Water – Water is probably the most important thing you ever put in your body throughout a given day.  Having enough water in your system helps everything run smoothly, including your digestion, thought processes, and alertness.  Plus, it helps flush (read: pee pee) out all of the toxic byproducts of your normal body processes.  This is the part that makes your skin glow, look fresh, and appear more rested.  While how much water you drink is constantly in dispute, my general rule of thumb is to drink enough water to keep your pee light yellow.

Omega-3 Rich Foods – This includes foods like salmon, flax seeds, walnuts, and certain types of beans.  Eating these foods on a normal basis increases your intake of essential fatty acids, which help your skin remain plump and fresh by holding water into your skin cells.  Omega-3s also act was an anti-inflammatory agent, which can improve the blood flow to your face, making you glow.

Selenium-Rich Foods – Studies have shown the power of this mineral in preventing damage to the skin cells.  Foods high in selenium include whole grains, turkey, and tuna.  Selenium can help prevent oxidative damage, which can age and roughen skin cells.  Pour yourself a bowl of whole wheat cereal in the morning to get closer to your daily selenium needs.

Green Tea – Green tea has been tied to a number of health benefits such as decreased appetite, increased calorie burn, and antioxidant properties.  For the skin, what makes this drink important is its anti-inflammatory properties.  Just like omega-3s, green tea may help protect skin cell membranes, making the skin look fresher, plumper, and well rested.

Vitamin A Rich Foods – Vitamin A is crucial to repairing skin cells.  When levels are low, the skin responds by becoming dry and flaky – something I know none of us want.  Many people apply Vitamin A creams topically as a treatment for wrinkles, acne, and psoriasis, but you can still obtain some effects by eating foods rich in Vitamin A.  Some of the best sources of this vitamin include carrots, broccoli, sweet potatoes, and butter.  On second thought, maybe you should refrain from snacking on sticks of the last one, just for your waistline’s sake.

Some of us love it (like that girl who never goes to the gym and eats french fries for every meal and somehow still wears a size 00) and some of us hate it (when we eat an apple and our thighs starts rubbing together). But does anyone really know what metabolism is or how it works?

Your (my, our) metabolism is really just your metabolic rate, or BMR, which is roughly the amount of calories that you burn when at rest. Like right now as you sit on your couch, feet up, laptop on your lap and a bowl of cereal in your hand. This is the energy that your body uses to keep organs, cells, and digestion all going. It is influenced by your age, sex, height, weight, and the amount of muscle mass that you have.

There are lots of myths around about things that will “speed up” your metabolism, causing you to burn more calories. There are also many surprising truths. I’m going to separation the fact from the fiction and give you all the tools to control your metabolic destiny. Here we go!

Myths

If your mom has a “slow” metabolism, you will too: This is one is half-true. Heredity does play a role in metabolism, but just because mama passed on that snail’s-pace metabolism doesn’t mean it has to stay that way. There are many ways to speed things up: build muscle mass, eat a balanced breakfast and overall diet, snack throughout the day on low-calorie foods, include protein in your diet, and keep moving!

Grapefruit increases your metabolic rate: Its fiber and water will fill you up, and the Thermogenic Effect of the fruit means that your body will use extra calories to digest it, but it won’t speed your metabolism up more than any other food.

Celery is a negative-calorie food: I wish! That would be easy. And I’d be eating a whole lot more celery. But, nope, it’s not so. Celery still has calories, no matter how difficult it is for our bodies to eat and digest it.

Truths

Ice cold beverages and foods rev up your metabolism: It’s true, but the number of extra calories that you’ll burn are definitely not enough to burn off the damage done at Thirsty Thursday. Studies have suggested that drinking five to six glasses of ice cold water could help you burn an extra 10 calories per day. Not too exciting, but those calories could help you burn up to a pound a year without even trying!

Drinking water can help you burn more calories: Say it with me, “I LOVE WATER.” Seriously, you need it. And not just when you’re working out and not just when you’re hungover (or chugging water late-night to prevent a hangover). We all need water all the time! Getting enough water per day for your body weight helps to keep your metabolism, as well as all of your body’s other functions, running at full speed and maximum capability.

Dieting slows your metabolism: Yep! This one’s true, even if it seems counter-intuitive. For every pound you lose, your Basic Metabolic Rate (a fancy term for your metabolism) drops about 2 to 10 calories a day. So, if you manage to lose 10 pounds, you now have to eat 20 to 100 fewer calories per day.  Counteract this effect by gaining muscle as you lost weight; more muscle mass means a faster metabolism!

Protein speeds it up! Protein is far superior to fat or carbohydrates when it comes to your metabolism, because it requires more of your body’s energy (fat!) to digest!  Studies show that you may burn up to twice as many calories digesting protein as carbohydrates. To get enough protein per day, take one third of your body weight and convert it into grams. That’s about how much protein you need to eat to keep things running smoothly.

YOUR BURN MORE CALORIES WHEN YOU’RE PMSING!: I wanted to believe it, I prayed it was true…and it actually is! Pass the Oreos, please!! Yes, PMS cravings ARE related to the boost in your metabolism before your period. Your resting metabolic rate increases between ovulation and the first day of your period and can burn up to an extra 300 calories per day! Woohoo!

Eat well, and often: Though it seems a little backwards, eating balanced meals and snacks every 2-4 hours keeps your metabolism in high gear! This includes breakfast – eat it, people! Even a tablespoon of peanut butter is better than nothing. Breakfast gets your metabolism kick-started for the day and then you can keep it at maximum speed by eating small meals and snacks throughout the day.

Drink Some Coffee and Green Tea: This one’s tough because it is true, but like water, isn’t a huge metabolism booster. The caffeine in coffee will help you burn more calories after drinking it, but very few. Green Tea, which contains a substance called EGCG (epigallocatechin gallate), may also help you burn more calories, but so few that any weight loss effects are almost impossible to detect.

Lift! For every pound of muscle in you, your body burns 35 calories per day. The body burns just 2 calories for each pound of fat. Conclusion? Weight train!! Increased muscle mass and density will lead to an increase in calories burned because the muscle takes more energy to maintain than the fat. This means that even when at rest you will be burning more calories! (Here are some great exercises that you can do just about anywhere!)

Some Like It Hot: Some studies have shown that hot pepper and very, VERY spicy foods can raise metabolic rates by about 20% up to 30 minutes after a meal. If burning your mouth, turning red, dealing with heartburn and sweating are worth it to you, go for it! But if you’re willing to put in that much work, why not just hit the gym instead?

Good to the last...gallon.

[Life isn’t black and white. As much as we wish we simply loved or hated things, there is often that whole annoying gray area in the middle. Like how we love American Apparel basics, but aren't so sure about the gold lame... Or how we love staying on campus all summer, but just aren't so sure we wanna be in the classroom. Damn you, gray area; you make decision-making that much more complicated!]

“One venti double chocolate chip skinny white mocha frappuccino with a single shot of espresso, half whip, skim milk, sugar-free caramel syrup, shaken not stirred.”

Does that sound like you? I, like so many people I know, can’t function without a big mug of Joe in the morning (and one in the afternoon). My eyes won’t even open until the heavenly scent of coffee hits my olfactory glands. Yes, I even grab one on the way to the gym. It’s not my fault – I’ve been conditioned by our go, go, go and caffeine-obsessed culture. But I wonder: is that (extra large) cup of energy-charged caffeine really good for me?

Love It
I admit it: I’m a caffeine addict. Coffee, tea, diet soda, you name it, I drink it. I have many reasons for my addiction, reasons I use to combat the imaginary little guy on my shoulder that tells me all this caffeine is not all that good for me:

Coffee reduces the risk of disease, improves your performance, and even has a few antioxidants in those heavenly beans. Tea has even more health benefits: it fights cancer, lowers cholesterol, strengthens your immune system, and has an amazing amount of EGCG. Some scientists even believe green tea can speed up weight loss. And when you need a fiz fix, there’s nothing like a can of ice-cold Diet Coke. And what about those late-nighters that seem like a college requirement at times? It’s why I currently have 3 cans of Red Bull in my fridge (originally a pack of 4). I mean, I always drink at least 8 cups of water to keep my body happy, but sometimes water just doesn’t cut it.  It doesn’t wake you up like coffee does, doesn’t provide as many health benefits as tea, and isn’t as fun to drink in a little cafe with your friends while you catch up on the weekend’s happenings. So be quiet, imaginary little anti-caffeine man and let me enjoy my caffeine in peace.

Loathe It
There’s a reason why humans are only supposed to consume under 300 mg of caffeine daily, which is equivalent to about 3 cups of coffee. (And I’m talking actual cups, not those giant venti things I’ve been walking around with.) Too much can cause twitching, an increased heart rate, tremors, upset stomachs, anxiety, and insomnia. Since caffeine is a diuretic, it can also lead to calcium loss which can ultimately lead to reduced bone mass and even ostereoporosis. Not to mention, too much caffeine leads to frequent trips to the bathroom (I don’t know about you, but this is why I never drink before long trips). Dark caffeinated beverages like coffee and Coke also stains your teeth and make your once-pearly whites not so white or pearly anymore.

I love my caffeine and could never give it up (just…can’t…do it….), but I do try to limit my intake so I don’t become too jittery and high-strung. And I’m working more milk into my diet to offset the calcium loss. And I’m brushing my teeth more often. And I’m….well, I’m doing anything to keep from breaking up with my Starbucks barista.

What about you? Are you trying to decrease your consumption as well? Or will you still make your (twice) daily latte runs?

As an Asian, I’m unable to fully understand how many Americans can’t use chopsticks. Especially my friends. I thought I’d rubbed off on them enough to take them to a local Chinese fast-food place this past weekend. Guess not.

“How can people use two little wooden sticks to eat food?!” <Looks at the food. Looks at the chopsticks. Wipes hands then digs in. With hands.>

“Is this why Chinese people are so skinny?” <Does several frantic scooping motions with the chopsticks, ultimately picking up one grain of rice.>

“I’m too hungry for this! I give up.” <Throws one chopstick on the table and proceeds to stab the chicken and veggies with the other. Makes chicken kebab.>

(All of this while the group of Asians a table over looks at us in distaste. And silently condemns me for not teaching them the sacred Chinese tradition.)

Well, this doesn’t have to be you! After you make these awesome rubber-band chopsticks, you’ll never face disgrace at Panda Express again.

Materials

1 pair of paper-sleeved chopsticks (the kind you get at fast-food joints)
1 rubber-band (thin ones work better)

Steps

1) Remove the chopsticks from the paper sleeve and separate them into two sticks.
2) Take the paper sleeve and roll-and-fold from the bottom all the way up, until you’re left with a small rectangular shape.
3) Place the folded-up paper onto one stick about an inch from the top (the top is the thickest part) and place the other stick on top of the paper, so that the paper is sandwiched in the middle.
4) Take the rubber band and begin wrapping at the very top of the chopsticks above the paper.
5) Keep on wrapping the rubber band around the two now-intertwined chopsticks (how you wrap it isn’t really important, just make sure you keep wrapping until there’s no more slack)
6) You’re done! Since the paper creates a little leverage in the middle, you’re all ready to squeeze and eat like a real Asian.

Now that you are a chopstick pro, here are some recipes for you to test your new skills on!

Sweet and Sour Wontons

Szechuan Braised Meatballs

Shrimp Fried Rice

Chinese Chicken and Mushroom Lettuce Cups

Rice Congee

Ma Po Tofu

Green Tea Ice Cream

Oily Skin

First you need to confirm that you do, in fact, have oily skin. Most people have oily t-zones (that’s the forehead and nose area) but to have truly oily skin, your cheeks and chin will be oily too. If you have large visible pores, that’s another sign you fall into the oily category. So for you oily chicks – here’s a few things to pick up.

Murad Pomegranate Foaming Facial Cleanser ($25 sephora.com)

This fab cleanser dissolves dirt, makeup and most importantly – oil – in one easy step. Best of all, it won’t over-dry your skin. One pump of this cleanser leaves you feeling fresh and clean.

Clinique Dramtically Different Moisturizing Gel ($11.50 clinique.com)

This ultra light moisturizer is oil-free, so it won’t cause breakouts. It absorbs instantly so you can layer on more to get just the right amount of moisture. Perfect to replenish moisture if you are using acne treatments which can dry you out.

Boscia Green Tea Blotting Linens ($10 sephora.com)

These handy little papers are perfect for absorbing oil throughout the day. The best part is they are oil free. Believe it or not, most brands of blotting papers (i.e. Clean & Clear or Sephora Brand) actually have mineral oil in them! Defeat the purpose much? Stick with Boscia.

Dry Skin

You’ll know you have dry skin if you have flakiness is the cheek area and no visible pores on your t-zone. You might have dry patches if you are using an anti-acne treatment with salicylic acid or benzoyl peroxide (like Proactiv). That doesn’t mean you have dry skin – if you have frequent breakouts or large pores you don’t have dry skin. But for those flaky pore-less ladies who do, here are three superstar products to try.

Philosophy Purity Cleanser ($10 sephora.com)

This cleanser is perfect for dry sensitive skin. It dissolves dirt, makeup and deep-cleans pores without stripping your skin of its natural moisture.

Olay Complete Night Fortifying Cream ($15 in drugstores)

The best time to add much needed moisture is at night when your skin is naturally repairing itself. This night cream won’t clog pores but will replenish your skin’s moisture. The best part: it keeps working by preventing moisture loss the next day.

Clinique Moisture Sheer Tint SPF 15 ($27 clinique.com)

If you have dry skin, never miss a chance to add moisture! This sheer foundation provides just enough coverage to even out skintone and keeps your skin moisturized and protected throughout the day.

So those are the basics. If you still aren’t sure about your skin type, Clinique has a quick and easy survey to figure it out here.

I’m starting to think that there is some truth to the rule, “You are what you eat.” I think my muffin top would attest to that statement. In general, I stick to a healthy diet (of cupcakes), but when it comes time to crack the books I know that my typical eating habits will affect my scholastic performance. While I usually opt for a bag of M&Ms at the library, I now know that a giant bag of sugar is not the best thing to get me through the hours of cramming.

In contrast, there are foods out there that have been shown to improve memory retention and attention span. Read: The foods I should be eating. I am one who will do anything to pass an exam, even if it means eating my way to better grades. Because what could be better?

Eat? For better grades? Grad school may be for me after all.

When it comes to the basics, we all know the rules: “Don’t skip breakfast,” “Drink lots of water,” “An apple a day…blah, blah, blah.”But when it comes to college life, we need more than just a healthy diet – we need to feed our brains. So I’ve compiled a list of some snack foods to help our neurons rock and roll.

While there are a plethora of foods out there to give your brain a boost, not all are study-friendly. Salmon and eggs, for example, are great brain foods, but being the “smelly kid” has never been cool, so it’s not realistic to brown bag these snacks to munch on in your study groups. (However, these are fine foods to eat for breakfast or lunch before a big exam…alone in your apartment.)

A personal favorite study snack (which is perfect for winter exams) is hot chocolate. But not any hot chocolate: DARK hot chocolate. It is lower in calories than its milky brother, and has a moderate amount of caffeine to boot. Dark chocolate also has a suspiciously high amount of antioxidants (chocolate? good for you? I know!) and natural neural stimulants that increase blood flow and enhance your mood! This warm bevy will keep you alert and in a good mood, no matter how late you have to be in the ‘brary.

Speaking of drinks, green tea is known for being fabulous for our brain and body. My tastebuds never quite agreed (green tea tastes like dirt) until Arizona Tea came out with Blueberry Diet Green Tea. I’m not a fan of drinking my calories (unless the drink rhymes with “odka”), so I stick to this diet version (10 cals per serving). I bring one of these with me to the computer lab whenever I go and it definitely keeps my brain turned on. If Starbucks is more your style, try mixing 2 tea bags (like Orange & Spice with Green Tea) for a tasty brain beverage.

Perhaps you don’t believe me on the Blueberry Green Tea, but I think we all know that blueberries themselves are hella good. They are in season right now and are great for snacking (and dieting, if that’s your thing). Ounce for ounce, blueberries actually have a greater antioxidant capacity than most any other fruits or vegetables and contain 5 grams of fiber per cup! These are also perfect for eating in the library (some rules were just meant to be broken) – no one can hear you munch on them.

Note: If blueberries are not too accessible, Craisins are a good substitute. Dried berries last a long, long time (becuase, seriously, who has time to go to the freakin’ market?), so load up, refrigerate, and grab em whenever you need a little brain boost.

From my own experience, however, the olympian of brain-boosting foods are nuts. Almonds, in particular, are great for your general health, but cashews and walnuts are where I get my fix. Not only do these jewels contain healthy fats that stabalize your blood-sugar for hours, but nuts have been shown in recent studies to be associated with better memory retention and mood. Both very important things for a super long study sesh.

Truth be told, keeping your glucose levels afloat will have a similar affect on your GPA. Happy snacking!

All summer, everywhere I go, if it’s after 3pm, everyone is drinking beer. And, look, it’s not that I don’t like alcohol. I am a very big fan of wine. But if you drink wine while everyone is drinking beer, you suddenly become the butt of every joke. Which I totally get. But, I digress.

I don’t think the perfect summer drink is beer. I think it’s–wait for it, wait for it–TEA.

That’s right, tea. Don’t you know that drinking hot things cools you off, silly? Plus, tea is great for you and is very refreshing.

Here are some summer teas to help you cool off when everyone is making fun of you for shunning beer:

Chai Tea

Chai is the best of all tea worlds, if you ask me. It’s strong black tea with milk and sugar and spices. Delicious. Make it an iced chai and you’re set for the summer.

Thai Iced Tea

Spiced and sweet and, best of all, iced for your summer enjoyment.

Ginseng Green Tea

So high in antioxidants it’s kind of ridiculous. Plus, the ginseng helps keep you energized and alert (green tea naturally has less caffeine than black tea). Steer clear of the bottled Arizona kind, as delish as it is, to avoid excess sugar.

White Darjeeling Tea

White tea has even more antioxidants than green tea, and it’s low in caffeine so you can drink it at night when everyone else is drinking yucko beer around the campfire.

But, of course, if you absolutely need the caffeine (like I do), go for:

Keemun Tea

A black tea from China, keemun is deep and strong and strangely chocolatey (something I can always appreciate). It’s a black tea, so it’s fully caffeinated. So drink up, jitterbugs!

And if sweet and delicious is more your thing, try:

Bubble Tea

It has no nutritional value and it’s high in fat and it probably doesn’t have much caffeine, but it has squishy tapioca balls (sound gross but are great) and is so sweet and delicious, you must drink it all summer. And that’s an order, soldier!

So join me, friends, in the campaign of tea! Put down that high calorie beer and do your body a favor with summer tea. Summer tea! SUMMER TEAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

[Image courtesy of http://www.everythingcoffee-tea.com]

That, of course, is not an option. You are going to have to try something else to get you to the finish line. The good news is that there is another – much healthier – option: these natural and healthy snacks will nourish your noggin and get you to the end without breaking a mental sweat.

Green Tea: Research keeps popping up everywhere celebrating the magical effects of Green Tea. It is chock full of antioxidants and other great stuff that increase alertness, improve learning and relax the brain. Sigh. The stuff doesn’t always taste so great, but there are lots of fun new flavors coming out every day (I prefer blueberry pomegranate), so you can actually enjoy this typically icky green beverage.

Leafy Greens: Nothing goes better with studying than pizza, breadsticks, or anything fried. But that crap is not good for your body, or your brain. Stick to the dark, leafy green things, like spinach. The iron will help you concentrate and absorb all that stuff you highlighted all semester. Afraid of spinach? Throw some in an omelet, get a veggie sandwich or head to the nearest Greek diner-y place for a spinach pie. So good. Or, if you are absolutely, positively, never-gonna-eat-it grossed out by spinach, try a citrus fruit. The Vitamin C helps your body absorb iron faster, so these are also great options to feed the brain.

Power to the Purple: Don’t want to forget all those flashcards you memorized on American History from the Pilgrims to the Bush Administration? Stick to the purple stuff (grapes, berries, eggplant, etc.). Studies show that the stuff that makes these guys purple can help protect you from memory loss. (Ed: If only they could help me remember how I got this phone number scribbled on my inner thigh last night…)

Toss out the candy bars and coffee cans; it is time to brown-bag it at the library. And bring some extra to share,

Three day grapefruit fasts, weeklong juice regimes, monthly cleanses, I’ve heard them all, and haven’t wanted to try a single one.

Call me strange, but I’m a fan of food. I’m no holy profit or international peace symbol, and since shrugging off my Roman Catholicism, feel no guilt for eating a sandwich on Good Friday. Basically, I have no need to give up food I work two jobs to pay for.

My friends go on and on about the health benefits of fasting, but I’ve always felt eating a regular healthy diet has it’s own health benefits—with the added incentive of energy.

While I totally respect and appreciate people who abstain from food for religious reasons, I’ve just never been the kind of girl to equate being hungry with being healthy.

That was until I realized a good friend of mine, who is completely normal and well adjusted in every way, regularly fasted on Sundays.

“All I drink is green tea” she told me a few weeks ago when I asked her why she wasn’t joining me for lunch, and explained that flushing out her body and relaxing once a week was one of the best things she’d ever done for herself.

While my friend is on the thin side, she watches her weight very closely, and explained that giving her body one day a week to “get rid of toxins” in a simple, easy way has really helped her maintain her weight.

The health benefits to a one-day fast seem to be there, and if a person does it correctly, there doesn’t seem to be anything dangerous about it. The key to one-day fasting appears to be in the day before and day after; getting mentally prepared to gently coax your body into a fast, and keeping yourself from bingeing the day before or after. Splurging on food before fasting is not only counterproductive, it may also be a sign of a bad relationship with eating.

After listening to my friend talk and seeing how healthy she is on a day-to-day basis (never mind having the best skin I’ve ever seen in my life), I can’t help considering a Sunday green tea fest myself. After all, staying away from food for one day isn’t going to kill me, and the only way to test the advantages of a practice is to try it out.

I may just make next Sunday my official attempt at a Day Of No Food.

…I’ll let you know if I survive.

Plus this wonderful food comes in a variety of brightly hued packages with pictures of manically smiling pandas or kittens on the cover. Does it get any better than that? Not really.

But depending on where you are in this big old country of ours, the really obscure stuff can be impossible to find. All grocery stores have ramen, but do all of them have Hello Kitty Chocolate Dip Biscuits? That’s where Asian Food Grocer, your one-stop-online-shop for everything edible and Asian, comes in. Trust me, you will completely fall in love with this site if you’re even remotely predisposed to this type of noshing.

First of all, you’re going to need a pair of chopsticks. Sure you can get by on the shitty ones they give you in restaurants but they tend to warp, get splinters in your food, and just aren’t stylish. I love these aqua pearl chopsticks and with each pair under $3, you can afford to get them in a couple of different colors.

As for what you’re going to use your new sticks on, sure we’ve all had ramen. But you haven’t had ramen until you’ve had Nong Shim Shin Ramyun. The noodles are thicker, the broth has a spicy complex taste that is just delicious. You’ll never go back to the other stuff. Although it’s not quite as cheap, at 98 cents a package you can afford to stock up.

If you’re watching your sodium intake (which is such a good idea) you might want to try Miso soup. You have to watch out which kind you get though. There are different types of miso paste: shiro-miso is mild and low and salt, while aaka-miso is very salty which a strong smell. They’re both tasty when you add cubes of Tofu, sliced mushrooms, and green onions.

I’ve become completely addicted to these little Japanese pastries. They taste like heaven — especially when washed down with a little green tea. They’re fluffy, not too sweet, wheat cake pastries that come in flavors like Danish Swirl, Blueberry Jam, and Red Bean. I know it sounds a little nutso, but red bean is one of my favorite flavors. You have to try it to understand how a flavor like red bean could be so damn good.

You know that delicious hot sauce on the table of Chinese restaurants that’s so good with dumplings? You better believe you can get it on this site. Plus, it makes all food so much better. It’s spicy, but without the vinegar taste you get with Tabasco. It’s a must have for any college kitchen. Plus, if you add flavor to your food with low-calorie flavoring like this Huy Fong Sriracha Sauce I was just raving about, you’ll be more satisfied and less likely to over-eat. True story.

Now you’re going to need to wash down that spicy sauce with something to drink. That’s where Sencha Green Tea comes in. Green tea is fabulous for your waistline and unlike a lot of things (Trimspa Baby!) it’s actually been proven by scientists. So pick up a couple of boxes of green tea, it’s the good stuff.

Well, as for me I’m throwing a red bean pastry in my purse and heading out for a night of drinking. Why the snack to go? As we all know, heavy drinking can work up an appetite for drunk food. Well at this little school of mine, they’ve decided that rather than trying to get us to stop getting wasted all the time, they would, get this, give us “party packs”. At every frat party, around 1AM or so, about 20 cheese pizzas get delivered, on the college’s tab, to soak up the all the booze floating around in our stomachs.

Now party-packs may be the best thing that’s ever happened to this school or the worse thing because I swear everyone has gained at least five pounds since they implemented their master plan. The fratty types have been looking especially well fed recently, which doesn’t seem to stop them strutting around like they’re gracing everyone with their presence, beer + pizza guts giggling like a bowls of jelly underneath their green and white striped rubgy shirts.

Eh, what are you going to do besides pack yourself a red-bean cake and hope you can resist tempation (from the pizza not the strutting).