUpDialer.com provides you with free wake up calls at your specified times. Wherever you are.

- Want to go to Indianapolis? You’re going to want to. Check out the most sexual cities in the country.

- When you think college student you think young, broke, and restless. But what you don’t consider is paying your way and making a life for yourself, without any outside help. Welcome to the real world, and congrats on making it.

- ABC doesn’t realize that you can’t recycle trash – in real life or on TV.

- And of course, don’t miss your chance to vote on the Welcome Week Photo Contest!

In elementary school, I made friends in the sandbox – sharing my buckets and shovels. In middle school, I made friends by being that new girl from California living in a small Georgia town. In high school, I made friends by joining the newspaper and writing about my misfortunes of high school dating in an all-too honest column. In college, I made friends and bonded with them over two hour road-trips, Britney Spears’ Greatest Hits, and gas station food. Looking back, the whole process of making friends has always seemed easy, but now what?

I’m out of college, on the opposite side of the country, living with my dad who thinks he is starring in his own comedy sitcom, and completely alone. Those closest to me are elsewhere. My boyfriend is on the opposite coast. My best friend is in the middle of Atlanta. My dearest, bestie ever is living in South Africa! My college friends are strewn across the USA. And here I am, writing about how to make friends at 22 years of age without an inkling of what to do.

In all honesty, I’m actually surprised with the sudden need to make friends. Going into my senior year of college, the girls I thought were my friends for life broke up with me. The friend break-up was a major wake-up call! Although it ended up being one of the best things that happened to me, and I was really lucky to get out of that situation, I will admit – it made me very cautious and guarded about people and their intentions. During senior year, the word “friendship” was completely out of my vocabulary.

But just like with any break-up, there comes a point when you feel ready to give it another go. I think I’m ready to find a friend or someone out here that I can hang out with, shop with, and do friend things with. Even though I’m incredibly busy, I can’t spend all of my time working, writing, studying for the LSAT, and never have social interaction. Oh, and as much as I love spending time with my dad, there is only so much time you can spend with a 50-year-old chain smoking business man that frequently quotes Judge Judy.

Although it hasn’t been quite a full month on this post-grad journey, I will admit that making friends has become a priority of something I want in my life. I’m in this new place so I think it’s only natural to want to spend time with other people and make new memories, especially now that I’m out of college and everything is so different than it was two months ago when I was still on campus.

But what am I supposed to do to meet people? Go to the bar? Although I love Snooki from The Jersey Shore, I have to admit – I’m not looking for a fist-pumping shore girl to hang out with. And the whole idea of a bar makes things seem kinda sleezy. I want to make friends, not be accosted by sketchy guys. Also, I rather have quality – not quantity – and I don’t know what kind of quality people I will be finding under flashing lights, techno beats, and the help of a few vodka collins’! Plus, how does one make friends at a bar? Do I need a pick-up line? Do I ask for her number?

This is making me contemplate putting up one of those personal ads on Craigslist – “In Search of a Friend.” How creepy, right? Maybe I could even add an application for people to fill out, if they want to be my friend and then I can rank the applicants based upon their responses to my friend application?

OK, obviously, Craigslist is not the answer!

Maybe, if I ever find a job, I will meet people my own age. But until then, it looks like my best friend will continue to be me. And my pops.

Really, what’s a post-college girl to do?

Everyone’s got a morning after story (though I’m sure the girl who watched people get it on at a table in front of her wishes she didn’t) and we wanna hear yours! Send it over to us and we’ll post it – anonymously, of course – right here!]

The summer after I graduated from high school I was excited to finally be free from compulsory family vacays to celebrate the 4^th of July. So to celebrate both America’s and my own newfound independence, I went big, I went all out – I went to a house party.

It was the kind of party I look back fondly on in remembrance of high school days. There was cheap vodka, a backup keg, and plenty of top shelf liquor plucked from the generous hostesses’ parents liquor cabinet. The night started out innocently enough, with keg stands, red and blue shots (white didn’t work out the way we’d planned), and plenty of high schoolers bragging about just how wasted they were.

As a mature, soon-to-be-freshman, I was so over the same un-graduated attendees that had been plaguing house parties for the last 4 years of my life. As I lamented the lack of “real men” with my equally sophisticated best friends, the college guys showed up.

There’s always a few; the ones who are so bored to death while visiting home that they will stoop to new lows and attend their buddy’s-little cousin’s-best friend’s party. Easily identifiable by their upscale party attire (not basketball shorts), college hats, and facial hair, heads literally swiveled when this otherwise unremarkable group of 4 guys walked through the door. Sensing the air of competition, the girls and I immediately discussed dibs before pulling down our Hollister tank tops and hiking up our Abercrombie shorts and plastering on our college-girl looks of indifference (an older, wiser friend had previously informed us that smiling makes you look younger).

All that scowling must have done the trick, because a few Keystones later, I was flirting charmingly drunkenly with my favorite undergrad. I could sense he was nervous, given the tendency of high school girls to lie about their age, so to put him at ease I showed him my license (really). Once he had properly satisfied himself that I was legally 18, the sparks flew. Pretty soon we were passionately sucking face on the couch while people took pictures of us, elbowing each other and shouting “FACEBOOK!”

As those with curfews slowly trickled out the door, others disappeared in pairs, and to impress my new friend with my maturity, I suggested we go somewhere a little more private. Unfortunately, a brief (and grope-filled) tour of the house proved every door locked and every bathroom –ahem—occupied. I suggested we take things outdoors for a little lovin’ au natural to find the Jacuzzi in use and the pool honestly too disgusting to swim in, let alone hook up in. And as we made our way deeper and deeper into the back yard, we saw it: a trampoline.

Needless to say, we “jumped” at the opportunity and “hopped” right on (OK I’ll stop now). The hookup got off to a rocky start (I had to feign preference for his school’s football rival to get him to go down on me), but finished with a bang—literally. Our hookup happened to coincide with the last of the night’s illegal fireworks displays, leading to my newfound appreciation for the missionary position (he missed the show, but judging by the look on his face, I don’t think he minded).

After bouncing our way off the trampoline and tiptoeing back through the house around passed out 16-year-olds, I walked him to the door and bade him a happy 5^th of July and goodbye for what I thought was forever. He ended up transferring schools and I still see him at the library; on those occasions I have to suppress the urge to salute him.

While every college girl shares many of the same college experiences (selling books, sexiled, one shot too many), she also carves her own path and has her own unique adventure. Have you ever wondered what it’s like for other girls? What it’s like to go to an all-girls school? To go to fashion school? To go to a community college? Well wonder no more. Our one-of-a-kind CollegeCandy writers are sharing their unique experiences and opening our eyes to different college worlds. Are you doing something spectacular/different/interesting that you want to share? Send your ideas over and perhaps you could be telling your story right here.

Most college students struggle to complete one degree in four years, often taking an extra football season to finish or going on the five-year plan. Well, imagine trying to get two degrees in four years. And being in a sorority. And working. And having a boyfriend. And trying to maintain social skills. And watching Glee every Tuesday. Seems crazy right? Welcome to my life.

My friends think I’m nuts. Not because of my double major status, but rather the majors I’ve decided to take on. My primary is Telecommunications and Film with a concentration in Broadcast News, and my secondary is English. While both are pretty harmless separately, together it’s a deadly combination. Telecommunications requires a lot of outside work, plus you pretty much have to work at the TV station to get anywhere, which I’ve yet to do. English requires tons of reading and papers, plus I have to take four semesters of the same foreign language. I find that very strange for an English major, but this has given me the opportunity to take up Italian.

Thankfully, I’ve finished my core classes so I don’t have to waste my time with math (I.hate.numbers.) and can focus on classes that I enjoy. That’s probably the best thing about my double majoring: I love my classes. I love British Literature and History of Mass Communications. I don’t have to worry about Philosophy 101 anymore (worst class everrr) or other electives. That’s right, because I’m pursuing two degrees I don’t have to take electives. No Social Dance or 1-credit Running classes for me!

Another major double-major perk? My teachers know who I am! Alabama is a very large school, so most students don’t get the opportunity to really get to know their teachers. But because I practically live in two buildings on campus, my teachers see me all. the. time. On days when I only have an hour between class, I’ll go hang out in the next building and look productive. This gives me a chance to talk to my profs before class, which is great because when my classes are over I’m booking it to the next. This also gives me the chance to butter them up for those inevitable weeks when there is just too much on my plate and I need a little help in the ways of an extension. No, it doesn’t work all the time, but my track record is definitely better than others I know.

But, of course, there are some downsides to this decision. (Honestly, having one major is stressful enough; having two is pure insanity.) The College of Communication & Information Sciences and the College of Arts & Sciences have classes available around the same times, meaning that I have to work on my schedule for days to figure out how to take the right amount in order to graduate. Intro to Broadcasting and Chaucer occur at same time in the fall, so I have to settle for Shakespeare way later in the day (and there’s nothing worse than a 5 hour break and then having to go back out to class….). If that’s not annoying enough, a lot of the classes overlap and it’s a serious pain in the butt. Last semester I took three English classes in one semester (oh the papers!). It was a terrible nightmare, but also necessary if I want to graduate on time.

And then there’s the stress. When you take three English classes and two TCF classes at the same time, chances are you’ll have two tests on the same day or four in the same week. And a paper due. I’ve come to depend on my personal coffee maker to get me through the days (and all-nighters), and I don’t go anywhere without lots of snacks just in case I’m stuck in the library for hours trying to get everything done.  The worst part of it all: none of my single-major friends get it. They don’t understand the double amount of work or stress, and they can’t empathize with my mild meltdowns and irrational mood swings come midterms. And don’t even get me started on the guilt trips when I miss yet another Thursday Happy Hour outing.

But this is the life I’ve chosen.

I’m the kind of person who likes to be busy, so double majoring is good for me. Sometimes I have to stay in on Thursday and Friday nights to study. Sometimes I drink four cups of coffee before going to class because I had two papers to write and fifty pages to read. For me, it’s worth the stress, and despite it all, I still have time for other things. I still go out, watch TV with my roomie, and veg at the sorority house.

I’m excited to get two diplomas when I graduate and look forward to the feeling of accomplishment (and the bragging rights) when I look back and see what I finished in just four years.

Let’s face it: we all make stupid decisions. Like choosing a fifth over a review session, or bringing that guy home…who stole our iPod in the morning. That’s part of college life… and a big part of what makes it so memorable. But there are some choices that have longer lasting repercussions; things we do now that will haunt us later.

So here are the 11 things from your 20’s you will most definitely regret when you’re 40.

11. Risque Internet Photos: What’s the point of having technology if you can’t use it to send a naughty pre-shower photo to your BF? Nothing will turn him on quite like a naked photo popping up in his inbox while he’s brushing up on his Stats knowledge. You trust him, so what’s the worst that could happen? How about a break up? Or the “forward” button? No matter what you think, those photos are going to come back and bite you in the (naked-with-a-spot-of-cellulite) ass. Just show him the real thing and let him turn to his imagination (or internet porn) for a mid-class pick me up.

10. Trendy Tats: You totally love butterflies/stars/unicorns now, but I can bet money that you won’t want them plastered on the top of your foot or your lower back forever. No one wants to see a mom with a rose tattoo on her left shoulder, so think before you ink.

9. Choosing guys over your girls: You get caught up in your relationship sometimes and blow off the girls. Fine, we get it. But when sometimes turns into “What the hell ever happened to Mary?” there is a problem. Especially when Mr. Douche Bag finally breaks up with you and you come crawling back to the girls with a tub of Edy’s and a box of tissues and they aren’t there to wipe the snot from your cheek. Do you really want to spend the rest of your days holed up in a dirty apartment watching your man play Rock Band and chug Natty Light? Learn the balance, honey.

8. Getting married too young: I’ve seen it too many times – people graduate, freak out and hold onto whatever they can of their youth. And they get married.  And become super lame married people. It may be pure bliss now (and lots and lots of kitchen-ware), but just think about all the awesome stuff you will miss by being tied down in your twenties, all that freedom: to travel when you want, to take a job wherever you want, to sleep with whomever you want, to party as late as you want, to discover yourself, to sleep with whomever you want…. Plus, do you really want pictures of your friends doing keg stands in your wedding album? I thought not.

7. Smoking: Mmmm tobacco. It feels so good when it hits (and consequently blackens) your lungs. Especially after you’ve had a few Rum and Diets. And you look so cool doing it. But you know what doesn’t feel good? Chemo. And you know what doesn’t look cool? Your wrinkley face or your kids stealing the pack from your tobacco stained purse and trying it for the first time. When they are 6. This sh*t will kill you, so stop it. Right now! Seriously, put down that Marlboro Light, sister.

6. Not traveling enough: Trust me on this one – you will never have the time, money or freedom to travel like you do now.  Pretty soon you’ll be working late nights and counting down the minutes until the that will be chock full of grocery runs and Bed, Bath and Beyond trips. Try finding time in that busy schedule to jet-set to Europe and “find yourself.” Pack your bags and see the world now, before you’re too old to experiment with drugs in Amsterdam and enjoy a ping pong show in Bangkok.  Pick up a travel book and start planning!

5. Bad Credit: You can’t live without that Coach bag right now. You just have to have that DVF dress for the date party. Everyone else has an iPhone and you want one too. You’ll just charge it and worry about it later, right? Wrong, bitches. Ruining your credit now on stupid stuff (yes, I am telling you that bag is a stupid investment) will totally eff things up for you in the future. Things like getting a house, a car, a boyfriend (bad credit is a total turn-off) and sometimes even a job. Spend wisely, ladies. That bag is going to be out of style in .25 seconds anyway.

4. Not finishing school: Do we really even need to mention this one? Could you think of anything you’d regret more when you are 40 and working the checkout lane at your neighborhood Wal-mart? That is, assuming, you can even get that job in this economy.

3. Pre-vacation tanning: You tell yourself that you just want to get a base tan before Spring Break in Cabo. Sure, you will look fiiiine in that white shift dress for the 6 days after you return, but that wrinkley, skin cancer-ed mess is not going to look so hot when you’re 40 and you look like a Sharpei.

2. Stilettos: Part of becoming a woman is rockin’ the hottest pair of the highest heels. They make your legs look sick (that’s a good thing), make the men beg, and your jeans are too long to wear with anything lower. Why wouldn’t you wear them? I’ve got one hyphenated word for you: hammer-toes. You want to spend the later part of your life looking at that in a sandal?  Make your Feet Happy with these ultra comfy and cute socks..

(Editor’s note: I was going to put a picture of a gross foot here, but you Google “gross feet in sandals” and tell me how it makes you feel.)

1. “It feels better without condoms” sex: You’ll probably regret this one right off the bat as you spend your senior year chasing a kid around the dorms, but you’ll seriously regret it later when you look back at your life and realize how much you missed out on because you were busy changing diapers and bouncing a kid on your knee. Oh, and no one likes a woman with a bumpy vagina. I’m just sayin’; those genital warts will never go away.

Time flies when you're eating ramen and working 9-6.

A year ago I was packing up my college apartment, saving my most memorable theme party costumes (sexy dining hall worker didn’t go over as well as I thought it would), and crying in the most unattractive wipe-your-snot-on-your-sleeve fashion. As far as I knew it my life was completely over. I was jobless, destitute, and way too close to sober.

The only thing I had to look forward to was forcing my family to sit through Powerpoint presentations I made titled, “The top ten nights I should have died from alcohol poisoning,” “Nine reasons showing up to class drunk is only fun in the movies,” and “Any sibling that doesn’t get me a graduation gift shouldn’t act surprised when I ruin their wedding 10 years down the road.” I truly believed there was no reason to keep on living. And that was only reinforced when I was forced to sit next to a morbidly obese woman who took up half my seat on the plane ride home from Syracuse.

But yet I’m still here and alive an entire year later. And turns out, despite my best efforts to get a homeless man to push me in front of a bus last summer, life does go on after you graduate.

Somehow, during this crazy year that I partially blacked-out due to depression, I survived living with my grandparents for five months. I survived 8+ Craigslists-interviews-turned-murder-mysteries. And I survived having to tell people that I was interning after graduation. Sure there were tears and overly nostalgic Facebook wall posts and bitter feelings when your friends got hired before you did — but at the end of the worst year of my life, I’m proud to say I have an apartment, a job, and a 100% money back guarantee if E-Harmony can’t find me a husband before Memorial day.

Life after college is not what I expected it would be. I didn’t buy my work wardrobe exclusively from J.Crew and potential employers didn’t flood my inbox just because I had a bachelor’s degree. I didn’t go into my major after spending four years and three internships throwing myself into it. And I most certainly did not get a stable job with any sort of benefits (medical or sexual).

Here’s the thing that I wish people had told me when I graduated: have lower than no expectations, prepare for misery, depression, and a sudden obsession with the most emo Dashboard Confessional songs. Your frown will most certainly not be turning upside down. And then when you least expect it, you’ll be on your way to work one day or you’ll be reading Facebook statues about how much exams suck or you’ll be looking at pictures of your little sister dressed for a god-knows-what theme party and think to yourself, “wow I’m kinda of a grown-up and I kinda like it.”

Life after college is full of surprises. It’s about realizing that you don’t need to go out 8 nights a week and that you actually can survive on store-brand items.  It’s about having a desire to iron your clothes before you go out in public and it’s about narrating your blogs aloud as you write them in an English accent. It’s about coming to hate Sex and the City for making up a fantasy world that doesn’t exist and it’s about finding yourself attracted to the beggar outside your building that always calls you pretty girl.

I set out to fill this final blog with life lessons, inspirational quotes, and memorable catchphrases. But then I remembered that I’m just ending a blog series and not writing the Cosby Show series finale. I can barely get through a workday without taking 9 Facebook breaks, let alone leave my 6 loyal readers with any kind of worthwhile advice.

The best I can offer you is to always remember that a stitch in time, saves nine. But unless you’re a 19th century seamstress, I doubt that offers you anything. It’s time for me to let another clinically depressed post-grad take over my series. I’ve already moved on to better things…like sending in daily applications to be the next Activia spokesperson.

But if you’re determined to keep up with my life (or if you’re my mom who begged me not to use my full name online like I’m a 13-year-old girl posting bikini pics on Myspace), check out my brand new personal blog. It’s a sight for sore eyes — or so I say to myself whenever I look in the mirror after a good Saturday night.

Today is May 5th. Many of you are wearing sombreros and chugging tequila graduate in a few weeks, or even days. (Did I just freak you out!?) Thankfully I’m on a college quarter system, so I have one more month of bliss before entering the real world. But still, there never seems to be enough time these days for everything I want to do.

I want to tie up lose ends, check off more things on my bucket list, hang with my friends, take those last few exams, and maybe even make out with that hot guy in my Comm class. But despite all the things I’ve yet to do, I still know graduation is approaching. And like paying taxes or eventual old lady boob saggage, there is nothing I can do to stop it.

Soon all of us will be packing up, moving out, and moving on. We will pack up our extra long twin bed sheets, our dorm room essentials, and say goodbye to our roommates. And for the first time ever, many of us will be living on our own for the first time ever. Think about it: we’ve lived with family until college where we had the luxury of dorm life or a whole slew of roommates to share our space wtih. But now we’re on our own. Many of you may cheer and jump at this notion. Others may weep.

I’m somewhere in between. I mean, I hated wearing shower shoes all the time, but I didn’t mind the coed bathroom (I see you, unnamed hottie sophomore year that “accidentally” let his towel drop a few times). I’m excited about leaving my 10X12 jail cell behind, but I’m apprehensive about going it alone in the real world. There are just pros and cons to both, and I can’t decide which I prefer.

Bathroom Situation
Dorm Life: Shower shoes. Ew. Girls who shed lots of hair in the shower. Ew. People stealing your body wash. Ew. But you don’t have to clean. Nice.
Real Life: PRIVACY. You can take as long as you want, do whatever you want, and not have to worry about anyone stealing that extra expensive shampoo you buy. But you do have to clean. Ew.

Men
Dorm Life: Rules and regulations about visiting hours, signing in guests, no alcohol policies at certain strict schools. It’s basically one big cock block.
Real Life: They can come over whenever you want. Yummy. They can also never leave and you could end up with a stage five clinger that eats all your food. That you paid for.

Walks of shame
Dorm Life: If you shack up with some guy in a different dorm, he is just a short walk from your dorm. But you are more likely to see everybody you know as you briskly walk/run home heels in hand in his baggy tee and oversized sweats.
Real Life: That walk of shame is now a cab of shame, which can just get expensive. If you live on the East side, and he lives on the West side, how much will that cost? And what will the cabbie think?

Cooking
Dorm Life: Don’t underestimate the awesomeness that is the dining hall. There’s a wide variety of options and choices, and buffet style means you can eat as much as you want (!!). There is also the potential of meeting some good looking dude munching down on some nachos. Who doesn’t love nachos?
Real Life: You have to cook. You have to buy lots of food, which will take up all that space usually reserved for Natty Light. But you also get to cook what you want (no more mystery meat here!) and will have the chance to cook healthier for yourself.

Drinking
Dorm Life: Let’s be honest, ladies; thanks to our gender (and our boobs) we don’t really spend much on booze. Parties overflow with beer, kegs, and shots, and they are freeeee. Sure, we have to sneak it into our dorm rooms in backpacks out of fear of getting in trouble, but whatever. It’s free.
Real Life: No rules! We’re 21 now, so we’re legit with the law. We can even have a cocktail with breakfast if we so please. Unfortch, that early morning mimosa is coming out of our pockets and the drink deals aren’t as good in the real world.

People
Dorm Life: They’re everywhere. They’re in the halls, in the bathroom, in the dining hall, in your way. Sometimes, you may crave some peace and quiet instead of that horrible girl singing in the shower on the third floor. But also, there’s always someone around to hang out with or chat with or swap clothes with.
Real Life: Your neighbors may talk to you… if you live in a friendly building. Or maybe they won’t. You can play your music loud… until the person below you calls the landlord. But you don’t have to deal with people all up in your personal space and can have a nice, quiet home to yourself.

Roommates
Dorm Life: They go to your college, so hopefully you know them at least a little bit. If they do go crazy on you, you can talk to the RA and maybe get a new roommate. But if you share a room, they are the ones that walk in when you clearly put the sock on the door and are hooking up with What’s His Face from that bar.
Real Life: Craigslist. It scares me. I don’t want to be the next news story because I found some psycho roommate online. You have to split rent, costs, and maintenance of your apartment or home. They have to wash the dishes, you have to take out the trash – things can get complicated.

Sigh. So much to think about! I can’t decide if I’m ready to leave the dorm life behind, can you? I’m definitely sick of sharing a bathroom, but is that really worse than getting killed in the night by your shady Craigslist roommate?!