5. Monica Bellucci

If you have seen this woman, then I really don’t need to explain myself. In her mid-forties, she could kick almost any ingenue’s boney little ass with the sheer force of her heavy-lidded sexuality. She could probably snap Keira Knightley in half with a glance.

4. Kristen Bell

Usually I like my women with a little more meat on them, but Bell is just so damn cute and sassy that I can make an exception. She’s a master of comic timing, a self proclaimed “nerd”, and was named one of the world’s sexiest vegetarians in 2006. Also, Veronica Mars. Read More »

With Halloween coming up, it’s prime-time to watch a horror movie – but where? Are any movies worth watching in theaters this weekend? What’s new on DVD? Do drive-in theaters still exist?

No worries, moviegoer – these questions and more will be answered after the jump. Read More »

Last week I raved about Grindhouse in anticipation of what was supposed to be the step-mother of all movies. After throwing away 10 bucks and three hours of my life, my song sounds a bit different.

.1. Know everything about film? Your knowledge was wasted. Know nothing about film? Death Proof’s self-indulgence was irritating.

2. Dearth of MACHINE GUN LEG.

3. Gratuitous violence is especially lame when it’s not gratuitous at all.

4. You can lose with a film that is genre-classified as Action / Crime / Horror / Sci-Fi / Thriller / Comedy, but is actually only half-Action, quarter-Comedy.

5. Fake trailer “Werewolf Women of the S.S.” directed by Rob Zombie was actually the weakest of all the faux previews.

Did Grindhouse live up to the hype?

Read More »

1. Know everything about film? Then this Quarantino/Rodriguez double-feature will satisfy your desire for auteur art.

Know nothing about film? Then this sex/violence double-feature will engage you enough to veil your ignorance.

2. MACHINE GUN LEG.

3. Gratuitous violence is especially awesome when spurting red corn syrup and paying homage to exploitation films.

4. You can’t lose with a film that is genre-classified as Action / Crime / Horror / Sci-Fi / Thriller / Comedy.

5. ZOMG! Fake trailer entitled “Werewolf Women of the S.S.” – directed by Rob Zombie!

6. Did I mention… MACHINE GUN LEG?

7. Rose McGowan + Rosario Dawson x Naveen Andrews = holy hotness.

8. Art imitates life when Fergie plays a lesbian.

9. Killer death cars are the new black.

10. Planet Terror plot: Biochemical weapon infects a town – turning its citizens into flesh-eating zombies – and it can only be saved by a vigilante Go-Go dancer.

There’s been a lot of buzz lately over the upcoming movie “Grindhouse.” I know it’s like, a guy movie and all, but I gotta say, it looks kind of cool. Quentin Tarantino’s “Pulp Fiction” and “Kill Bill” films were pretty good, and although I haven’t seen Robert Rodriguez’ “Sin City” or “The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D” yet, I hear they rocked the $@%. Well, that’s what I heard about “Sin City” anyway.

Plus, Rose McGowan has a gun for a leg in “Grindhouse.” And that would be sweet!

After the anticipation, PageSix just reported that the flick finally has a rating. Instead of NC-17, (there was supposed to be one scene where a guy get his head gets chopped off while his girlfriend gives him a blow job, but that was cut) now it’s just rated R. Lame-O.

Either way, it’s still very college-age appropriate, and it still looks like a good movie. Not a girls’ night out movie in which you all paint your nails and gossip about the cute actors afterwards kind of movie. But a movie in which, if a guy asks you on a date, you could say, “Let’s go check out ‘Grindhouse,’” and you’d not only enjoy it, but he’d think you were cooler than a girl with a gun for a leg.

“Grindhouse” opens April 6, 2007.

Check out the trailer: