This week might be the most random mix of reviews ever. Seriously, ever. I even surprised myself a bit.

I was ready to love who I already loved and hate who I wanted to hate, but that’s not at all what happened. The one album I was most excited for fell flat. And the one I barely even wanted to listen to (and would rather throw out my window) I kinda liked. A little too much. To the point where I had to force myself to turn it off.

I’m going to warn you right now: don’t listen to Ashley Tisdale if you aren’t into Disney pop music. Because you’ll probably end up enjoying it. And then feeling pretty embarrassed. Especially when you can’t get enough and want to blast it from your car and the people who pull up next to you can hear it…and judge you.

Modest Mouse- No One’s First and You’re Next

If there was an award for best album title’s ever (is there??), modest Mouse would win by a long-shot. With album names like Good News for People Who Love Bad News, This is a Long Drive for Someone With Nothing to Think About, and Building Something Out of Nothing, Modest Mouse’s new album certainly fits in with their trend of awesome names. It’s called No One’s First and You’re Next and I’ve already played it about 50 million times. I always refer to Modest Mouse as an acquired taste; a band you might hate the first time you hear them. I know I tried to like them at first, but just couldn’t. And then one day I heard “Float On” and I sort of fell in love. And now, the first time I heard this new album, I loved it, solidifying in my mind that I am now a true Modest Mouse fan.

The album is actually a collection of previously released B-side and A-side tracks, but since I’m not a crazy obsessed Modest Mouse fan (yet), I haven’t heard any of them. It’s kind of a big jumble of music and you can tell it’s an EP, rather than being a full album. But I kind of like that. I can’t even pick a favorite song, but I have to say I absolutely love the build up that “The Whale Song” brings and can’t help but wonder if the lyrics are referencing Modest Mouse’s launch into fame and desire to go back to the way it was. Other definite listen-tos? “Satellite Skin” and “Autumn Beds,” but I really do enjoy the whole album. And I sincerely wish it was much longer than 8 tracks.

Howling Bells- Radio Wars

Howling Bells was completely new to me this week. I thought I would like them more than I actually do, mostly because I heard they’ve played along with bands that I adore, like The Killers, Coldplay, and Snow Patrol. And I’m not saying I don’t like them, – I’m just saying  they were a little too “whiney girls singing” for my tastes.

I do kind of like “It Ain’t You” because it seemed to be pretty happy and upbeat. Maybe the only the only happy and upbeat sound on the whole album. I also enjoyed “Nightingale,” because I love the clapping in the background, making it probably the most interesting song of all. I found “Let’s Be Kids Again” to be a bit blah, but I did kinda, sorta love the lyrics: “Let’s be kids again/Life was so simple then/Let’s be kids again…We don’t wanna know about this currency/We don’t wanna know about this 9-5/Just a simple life/Can you picture this/We don’t wanna hear about your policies/We don’t wanna live up to these expectations/A childlike dreal/Yeah you know what I mean.” Ok, so they totally get what I’m feelin’ right now…but I’m just not sure I want them to sing to me about it.

Ashley Tisdale- Guilty Pleasure

Let me first be clear about one thing: I am not a fan of High School Musical. In fact, I haven’t seen a single one of the movies. I do think Zac Efron is kind of cute, but that’s beside the point. And he’s much too young for me, anyway.

Like most people over the age of 9, I think it’s pretty ridiculous that so many of the High School Musical stars are coming out with their own albums. Really? Because I want to listen to Disney music, right? Then I saw a few interviews with Ashley Tisdale and I started to kind of like her. So, sue me. She’s a cute girl with a nice personality. And much more adult than I thought she was. Then I saw her perform “It’s Alright, It’s OK” and I really kind of enjoyed it. So I gave her a listen. And you know what? Her album is called Guilty Pleasure, and I can totally see why.

I think she’s kind of my new guilty pleasure. And I think the girl can totally move beyond the whole Disney stigma one day. I mean, her music is a bit racey. Maybe I’m totally out of line of here, but doesn’t “Masquerade” totally sound like it’s about role-playing? Yup. I’m in love with the song “Hot Mess,” and its totally PG-13 lyrics: “I’m such a hot mess/With you/I never knew/Never knew it could be so fun/It’s true/I was such a good girl before you came along/But you’re so racy/You’re my new favorite guy/So unruly/So uncivilized.” Doesn’t really sound like lyrics coming from a Disney star does it? And “Delete You” is the perfect song for 2009! We all have guys we need to delete. Not to mention there’s a song called “Hair.” That’s all about a guy running his fingers through her hair so she feels like “a sexy superstar.” It’s the most ridiculous song ever: “I like what you do to my hair. Who knew that looking a mess could feel so good?” OK, honestly, I’m stopping now. I have to stop. I am now Ashley Tisdale’s biggest fan. What happened to me?

OMG. Drooling.

While walking to the gym the other day, I found myself walking behind a group of boys en route to the bar for some afternoon drinking. Well, I assume that was where they were heading. I didn’t hear much of what they were saying after I noticed one of them was wearing a pair of Sevens that hugged his butt just right and lay perfectly atop his pair of vintage-inspired sneakers.

I was so caught up in my imagination (read: those jeans piled up on my floor) that I didn’t notice when the boys stopped for a red light…and I walked right into them. If that wasn’t embarrassing enough, I literally had drool dripping down my chin.

What can I say? There are just some things I can’t resist, and a hot pair of jeans is one of them. Everyone has their vice, so this week I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share what makes them weak in the knees. What’s your weakness?

Alex – Lakehead University: I can’t resist a pair of thick, black glasses and a great smile. I like happy nerds.

Sara C – Fordham: I love a man in a suit. There’s something about a clean-pressed shirt and tie that makes me want to rip all the clothes right off!

Norah – Drake University: Intelligence – and an Irish accent. Irresistible.

Leah – Ryerson University: I’m a sucker for a guy who can play guitar and sing.

Kathryn – University of Wisconsin-Madison: Piercing blue eyes and really long eyelashes. Guys always seem to luck out and get naturally long lashes while girls try every mascara under the sun to get that extra “oomph.”

Liza M – Minnesota: Nothing is better than a guy who smells good! Bonus points if he’s wearing Aqua De Gio instead of Axe.

Ness – Sheridan: Sex eyes.

Katie – Michigan State University: Styled hair.  Not gelled or lame crap like that, but cut and styled…like, Asian style.  Hell, I might as well just say, “If they’re Asian, I can’t resist them.”

Lauren H – The New School: Ok, it’s cheesy, but a great smile just does it for me the way nothing else can. Not a half-hearted smile, but a real “I’m happy to see you” smile puts me all a-flutter.

Kari – FSU: Mouth watering kisses… I love swooning!

Cristina – Michigan State: BROWN EYES.  If it’s a certain shade of brown eyes, I stop breathing for a few minutes.  In a good way.

Sarabeth – University of Texas: A good set of v-lines. *drool*

Marisa – Wesleyan University – I have a thing for guys with thick, dark hair. Nothing hotter than that!

Kelly- Simmons College: Strong arms are my weakness.

Donyae – University of Maryland: Tattoos and piercings. That’s two, really, but they kinda go hand in hand don’t they? And the crazier they are the better.

Erica – Kent State: I LOVE abnormally tall guys (think 6’2″ & taller).  I am just like, instantly attracted to them.

Carrie – Duke: I love when a guy sports a simple, white T-shirt. (And if he happens to pair the look with shaggy brown hair and toned arms, that won’t hurt either.)

Lena Chen – Harvard: Good taste in restaurants. I like men with discerning tongues!

K – GW: This may sound weird, but I always notice a guy’s voice and the way they talk, I think it says a lot about a person (I don’t just mean accent, however an Aussie accent and you are cordially invited to my bedroom).

Carly – Grinnell: If he smells really good, I’m done for. (Un)fortunately, this doesn’t happen very often.

Abby – Syracuse University: A backwards hat. I think it’s the Midwestern, country girl in me…

Maddie – Tufts: Facial hair when it’s not too short, not too long. The perfect amount of scruff.

Admit it. I’m sure most of you have met THIS guy at a party. He’s not exactly attractive (or is downright HAGGARD) and you don’t bother giving him the time of day, let alone a conversation. Then all of sudden, he picks up a guitar and it’s like a halo appears over his head.

His tangled beard is no longer gross, now it’s “rugged.” His dirty sneakers don’t reek anymore, now they’re “vintage.” It’s like there is some secret blinders installed in every single guitar on the planet that are ignited the second the boy starts strumming. And, speaking from experience, it becomes even worse when they play one of “your songs.” Unexpectedly, the ugly boy has become a guitar god in your eyes and you are smitten.

Sadly, this phenomenon isn’t exclusive to us mere mortals. It’s carried over into the world of celebrity, granting horrible to mediocre-looking fellows a chance to shine too. In fact, without their guitars, it’s doubtful whether these five men would have had a career at all because, god knows, they don’t have the looks to carry them through Hollywood.

1. Kurt Cobain

I know, I know. Let him rest in peace already. I am a HUGE Nirvana fan and, yes, I may find him sexy. But seriously, take another look at the dude! He’s about 5’5, his hair always looks like he rubbed Crisco through it, and he really wasn’t any good at hiding the whole drug-addict thing. His face is sallow and sunken in and he is emaciated! His clothes were always multiple sizes too big and full of moth holes and stains. Admit it, if you passed him on the street, you are more likely to offer him some spare change and direct him to the nearest soup kitchen instead of taking him home to serenade you all night long.

2. Jack White

Last summer I had the opportunity to see a free White Stripes show with only about thirty people there, which gave me an up close and personal view of Jack. And let me tell you, he is no prettier in person. He is absolutely pasty white, giving off the whole “I vant to suck your blood!” vibe. Like, no joking, I’m not sure if this guy has EVER seen the sun. Paired with his jet-black hair, the stark contrast is somewhat overwhelming. Besides that, he just looks like a huge creep. I would expect to see him lurking by playgrounds or slipping girls roofies at a party, not commanding an entire stadium with his guitar riffs.

3. Keith Richards

The senior citizen of the bunch, Keith Richards’ sexiness can only be accredited to his guitar. You may find his inclusion in this list to be strange, but I know lots of girls (myself shamefully included) who find him irresistible. Besides being old enough to be my grandfather, his style choices are not exactly aces. Sporting tight pants, a shiny button-down shirt and usually some odd form of trench coat, he reminds me of a wizard. And then he throws on those ridiculous headbands. With beads.

I mean, come on, anyone who was Johnny Depp’s inspiration for a PIRATE cannot be considered a looker. If it wasn’t for his guitar, he would be someone’s alcoholic grandpa, sitting in the nursing home and no one but his Tuesday night bridge club would give him a second glance.

4. James Blunt

Don’t lie. As soon as you read his name, one of James Blunt’s soulful tunes started playing in your head. Whether it was “You’re Beautiful” or “Goodbye My Lover,” it tugged at your heartstrings. And that is precisely why James Blunt is on this list! Some people consider him dreamy, but seriously, take away that guitar and let’s see what we have left. A slightly pudgy fellow, with greasy brown hair. And NOTHING ELSE.

Okay, we’ll give him the British accent, it definitely adds to the charm, but this one still baffles me. It’s not enough that he dated Petra Nemacova, a MODEL, but apparently the dude is a huge player. Let’s give it up to James Blunt for rising above and conquering booty with only a guitar.

5. Ric Ocasek

Lead singer of The Cars. This one doesn’t even get a write-up; just check out the picture of Ric and then check out his wife. WTF.

Anyone who has ever been to New York City has most likely encountered Times Square’s Naked Cowboy. I never really understood the appeal of A) Times Square and its massive carbon footprint, or B) the appeal of a guitar-strumming man in his tightie whities (unless, of course, that man is John Mayer..mmmmm), but for some reason this dude is totally famous.

In Times Square, at least.

Well, now he’s taking his show on the road: to the New York City court system. As if being a naked cowboy wasn’t obnoxious enough, this dude is now suing the makers of M&M’s for stealing his “bit” in their latest ads in NYC.

His “bit” being taking off his clothes and playing the guitar for small children? Um…how is that not the issue here?!

But, poor guy has to hold onto something. I mean, this is all he has. Especially since his self confidence was totally shot when some 7th grade girls saw his…talent… and laughed in his face.

[Photo courtesy of AOL]

Then I found one, and he ended up being a jackass, but that had nothing to do with the singing. The singing made the douche-ness bearable for far too long.

The singing…was wonderful.

And yes, maybe it’s a bit narcissistic to want your name in a song, or know that when he says something about brown eyes, he’s talking about you. It may seem a little selfish, but DAMN it feels good.

There are a ton of artists that I am now on a mission to have write songs about me. So, by the time these delicious men are popular enough to be on the radio (though they already should be) and they mention something about, “this girl, that I love” you can say, “Hey, I know that girl!”

Even if the songs aren’t about me….listen to them anyways, and you can fantasize that they’re about you, it’s a fun game to play.

Landon Pigg- Download: Falling in love at a coffee shop and Can’t Let Go

Ernie Halter- Download: Whisper and Something’s Come Over Me

Jon Foreman- Download: Behind Your Eyes

Tyrone Wells- Download: Baby Don’t You Change, Sea Breeze and Looking At Her Face

Tony Lucca- Download: Darlin’ I and Death of Me (yes, he was a MickeyMouse Club babe back in the day)

Joshua Radin- Download: Paperweight

Paolo Nutini- Dowload: Last Request and Loving You

Brett Dennen- Download: She’s Mine

Amos Lee- Download: Arms Of A Woman

Sufan Stevens- Download: The Dress Looks Nice On You

Matt Nathanson- Download: Laid and I Saw

And Ryan Shaw- Download: I Am Your Man

Make a mix tape and daydream away!

Did I miss any swoon-worthy musicians??

While the video may be a little scary (does anyone like clowns?), Ingrid’s single “The Way I Am” is cute and quirky. Like it? Get it here!

The Unwinding Cable Car

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Like what you see (and hear)? Get it here!

“The Way It Is”

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Nicole Atkins is a supremely talented singer-songwriter with distinct vocals and enourmous promise. Check out her video and then get her CD here.

MySpace has brought many an artist to the musical forefront, and Colbie Calliat is no exception. However, unlike many artists today, Calliat (like ballet) writes her own music.

The 22 year-old hails from sunny California and grew up in a musical family. Her father co-produced a few Fleetwood Mac albums and by age 11 Colbie began singing. It wasn’t until she was 19 that she took guitar lessons and really started to take her music seriously.

After the song “Bubbly” garnered interest on her MySpace page, Colbie’s music career took off. She shopped around for a record label and found a home with Universal Republic.

Aside from dropping her first album CoCo this past July, Calliat has been named a finalist in the AOL Breakers contest, a VH1 artist You Oughtta Know and is scheduled to appear at GIRLFRENZY! alongside the likes of Sheryl and Fiona in 2008.

Colbie’s music is just the feel-good, heartwarming girl music you love to listen to. It’s this sunny day, daydreaming sort of pop album that sets Calliat apart. That and actual talent.

Listen to CoCo on her website and then pick it up at iTunes. It’s way more than worth the 8 bucks the album will cost you.

Let’s face it: he’s a great songwriter and that fact has pretty much stayed the same since he hit the music scene hard in 2001. It’s his appearance that has changed over the years, and since we’re all a bit superficial here, (some more than others) let me indulge you in the physical transformation of John Mayer that all seems to center itself around one little feature – hair.

When his popularity first grew circa Room for Squares he was clean-cut and clean-shaven – total preppy, total gel-head, total HOTTIE.

With Heavier Things, he got a little grungier, let the doo grow out a bit, rocked the blazer look, and yet, still hot.

Then, he met Jessica. Thus began John’s confusing, downward spiral into this, which has left me saddened beyond belief. It’s just bananas how much hair can totally change a person’s appearance, and sometimes, for the worse.

This getting out of hand. I can’t even leave the house anymore. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t do anything but replay my Why Georgia video and ask myself, “No, John. Why YOU? WHY YOU!!!!”

But – but wait – do my eyes deceive me? Can it be true? Did JOHN MAYER GET A HAIRCUT? HOORAY!! Seems as though our boy escorted Jessica to last night’s Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Benefit, and may I say, he looks more fabulous than ever? Maybe even more fabulous than Ms. Simpson herself? (I much prefer her as a blonde). He’s got that whole Johnny Depp thing goin’ on!

Thank you, so much, to whoever cut and styled this man’s hair. You are my life-saver. Now I can finally get on with my superficial life, judging others by their hair do’s (and hair dont’s).

Now that we’re on the subject, I’m still waiting for Michael Bolton to grow his hair back out. Then things will really look up for me.