Life lesson #43298: What you think you should do is sometimes completely different than what you want to do – If only I could jump back to last summer to tell myself!

For what seems like forever, I have told everyone from friends, random people at parties, teachers, and family members that upon graduating undergrad, I would head off to graduate school to a M.A. or Ph.D. program in English literature. In fact, during my first year of college while my classmates were mostly concerned with figuring out their major requirements, I obsessed over taking the right classes designed for graduate school track students, finding the right internships, and doing everything the right way towards getting to graduate school – ruling everything out that did not fit in the perfect English grad school box I put myself in.

As you can imagine, it’s a rather rude awakening when everything doesn’t fall into place like you planned for it to.  Looking back, the moment I realized that my plans were not something I really 100% wanted to do anymore was during a conference meeting with my thesis advisor. She asked me why I wanted to attend graduate school. I was silent. I had no answer. I sputtered off some generic – the “I’d like to advance my studies in literature” excuse. But it felt so fake, so fabricated, and hearing myself say it bothered me. I didn’t like the way it rolled off the tip of my tongue. I didn’t like the way it made me feel about where I wanted to go in my future.

There is a huge problem when you don’t really have an answer as to why you are doing something major like applying to graduate programs, and this started the downward spiral of my graduate school plans. Another red flag was my honors thesis project. Like many seniors, I was completing a sixty-page thesis project (I was working in the area of girls’ fiction in children’s literature). I picked the topic myself, but not even a month or two into the project, I hated it. I wanted nothing to do with what I was writing and saying and researching. There I was working on something very similar to what I would be doing in graduate school, completely unhappy. Not good, right? Read More »

As a little girl, I always knew I would go to college. It was the way I would make myself in the world. Throughout college, I had endless internship opportunities. In fact, I had to turn down many of them because I couldn’t work them all at once. I had the chance to live in New York City for a summer and for a month of January. I studied abroad in London. I was asked by the English department at my school to complete an Honors Thesis – something only a few students are asked to do every year. I thought I did everything right, and figured my post-graduation experience would be equally as exciting as my college prospects.

Surprise! I haven’t even graduated yet, and nothing has gone the way I thought it would or how I want it to, and with graduation next weekend – it’s time to come up with a game plan for the ominous future.

Originally, I thought I wanted to attend graduate school and work towards a higher degree in English literature. I spent the entire fall semester working on taking the GRE exam, filling out graduate applications (and spending major money on sending them out!), and writing the most intense essay of my undergraduate career to send along to my program choices. In the midst of all this, I spoke with my academic advisor who told me “Charlsie, don’t worry about it – I think you’ll get in wherever you want, you’ll have the option to choose where you want to go. You’ll do great.” Despite the stress and pressure I felt from all this, her reassurance told me to expect the best and relax about my future. Read More »

Looking back on my time in college, there are a lot of things I wish people would have told me. Things that would have really impacted my life both then and in the future.

- I wish I would have known that all the guys I had crushes on would get fat and bald in five years.
- I wish I knew how scary and overwhelming my first year out of college would be.
- I really wish someone would have told me how bad I looked in shirts that showed my belly.

Had I known these things, who knows how my life would have turned out? I know I wouldn’t have spent so much time pining over dumb boys, crying myself to sleep for a year, or hiding my Senior Year photo album (because we had real, tangible photo albums back in 2005) under a pile of old clothes right now.

And that is why I would like to share a few things with you. I am your future (a fabulous, successful, happy, sexy, awesome, etc. girl) and I know what is to come. Allow me to guide you in your choices – based on all I have seen in my 5 years (gasp!) since graduating – to ensure you make the right choices and don’t end up with the same regrets I have. Read More »

#9: Reading for pleasure is magical. Make time for it!

Just last February, I was planning my 21^st birthday party. Now, I’m facing 22 (or as I like to call it 21+1) straight on. Even though the last twelve months have gone by, it feels like just yesterday I was indulging in jello shots and margaritas. For my 21st. Because just yesterday I was indulging in jello shots and margaritas.

Looking back, though, much has happened in the past year. It seems I’ve learned a lot while Ke$ha put a dollar sign in her name and started brushing her teeth with a “bottle of Jack,” John Mayer proclaimed that he is on the search for “the Joshua Tree of vaginas,” and the Jersey Shore became a national phenomenon.

So here (in no particular order) is what I know for certain after turning 21. Perhaps you youngsters can take a few things from this:

1. Friendships should make you happy — not pissed off : Friends should be so much more than people you dance on tables with and dish about the weekend to. They should be there for you, and you should be there for them. They also should not steal your alcohol on your 21^st birthday and make out with the fraternity guy, all while puking as your boyfriend helps take care of them.

2. Raincoats are amazing: They are often understated and overwhelmingly overlooked when it comes to fashion. But even if they aren’t fashionable, really, you can’t complain when that slicker keeps your from frizzing. Without a rain jacket I wouldn’t have made it through the summer in London. And I think it actually kept me going to class this past semester. Why didn’t I realize this sooner? It doesn’t matter if you have a basic from Lands End or a super sexy trench from Dillards, just get one!

3. Go to the gym: Surprisingly enough, it is worth your time. Who knew? I sure didn’t, until I started going religiously with my boyfriend back in September. If you actually go to the gym and do more than hang out on the treadmill and elliptical for thirty minutes, you can see results. Plus, it teaches you patience on so many different levels. Read More »

Grad school or no grad school - that is the question.

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. We love a strong woman (unless she happens to be charging at us with her fists raised), so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like taking him home for the holidays!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

The New Year is here, and for those of you graduating in May, it’s time to start thinking about the future (insert groan here). Probably the biggest question you face down as graduation approaches is, what next? You could go out and get a job, bum around your parents’ place for a while, or you could keep the education train rolling with grad school. Applications to Masters programs have gone way up in the last few years (and they’re starting soon) - should you be joining them?

On the “pro” side of the argument, there are a lot of reasons it could be worth it to go to grad. There’s a lot more freedom in graduate study than in undergrad, which means that you get to make your own rules a bit more and you can really immerse yourself in one area of interest instead of taking all those required classes you’re never going to use again. Also, the job market still pretty much sucks (depending on your field, of course) and studies have shown that people who start jobs now (at lower pay) will continue to be paid lower even 10 years down the road – WTF? So in that respect, grad school is a really good way to buy yourself a little time and maybe a better pay check in the future. And ultimately, the truth is that a Masters degree is going to become increasingly the standard for our generation and the ones following us. For our grandparents it was a high school diploma, for our parents, a college degree and for our generation, where soooo many go to college, standing out is going to mean a Masters at least. Consider it an investment in your future.

But there are some distinct “cons” here too. To start with, you finally managed to graduate, the day you’ve been working toward since you were five, and now you’ve got to go in for at least 2 more years?! And while many grad schools are less expensive than undergrad, it’s still not exactly cheap. If you already have student loans or debt piling up, grad school may not be such a helping hand, particularly since there aren’t nearly as many scholarships or grants for grad. And while you don’t have to take those crappy required classes, grad school doesn’t allow for a lot of blow off courses either, which means an awful lot of stress. Speaking of stress, let’s not forget that most grad programs require you to take the GREs - yep, it’s like the SATs all over again. Joy! Oh, and BTW, when I mentioned up there that applications to grad school were way up, some schools have seen jumps of over 30%, so just getting in could be an issue.

Do you see yourself in grad school? Or would you rather eat your backpack than add on more school years? Will you be applying? Have you? Or do you think the whole idea of a Masters degree is just silly? Duke it out!

I'm gonna be bald by the time I graduate.

Ok, I know it’s only the middle of the semester – the hump of the term – but I can’t lie … senior year is brutally kicking my ass. As I keep referring to my day-minder to see what is due next or what I need to worry about in the near future (For example, the GRE), I can’t help but think back to sweeter, less busier times such as my first year in college – which I swear feels like it just happened yesterday.

Seniors, doesn’t it feel like just last week were filling out college applications, picking where we would attend, and nervously packing up our rooms and moving into our dorm room for the first time? The last three years have flown by, and this year is no different, except instead of saying to yourself “I have ___ many years left” you hear the fast-paced ticking of the clock letting you know your time is dwindling.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Well, if you’re like me, you are hearing more than the ticking of the graduation clock. Read More »

It is not hard to tell that we l-o-v-e summer around here. The clothes are so much cuter, the drinks are more refreshing, and the boys are lookin’ goooood. Well, some of em. The rest look the same as the rest of the year, just without the over-sized puffy jacket.We have been spending a lot of time outside lately – drinking, walking, flirting – and have met a lot of males. A lot. And the weird thing is, they all seem to fit into 7 categories. So, we decided to help you out a little and break down the Boys of Summer. Read More »

The building looked like any other corporate office building in America. As I pulled into the parking lot, my eyes scanned the area and I prayed I was at the right place. The innocuous sign on the door said “Prometric Learning Center, Suite 100,” as though it were any other suite in any building in corporate America. I parked my car, took a deep breath to prepare myself, and walked inside. A sign informed me that everything on the premises was video monitored and that by stepping inside I was giving my consent to appear on the footage.

Stepping inside, I couldn’t tell whether I was in a doctor’s waiting room or the locker area of a gym. To the right were chairs arranged in a tight circle, magazines scattered about the area; on the opposing wall there stood a row of rusted lockers.

A sign directed me to the front desk where a young man asked for my ID, and upon being certain that I was who I claimed to be, offered me a clipboard. I signed the honor code, promising that I would not use any forbidden study materials or divulge the contents of any question on the test. The specific rules for the GRE and testing in the center were stated on a piece of paper behind the one I’d signed, reminding me that nothing was allowed into the testing room with me, that study materials could not be used at any time after the test began, and that during my 10 minute break (if I wished to take said break) I could not leave the facility. Read More »

What can you do with a B.A. in English? What is my life going to be?

A difference to the human race…

–Princeton, Avenue Q

Like so many wide-eyed college students, I decided that the ‘practical’ degree was not for me. I had no intentions of going to med school, which is to the benefit of the general public, and I certainly wasn’t about to take any more math than absolutely necessary. No engineering for me, Mom and Dad, even if you do get set up with interviews through the university. I was majoring in English.

I often lament this rebellion when I look at my checking account. Unfortunately, my other rebellious idea was to move to New York, so being young and broke has taken on an entirely new meaning altogether. Read More »