Like this game, which, unlike Guitar Hero, teaches boys an actually useful skill: pleasuring a woman.

Giving this is a gift is a total win/win. Your guy – who is obsessed with video games – gets a new toy to play with and a girlfriend who encourages him to do so. You get some much needed satisfaction in the bedroom.

Ok, so it’s not real, but how amazing would it be if it were? Just imagine coming home from class to find your guy and his friends playing in the living room; who cares if he just wasted six hours playing the game? He’s practicing for you! And instead of some dumb game where he lives out his fantasies of being a rock star, your man would be spending his time practicing a skill that is actually necessary in his day to day life!

Guys need some help when it comes to our nether regions; guiding them doesn’t seem to work and watching porn just makes everything worse. An instructional (and entertaining) video game seems like the best solution. This is definitely on my wish list this season.

Q

A: I’m sure many people would tell you that “honesty is the best policy,” and I agree…most of the time.

But hearing “I’ve been faking it” is tough to hear–and I should know, because I told an ex-boyfriend just that in a fit of post-breakup rage (I know). Sure, saying it out of anger is different than saying it because you’re ready to be honest about your needs and satisfaction–but if you’re planning on staying with him and working on your sexual relationship, I think there are better ways to work on that relationship than dealing him a low blow to the ego like that.

If you can get things on the right track without hurting him, why not do that?

Think about it, if he told you he’s been faking it for the past year (yes, guys can fake it!), would you be able to brush it off and jump in the saddle (so to speak) to start fresh? If it were me, I’d have a hell of a hard time feeling up for another roll in the hay.

But all is not lost. First thing’s first: stop faking. Not next week, not when it starts getting better, but now. Tonight. He won’t start doing the things that push your buttons if he thinks you’re into things you really could do without.

But there’s good news. If you’re truly thrilled with his performance 25% of the time, that means he’s doing something right. It’s time to be encouraging–very encouraging–when he does something you like. No need to scream like a porn star, but make sure (in your own way) that his moves don’t go unnoticed. Even if you’re on the quiet side in bed, an extra “mmm” or even a direct “I like that” will be noticed and noted by him.

While you’re consistently encouraging the good moves, you should also be subtly discouraging the not-so-good ones. Does he need to go faster, slower, a little to the left? No need for a Powerpoint presentation. Say it like an order in the heat of the moment while you’re in bed, and he’ll be happy to oblige.

What if the problem is more of the “he’s waaaay off” variety? Remember all the good stuff he was doing? Ask for more of that when he’s veering off course–a “do that thing I like” should do the trick. Feeling tongue-tied? Just grab his hand and put it where you want it.

What it comes down to is that this guy wants to please you, and you want to be pleased—so whichever way you say it, whether you use my suggestions or tell him upfront that you’ve been faking, the point is to just say it. You deserve to feel satisfied more than just once in a while–and the both of you will be happier once that happens.

Got a question for Pillow Talk? Email pillow.talk.cc@gmail.com and we’ll tackle your question next! Or join our CollegeCandy Facebook group and post your question there!

Photo courtesy of caylawonderful via Flickr.

The picture you have just witnessed is not a reenactment. It’s an actual shot, taken by my equally-disturbed friend, of a comment made by a professor on an assignment of mine.

…Excuse me?

But the trauma doesn’t end there.

I obviously set the picture as my default on Facebook, and then two days later received a friend request from the teacher.

Wait, I’m sorry–WHAT?!

Since this unfortunately isn’t the first time I’ve encountered either problem, it’s subsequently been the last straw. The way I see it, there are two major problems in this situation:

1) If, in my papers, I’m not writing “haha” after a witty comment, or “OMG!” following a shocking statistic, the professor has no right to use Internet jargon in his or her grading. It’s college, and there needs to be some sort of reciprocated academic professionalism.

2) Professors and their current students should not be Facebook friends. Not only does it break down the fourth wall, it seriously messes up the dynamic of the student-teacher relationship. Facebook and MySpace are web sites I will post ramblings about my day and pictures from my weekend–things that have no relation to my class or relevance to my professor.

On the other hand, what if I want to post something about the class or–gulp–teacher? I should have the freedom to do so. Our social networking site profiles serve as our virtual bedrooms, and I certainly wouldn’t have a professor over to hang out while I’m still enrolled in his or her class. Are you kidding me?

I’m all for forming personal relationships with professors in an academic setting–for guidance and those glowing recommendation letters. But if I add my professor on Facebook, I run the risk of opening a door that should be locked forever (or at least the rest of the semester!). She’ll have the opportunity to form an opinion of me based on non-classroom factors she shouldn’t even have access to.

If I don’t add her back, what if she holds it against me when grading? I know it’s against the ol’ legal rules to do that, but the same way that a teacher who likes you personally may grade a tad bit easier, a professor with a personal vengeance against you–who was denied entrance and acceptance into your world–could easily mark off an extra point or two.

If we wanted to communicate with our professors on the Internet, we’d their e-mails.

So to all professors ready to send some friend requests in our direction: stay away from “Our Space” and we’ll stay away from yours, LOL!

[Photo credit Chelsea London Phillips]