Lesson #41 – Get Over Guilt

Not a day goes by that there isn’t something that triggers a pang of guilt in my life. If it’s not my mother telling me to eat more because there are starving children in India (true, but I don’t see you wrapping up the leftovers and sending it to them), then it’s my accounting textbook staring me down, practically scolding me for having yet to crack it open for my test that week. There’s just something about being a girl that makes us unreasonably prone to feeling guilty at any point.

As one of the only single girls in my group of friends, I constantly feel this guilt to go on blind dates that my friends set up for me as they do their best to sell each guy with disclaimers like, “I don’t know him that well, but I know he’s perfect for you.” Well, as promising as that sounds, I’ve taken enough shots in the dark to know they are usually wrong about these guys and yet I cant find it in myself to say no without feeling a world of guilt. Read More »

Friend: I have to tell you something.
You: I know, I love The Real Housewives of Atlanta, too.
Friend: No, well yes, but that’s not it. You have to promise not to say anything, okay? Promise?
You: Well, yeah obvi. Your secret is safe with me.
Friend: I hooked up with Alex last night.

Okay, so here’s the problem: Alex isn’t just some guy. Alex is the guy with whom your friend is cheating (well this is the second time) on her boyfriend. Bigger problem: you happen to be really good friends with boyfriend boy.

Oy.

So, what do you do? How do you deal? Should you smack some sense into her? Pause, breathe and listen up. There is a right way and a wrong way to deal with this sticky sitch and, just so you know, leaving a handprint on her cheek is definitely the wrong way. Read More »

If you’re in a first serious relationship like I am, there are a lot of questions and doubts swirling around. Part of you wants to hold back emotionally because, after all, this is the first time, and it’s rare to strike gold the first time you go digging. But you are so happy and in love and you just know this is a biggie.

But what does that mean? And how do we navigate the rocky waters of a serious relationship? The only guides we have are cheesy sitcoms. Do we actually need to exchange letter sweaters? Make a fuss on the six-month anniversary? Spend every waking moment together, or have our own time? Talk about every little detail of our childhoods? Can we disagree on something big and still be happy together?

It can be a difficult job to sift through what expectations to set in a healthy, supportive relationship. The important thing, however, is to do just that and have a clear idea of what your expectations are. If you’re expecting flowers every week but the significant other doesn’t believe in giving gifts, someone’s going to get their feelings hurt. Or if going out with friends of the opposite sex is upsetting for one person but not the other, some ground rules should be set. Living the monogamous life has plenty of pitfalls, but the smart, communicative couple can avoid most of them. Read More »

DeAnna took the remaining three fellas on a date to the Bahamas. If the boys couldn’t cut loose, enjoy themselves, and win her over in a tropical locale, then there was no hope for ‘em.Jeremy went first. Poor Jer. Stiff, unfunny, a hopeless romantic who’s almost too right for DeAnna. Their date was lackluster. The only thing I wrote down in my notes while I watched was: Grand Bahama Island (the name of the resort) and “Burgers for dinner?” If my mind wandered, DeAnna’s must have too.

My main man Jason turned everything around. He made DeAnna laugh, and insisted on not boring her with talk about his kid. They smiled, and unlike the other two dates, both of them seem like better, more fulfilled people when they’re together.

And then there’s the wild card: Jesse. Who knew he would last this long? The two of them rode horses on the beach. Then he finally put the humorous side away and asked DeAnna some tough questions about how their lives would merge should they get married. Kids, commuting to Colorado, the works. Read More »