[Wanna ask Tuffy Luv a question? Shoot her an email at tuffy@collegecandy.com and get an answer. Tuffy Luv is posted every other Tuesday. So emmmmaiiiiillllll!]

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’m dating this guy who is really great in (almost) every way. He’s cute, my friends all like him, and he’s a lot of fun to hang out with.

The only thing is, we’ve been going out for almost six months now and he’s never gone down on me. I’ve gone down on him at least ten times. I asked him what the deal is and he said he “doesn’t like the smell,” not of me, but of all girls.

What do you think?

Deprived Of Oral

Dear Deprived,

I think the boy better suck it up and be a man, that’s what I think.

I mean, look, Girl – it’s one thing if neither of you wants oral. And it’s another if neither one of you are doing it. But if one of you is only giving and the other is only receiving–well, it’s time to have a talk.

Is he not aware that his junk don’t smell so great either? Look, we’re all human beings–we can’t help but smell a little. But that shouldn’t stop us from sexually fulfilling our partners, especially in such a standard kind of way.

Or, if he’d like, he can forgo oral as well and then you’ll be even. But somehow I doubt he’ll do that. You know why? Because it feels flipping fantastic, and he’s being a greedy little b*tch.

To ease the baby into it, perhaps you could try the conventional methods of smelling better down there. For instance, wash immediately before he’s going to do the deed. Let him pick out a fragrance he enjoys. Hell, pick out a flavored lube together if that does the trick. Ask him what would make him comfortable and then do it. Because, honestly, honey, no one should have to go without oral sex if she wants it. Especially if she’s doling it out herself.

(And remember–always use protection!!! You can get STDs from oral sex, don’t fool yourself!)

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

[Image courtesy of images.askmen.com]

Mondays are always bad, especially after a weekend of heavy drinking (as if there are any others), but today is even worse. It’s bad. Very bad. Very, very bad.

Citigroup just announced that it will be buying Wachovia bank to save it from collapsing. Just like AIG. And WaMu. And every other FREAKING BANK IN THIS COUNTRY.

Seriously, are there any banks even left anymore?

I know that everyone is telling us not to freak out, that this is just a dip and that we will come back from it, but I am about ready to pull my money from the bank and invest it somewhere safe.

Like in denim. Or shoes. Or lots of new winter coats. Those greedy bastards on Wall Street won’t be able to take it from me there!

There is a reason we come into this nice, little world, with…gifts. And unless you’re some SUPER HUMAN FREAK, you don’t tend to have gifts that cross into a million different categories.

So when Vanessa Minnillo, used-to-be MTV VJ and super babe girlfriend to Nick Lachey, Jessica Simpson’s former husband, announces she is making, “a film.“, I want to tell her to grab a microphone, bust out an ab-roller, do her hair, tell me what the number one video of the week is, and then-shut up.

I get that a job like VJing is, to most, a platform to a “greater success.” But when was the last time a VJ came out with an Oscar winning, or even bearable film that didn’t go straight to DVD? I don’t think ever? Or didn’t join some cheesy teen sitcom (One Tree Hill- Hilarie Burton)?

Come to think of it, its not just VJ’s who are overextending themselves, Hollywood in general is getting ridiculously greedy.

It isn’t just enough to be an actor with films and tv shows, now it’s all…I’d like to have a clothing line! Then when designing gets tiring, and Wal*Mart and Target have been dominated, “I’ve always liked perfume, maybe I’ll make my own?!“

Okay, people. There are designers because they were born to design, Actors because they have to ACT, Painters because they just have to paint, and Writers because they were born to WRITE. Just because you’re good at one thing doesn’t mean you’ll instantly be the master of all things creative.

So no, I don’t want to buy your wine, your earrings, your notebooks or–your album.

What is it with this whole generation who thinks just because they can buy recording programs and a decent microphone, they’re suddenly…producers? No, you’re a DUDE, WITH A BEATMAKER.

Just because you have a mic, doesn’t mean you can sing. Just because you have the outlet to create a childrens clothing line, doesn’t make you qualified to do so, i.e.: Hilary Duff, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Miley Cyrus??? Really, ladies, I know you aren’t in there sketching cropped jackets for five year olds all yourself. Please.

So, though there are the few who manage to dominate many genres of entertainment, and do it well, there are FEW who do it WELL. Madonna, does it well. But Madonna, is an alien.

So please, Hollywood, for the sake of production companies everywhere, for the sake of your agents’ jobs, for the sake of your own self-worth…stop double dipping and stick to what you know.

Girls, are you sick of looking for a sugardaddy in all the wrong places? And rich guys, is it lonely being loaded with cash but not looks? Search no further than MillionaireMate.com.

This newest installment of shallow dating sites proclaims it’s “where wealth and beauty come together for the ultimate online dating experience”, and allows members to check availability boxes such as “casual date”, “pen pals”, “casual sex/party”, “discrete relationship”, or “travel companion”.

Although I’m not sure what the difference is between “casual sex” and “discrete relationship” (or “casual sex” and “travel companion”, for that matter), the options on MillionaireMate.com do more than enough to disgust anyone who isn’t either a) greedy or b) desperate.

Dating based on looks and wallet size alone is a surefire way to end up unhappy and used.

But I mean, if you’re into that sort of thing…membership is free.