Unfortunately, hazing and college go together almost as seamlessly as Solo cups and Natty Light. Fraternities and sororities get most of the attention, but hazing activities pop up all across campus. Sports teams, student groups… even student government hazes new members in some way.

According to StopHazing.org, hazing is defined as “any activity expected of someone joining a group (or to maintain full status in a group) that humiliates, degrades or risks emotional and/or physical harm, regardless of the person’s willingness to participate.” That can include everything from going to an event in costume to being thrown off a roof between two matresses (and yes, that did happen at my school).

In its original form, hazing was used to create a bond between a group of people. Basically, older members would put their new recruits through obstacles in attempts to force them to band together against their oppressors. And in theory it works – how many times during middle school did you and your classmates band together when faced with an evil teacher or, better, a sub?

The problem is that it has gone too far. Students are getting injured and sometimes even killed during acts of hazing. ABC recently did a study on this where they brought hazing out into the open to see if people would step up and stop the cruel acts. And what happened?

Well, when men were being hazed most people stepped in to stop it. When women were being hazed, however, most people stood by and watched, letting the poor girls be humiliated and hurt. It was a spectacle and people wanted to see what happened next.

It was horrifying and difficult to watch, but it made me realize that I have done this many times. Not only was I hazed as a freshman (mostly benign things like dressing up or being an older girl’s “slave”), but I knew about many other kids being hazed and never did anything about it. I wrote it off as just another thing that “everyone goes through” and let it continue. Yes, even when it was happening in front of me.

Campuses have cracked down on hazing recently, but it has not stopped. Could this be because we, the people closest to it, allow it to go on?

Every college student has encountered hazing in some way, so I’d like to know: would you stop hazing if you saw it? If not, why? Let it all out in the comments.

So the time had come again at Syracuse for Alcohol Awareness Week. Basically this is a week where students, okay mainly Greeks, are supposed to be more “aware” of alcohol. This “awareness” is culminated in an event called “mocktails” on Friday night. Each sorority is paired up with a frat and then they have a sober party. Not like “let’s just take a little shot beforehand” kind of sober, not “just one joint” kind of sober, not “a bottle of wine with dinner” kind of sober, but actually sober (yeah, the frats were confused about it too and asked if the mocktail money could possibly go towards the purchase of a keg).

While I’m usually the first to hop on (and steer!) the Friday night drinking train, I coudn’t help but be a wee bit reluctant to get my ticket for the Friday night sober train. I mean, really, what could that possibly be like? Unfortunately (or fortunately if you like to look at your mocktail glass as being half full) the thing about the Friday night sober train was that it was mandatory and my ticket had been purchased for me.

So, you ask, what goes on at a completely sober party? And how do people party withut the aid of mind numbing alcohol? Below is a pro/con list of my sober Friday night experience. And let me tell you; getting ready for the party without playing 3 games of Kings was a very strange feeling…

Con: (Yes, I’m starting with a con, cause that’s how the night started.) Upon arrival, things look like a middle school dance: boys on one side, girls on the other. Socialization seems to be severely impaired by this new idea of sobriety.

Pro: The thing about drinking a mocktail is that they don’t make you want to vomit! Yay! Pro!

Con: Unfortunately, other thing about mocktails is that they turned out to be a pitcher of Kool-Aid…

Pro: As the night went on, my make-up stayed in place, my hair stayed where I put it, and I ended the night without looking like a clown!

Con: It turns out people are generally confused about what to do without alcohol. Without some sort of set activity or drinking game, people seem to not really know what to do with themselves, leading to much couch sitting.

Pro: Not spending money on alcohol led to some pretty sweet decorations: aka streamers

Con: Soberly, dancing consisted only of girls; I guess guys are not as interested in dancing if they don’t have alcohol to lend confidence to their moves

Pro: Alcohol-free parties apparently include snacks! Delicious snacks! Gotta replace those alcohol calories some way…

Con: Time seems to drag on when you were sober. You know how when you are drunk suddenly you look up and its 5 AM? That doesn’t happen when you are sober…It’s 9:15 and then what seems like an hour later…it is 9:18…

Pro: Okay I’m out of pros.

Call me an alcoholic if you will, but after a week of stressful classes I want a cocktail, not a mocktail. Sure, having to do this once didn’t ruin my life, but this Friday I’m gonna have to drink a few extra shots of Svedka to make up for it…

I have never thought of myself as a “sorority girl.” Like many people, when I thought of the term “sorority girl” I didn’t have a whole lot of positive connotations. I thought they were fake, perky, skanky, High School queen bees, who did a lot of partying and a lot of drugs.

Okay, so I guess I let Hollywood feed me that stereotype.

However, once I started freshman year I started meeting some great girls (who were none of those stereotypical adjectives) and who were also in sororities. The contrast baffled me, so I decided to investigate.

Sororities are pretty big on my campus and something like 35% of girls go Greek. That fact and all the nice girls I had met led me to sign myself up for the 2 week long process of rush. My floor friends all signed up too, but I was still pretty iffy about the idea. I told a few home friends and their reaction was…well less than enthusiastic. I got responses like; “Are you serious?” “Why would you do that to yourself?” and “You are not a sorority girl!” Even my mom, who went Greek in college, said that it might not be for me. These people were the people that knew me best, so I thought that they were probably right, and I prepared to pull my name off the list of about 700 girls.

I deliberated for a while and ended up setting everyone else’s input aside (where it should have been in the first place). While my friends meant well, what did any of them know about being Greek? It is simply impossible to judge such a huge population of college girls based on Legally Blonde. So I kept my name on the rush list, for the primary reason that if I backed out before I had given it a fair shot, I knew I would feel regret and always wonder “what if.”

So I rushed, which at my school is literally rushing around. You go from house to house, sometimes in heels, meeting tons of girls. There are four rounds, “Go Greek”, “House Tours”, “Philanthropy”, and “Preference Rounds”. At the end of each round you rank the houses and they, in turn, rank all the “rushees.” Not gonna lie: it was a little nerve-wracking and exhausting. But as I walked around the houses and met the girls it became easy to sense where I belonged and where I didn’t quite feel comfortable.

In the end I picked a house and they picked me and I got to meet so many people that I would not have otherwise. People that are now my best friends and sisters. At such a big school, going Greek provided me with a smaller circle, girls to have fun with and girls to study with, girls to take care of me when I needed help and a place to feel comfortable.

Rush, of course, doesn’t turn out the same for everyone. Some people find houses, others don’t. I have a friend who regretted not rushing freshman year and rushed as a sophomore. In the end she dropped out of rush, but at least she could now say with certainty that it wasn’t for her. Even if you rush and end up not liking it you will meet so many more people. You could meet girls you like and choose to be friends with, but not sisters with, after the process. Or you could meet girls that dislike rush just as much as you end up bonding over disdain for the process. Or you could rush and find a sorority that you want to be a part of. You could find yourself a place where you are comfortable and happy, and what could be better than that?

Either way, I encourage rushing because it’s something you don’t get to re-do later in life. Give it a shot and you’ll be regret-free either way.

College is a time when many of us fly the coop and, oftentimes, settle in a totally different city, away from parents and long-time friends.

Even for the biggest social butterflies, there is always going to be some slight apprehension when faced with the prospect of making a completely new set of buddies, leaving the comfort zone of the high school social circle.

Typically, the transition for most students is from a smaller high school to an often much larger college. This leaves an opportunity to meet people, but don’t rely solely on “mass-friending” people in your incoming class on Facebook to start connecting with others (that leaves for the always slightly awkward meeting which is guided by a mutual search for the person who matches the default profile picture). Also, don’t rely solely on meeting new people on your floor of the dorm where you are living, either. Just because you live in the same general area, there is definitely no guarantee that you’ll share common interests or have agreeing personalities.

Here are a few ideas to get connected with other students on campus, and hopefully make some new friends:

Join a special interest or volunteer club.

Are you into scrapbooking, animal rights, or “green” initiatives? There are so many clubs dedicated to everything (from Salsa dancing to barbequing) that finding one that captures a passion or hobby is usually fairly easy, and if not, you can request to create a new club! By connecting with others that have similar interests and passions, you create an instant common ground. Also, many college campuses have clubs dedicated to those who share the same cultural heritage or religious background.

Try out for a club/intermural sport.

Whether you are very athletic or not coordinated in the least, trying a new sport (e.g. golf, ultimate Frisbee, judo, triathalon, Guitar Hero training… seriously) that sounds interesting and fun to you is a great way to build friendships and get into shape! Many club sports welcome inexperienced members, and will often have trainers, uniforms, and other benefits available to you without having to pay hefty dues. Plus, if you get good, you might place and be able to compete in a larger competition. It’s a great way to build some team spirit.

Audition for or join a performing arts group.

If acting, singing, playing an instrument or dancing is of interest to you, I highly encourage getting involved in the performing arts on campus. Like the sports, performing arts groups are like teams, bringing people close together, whether they are rehearsing for a musical, practicing together for a showcase, or even preparing for a gig at the student union. Though I am a finance and marketing major, I auditioned and made it into the top chorale group at my university. We performed in amazing places and even got to go on an all-expenses paid trip to Ecuador, where we went to and performed in workshops, met international students, and toured volcanoes and other gorgeous landscapes.

Go Greek or join a major academic or professional organization.

Even if you feel that Greek life is “all Greek to you” (haha, yeah…), definitely check out Greek life, as well as the other major academic and professional organizations on campus (which may or may not have Greek letters, as well). While the social Greek scene was not for me, I joined a professional business fraternity (co-ed, yay!) that focused on building business skills and networking, while also promoting a sense of brotherhood and connection between the members. While rushing/pledging a major organization may seem daunting, if you are dedicated, the entire experience is worth it, and you make great friendships along the way.

Take a class that you are interested in, even if it is not in your major.

Elective classes (and even classes in general that you enjoy) are a good way to meet people, especially if they are discussion-based. Sharing opinions, working together, and studying together are always a surefire way to bond.

College is the best time to try new things and meet new friends. So get involved (especially if you are commuting)! I promise you will not regret it.

My name is K, and I was in a sorority.

That is, I’m an alum. I still wear my butt-shorts to sleep at night and my Greek Week t-shirts to the gym. I have sorority jewelry, and my best friends are people I pledged with. I may or may not have my affiliation listed on my resume. And I am not ashamed.

What does irk the hell out of me, though, are the characters who, post-college, find it appropriate to judge me and still make the same assumptions that were made in college. Just a heads up, kids, but just like no one cares if you were cool in high school, no one could care any less whether you were cool in college. And by hating on me for being Greek, you’re definitely no cooler than the next a**hole.

Sure, I partied, but so did a large percentage of the independents (oh that’s right, there’s a label for them, too). Shocker, sorority girls aren’t always the drunk mess you expect them to be.

So let’s clarify a few things, shall we?

#1. No, I did not buy my friends. Surprise! I actually have other friends who aren’t Greek. Who cares where or how you meet people if they’re quality? I lucked out; my house was full of girls I clicked with, many of whom will probably be in my wedding. I could just as easily say you bought all your college friends because you paid tuition to attend a university with thousands of other people, right? You’re electing to join an institution where you will happen into people…. kind of makes you a hypocrite to call me out. I’m not picking people to hang out with based on whether or not they were in a frat or sorority in college, and if you are, you’re living a sad, sad life.

#2. No, I am not going home with you. I hate nothing more than a guy who asks if I was in a sorority in college, particularly at the bar. As soon as I answer, the same smirk spreads across each of their faces. Stop it. I have standards and I’ve encountered enough shady characters to realize that you don’t meet them.

#3. No, I am not living off of mommy and daddy still. And no, you cannot get on my bar tab.

#4. Actually, I’m not just another dumb blonde. My GPA was probably better than yours. Study Tables, helloooo.

#5. We don’t photograph those pillow fights you hear about. Thanks, those are just for us…. when and if they happen at all.

Ultimately, my decision to pledge just created a different college experience for me. Just me. Not you. What I did didn’t affect you then, and doesn’t impact your life now. So why do you care? If you were part of the Greek system, you understand it and you can bond with people over it. If not, you have no reason to hate just because we were in a different club. ‘Kay?

I’m off to catch the Spring Break episode of GREEK, thanks. I have a thing for Kappy.

[photo courtesy of americaneagle.com]

When I think of fraternities, I often think in images; beer pong tables, guys running around without pants, pledges standing out in the rain and screaming renditions of the school’s fight song…you know, the typical, Hollywoodified version of Greek life.

What I never picture is yoga.

No, not toga. Yoga. As in stretching and breathing. As in Fraternity brothers stretching and breathing together at 8 A.M.

Across the nation, Fraternities have been attempting to revamp their image. Suffering from bad press, reports of hazing, and general ill-will from other members of their Universities, certain Greek organizations have decided to replace the drinking and partying with “honorable”, healthy living.

The Sigma Phi Epsilon house at the University of Missouri-Columbia is a shining example of Fraternities Gone Good. Aside from those early morning yoga classes, “trips to the opera, wine tastings and documentary film screenings” are all part of Missouri Sigma Phi Epsilon’s “Balanced Man” initiative.

After a particularly questionable hazing incident, the national group of Sigma Phi Epsilon kicked out a dozen members who didn’t “measure up to their new standards”, and began the slow process of eradicating hazing and accepting new members who appreciated the lack of obnoxious, often embarrassing rituals.

“We’re doing our best to destroy the frat boy stereotype,” explains Matthew Ontell, director of the new national Sigma Phi Epsilon image. “This is what Greek life is supposed to be about, holding men to a higher standard.”

While a lot of Fraternities will probably continue to harass their new members and attempt to make drinking a national sport, I, for one, am personally happy to see some guys stepping up and acting like men.

Hazing has—and always will be—a ridiculous, immature way for certain members of a group to put themselves above others. Although I’m not sure how interested a bunch of college guys really are in “trips to the opera”, opting for that over setting each other’s underwear on fire?

Definitely a step in the right direction.

I was a sorority girl.

I went to college with the firm belief that I would never ever go Greek. Yet there I was at my first rush event freshman year, awkwardly chatting with 30 or so girls. I didn’t really know why I was there, except that a girl on my crew team was in the group and had invited me to come. She seemed normal, and very much not what I had envisioned a sorority girl to look like.

None of these girls fit the stereotype. That was probably what attracted me the most to this particular group of girls. I thought there must be something to this whole thing if all these very different, very interesting women were a part of it.

A few years out of school now, I look back on my time spent with those girls very fondly, and when I tell people I was in a sorority they are just as shocked as I was when my teammate revealed to me her Greek affiliation.

Before you run out to your first rush function, there are some things to consider.

First of all, there is the inevitable pledge period which will suck. Your life suddenly becomes not yours anymore, and your grades will probably drop due to a complete lack of sleep and late night phone calls. The amount of crap you will have to endure will depend entirely on the group, but there will be some level of suckiness, so prepare for the worst.

Even though I felt like my sorority was full of very different personalities, each school will have it’s own stereotype for each Greek group. At my school there were 5 sororities and they were divided into 5 labels. There were the rich anorexic girls, the preppy good girls, the nerdy yet lovable girls, the nerdy and not so lovable girls, and finally us, the drugged up shady girls. To a certain extent these labels came from somewhere, but just keep in mind that your affiliation will follow you throughout your college career.

It also takes time and money to be a part of a sorority. You have to pay dues, and go to meetings and organize events. My parents thought sororities were an excuse to gather and drink (which I’ll be honest, it kind of was) so they weren’t about to front the money. I ended up working at the security office twice a week to pay my dues. All this stuff can at times feel like more trouble than it’s worth.

Rushing is a painful experience. When I finally decided I wanted in, there were asses to kiss and far too much drinking. Though most schools have policies that formal rush events cannot serve alcohol, the informal ones involve case races and shots. Bonding with other rushies can often include holding your new friend’s hair back as she pukes off of the porch, not that I know from experience.

The Greek life is certainly not for everyone.

For love of God, think about it and be choosy about how you want to spend 4 years of your life. I loved being in a sorority but it certainly limits how you spend your time socially. I had never had friends that were girls and I got to know a lot of great ones. For all the times I regretted going to that first rush function, I think about every killer party we threw and it somehow becomes all worth it.