Ah, middle school dances. Remember those? Middle school was a time filled with girls who like boys but are taller than them and boys who like girls but are suffering through that awkward I might-be-going-through-puberty-soon stage. A time for “do you like me? check yes or no” notes, relentless bullying as a sign of flirtation, and teachers who are more in tuned with the adolescent gossip than the actual students are. So when you bring all of these elements together for a school dance: the awkward meter skyrockets! As we take a trip down memory lane, let us remember those crucial ingredients needed to concoct the perfect middle school dance.

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I wish someone would have taken that bottle of cran away...

I’d consider myself a seasoned formal veteran. As such, I have acquired a bit of wisdom as far as formal do’s and dont’s. Whether you are a freshman going to formals for the first time or even a senior not affiliated in the Greek circuit, I have chosen a recent and epic failure at Greek formal-ing that will hopefully teach you from my mistakes… or at least give you a good laugh.

The Blind Date

Blind dates are quite common in the formal world. Twice now I have agreed to help out a friend of a friend who “just can’t get a date.” This would be the red flag for most girls – why on earth can’t this dude nab a date?! -  but I, blinded by naivete and the prospect of free food and drinks, always acquiesce. My second transgression was just a few weeks ago. We get to the place, which happened to be a $30 cab ride away, making my chances of leaving slim to hitchhiking. We pre-gamed in a hotel room, where my date doted on me. And by “doted,” I mean basically poured booze down my throat. I even started pouring drinks down the drain out of fear of being too drunk around strangers. (Go me!)

We get to the formal and since he planned it, he left me every 5 minutes to “take care of things.” He couldn’t get me a wristband for whatever reason but brought me a flask of vodka (red flag #2). I decided to have a little chat with him about expectations, which was me conveying my disinterest in anything but “cutesy dancing” and eating and drinking. As well as I thought that went, when we got to the dance floor it was obvious that “cutesy dancing” did not register on his radar, or that maybe he thought grinding me against a wall was cute. Read More »

After four outfit changes, 3 drinks and two near faceplants on the sidewalk (thank you, heels), you finally make it to the party. You’ve got a good buzz going, and an even greater cleavage situation thanks to Victoria and her secrets.

You push your way through the throngs of people, looking for some booze your friends. You stop and do the “Heeyyyyy!” with some people you know along the way, but keep things moving in the direction of the keg calling your name in the corner of the kitchen.

You grab a cup (of the red Solo variety) and get in line. The guy ahead of you is filling three cups – and also happens to be quite attractive – so you offer to help him out a bit. Soon you’re pumping the tap as he fills his cups, sharing a laugh at the drunk girl grinding against the fridge’s expense. He waits with you while you fill your own cup, then the two of you walk together into the living room where his friends are. Read More »

[One of the greatest aspects of college life is the morning-after recap with friends. You stumble out of bed, grab your liquid of choice, and gather around the living room to replay (and remind yourself of) the events of last night. You laugh, you cringe and you share the highest of highs...and the rock-bottom lowest of lows. We thought we'd bring the fun of the recap to CollegeCandy, so grab that coffee and take part in the deliciously awkward moments your CC friends have to share.]

We’ve all seen how boys act when they want to make out with you at a club. First, they come up behind you and begin to dance. Maybe you introduce yourselves, maybe you don’t. If they are a good dancer, you continue dancing, and if they suck, you text your friend that you have to go to the bathroom and she comes and pretends that she has to use the facilities at that exact second.

However, if you have decided that this guy is worth your dancing time, about five-ten minutes into the encounter (2-4 songs) he will likely turn you around so that it is only natural that your faces are near each other, therefore giving him the opportunity to make out with you. Read More »