You’ve got a big day planned: 7am bloody marys, 9am flip cup tourny, a burrito break, then lots and lots of green beer. 18 hours of boozing? Psssssh. It may sound like a lot, but you’ve been training for a day like this since you stepped foot on campus.

You set your alarm for 6 a.m. then run around the house screaming at your roommates to get out of bed.

“It’s party time! Get up!” You turn on all the lights, bump your iTunes and head down to the kitchen for a power breakfast. You search for the carbiest things you can find, then shove a half frozen bagel into your mouth and wash it down with some OJ, the only non-alcoholic beverage you will have for the day. You don’t have time for chewing; you have an outfit to pick out.

Once your stomach is good and coated you head back to your room to prepare for the day.

Appropriate drinking outfit? Check.
ID? Check.
Camera? Check.
Small flask that fits into your purse but can still get past campus security? Cheeeck.

You head back downstairs and begin mixing cocktails for the roommates. Slowly, they make their way to the kitchen where you are waiting for them, drinks in hand.

After everyone’s buzz has been kick-started (thanks to your force feeding), you take some much-needed selfies then head out into the sea of green. Once you reach your first destination of the day, the drinks come quickly: shots of Captain’s straight from the bottle, cans of Keystone straight from the funnel, and 2 games of flip cup…all before 10 am.

You’re feeling good, like a rock star.

“I LOVE DAY DRINKING!” You scream. “This party’s goin’ all. night. long!”

As you make your way from friend to friend, you do your part to make sure everyone is drinking as much as you. After all, you are a day drinking champion and everyone else should be able to handle it, too.

“DRINK, PUSSY!” You shove your half-empty beer can in some guy’s face. “There is no sobriety on this sacred holiday!”

You spend the next hour cycling between games of flip cup, trips to the bathroom (because you broke the seal too early), and hazing your friends into drinking more. Oh, and who can forget, taking lots and lots of pictures. Mostly of you and one of many alcoholic beverages.

Eventually it’s time to head out to party number 2. You throw your last beer can onto the ground, hop on some boy’s back and head out. “To State Street!” you scream, before smacking him in the ass to get him moving. Sure, you’re wasted, but that’s the point; the day has only just begun.

You’re about 100 yards down the street when those early morning decisions hit you. Like a truck. You hop off his back and – what? – why is the ground swaying? Are you on a boat? And who stuck the giant cotton ball in your mouth?

You trip onto sit down on the curb and then the spins begin. It’s only about another 3 minutes before you are calling a friend and begging her to walk to home. You stuff your face with a Jimmy John’s Turkey Tom (no sprouts) on the stumble trek back to your place, then climb into bed fully clothed and pass out (with a garbage can nearby) all before 1 p.m.

You wake up a few hours later, chug a bottle of water and then get back into bed. Your roommates try to rouse you to join them for the night’s festivities, but the thought of alcohol gives you the chills.

—

You were too quick out of the gates, my friend. But it’s OK – we’ve all been there.
Day drinking’s a bitch. There aren’t many people who can keep it goin’ all night long.

So St. Paddy’s Day 2010 has come and gone and if the giant foam hat I discovered in my bed this morning (that I don’t even remember wearing…) is any indication, the day was a huge success. Not a success: my brand new pillow cases that are now permanently printed with glittery green shamrocks that were once adorning my cheeks.

But, yeah, yesterday was awesome. Epic. “BEST DAY EVER!” At least that was the case, say, eight hours ago when I was doing the Irish Jig and clicking my heels on the way to Taco Bell for a few late night Crunch Wrap Supremes.  However, post-day St. Paddy’s, when I’m feeling green instead of wearing green, isn’t giving me that loving feeling.

Does anyone else feel like even water doesn’t taste good this morning?  Yeah, you can thank the Irish Car Bombs for that one.

If only I had remembered this feeling 3 days ago when I was counting down the hours to St. Patrick’s day via my Facebook profile and gushing about all the beauty this religious holiday has to offer. When I was scrambling to finish up my Thursday reading so I could spend 12 hours drinking in peace. When I was putting together the perfect green outfit, undies and all. When my friends and I were scoping out the drink specials at every bar on campus. Honestly, since the minute I turned 21, I transformed into a (figuratively Irish) St. Paddy’s Day pro-party planner/green beer extraordinaire.

But as the next day taps me on the shoulder, I realize I have Irish-jigged myself into a green mess.

Yes, this morning has been brutal. I woke up at 8am for class and thanked god I didn’t choke to death in my sleep from the 13 shamrock necklaces around my neck. I removed them and stumbled to the bathroom where I realized that I failed to properly squirt contact fluid into my contact holder last night. And when I looked in the mirror and tried to scrub off what was left of the giant shamrock on my face, I learned that I hadn’t been to 2 bars like I once thought, but actually went to 6. So many, in fact, that the stamps were running up my arm.

I returned to my room to get dressed for the long (OMG it’s gonna be so long) day of classes, which now looked like a leprechaun’s clothing store. Somehow throughout the day I acquired quite the Irish wardrobe: foam hat, green aviators, shamrock antenna head band, a neon green wig, and (my personal favorite) a button that reads, “Want to see my lucky charms?”

Just looking at it all made my head hurt.

And now, with what feels like 12 little leprechaun’s banging on my skull, I have to go to class. In my glasses. With bar stamps up my arm.

Yeah, St. Paddy’s Day was a success, but I just hope someone will remind me of this feeling next February when I start my countdown to the greatest college holiday of the year.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go dump the green beer out of my Nalgene (true story) and fill it with some Blue Powerade for the long day ahead.

From everyone at CollegeCandy, have a wonderful St. Patrick’s Day!
May it be filled with green beer, Irish car bombs, greasy pizza and more green beer.
Just don’t forget the rules!

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Being that I’m a huge lush college student, I don’t know (nor do I care) if there’s any real historical significance to St. Patrick’s Day besides binge drinking. What I do know is that on March 17th, we’ll all be dressed in green, hanging out of bar windows, and stumbling around campus in various stages of blackout.

Every St. Patrick’s Day when my alarm goes off at 7 a.m., my half-Irish heart flutters as I anticipate the long day of debauchery ahead (I’d like to note that I’ve never scheduled a class earlier than 9:30 because I won’t get out of bed for it, but I will GLADLY rise with the sun for the promise of beer). Since day drinking holidays are marathons and not sprints, I’ve put together a list of do’s and don’ts to help you get the most out of St. Patty’s day. So go ahead, pick out a cute green outfit and make a killer Dropkick Murphy’s playlist, whether you’re Irish or just drink like you are!

Don’t: Go to Class Drunk
St. Patrick’s Day falls on a Wednesday this year, which means many of us have scheduled classes. My advice is to save up your absences so you can take off, but if that’s not possible, wait till afterward to get your drink on! A little Bailey’s mixed in with your coffee is fine, but save the car bombs and beer bongs for later if you plan to sit in lecture. Yes, it may suck to miss out on the festivities, but not as much as it will suck to take notes while the room is spinning.

Do: Coat Your Stomach!
Kegs and eggs are good, but make sure to do more eggs than kegs or you’ll be puking up green beer before lunchtime. And throw some carbs in there too, like a big, doughy bagel with some cream cheese. Not only will this keep you going through this drinkathon, but it will probably be your only opportunity that day to stick to your Spring-Break healthy eating plan; who knows what you’ll be chowing down on after a few hours and countless green drinks?

Don’t: Wear Anything Valuable
This is definitely the day to leave Grandma’s pearl earrings and your J. Crew green cashmere sweater at home. If you’re anything like me, the day will become so long and fuzzy that you won’t even be able to make it home with the plastic shamrock glasses and a green lacy garter you left with (true story). Even if you don’t lose it, it’s not a good idea to risk spilling Kahlua/Guinness/Red Bull/anything on something you care about.

Do: Pace Yourself
Pounding shots or having one too many Irish car bombs as soon as you wake up will have you passed out before your friends even hit the bar/frat party. You want to have fun and enjoy every moment of this day (because let’s face it, after graduation this behavior probably won’t be acceptable) so don’t have more than a couple of drinks every hour, depending on your tolerance and amount of food in your stomach (see above). And mixing too many different drinks is a recipe for disaster, which I learned the hard way (coffee + Bailey’s + beer+ car bombs + cheap vodka + Red Bull= MASSIVE tummy ache). Oh, and leave the green-beer making to the bartenders. Mixing green food coloring with a keg of Natty Ice seems like a good idea in theory, but you wouldn’t believe how hard it is to get that stuff off of your teeth (just trust me on this one).

Don’t: Party TOO Hard
This might be going against what I’ve been saying the entire time, but make sure you set some boundaries, mainly because the cops know what’s up and will be EVERYWHERE. Getting arrested might make for a legendary St. Patty’s Day story, but the popo never think it’s as funny as you do (nor do your parents, or the disciplinary action committee…) And ladies, you may be wearing green beads around your neck, but don’t mistake today for Mardis Gras and try to get more (camera phones are a real bitch). Last but not least, think twice about going home with that guy (even if he’s lookin’ more and more like Colin Farrell with every drink). School’s in sesh Thursday morning and doing the walk of shame in a springy, shamrock headband and smeared green face paint amongst class goers will suck (camera phones are a bitch, take 2).

Do: The Irish Jig
Cuz it’s funny… and probably a lot better than that drunken dance move you usually resort to when Ke$ha starts bumpin’ out of the speakers.

But, let’s try for just a few minutes before diving into the luck o’ the Irish, to look at the week that was:

- We learned Lindsay Lohan is clearly running out of the “revenue” she gained from her leggings line, because she has resorted to suing an innocent T.V. commercial. Milk-a-wha?

- We discovered jobs after college, are indeed possible! Yet another reason to celebrate this weekend.

- We welcomed back our favorite cast from the Upper East Side this week on Gossip Girl. Thank goodness, I needed a little Chuck Bass in my life…now if only I could get him in my bed.

- We looked at all of the awkward elements Facebook has to offer.

- We looked at the best commencement speakers (and the luckiest bastards who get to hear them) of 2010.

- We were disturbed by the thought of condoms for kids. Barf.

- We discovered that some students have started grading their professors. And it’s about time!

- We began following one College Candy author in her attempt to make fitness fun.

- We established the ‘rules of rebound’ so we could handle it like a champ.

- We watched Kathryn Bigelow make history and saluted her for being such an inspiration to women everywhere. And for getting a seat in front of her ex husband at the Oscars!

So here’s to another great week [raises glass of homemade green beer].
Cheers!

As per usual in my life, my senior year (the first one, mind you) was spent obsessing over a gargantuan, shaggy-haired, Beatles’ lovin, ex-BF who thought he was way too good for me. Even though he ignored me 99% of the time, I basically revolved my life around him. I planned my weekend festivities around where I thought he might show up. I wriggled myself into outfits no one should ever have to wriggle themselves into to “show him what he was missing.” (Which, it turned out, was a girl in a too-low top whose boobs were constantly falling out.) I made out with his friends in front of him.

Basically, I turned into a grade A psychopath. But, we still had mutual friends. Lots of them.

So, I got lucky one St. Patrick’s eve when said boy and I showed up at the same bash to indulge ourselves in green beer and endless games of flip cup. And after doing just that, ex-boy and I began our ritual flirtfest. We were notoriously known for talking smack about each other one day and hooking up the next, so no one was surprised when they watched us waltz away together – me, elated, him, just drunk. However, it had been about 5 months since our last little romp in the sheets and since then, he’d pretty much sworn me off to everyone he knew. Especially to his roommate, who now stared me down whenever he saw me and probably knew more awful (read: psycho) stories about me than anyone should.

After we walked to the bar together, we started to down shot after shot. Eventually, my friends I had left at the party showed up to drunkenly drag me to a couch to sleep on. I angrily obliged. Couldn’t they see that stud muffin was totally making bedroom eyes at me? After a three hour nap on a friend’s couch, (conveniently, around the corner from stud mufffin’s house) I woke up to multiple text messages from him: “Where are you?” “Comf over” (which I assumed, in sober speak, meant “Come over.”) Still tipsy from all the shots, I walked to his house in record time. (OK, I probably ran.)

And then the inevitable happened. Until eight in the morning.

Around 8:30, I started to come to. I realized where I was and what (who?) I was doing. Basically, I panicked. I was naked and he was sleeping.

I was scared.
I needed my friends.
I needed to pee.

I stood up as quickly as I could and looked out the window to make sure I was actually where I thought I was. However, instead of a road staring back at me, there was a PERSON. Staring. At me. Naked.

And that person happened to be ex boyfriend’s roommate – the same one who happened to hate on me hardcore.

We stared at each other for a couple seconds before he looked away and walked in the house… and I realized that he had just seen me wearing nothing but a shamrock necklace and a look of horror. Terrified, I scurried around the room and gathered my clothes (quietly, of course; I didn’t need to wake up the ex bf and have even more awkwardness). Minutes later, I composed myself and emerged from ex-boy’s bedroom. The roommate was enjoying a nice bowl of cereal on the couch. I hurried past him and thankfully he didn’t even look up from his Lucky Charms to see me out.

Once the door slammed behind me I ran home.
In green tights.

While many of us are planning on a fun, long day of celebrating with a little juice o’ the Irish, others of us (myself included) will be stuck in classes that we can’t miss, because part of our grade rides on attendance. So if you absolutely HAVE to go to class today, don’t give up the celebration!

Follow these tips and you can have your green beer and drink it too:

Don’t drink IN class – Even if you’ve got vodka in your water bottle or Malibu mixed into your bottle of OJ, it’s definitely not a good idea. Wait until class lets out before you attempt to catch up with your class-less friends.

Stop drinking at least an hour before class – I know this is difficult, being that you only have 18 hours of drinking to do, but you need to be at least somewhat sober when you walk into the classroom, unless you want to be stumbling over desks and chairs, or saying really stupid things (“Sorry, I’m too wasted to answer that one, sir.) to the prof.

Sit in the back and stay quiet – Unless you’ve completely sobered up at this point, you probably should keep your mouth shut so you don’t end up slurring your words when trying to answer the professor’s question. Plus, the further back in the classroom you sit, the lower your chances are of having your prof smell the beer seeping through your pores.

Do NOT put your head down – No matter how boring the lecture is, resist the urge to put your head down on your desk or you’ll run the risk of passing out, snoring, and making a total fool of yourself.

Bring Snacks – Bottles of water, a sandwich, a Shamrock shake… just bring something to get yourself through the class without passing out or barfing.

Other tips: go to the bathroom before class so you don’t run out 5 times during the hour and, for the love of St. Pat, wash out that green mouth! You don’t need the entire class knowing how early you were up drinking before class.

From all of us at CollegeCandy, have a lovely/rockin’ St. Patty’s Day! Just don’t forget the rules.

Somehow we managed to stay up way too late every night and we still feel like we accomplished nothing. Maybe that’s because we’re women and we are never satisfied. Or maybe it’s because between consuming large quantities of the best snack ever and trying some new ways to get healthy, we didn’t have time for the important stuff.

Like shopping for some new spring clothes (or making em!), or picking up the Kelly Clarkson Album. Or running to Whole Foods to stock up on makeup that isn’t toxic. Or attempting to change that guy into someone who does want a relationship.

But the week wasn’t a total wash. We learned a bit about hazing, picked up some awesome threads in grandma’s closet, learned how to cook, and planned a SIIIICK St. Patty’s day party. Without green beer. And we invited the boy we heart. Woot!

Oh, and we got tested. That was fun. Ok, it wasn’t too bad. I mean, at least we don’t have this girl’s problem.