So I’m single. And not only am I single – I am a single lady who is not looking for someone to put a ring on it anytime soon. If my grandma reads that she will probably have a heart attack, but I stand by my word (although I do promise to come visit her at the hospital).

You see, I am not your typical girl who is always on the man-hunt. Don’t get me wrong – it’s not that I don’t want to meet someone, or enjoy flirting at the bar and the like – it’s just that there are things I L.O.V.E about being a single lady. Things that I’m not so keen on giving up. Things I want to enjoy for as long as possible now before I get married to some dude who thinks a fun weeknight involves South Park and Dutch Oven-ing me.

So here is this weeks Love List: Why all my single ladies love being single.

1) My legs keep me a lot warmer in the winter than my taken friends. I live in Chicago and it is COLD. Actually cold doesn’t even describe it – it’s like an arctic tundra (do those words even go together?). And being single makes that not-s0-bad. How? I love that I don’t have to shave my legs in the winter if I don’t want to. Is it a little embarrassing in yoga when my teacher happens to see that my ankle hair could be braided and beaded like I just spent a week in Jamaica? Sure, but at least my legs keep me warmer than those soft Jergened up legs of yours. Read More »

Dear Mr. Thong Inventor,

I would like to preface this letter by saying that your work has made a large yet incredibly skimpy contribution to my adolescent years. And while I do believe in the nobleness of your cause, I am rather puzzled by the method to the madness of such an invention. As I hold up the tiny piece of fabric that is my underwear, several questions come to mind, such as:

• Which came first: The thong, or “The Thong Song”?

The first time I heard the thong song, I was 11-years-old. Try explaining to a sixth grader, still under-clad with flower-print Hanes grannie panties, the concept of a thong. Watching a leprechaun of a man do cartwheels on the beach doesn’t really do that good of a job of explaining the exact science behind the thong. In fact, I’m pretty sure I thought he was singing about summertime footwear up until 2001, when I realized I needed to wear this contraption to be socially acceptable.

• Where the devil did you get this genius idea?

Was it a public service project? Did you see one too many VPLs (Visible Panty Lines, for you not-in-the-knows) and proclaim “I’ve had it! I’m inventing buttless underwear!” To you, Mr. Thong Inventor, going commando just wasn’t an option. Now that point I can understand, as I probably have not washed my jeans since the opening night of “Sex and the City.” And who really likes walking around with that “I’m wearing the pant equivalent of dirty underwear” feeling all day? Yeah, neither do I. So really, Mr. T.I, you were the answer to my laundry-lazy, VPL-phobic prayers.

• How the hell did you get it to catch on?

No seriously. It takes pure skill to get a woman to try on a permanent wedgie, let alone make it a long lasting trend in the sexy lingerie industry. Think about it: it’s a tiny scrap of cotton, satin, silk, or pearls (hey, I dunno what kinda stuff you’re into…) that is designed to chill between your butt cheeks all day. But women still go crazy for them! They even tease other women that don’t wear their underwear up their ass. Read More »