I'm gonna be bald by the time I graduate.

Ok, I know it’s only the middle of the semester – the hump of the term – but I can’t lie … senior year is brutally kicking my ass. As I keep referring to my day-minder to see what is due next or what I need to worry about in the near future (For example, the GRE), I can’t help but think back to sweeter, less busier times such as my first year in college – which I swear feels like it just happened yesterday.

Seniors, doesn’t it feel like just last week were filling out college applications, picking where we would attend, and nervously packing up our rooms and moving into our dorm room for the first time? The last three years have flown by, and this year is no different, except instead of saying to yourself “I have ___ many years left” you hear the fast-paced ticking of the clock letting you know your time is dwindling.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Well, if you’re like me, you are hearing more than the ticking of the graduation clock. Read More »

I came into college with a well thought-out plan of what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to go to film school, live in Los Angeles, be a writer for television and maybe one day direct movies.

I never figured a boyfriend into my whole equation.

So now that I have one it feels like I have to somehow stick to my plan and ambitions while figuring in someone else’s. It’s MUCH harder than it sounds.

I’m from a medium sized city that was boring as hell growing up. I couldn’t wait to go to a big college in a big city to get away. I like being busy, I like having a lot of people to befriend, and I love being so close to Austin’s famous sixth street and live bands. I’ve always been a city girl and I want to stay a city girl. Matt, on the other hand, is a homebody. He’s from a small city and would much rather go back to live there (or somewhere like it) after college. He hates big cities because the driving is too dangerous, crime is high, and he is very content staying at home every night. Even though we’re in the same major, he wants to work at small town TV stations while I want to work in Hollywood.

Big difference in opinions…so what do we do about it? Read More »

Where's the keg? Where's the dancing? Where are the drunk people making out?!

There’s nothing like an exclusive party in Manhattan to make you feel cool. Likewise there’s nothing like a six story walk up to make you feel out-of-breath as well as out-of-shape.

This past weekend I was invited to a friend’s brother’s uncle’s neighbor’s housewarming party at a West Village penthouse. I went not only because I liked casually slipping it into conversation that I was going to a roof party, but also because I’m constantly trying to figure out the secret to going from a post-grad intern to a real employee who can afford to pay rent on an apartment. It’s a mind boggling mystery to me but I’m determined to solve it.

However, mingling with all these employed-and-insured people made me realize that I shouldn’t be so worried about finding a job. These people were only twenty-five and yet they had more complaints than my grandparents after they forget to take their diuretics. They’re overtired, they’re overworked, and they’re over having fun. Read More »

Graduation is no longer just a corny Vitamin C song to me anymore. Next week is my own high school graduation, and now that the event is nearly here, it all feels so incredibly real: leaving home, heading to college, living mostly on my own without the guidance of my parents. I remember starting freshman year thinking that high school would be the longest four years of my life. In reality, the time flew by all too fast.

Looking back on my high school career, I was never that sentimental about moving from one grade to the next. I often counted down the last days of school on a huge calendar on my desk, just to make crossing off the final day that much sweeter.

But now, I find myself feeling rather schmaltzy about it all. On the last day of classes, I shambled after classmates and teachers to get signatures for my yearbook. I spent most of last week reminiscing with friends about the past few years the way my grandparents do about the “olden days.” I’m normally not one to wear my emotions on my sleeve, but something about this particular milestone in my life has been bringing these feelings the surface. The sadness about leaving friends and family, the uncontainable excitement of a new adventure – the mixture of the two is something I’ve never experienced before now. Read More »

While living with my grandparents has its perks (unlimited prune juice), it also has its downside (the only available beverage is prune juice). And even though I’m in the biggest city in the world, I’ve never felt more alone. There’s nothing more depressing than coming home from work and seeing people your age having crazy amounts of fun together, and knowing the only thing that awaits you is hearing the latest CNN updates from your grandfather.

So when my friend said she was having a graduation party in Boston, I jumped at the chance to go. Too bad I didn’t jump fast enough and all the tickets on the good bus were sold out. I wasn’t going to miss a weekend with my friends, though, so despite reading reviews of late, overbooked, and nonexistent buses, I booked a seat on the discount line. Not only did the bus show up on time but it was also double decker! Which was good, because the thought of arriving to Boston unemployed and in a single decker bus was just beyond embarrassing.

My friends picked me up at the bus and we went straight out to the bars. I don’t know how I went from being able to drink for ten hours straight just a month ago to not being able to stay awake past midnight now, but it wasn’t pretty. I feel like I’m aging in dog years; every month out of college is seven months of adulthood. By the end of the summer I won’t be able to go to happy hour without putting in my dentures first. Read More »

My past few weeks at home have been a whirlwind of doctor appointments. Since no one knows when I’ll have health insurance again, I’m cramming in all my possible doctors. It gets rough after awhile keeping track of all the different types of doctors and protocols. Before I knew it, I was sitting stark naked in the dentist chair one day and fully clothed with a paper gown on top of my outfit at the gynecologist the next day. It keeps my life exciting and, more importantly, it keeps my doctors on their toes.

However, home hasn’t been all mole checks and cholesterol tests. It’s also been a lot of cleaning. I’m moving to New York in less than a week and I’m slowly coming to the realization that I will never be home for college breaks ever again. After this it’s all long weekends and feel-sorry-for-myself unemployment weeks home. So I’m attempting to clean out my closet and keep only the things I actually want to bring with me. Read More »

After the novelty of college graduation (and all the great gifts that came with it) wore off, I spent a year crying myself to sleep. And I’m not exaggerating. While being done with school after 16 years was pretty liberating, not knowing what was coming next scared the sh*t out of me. And the fact that no one ever warned me how difficult being an adult would be made things a whole lot harder.

I went through a lot that first year – looking for a job, moving to a new city, ending a long relationship, and learning how to care for myself, to name a few – all by myself and now feel that I have the experience and knowledge to advise others on the transition. Because it’s a hard one and every college grad should know that they are not alone. Come back every week for another nugget of information to help you survive in the big, bad world.

My commencement speaker, like most commencement speakers, spent 25 minutes telling my graduating class about the endless possibilities in the real world. He spoke of our bright futures, giving back, and making the world a better place.  The speech was inspiring, but now that I’m on the other side of the cap and gown, I wish he had gone in another direction.

Perhaps he could have taken a more realistic approach and warned us of how hard that first year after college was going to be. And that it was OK to be really, really unhappy.

When you’re a college senior, life after college seems like a glamorous world filled with an awesome new job, an awesome new city, and a bright, successful future. You see all those people who graduated before you living it up and enjoying their new place in the real world.

The reality, though, isn’t quite so bright and cheery. The truth: that first year out of college isn’t always so easy. In fact, it’s pretty sh*tty. Read More »

I’ve grown up a lot in the past week. How could I not with all the positive encouragement from the commenters last week? I got up off the couch, got a pants suit, and got a job with benefits. Well I got off the couch… and that’s a start.

This past week I went to a BBQ at one of my few (I’m talking 1.5) remaining high school friend’s houses. I don’t know why the adults there think that the best side dish to ribs is asking me about my future. I had cole slaw hanging out of my mouth half the time as I explained that, yes, I was doing an internship; no, it was not paid in any amount that can support me; no, there are no health benefits; no, they are not hiring at the end of the summer; yes, that’s definitely potato salad hanging in my hair (the most asked question of the day).

I’m about ready to start making flashcards with my plans to hand out to people rather than spend four hours attempting to justify why I thought it was a good idea to get an internship instead of a job after graduation. Apparently some people don’t keep up with the news and are unaware that most of the class of ‘09 did not graduate with job offers.

I’m pretty sure I  sound angry. But I’m pretty sure that anger is one of the stages in the grieving process. Last week was denial and I think next week is hunger…but I’m no doctor, so I can’t verify that.

But I am starting to slowly move on. And, like I said before, I’m practically a functioning adult now. I’ve taken a liking to cottage cheese and I think that habit places me around 75 years old. I guess it’s one new grown-up habit a week from now on. Who knows what I’ll pick up this week. Maybe learning how to file taxes? Or perhaps how to shop at Chico’s?

It’s all up in the air for right now.

Last night I did something that every college senior dreads: I said goodbye to my first friend to graduate. Although I was never super close friends with her, we lived in the dorm together freshman and sophomore years and kept in touch ever since. I don’t know what it is, but there really is something about seeing someone every morning in the bathroom at 8 a.m. with severe bedhead that bonds you.

So while we all tried to make it through the night without going hysterical, I started to think about how absolutely crazy it is that in just a year, ALL my friends and I will be splitting up. Last night was just the first of many goodbyes…and that is terrifying.

But, then, the rational side of me kicked in and I remembered that I have a whole year left before I have to actually deal with that prospect, so I should actually relish in the fact that this time, I’m only saying goodbye for the summer. I will survive in my five bedroom house alone for four months. I think.

So I made a playlist that is perfect for listening to while you and your girls spend one last Saturday afternoon getting sh*tfaced before saying goodbye (and good riddance!) to the last school year (and hopefully not each other). Oh, and since this weekend is a holiday, I thought I’d be nice and include some extra songs so that the mix can double nicely as a Memorial Day BBQ playlist, too.

And if you really are graduating and saying goodbye for real, I just feel bad for you. Good luck, may the force be with you, yada, yada, yada.

Celebrate the wonderful fact that you’re still in college here!

Considering the fact that I’ve done nothing but sulk (with the occasional break for a anxiety panic attack over my future) since graduation, it’s relatively amazing that I was able to find time in my self despair to write this blog. Graduating college is worse than I ever imagined. Probably because I always imagined going straight from graduation to an awesome job with an awesome apartment in an awesome city. (Thank you, Lauren Conrad!)

Instead I’m sitting at home covered in hummus (I couldn’t find the pita chips so I’ve just been eating it straight) yelling at my sister to answer the damn phone. I can’t take that old-fashioned landline ringing.

My mother’s turned into a hovercraft and a social butterfly. She spends half her time leaving me alone on the couch to go out with friends (pray tell, when did she attain those?) and the other half asking me what would make me feel better. To which I answer, “Umm I would like you to build a time machine and transport me right back to the part of Freshman year where it stopped being awkward.” So far she has failed at this task. She has one more week to reach success before I give her the next “make me feel better task” of finding me a job. Read More »