The cat’s been out of the bag for several days now; “GIRLS” has arrived, and it’s probably the most disappointing debut of a show in recent memory. It’s a wasted premise on a group of, as of now, uninteresting characters, that lacks a strong immediate conflict, and appeals to a narrow audience.

Women in their mid-20’s, in this country, in this economy, don’t have the kind of grounded representation in entertainment the way they need to. This is a ripe market that’s desperate for content. And here it is, “GIRLS,” or as a friend of mine brilliantly renamed it “Vacuous, Socially Awkward, Privileged White People Who Find Themselves Interesting But Are Unable To Stop Talking In A Fake New York City, Devoid of Real Conflict.”

I don’t mind unsympathetic characters. I kind of prefer them. They’re meatier. And this show has a fantastic premise that does represent a lot of people, men and women, in their mid-20’s, who are mooching off their family, who do lack work ethic, who are going to be the first generation of Americans in the history of the country to have a lower standard of living than their parents. That’s a story that hasn’t yet been captured. We’re living in a society that’s not yet had the kind of lens on television that illustrates the enormity of the crisis and allows all of us to relate to the severity of it. “GIRLS” could have been that, instead it’s a mediocre in-joke, at best, and at worst it’s an alienation of what it’s trying to represent.

People have hailed this thing as the next great American television show, but let’s look at the facts: Its debut was modest. 1.1 million viewers across 2 airings. It lost more than a third of its lead-in audience from “Eastbound & Down” and “Game of Thrones” pulls in over 4 million viewers every Sunday night.

The entire show has the feel of someone having lunch and thinking, “Hey, let’s make a show about us.” I could even imagine it happening over the course of the “dinner party” scene in this past week’s pilot. And that’s fine if you’re a film student, but not if you’re getting the Judd Apatow stamp of approval and a major HBO premiere.

Let’s go even further. Let’s take away the demographics and ratings and focus on the quality of the show itself:

The girls: First of all, kudos to putting on a female show full of women who look like real women. Gold star.

The inciting incident: After 2 years a mid-20’s girl with no direction in life is cut off from her parents and has to enter the real world without a safety net. FANTASTIC!

The pacing: Off (note the opening dinner scene that dragged on for too many jokes and reaction shots, or the “good angel vs. bad angel” scene in the bedroom with our protagonist high on opium). The shooting style is reminiscent of Wes Anderson’s work, but misses the tone and the fact that Anderson is painting a world that’s not quite like our own, whereas this show is trying too hard to be naturalistic.

The acting: Flat as a board with the exception, maybe, of a couple nice moments from Allison Williams.

The humor (it’s billed as a comedy after all): You can literally notice a beat after every joke as if they’re waiting for a laugh track “I may be the voice of my generation. Or a voice of a generation.” [pause for laughter]

It’s failing on the basic levels of storytelling in a visual medium. It’s not necessarily a bad cast and it’s a phenomenal idea, but the execution is supremely disappointing. The jokes are stilted, one of my favorite exchanges was the oh-so-clever: “I’m not on Facebook.” “You’re so classy.” [pause for laughter] Because no one’s made jokes about Facebook with such biting wit since, oh right, The Social Network! The drama’s muted, as evidenced by the blink-and-miss-it preggers revelation by the foreign cousin while squatting on the toilet, and the look of the show is bland as f*ck, as evidenced by the hipster actor’s apartment (Sooooo much brown…).

And you know what? It’s going to get renewed. HBO doesn’t have a high bar when it comes to viewership and they’d have a major hole in their programming. Too much money’s been invested. Unless a horse dies on set of course. The main reason it will get picked up for a second season is because the masses DON’T have a show like this on television. And in a starving marketplace, the consumer will buy the single option available. “GIRLS” may end up being THE representative of a generation of women, but by default.

One Viewer’s Opinion,

The Dude

It is my senior year in college.  I’m 22 years old.  I have never been to Mexico.  And the swimsuit wall in The Buckle makes me want to drool all over myself.  Basically, Spring Break are the two words in my personal college dictionary that make me so giddy, it is embarrassing.

And the fact that I’m not going this year?  I’m not a very good actor, but I could almost pinch out a few legitimate tears.  You mean I have to continue to struggle up mini-snow mountain regions, and continue to suffocate under the restraints of my wool scarf?

Clearly, there are plenty of reasons for me to be bitter about my lack o’ travels this Spring Break but, I am deciding to look the bright side for a change. Sweating poolside under the shade of an US Weekly magazine or not, I’m going to make the best out of my Spring Break, and  – turns out – it is easier than I thought because you can:

1. Finally catch up on all of those books you’ve been reading (or not reading).

College is so stressful, sometimes I find myself being stressed out about the weekly T.V. shows I am trying to catch up on.  It is time to sit down and freakin’ relax. I know I have about five books I’m currently trying to read at the same time, and nothing strains my stress greater than a quality read. So kick those feet back, flip on the fireplace switch, and get reading.

2. Think of all the moo-lah you are saving!? You can spend a (small) portion on a facial. Why not?

Deciding (or being forced against your will) to not attend Spring Break just made you ten times richer.  Don’t get me wrong, in the midst of running to class and cursing the cold-I would give my left leg to catch a flight to Margaritaville.  But on the other hand, you have a lot more breathing room when it comes to the dough. Go spend a little bit of it on a facial, or for the construction of a new iTunes playlist (whatever it may be). Read More »

What....a dreamboat

Every once in a while (okay, maybe a little more often than that) I find myself adopting a new guilty pleasure. For a while I watched Hannah Montana on a regular basis, then came my Espresso truffle phase where I down one at Starbucks almost everyday under the pretense that if I finished it in 2 minutes the calories didn’t count. And I never seemed to shake the Spice Girls; if “Wannabe” comes on, an air mic, head bangs and some karaoke rapping will follow.

But recently a new contender has quickly moved to the top of guilty pleasure list.

Move over Miley Cyrus – Justin Beiber is my new tweenstar obsession. And boy am I feelin’ guilty right about now.

The kid is 15, but he looks about 12 and half. He’s got no body hair, he will still be mistaken for a little girl over the phone, and I honestly doubt the boy has even had an erection. But that hasn’t stopped him from releasing a CD full of romantic love songs, as if he has had 15 agonizing years of offering girls rides on his tricycle only to have them run off and play with another kid in he sandbox.

As wrong as it is, I just can’t seem to resist his sweet raspy voice and catchy beats. When his songs come on the radio I have a moment of reason: “You will change the station now, there is no way that belting out ‘One Time’ is socially acceptable.” Then I tell reason to shut-it, turn the volume to max and belt that baby like there’s no tomorrow. Read More »

So as I spent another long summer day mourning the loss of LC from my biggest guilty pleasure (yeah, I’m still not over it), a promo for a new MTV show, House of Jazmin, caught my eye. I don’t really get the spelling of her name, but Jaz is young, cute, and bound to have messy, dramatic hookups every week…

It’s no LC, but can Jazmin be the new reality superstar sent to fill the void The Hills has left in my heart?

Maybe we should first establish the fact that no one will ever be able to fill the very chic shoes of Lauren Conrad. As a reality star, she was God. Not too much of a pushover, but not too catty. A serial dater, providing endless opportunities for me to indulge my monogamous self in first date after first date with sexy, California men. And she chose perfect friends, as they gave her loyal friendship for just long enough to have me invested in the relationship… before completely betraying her and shattering both of our hearts.

I think you get the picture; I was basically living an imaginary life as Lauren Conrad’s best friend. (Cry during the Audrina/ LC fight scene with mascara tears…me? Noooo…) Read More »

This week might be the most random mix of reviews ever. Seriously, ever. I even surprised myself a bit.

I was ready to love who I already loved and hate who I wanted to hate, but that’s not at all what happened. The one album I was most excited for fell flat. And the one I barely even wanted to listen to (and would rather throw out my window) I kinda liked. A little too much. To the point where I had to force myself to turn it off.

I’m going to warn you right now: don’t listen to Ashley Tisdale if you aren’t into Disney pop music. Because you’ll probably end up enjoying it. And then feeling pretty embarrassed. Especially when you can’t get enough and want to blast it from your car and the people who pull up next to you can hear it…and judge you. Read More »

Project Runway is on!

Celebrities on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?“

Lookin’ for love? This guy’s single.

What are women’s biggest guilty pleasures?

Lindsay and Sam are dunzo. For now.

Brad Pitt storms out on Angie…according to the Enquirer.

Perusing College Candy’s fancy new cyber-digs this morning, I stumbled on this article, that I somehow missed the first time around. This article and its attendant comments cracked me up, and got me thinking about, of all things, a certain TV show you may have heard of. Ever seen the Sex and the City episode where Carrie admits that when she’s alone, she likes to stand at the kitchen counter eating crackers with jelly on them and reading Vogue, or something like that? And labeled it “secret single behavior’?

I am no devotee of SATC, but I thought that phrase was pretty genius, and started to think about the things I do when I’m totally, gloriously alone.

Now that we’re in the phase of life where living with roommates and/or significant others is par for the course, I find myself missing the weirdest things from time to time. Singing is a big one for me. Singing along to entire musical soundtracks or pop albums or whatever suits my fancy – and I mean headphones-in, top-of-my-lungs singing – while I re-organize my closet for the zillionth time and leave the rest of my room a mess.

Oooooh, or eating a plateful of random, unrelated finger/snack foods for dinner, like cheese with crackers and olives and slices of avocado and frozen spring rolls and Oreo cookies and probably an enormous bottle of coke zero (or wine, depending on the day). Eaten while sitting on the floor and watching Veronica Mars on DVD.  The list goes on. Read More »

Like most college kids, I’m a big fan of pizza. It’s great for a movie night with the girls or as a post-partying 2AM snack. While I love the stuff, I’m tired of feeling guilty about eating it. Good news: I don’t have to and neither do you!

Last year in my Intro to Nutrition Class I learned a little secret: pizza doesn’t have to be a guilty pleasure. Now, I am not telling you to go on an all pizza diet. But, like most things, if you make good pizza choices, it is totally fine to enjoy in moderation. And letting yourself have it means you won’t feel deprived and go crazy (read: eat 12 pieces) when it’s put in front of you.

Here’s what you need to know:

1) Thin crust is best- Always go with thin crust over deep dish or pan. It has fewer calories, less fat and is deliciously crunchy!

2) If possible, go whole grain- My dining hall always offers a whole grain crust option. Although I was initially scared of the darker, healthier crust, I actually really like it. Don’t have whole grain pizza in your d-hall? Order in! Pizza chains like Domino’s and Papa John’s are now offering this healthier option. Read More »

Obvi, we love The Hills around here. We don’t really want to admit it, but when we heard the rumor that LC might be leaving the show we may or may not have (okay, so we definitely did) taken a moment of silence for the passing of our favorite guilty pleasure.

And then we found this. A silver lining. A glimmer of hope. A Kooba bag in the sale bin.

It is The Hills, only funnier (or funny at all). The script is the same, the scenes are the same, but the character is…well, see for yourself. This video gave us a little chuckle, so we hope you enjoy it too. And who knows? Maybe MTV could swap this guy in if LC does indeed decide to walk.

Who needs good grades when you can impress your friends and family by quoting movies instead? Not me, that’s for sure. Throwing those textbooks out the window does present a sticky situation, though… so many movies, so little time. Luckily, I’m here to break it down for you by presenting the best 5 movies to watch instead of studying.

5. When Harry Met Sally.

Seriously, who doesn’t love this movie? I bet it was a super-smash hit when it first came out, but it’s now a super-smash source of entertainment that’s run on cable all the time. As we all know, free movies are better than costly movies, so record this one and pop it in anytime you feel kinda sorta like NOT doing that physics assignment.

4. 10 Things I Hate About You.

A Heath Ledger tribute is always justified, and this movie is a great excuse to do one right. It’s also a good party movie because almost everyone likes it, and even some guys can be coerced into watching it. Read More »